Jerry and Elaine had made a bet. It all started with Jerry leaving the water running in the bathroom. His bathtub overflowed and water flooded his apartment. It even ruined his imported bath mat. What a mess it caused. Jerry had to wear cutoff pants just to wade through the warm soapy flood. Of course, Jerry's mistake (and short pants) resulted in plenty of guffaws and taunts from Elaine. She also made a remark about how chubby his legs looked. The pair got into an argument and eventually challenged each other to a diet. They made a bet to see who could lose the most weight in one month. At the end of the month, Elaine came over to Jerry's apartment so they could hit the scales. They compared weights, and Elaine had won. She lost three pounds and Jerry lost zero.
"That means you have to do everything I tell you to do," she informed Jerry.
That was the deal they made. The loser had to do everything the winner told them to do for an entire day. No matter what it was.
Jerry sighed. "Fine."
"For starters, bring me a cup of coffee. No cream. No sugar." Elaine stretched out on Jerry's couch.
Jerry went to the kitchen to prepare the coffee.
"Bring me a sugar cookie too," she said.
"Okay." Jerry pulled a sugar cookie from the jar. "But hey, what happens if I refuse to do something you order me to?"
"Then you'll pay the penalty," Elaine replied.
"And what is the penalty?"
"Hmmm." Elaine curled her lip in thought, "I haven't decided yet but give me time."
Jerry rolled his eyes. He brought Elaine her coffee and cookie, and then sat down in the comfy chair. They watched TV for a while. George entered the room and greeted them with a little wave.
"Hello, George!" Elaine said with a smile.
Jerry glanced up momentarily. "Hey, George. What's new?"
"What's new?" George sighed as he sank into a chair. "Nothing is new, Jerry…nothing."
"Wanna talk about it?" Elaine asked, noticing how down he looked.
"You remember Gloria Glitterbaum, that sassy little showgirl from the BongBong? I had a date with her…and she just canceled it. Now I'm dateless for Friday night and I don't know what to do with myself."
"Yeah, that's a shame," Jerry commented, still looking at the television screen.
"Aw, I'm sorry," Elaine attempted to console George. "Did she give a reason for the cancellation?"
"Nope! No reasons, no excuses…she just up and canceled! Changed her mind I guess."
Elaine nodded, knowingly. "Well…don't feel too badly, George. It's her loss."
"Yeah…It's Gloria Glitterbaum's loss alright," Jerry said in a sarcastic manner.
Elaine glared at him. "Speaking of loss," she said, coldly. "Jerry is about to lose something too."
"What?"
"His TV privileges." Elaine shut off the television.
"Hey, I was watching that!" Jerry protested.
"Not anymore."
Jerry stood up. "I'm turning it back on…"
"Nope, you have to do exactly as I say, remember? So just sit yourself down and look at the blank screen."
"Screw this," Jerry grumbled as he sank back into the seat.
George calmly watched their exchange, munching on a pretzel he found in the kitchen. He knew all about their little bet. "Hey, Jerry, how about a snack?"
"No thanks," Jerry replied, glumly. "My weight isn't going to watch itself."
George shrugged. "So have some fruit and vegetables. That junk is good for you."
Jerry sighed. "I haven't got any of that stuff."
Kramer darted into the room. "Hi."
"Kramer, do you have any vegetables at your place? Some celery maybe?" Jerry asked.
"Celery? Yeah. I think I might have some...but I don't have any peanut butter to spread on it, sorry. I used the rest of it this morning on my macaroni and cheese."
"Yuck!" Elaine said.
"Mmm, that sounds like a treat," Jerry gushed, his face brightening. "Kramer, will you give me your recipe?"
Kramer cracked a little smile. "You really want it?"
"No!"
Elaine jumped to her feet. "Okay, that's it! Let's all settle down now. Jerry?"
"What now?"
She pointed her finger right at George, who looked back at her in confusion. "You need to comfort your friend George. He just suffered the harsh blow of rejection once again and he needs some consolation."
"What do I have to do?" Jerry asked.
"You have to hug him."
"Oh, alright…"
"And give him a kiss."
