Chapter 1 - Start of something strange
It was the day Sheldon really dreaded. The day when the time when changes happen. Just like today, Leonard and Penny broke up he hated things to change. Leonard is his best friend and social protocol says that you have to side with your best friend especially if you are friends with his ex. Now that Leonard and Penny broke up, he doesn't know or rather he can't decide whether to abide to the ridiculous social protocol or continue to be friends with Penny even though his best friend wouldn't approve of it.
As Sheldon opened the door to his apartment building, the subject of his dilemma appeared. As such, he can't decide whether to avoid Penny and just forget about the mail in his mailbox wherein he would most probably get anxious deviating his routines.
Oh well what the hell.
"Uh-oh…" Sheldon said looking down at the floor as he entered the building.
"What?" Penny asked.
" I was going to get my mail." Sheldon said waiting for Penny to move away from the mailbox. But knowing Penny, he wouldn't be surprised if she didn't get the meaning behind his previous "uh-oh".
"Okay" Penny said flatly as she continued to look through the rest of her mail.
Penny having her radar on noticed that Sheldon shifted uncomfortably after she gave him the 'go' signal to retrieve his mail.
"Are you hoping to get it telepathically?" Penny looked at him with sarcasm on her face.
"I think you mean telekinetically." Sheldon countered quite annoyed by her use of scientific terms incorrectly.
Penny just gave him the look of 'whatever'.
"And no," Sheldon said as he moved towards his mailbox.
"I just want to be sure of the proper social protocol now that you and Leonard are having coitus." Sheldon said ignoring the disgusted look on Penny's face on the word 'coitus'.
"Ugh, god… can we please just say not seeing each other?" Penny said still with the disgusted look on her face.
"Well it could have been true, but as you live in the same building, you see each other all the time, the variable which has changed is the coitus." Sheldon explained.
Giving up, Penny said; " Okay, here's the protocol. You and I are still friends and you stop saying coitus." Penny gave him a smile.
Returning back the smile, Sheldon said; "Good, I'm glad that we are still friends."
"Really?" Penny asked, not believing what just came out of his mouth.
"Oh yes, it was a lot of work to accommodate you in my life. I'd hate for that effort to be in vain." Sheldon said plainly as he started towards the stairs.
"Right." Penny said knowing that this is a Sheldon speak. She grabbed her groceries and started to go up the stairs with him.
Before taking the first step, Sheldon stopped; " Just to be clear, do I have to stop saying 'coitus' to everyone or just you?"
Penny inhaled and said; " Everyone."
"Harsh terms, but alright, I'll just substitute 'intercourse'." Sheldon said as he moved along with Penny.
"Great…"
"Or 'fornication'. But that has judgmental overtone. I'll hold that in reserve."
Wanting to drop the subject Penny diverted the topic by asking him how he's been.
"Well my existence is continuum. So, I've been what I am at each point of implied time period."
"You're just 'coitus-ing' with me aren't you?" Penny said with a smile of using the term 'coitus'.
"Bazinga." Sheldon said noting that it was sarcasm.
"So how's Leonard doing?" Penny asked.
" He's fine, taking his time to look at your photographs and smelling the pillow you have slept on. Although he asked me not to tell you that." Sheldon said plainly as if he didn't commit a crime.
Knowing that Sheldon is bad at lying, and was really creep out of what Leonard's doing, "I'll pretend I didn't hear that."
"I'd rather you pretend I didn't say it." Sheldon said.
Sheldon noticed her groceries and saw the ingredients in making spaghetti sauce like his mom used to minus the hotdogs of course. Also giving a little information about spaghetti being used to feed Jesus by the Romans.
"Interesting, I'll have you come by for a spaghetti some time." Penny said not really caring about the trivia.
"I'm hungry now." Sheldon said.
"ohh.. Okay, why don't you give me an hour and come over." Penny said realizing the offer she just made.
"Will you cut up hotdogs into little chunks and mix it in the sauce." Sheldon said hoping. Penny was shocked by his eagerness when he said hotdogs in a spaghetti sauce.
"I don't have hotdogs." Penny said.
"That's alright I do. Ohh. You're in for what my mother calls a real Italian treat." Sheldon said excited and hurried to get the hotdogs. Penny just smiled at his child ways.
Sheldon entered his apartment not noticing the guys with their food and blankly said that he just hanged out his Penny, his roommate/best friend's ex.
Again with his dilemma of picking sides. He hated it when he has too. He was Leonard's best friend but he was also Penny's friend.
"Sheldon, I got your tangerine chicken, I hope you are hungry." Leonard said as he sat down and gave Sheldon a bowl.
