Written for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry (Challenges & Assignments):

April Monthly Challenge - HOUSE CHALLENGE - Going, Going, Gone!
54. Plot point - learning to cook

Insane House Challenge
Trait: Dramatic

Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter universe or any characters therein.

Beta Love to Alana - I don't know what I'd do without her!

"And on a final note, the instructor I had lined up for the magical cooking elective course has… well, there was an accident in his kitchen and he is unable to fulfill the contract. On that note, I now need one of you to teach the course." There was a collective groan, and most all the staff members sunk a bit into their chairs. The headmaster had been attempting to get this magical cooking course off the ground for almost a decade, and the position was cursed worse than the DADA position - no instructor had even managed to make it to the start of the school year.

"Albus, why don't we just scrap the class again this year?" Severus Snape asked nonchalantly. "Personally, I don't see the point to the course at all. Here at Hogwarts, the elves do the cooking - and while at their homes, most of the children cannot use their wands to practice. Unless we are restricting the course to seventh year, above-age students?"

"As a matter of fact, Severus…" the headmaster began, and Severus groaned and leaned his head forward so his hair would cover his face. Nothing good ever came when the headmaster began a sentence like that. He ignored the next few minutes of the headmaster's speech, trying to think of a way out of this mess. "So thank you, Severus. She will join you in the classroom next to the kitchens on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays directly after dinner lets out. That concludes this meeting, have a wonderful week everyone." Severus blinked, silently berating himself for tuning out what was said when he realized that he had somehow volunteered to do… something.

"I must say I'm rather shocked, Severus," Minerva McGonagall said as they left the staff room. "I didn't think you even liked any of my Gryffindors. To volunteer to mentor Ms. Granger so she can teach the class next year is truly benevolent."

Severus stopped short and allowed his occlumency shields to drop into place. I did what? "Surely you misunderstood, Minerva," he sneered. "I did not volunteer to mentor Ms. Granger; I merely agreed to listen to her inane questions for three hours a week." At least, I hope that's all I agreed to.

Minerva outright laughed, her hand covering her mouth as she tried to hold it in. "Oh Severus, you agreed to teach her how to magically cook! How could you have mistaken that direct order?" She shook her head and walked off without him, laughter still shaking her shoulders.

Well shit. How am I to teach the chit to magically cook when I don't know how to do it myself? He thought for several moments before rushing to the library, robes billowing behind him dramatically. He needed to at least learn the basics of how to cook before he had to meet the girl next week.

Word Count: 479 by Google Docs