"Say what now?"
"Better do it before she takes away your bathroom privileges next," George chuckled, slightly amused although he wasn't thrilled about the idea either.
Jerry then walked up to George and threw his arms around the little man. He planted a smacking kiss right on George's smooth head.
Kramer joined Elaine on the couch. "He did it," he told her.
"Yes, I did," Jerry grumbled. "Happy, Elaine?"
"Very," she responded, but sounded slightly bored.
"Now if you're done with me, I'm gonna run down to the restaurant and grab a bite. I'm starved."
"Done with you? Hell, I'm just getting warmed up," Elaine replied, with smugness in her tone.
Kramer shook his head in disbelief. "Elaine, what's your problem? A man says he's hungry. I know I couldn't function without food in my tummy."
Then Kramer rested his feet on the coffee table. That's when everyone noticed he didn't have shoes on. He wore only white socks. His left big toe poked out through a hole.
"Where are your shoes?" Jerry asked.
"Today is my wear-no-shoes day," Kramer replied.
"Why?" Elaine inquired.
"I don't think feet were meant to be contained inside shoes all the time. My toes can move freely now and it feels terrific," Kramer explained, wiggling his socked feet back and forth.
Elaine stared at Kramer's feet for a moment, and then she looked up at Jerry. A strange smile spread across her face. "Oh, Jerry?"
"What is it, Elaine?" he sighed.
"Would you mind doing one more thing?"
"Sure, what?"
"You have to…," Elaine started giggling.
Jerry cocked his head, giving her an odd look. "…What?"
She laughed. "Tickle Kramer's feet!"
"WHAT?!" Jerry and Kramer shouted in unison.
"Are you kidding? I'm not touching those things," Jerry groaned in disgust.
"Do it!" Elaine pointed to Kramer's feet. "Tickle him!"
Kramer looked petrified. He was extremely ticklish. "Hey, hey, wait a minute! No fair! I can't stand to be tickled!"
Jerry looked back at Elaine. "He doesn't want to be tickled, Elaine. Can't you see that? I won't do it."
Elaine folded her arms. "Jerry, if you refuse to do this…you will pay the penalty."
"The penalty…," Jerry scoffed. "You don't even know your own penalty!"
"I do now!" Elaine leaned into Jerry's face and whispered, "If you don't tickle him…we're going to tickle you, Jerry."
Jerry froze. He blushed a little and sighed, "Okay, you win. I'll do it."
Kramer became very defensive as Jerry approached him. He curled up on the couch, tucking his feet safely under himself to hide them. This wasn't going to be an easy job for Jerry.
"Can I get some help, you guys? He's going to put up a fight."
"Sure, Jerry," George said as he and Elaine came over to help.
In an act of desperation, Kramer jumped off the couch and made a dash for the door. He then tripped over his own clumsy feet and fell to the floor. Before he had a chance to get up, Elaine and George rolled him onto his back and pinned him. They ignored his protests and threats. George held his arms down while Elaine straddled his hips. Jerry took his position over Kramer's kicking legs and held them down by sitting on them. He locked his own legs around Kramer's ankles so he couldn't move his feet very much.
"Get his socks off!" Elaine shouted.
Jerry cringed, but he had no choice. He removed Kramer's socks and began tickling the bottoms of his bare feet. Kramer completely lost it and burst out laughing as Jerry tickled him.
"PLEHEHEHEASE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OOOHHHH! STOP TICKLING ME!" Kramer shouted, howling with laughter.
Jerry shivered. He continued tickling for a few minutes and then looked at Elaine. "How long do I have to keep this up?" he asked.
"Just a little longer," Elaine said, smiling evilly.
Kramer bucked wildly on the floor, trying desperately to get away from the ticklish agony. He was absolutely hysterical with laughter!
"God, he's going crazy!" George remarked, struggling to hold back Kramer's arms. "Where exactly are you tickling him, Jerry?"
"The arches of his feet," Jerry answered.
"Ooh, that sounds like torture."
Jerry shuddered at the thought. "It is, pure torture. In fact…that's my weak spot too."
