Part One

Insomnia

I'm not asleep... but that doesn't mean I'm awake. ~Author Unknown

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Well hello hello.

This bastardized version of the wonderful Lewis Caroll story ALICE IN WONDERLAND was meant to explore an idea that I had digging into my skull like a persistent little tumor!

To let all know its intended to be dark. But I manage to put in some oh so clever statements throughout the story just ruin my oh soo angst mood.

Hopefully you snicker to yourself at the break of the melodramatic intensity.

Or not.

Ah well.

Any who I set this in more modern times and is a story about a girl who goes to sleep.

Yes it is a master plot, No?

Not really.

That's all I can share without spoiling some majorly spoilable events. You know such things have short shelf lives.

I can still continue on my rant though. Need to up that word count to ze MAX.

Well, for all those dedicated readers that I just ruined the tone of the whole story by reading this silliness will be rewarded. There shall be weird ass Hatter romance. We all love weird ass romance because it rhymes.

Hmm

Well enjoy.

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Sleep... Oh! how I loathe those little slices of death. ~Author unknown, various wordings commonly attributed to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Edgar Allan Poe, and Journey to the Center of the Earth

Walked home from school today.

Again.

Yes, I walked three miles home.

What was the reason for me to spend the better part of an hour , walking with books weighing more then they should? I fell asleep during last period. My peers didn't find it necessary to wake me up and until the teacher poke me with a shaky finger asking whether or not I wanted a aspirin.

I jumped waking up from a dream in which I was getting stabbed by a knife. Not very pleasant.

Though this isn't new.

In fact it's a routine by now. I would maybe get a few hours of sleep for a couple of days . Wake up depending if I even slept. Rushed to school. Fought to stay awake, only stayed up through the day because of the things in the corner. Couldn't stay up during last period and maybe I would catch the bus. And every time I dream, I dream of scary things.

So I can't fall asleep.

Because the things I see when I sleep are far worst then the Thing in the corner.

Perhaps this is the reason things aren't going quite right.

He he he he ha HA HA HAHA.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if all my problems could be solved by getting a little more sleep.

It would be a wonderland.

By the way, its not like I hate walking or any cardiovascular exercise. It's just that I wasn't in the mood. You have to be in the mood for those kinds of things.

So I walked home, tired as crap. I haven't slept too much for the past five days. I felt like I was dying. Every step was cumbersome.

"Cumbersome" I said out loud, enjoying the taste of the word. I said it again and again till the word evolved into cucumber. Then I stopped, feeling stupid.

"It's no use trying to act smart." I said sternly to myself. "Your just making it worst for yourself, You are."

I welled up with tears and refused to let them go. "Stop it." I replied.

I played this until I got home. Speaking sternly and sobbing alternatively. It distracted me from my exhaustion.

I liked playing these games.

Sometimes the other me was quite entertaining . Occasional I got to talk to an English little boy, other times it was a Russian rocker. Most of the time I got stuck with someone who was quite frankly a ass. Like today.

I walked into a small house in a shabby neighborhood. It was the only "real" neighborhood in town. So naturally it invited the attention of the towns population during the major Holidays. Carolers during Christmas , Trick or treaters during Halloween, and a perpetual supply of those people who try to get you to convert.

I let my Backpack (or Mochila as I learned in Spanish today) fall heavily on the floor, releasing the pain from my back. Rubbing my sore spots I walked into the kitchen. Which wasn't much of one. Half the house was made up of a large square that contained the living room, kitchen and dining room. The only distinction between these areas was the change from carpet to tile.

I opened the brown fridge and sighed. God the fridge was made in the seventies I swear. Who made brown fridges? It was such an ugly bleh brown too. The upside to it was that it matched the horrible paint drip walls. I suppose this all was very attractive thirty years ago. Well back to the pressing dilemma of eating.

Tortillas, cheese, apple sauce, pineapple, walnuts, and ketchup was the entire contents if the fridge.

Like yesterday.

So like yesterday I made myself a quesadilla with everything in the fridge, using the ketchup and applesauce as dipping sauce.

Creative, No?

I had to eat.

So I wasn't picky.

Then I did my homework for entertainment. I have no T.V or computer, or any other modern convince such as a Mp3 or a cell phone or whatever. Nope had to find things to do other then glue myself to a screen.

I read quite a bit. In fact, much more then my peers in my Hick town. I get tease because of it. I don't care though. Nope, I absolutely don't give a rat's ass. I just don't read at school anymore.

But today I decided to go for a walk on the account of how flippin woozy I was.

First I took a tour of my house.

I noticed some pictures of my younger years scatter about the house. I was a fat little thing. My little jelly rolls were fleshy like grub fat. Oh yes, I was an obese child because my mom would let her sweet baby anything she desired to eat. So I was a little greedy guts. It wasn't till I was older did I gain some self control and thinned out. Ah, I was an funny looking kid.

I also took into account that my cat was missing. She usually liked to greet me, rubbing her damn hair all over my body. Inducing me to a fit of sneezing. I don't know why I even kept a cat when I'm allergic to them.

