Harry potter and the anti-anime cult
By Ellie Anderson
It was the first day of school at Hogwarts. All the mudbloods were choosing their houses and chatting about the new year. Watching the first years from the top of the stairs was everybodys favorite scar faced bastard. Harry potter. Harry had saved the school so many times his classmates thought of him as more of a showoff then a hero. This year Harry had to do somthing to be remembered for. Somthing that would make him great.
As Harry sat at the top of the stairs he was interupted by that know it all bitch hermione.
"Harry Potter" she growled
"what the fucks the matter with you?" asked Harry, still watching the first years.
"trying to think of a way to save hogwarts again? go fuck a centaur! everybodys sick of your little act, why dont you go find another school to bother?" yelled Hermione as she slapped the back of his head. Harry (rather pissed off at Hermione's outbust) turned around and shoved Hermione down the stairs. Fortunatly Malfloy happend to be at the bottom of the stairs and caught her on the way down.
"Malfloy you gay ass mother fucker! why did you help her?"
Malfloy helped Hermione back on her feet at glared back at Harry Potter
"Hermione's my girlfriend. We love to stay up late every night reading anime, were so in love! she hates your guts Harry." Malfloy kissed Hermione on the cheek and the two of them walked away.
If there was one thing that pissed Harry off it was seeing Hermione with another boy, especially Malfloy. Harrys blood began to boil.
Reading anime? is that what those two fuckers had in common? Harry now knew what he must do to be rememered at Hogwarts. Harry had to destroy anime, but how? it was everywhere. Harry had to do somthing drastic. Harry had to create a cult.
The next day work began on Harrry's anti-anime cult. He posted fliers around the school and waited for his loyal followers to show up at his dorm. Ron and Ginny were the first to show
"Hermione a Malfloy kissing anime lover? lets kill that bitch!" cheered Ginny with an evil grin on her face (Ron just stood in the corner sharpening his pocket knife) Harry was thrilled to see his two best friends at the cult meeting. Later on other students came including a bunch of Hufflepuff students who were sick of always being left out of the fun. Harry Potter stood in front of the group and explained why they were there.
"anime is the cause of all our troubles! it makes us fail, makes us stupid and makes our best friends become our worst enimies." Harry Potter pointed at a short Gryfindor boy in the crowd
"you flunked potions class last year did you not?" Harry smiled "why exactly did you fail?"
the boy looked shyly at his feet "I failed because I drew anime instead of doing the test" the crowd gasped at his confession. "so you see!" shouted Harry "anime is why our school is falling apart! it's the reason why Voldamort is always after us!"
The cult chattered all through the night, and for many weeks afterwords Harry's followers destroyed any anime they saw (Harry himself pissed on an anime drawing sketched into the bathroom wall) all the while Hermione and Malfloy were unaware of Harrys anti-anime rampage, that is untill Hermione found one of his fliers.
"an anti anime cult? that little pig fucker! lets kill him and carve sweet anime into his rotting fleash" Malfloy looked at her with a look of desguest on his face
"thats the most fucked up thing i've ever heard! are you trying to make me sick? lets just shoot the mother fucker at his next cult meeting, ok?" Hermione sighed and reluctantly agreed with Malfloys plan. The next meeting was going to be held this weekend. Hermione and Malfloy were going to crash the next meeting ready to kill.
Harry Potter had gained quite a bit of popularity with his new cult. Students respected Harry and would often hold manga burings outside the school yard. Ron and Ginny were looking forward to the meeting this weekend and couldn't get any sleep. The two even fell asleep in divination (which was later blamed on anime) things were looking good for Harry, but little did he know things were about to change.
Saturday morning finally arrived. Harrys followers gathered around as they waited for their beloved hero, when Harry arrived the group cheered loudly. Harry Potter stood in front of the crowd holding a picture of Inuyasha up for everybody to see.
"this is for everything anime has done to us!" he shouted as he set the picture on fire. The cult went wild, Harry was the greatest thing to happen to Hogwarts since sliced bread. But unfourtunatly before Harry could begin his speech Malfloy pushed his way through the crowd and shot Harry in the arm
"how you like me now Potter? still think i'm a sick fuck? then wait untill you see this!" Malfloy grabbed Hermione and the two of them had hot sex on top of the dying Harry Potter. The crowd watched with mixed feelings. When it was all over Malfly and Hermione stood before the cult. The members cheered even louder then before!
"Malfloy did it! he killed Harry Potter, our terror is over!"
Malfloy and Hermione were a bit confused but accepted the applause. Everybody agreed that Hogwarts was now a better place thanks to Malfloy.
Life was better without Harry Potter, hell the grass even looked greener. Students were glad that the balance of power had shifted and everything was back to the way it should be. Eventually people began to forget about Harry Potter and his fallen cult, which was just fine.
The End