Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. Well the story will never be and the boy just might be. *wink wink*

This is just a little one-shot I made on my cellphone whenever I got bored. Hope you like it!

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I've always wondered why muggles don't let women into their battles. I figured that they were against females and that only increased my disgust for them.

Though now…I understand them, as I wait for the dark lord to give the command to attack, I realize that I understand why few women are sent into war by the muggles. It is to avoid situations like mine.

How would it be if a man fell in love with a woman on the other side of the war? How would it be if he had to face her in the battle field and see her miss death by inches every now and then, feel your heart stop for a moment as the killing curse soars toward her, knowing fully well that you can do nothing to help because that will lead to your own end…and fell relief when she somehow escapes death once again.

I'll tell you how it feels. It's sheer torture.

I never planned to fall in love with Hermione Granger, mudblood, know-it-all and best friend of the boy-who-lived. Yet somehow, I did.

I see her in the crowd now. Her head held high and her fierceness is evident in the bright spark in her soft brown eyes. Her butter brown hair is tied in a know at the back of her head. It isn't the frizz it was before, it grew out and now it falls in soft smooth curls down her back and over her shoulder.

Her blue eyes meet my own and she gives me a small smile. But it wasn't the kind of smile I had always hoped to receive from her. It was mocking. The very same smile I had used on her countless times before. It was one of those moments that I never regretted my past actions more.

I forced myself to tear my eyes away from her mocking gaze and focused entirely on the dark Lords usual speech, the one where he threatens everyone to give Potter over and yet they never do.

It had never worked. So why should it now? Scar-head had always been too much of a coward to hand himself over to the Dark Lord to save innocent lives. But when you look at it carefully…it makes me think. How am I any different? Why is it that even if we were both cowards in one way, Granger always chooses him over me. Maybe it's because I never really ever gave her a sign that I wanted her on my side. Never gave her even a single hint that it wasn't her that I loathed, it was my not having her that caused me to act in such a way.

I love her. And I hate that I do, because I can never have her. The girl with the gorgeous brown eyes and butter-brown waves would never be mine.

We were on the opposite ends of the spectrum. I see her, with the smile on her face which had enchanted me the first time I had met her and I reach out, but no matter how much I stretch, she's always too far away. And the thing is, she's not reaching back.

You see, it's like a modern Romeo and Juliet. That muggle book I found in the Hogwarts library when I was in third year. The one about the star-crossed lovers who loved each other but they weren't meant to be. They tried to stay together and they died trying.

I'm the rich guy who falls in love with Juliet the first time he sees her. She's Juliet, standing at the balcony and mooning over the stars. But there is one sad twist which makes our story very different from Romeo and Juliet. I'm downstairs, singing her praises…and she? She never looks down.

I frowned. It wasn't time to go thinking about scenes in my stinking love life. It was time to go back to the role that I always played whenever battles ensued. Protect Hermione; all the while, pretending that I'm part of the dark side.

It's weird the way things are really. She is the reason that I don't want to be in the Dark side, but she is also the only other reason why I'm staying there. I have to be there to protect her. I'm not letting her die on me. She's the only reason why I'm still here, fighting. I need to know all the dark Lords plans. I need to know all the strategies, then in the battle field I have to use all I know in my advantage to protect Hermione the best that I could. Keep her away from most of the trouble. It's the only safe way of showing her how much I really care for her. I'm willing to give my life for me. But it appears as if she hasn't realized that yet.

"Charge!" Bellatrix screeched at the Dark Lords signal. The fight ensued and I found myself following Granger, deflecting curses sent toward her and blasting people away from my path. I had to play a convincing role after all.

Twice I had to turn completely away from her to duel with a more masterful fighter than all the others were. These moments when I had to remove her form my sight made my heart hurt so much that I tried my best to end the duel as quickly as I could. But the pain wasn't as excruciating as the one that I felt when I turned around after my second duel to find Hermione writhing and screaming under the cruciatus curse with my own Aunt Bellatrix standing over her, cackling like the evil witch she was.

"No!" I growled.

I pushed over to her, past the fighting people and dodging stray spells. Her screams sliced through the air and right into my heart. It felt as if it would have been better to tear my chest open and gouge out the fiercely aching heart out.

But that wouldn't do any good now. This was the reason why I had to be here. I needed to help her.

Spell after infuriatingly delaying spell they came and I dodged them and I countered them with spells of my own. They became more and more vicious as I lost my patience. This wasn't a great time to pick a fight with Draco Malfoy. It was the time to turn in the opposite direction and run as fast as you can.

It seemed as if no matter how far or how long I ran, I wasn't getting any closer. I wasn't getting there fast enough. Her ear-splitting screams didn't just split delicate ear drums, they split his heart into so many little pieces that it was a wonder that it was still beating.

He realized that he was finally making progress, he was just a mere twelve feet away from her…when the most dreaded words raked through the air…

"Avada…"

My heart stopped. It couldn't end like this! I ran full speed ahead. I couldn't let it end like this. If Hermione died then I was dead as well. I had nothing other than her to live for. All the riches and luxuries in the world could never stand up against the pleasure of just seeing her alive and well. The only thing I treasure now is her, and this love that I feel for her that will never be reciprocated.

"Hermione!!!" I yelled. She turned to face me with fear in her eyes.

"Kedavra!!!"

I watched the fatal green light soaring through the air. I couldn't get there fast enough. In my last desperate attempt to save her, I pushed my feet off the ground and did the best that I could to topple toward Hermione. To push her away. To take the curse for her.

Then as I soared toward her teak-streaked face and I took in the soft brown eyes for the last time, the curve of her pink lips and the soft blush on her cheeks. I saw how her hair had tumbled out of it's knot and was now messily framing her beautiful face…the curse hit.

It was over.

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