Well the funny thing about that is, I found her in a dumpster. To be exact it was the dumpster in front of the house that gave my abode so much charm. I was out for one of my walks when I heard this really pathetic mewling. It was the kind of pathetic that you knew that the originator of the sound knew that it was dying. So it was making this mewling so that whoever heard it will know that it existed. I heard it and I was hella curious. So I went sorting through shining bags of trash and sludge that smelt like baking shit. Then I found this little mangy ash kitten being smashed by a can of soda that was leaking all over her. She had a gimp leg because of it. Her foot pointed up all the time.

I saved her.

She didn't seem to be very grateful though. The way she likes to pounce on my head in the middle of the bloody night. I don't get very mad about it though. I'm usually wide awake about midnight. She helps me get through the long nights. She likes to play this one game where she attacks my hand vehemently until she knocks herself out. It pretty funny to watch.

I couldn't find her in the house

Ah well. She was most likely in one of those hiding places that wouldn't cross my to look.

Laying about in a contented way.

As cats like to do.

I walked about my neighborhood. Enjoying the freedom from the Thing, The only time I didn't see it was when I was outside. No corners for It to reside in. Nope. The walk perked me up. Such freedom from stress, soreness, exhaustion, and the Thing was a rarity. I even smiled to myself and began to hum some made up nonsense.

Perhaps I could be a wild child. Go off and live without corners in the wilderness.

Sleep whenever I wanted. Eat berries and leaves. Piss on trees to mark my territory. Kill a Bambi with my bear hands, letting the warm gushing blood wash over me like a baptism.

I chuckled.

Though as the world would have it, I stopped. As the world would have it, it preferred me miserable. I stared bugged eyed at the saturnine object before me.

Dilah.

It couldn't be. How the hell did she even get out?

Oh my Dilah.

I stumbled over to the bloody smashed bit of fur.

It was. Itwasitwasitwasitwasitwas.

A car ran over her head. The bones splintered through the skin, letting the brain to spill out and deflate her pretty round face. It stretched her gums back revealing all her white pointy teeth. Dilah smiled at me morbidly. Already the kittens body was hard and bloated from the decomposing gas from her insides.

I nudged her with the tip of my shoe.

Should I bury her or leave her prone? I stared at the ugly thing at my feet. The ashen fur blended wonderfully into the road. Dilahs blood had outline her head in a dark contrast. Like the day I found her. Covered in sickly sweet syrup.

Poor helpless thing. I didn't save her after all.

I had to bury her.

Swallowing my disgust I grabbed Dilahs body and felt it deflate. It smelt like rotting death.

Choking down rising bile I ran to my backyard. Kicking a shallow grave I threw the kitten into it. I covered the grave with a mountain of dirt and rocks.

I threw up over the fence once I noticed the bits of brain covering my shirt.

I washed my hands over and over again. I scrubbed myself in the shower till my skin was raw. I threw my clothes into the dumpster.

Into Dilah's dumpster.

I sat on my couch. My eyes too tired to cry. It all seem to be a haze. It really did. As soon as I touched her carcass my brain went into this alternate state where I was watching everything from outside my body. Or at least imagine how I looked from my body. I don't think I experienced an astro whatever the hell. I did feel this separation like feeling. Like the connection between my mind and body was snapped. I sat there till it was dark. Till I know mother would be home soon.

Finally I went to my bedroom. The thing in the corner was waiting. The thing is a constant ……..constant presence in my life. It would sit in the corner, always shifting wretchedly . It had no eyes but it knew when ever I closed my eyes for too long. It would creep closer to me. It had large jagged knife teeth. Its skin sometimes would be translucent and I could see its insides. Other times it's skin was like black velvet and I couldn't see it at all in the dark. But it's indentations would shine as if it had eyes. It was so horrendously thin that its starved bones stuck out.

It was frightening.

And I saw it everyday.

And my head was still filled with images of Dilah's broken body..

But Oh. Oh Oh OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH.

The smaller the room the closer the thing. The closer that monster was.

The snuffling rasping razing breath keeping my senses screaming.

It was nothing, though.

Compared to those dreams.

To those god damn dreams.

I stared at the thing as I climbed into bed. It was twitching in an sharp unnatural way. The Thing warped it's body into this impossible positions, that should have broken something in any normal creature. This was how it was for a great while. At one point I heard mom come home from work. She slowly opened the door and peered in on me. I was rolled on my side away from her.

"Your such a good girl." she cooed to herself. "Good girl."

Mom went away shutting the door oh so carefully. Like she was afraid if she made too much noise she would wake me up. Oh that just murdered me when she did that. I lied there staring at the corner. She said that sometimes, but most of the time she would just look at me for minutes on end. This was the only time she would ever say something to me during a period of twenty-four hours.

Though occasionally my body betrays me. My stone heavy eyelids would close for a moment and the thing was closer and louder. Hours passed and my eyes strained to see where that thing was. Minutes ticked away and my body shut down. I couldn't take it anymore. My eyes fell heavily shut. Then what hell happened for moments. Thousands of the things eating me alive. My guts were spread around me like some macabre holiday celebration. Blood was pooling around me. So much scarlet water came from me that I was drowning in it. But for some reason I was desperately trying to gather my organs back inside me but those Things. They were eating them and I was dying and dying.