Immediately after saying that, Jerry gasped. A deer-in-the-headlights look flashed across his face. He just realized the horrible mistake he made, letting that confession slip past his lips.
"What did you say, Jerry?" George asked, unable to hear over Kramer's laughs.
"Oh, nothing! Nothing at all." Jerry breathed a sigh of relief.
"I CAN'T TAKE IT!" Kramer shrieked, his face growing redder by the minute. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! PLEASE STOHOHOHOHOHOHOP!"
Jerry glanced over his shoulder so he could see Kramer's expression. The sight of Kramer with his head thrown back and laughing like a lunatic…it made Jerry smile. The smug comedian was actually starting to enjoy this. He even decided to tease a little bit.
"Citchy citchy coo! He's ticklish like a little baby! That's so cute," Jerry cooed, grinning evilly.
He kept up the ruthless foot tickling for ten minutes. He then decided to let Kramer rest, but only for a moment.
"Wow, he sure is ticklish on the feet," Elaine said in awe.
"I bet his toes are excruciatingly ticklish too," Jerry said wickedly.
"Nooo! Not the toes, not the toes! Anywhere but the toes!" Kramer begged.
"Sorry, but I have my orders…," Jerry grinned darkly.
Kramer's toes curled in for protection, but Jerry spread the toes back forcibly and tickled the undersides of them! This caused Kramer to squeal just like a little girl. His body dripped with sweat as he writhed around, trying in vain to find relief.
"AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA COME ON, JERRY! HAHAHAHAHAHA THAHAHAHAT TIHIHIHICKLES MEHEHEHEHE!" Kramer screamed with laughter, tears falling endlessly down his cheeks.
Elaine and George took pity on their friend. "Uh, Jerry, I think you can stop now," Elaine told the comedian, tapping his shoulder. It took a while, but they finally convinced Jerry to stop tickling the poor guy and let him go.
George got nailed in the head by Kramer's bare foot. Jerry dodged to avoid being hit by the frantic man. Elaine ran for cover so she wouldn't get injured.
"You are all…so dead," Kramer growled, but with that goofy smile still stuck to his face. He sat in an upright position to catch his breath. He began rubbing his soles, trying to get rid of the remaining tickly feeling.
Jerry folded his arms and smiled smugly. "Elaine, I'm glad you came up with that idea. That was fun."
"Oh, yeah?" Kramer said, when he regained his composure. "How would you like a turn?"
Jerry paused, a shiver of fear running down his spine. He looked at his friend. "I don't know what you mean."
"Jerry, I heard you say something very interesting while you were tickling Kramer," Elaine said, an impish gleam in her eye.
Jerry's eyes widened.
Elaine smirked. "Didn't you say something about your…weak spot?"
"Oh, God."
"What's this I'm hearing?" Kramer asked with a dark smile. "You ticklish too, Jerry?"
"N-no, of course not, heh heh," Jerry chuckled, trying to sound confident but failing miserably.
"What do you think, Elaine?" George asked.
"I think we should give him the tickle treatment," she said.
"I think that is an excellent idea," Kramer agreed.
Now highly nervous, Jerry tried to move away but his friends surrounded him. They had him cornered. "Hey…nobody is getting anywhere near my feet, okay?"
"You got ticklish feet, don't you, Jerry?" Kramer chuckled. "Just wait until Newman hears about this…"
George spoke up next. "Jerry Seinfeld, I hope you're ready to eat goose…because yours is cooked."
Jerry gulped. "But…but…Elaine?" He turned to his female friend. "You're making me pay the penalty? Why? I did everything you said!"
She smiled at him, shrugging her shoulders. "True, but you know what they say. What goes around, comes around."
"But this whole thing was YOUR idea!"
"Yeah, well, you didn't have to enjoy it so much," Kramer said, still reeling from the tickle torture he had received.
They moved in to straddle him, but Jerry rushed to the door and fled the room with the speed of a rocket. His friends chased him. They planned to tickle the living daylights out of him. The chase went on all throughout the building. They chased him relentlessly down the hallways and stairways.
"DON'T TICKLE!" Jerry shouted, running for his life.
The End