Sheldon never liked quarrels. He didn't like disappointing his friends even though they always went behind his back. Beyond on what they call him as a robot is a soft-hearted, kind man. He suffered long enough through out his childhood without any friends that wouldn't bully him. Although he could still feel that his friends would backstab him, he looked past that because he liked his friends. The artic expedition, he looked past that so that he could keep his friends. Although it hurt at times when he remembered it, he still let it pass and move on. So instead of declining the food the tangerine chicken he ate it even making sounds of 'mmm'. He was half way on his meal when he made an excuse of getting a refreshing beverage only to slip the hotdogs in his pants. Now to go to Penny's apartment he excused himself of taking an after-dinner walk. This got the guys curious of his actions. He tried to counter their questions about the research he read about making the digestion effective. Howard went with him and Sheldon was trying his best to hide the fact that he has hotdog in his pants and was on his way to Penny's. After Sheldon bade Howard goodbye, a large dog apparently smelled the hotdog in his pants and was growling at him and started to run after his failed attempt to divert the dog's attention with the cat.
Penny was preparing dinner when she heard a familiar knock.
Knock knock knock, Penny
Knock Knock Knock, Penny
Penny was waiting for the third knock…
Knock knock knock Penny…
After the three sets of knocks she opened the door to find Sheldon out of his breath and holding up a piece of hotdog.
"Here, I have to trade the others for my life."
Sheldon doesn't have the appetite to eat anymore after the dinner he had with the guys. But he didn't want to disappoint Penny; after all he had to run for his life to save the piece of the hotdog. Penny asked about Leonard and of course, Sheldon, who doesn't want to lie but trying his best to keep a secret, said that Leonard had been crying.
"Aww. I feel terrible." Penny said talking about the break up, and Sheldon being the special ones…
"Why? Do you have a stomachache too?" Sheldon asked.
"No, why, do you?"
"No," he lied. " just making a dinner conversation that's all."
Sheldon took another mouthful of his spaghetti and making sounds of gusto. Penny feeling proud of herself smiled at his reactions.
"I'm glad you like it."
"I do. Leonard never cooks for me."
"Well maybe that's because Leonard can't cook."
"You can't cook but you made me this."
"Whatever… oohhhh let me get the cheesecake out of the fridge."
"Oh lord, I'm in Jewish hell."
Penny and Leonard met at the laundry room. It was awkward between them. But they can't do anything about it. Seeing that they live in the same apartment building in the same floors. Penny mentioned about taking Sheldon to Disneyland. Leonard was fine with it but gave Penny a warning not to let Goofy near Sheldon because it gives him nightmares and Leonard has to go through with it. Penny and Leonard fought like a divorced couple with a child.
It was 10 in the evening when Penny and Sheldon came home. Sheldon was in bliss when he said about California Adventure water show. This became a catalyst for an impending fight between Penny and Leonard. Sheldon tried to make please them both but Penny ordered him to go to bed. He obliged making them promise no to fight.
"Aren't you going to thank Penny for taking you to Disneyland?" Leonard told Sheldon.
"Thank you, Penny." Sheldon said as he plastered his happy, innocent smile.
"You're welcome sweetie."
It was the next morning when Sheldon woke up. He sat up on the bed and rubbed the sleep off his eyes. It was also early in the morning when Penny woke up, which is really unusual for her since she wakes up at around 11. Sheldon looked at his surroundings and noticed the bright colors of the bed sheets and the plush toys lying around. Penny then sat up and rubbed the sleep off her eyes and noticed the dark blue comforter and the Mickey Mouse hat on her head. "Since when did I get a hat?" she said as she took in the surroundings, action figures of superheroes and comic books.
"What the hell?! Why am I in Sheldon's room?" Penny said immediately getting out of the bed.
"What is this swirling vortex of entropy and in what universe am I in Penny's room?" Sheldon said immediately getting out of the bed too.
Sheldon felt the thin clothing that he is wearing. He looked down and saw that he was dressed in a pink Hello Kitty shorts and a tank top. "What on Newton's name is happening?"
Penny noticed a hard thing sticking out of her groin and looked down only to see a thing trying to poke out of her groin. Also she was wearing plaid pajamas and top. "What the freaking hell is this?"
Sheldon ran into the full body mirror beside the bed and saw the image.
Penny ran to the bathroom and looked at the mirror.
"Oh dear Lord!"
"Holy crap on a cracker!"
"AHHHHHHHHH" both screams of Penny and Sheldon were heard throughout the apartment.
Sheldon grabbed a bathrobe and wore it so as Penny grabbing the matching bathrobe of the plaid pajamas and ran out of the apartment. Both looked at each other at the hall not believing that they can see their own selves.
It dawned to them that Sheldon was on Penny's body and Penny was on Sheldon's body.
"What the hell is this?" Penny said
"Oh dear Lord!" Sheldon said as they both passed out the hall.
A/N: my first big bang theory fanfic. i need your kind and gentle reviews. i'm new into this. This is a Sheldon/Penny.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Big Bang Theory