Author - Nilu (Midnight breeze)

Story - Love Doesn't Always Have To Hurt

Summary – Gets a bit sad at the end, but at the beginning it's all about Draco and Harry being weird and all that crap. Draco loves Harry a lot, but does Harry know how he should react to Draco's passes? HP/DM

Disclaimer - I luv Harry and Draco, but I don't own them... sob All da credit 4 da characters and stuff goes to the amazing Ms. JKR, I only own the plot. my chicken huffs and mutters about it being his plot

Time – Beginning of Harry's sixth year.

WARNING this is SLASH (malemale) Don't like, don't read.

Just a few stuff here that I'd like to point out: Sirius isn't dead cuz it'll make Harry depressed and he doesn't seem like that at all in this fic, but all other stuff that happened in the Department of Mysteries actually did happen.

Guides: Thoughts will be written in /these/
Annoying voices in the head will be written in 'these'
And dreams will be written in these
 Stressed words will be written in these

A/N: Well, this is da first time I'm writing on ff.net, and when I read u guys' stuff, I really don't think I can match. But hopefully u'll like it, and if u do, then plz review!! And no flames plz or else I'll cry (believe me, u don't want 2 make me cry!) Constructive criticism is always welcome. I luv y'all and lots of pink flowers and fluffy chickens to u!! Read!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 1: Lost boy

Stupid Potter. Making me feel stupid. Damn him. Why does everything have to be so damn complicated? How I long for his touch. His lips on mine. To touch his wild silky black hair. To hold him in my arms and never let go... To protect him. To tell him that everything is alright... To look into those dreamy green eyes like the depths of a lake. To unravel the mysteries deep within. To wipe away the sorrow hidden inside... Draco sighed, watching Harry as he talked with Ron and Hermione. How beautiful he looked when the early morning light coming through the open oak front doors caught his hair...

Draco had started to get interested in Harry at the beginning of their 6th year at Hogwarts. He didn't get it at first. He didn't understand why he felt so weak and vulnerable when he saw Harry or just heard a mention of his name. He didn't understand what was happening, or how or why. He didn't understand until he looked straight into those wonderful green eyes. It just happened. And now he has to face it. He has to face it all alone.

Flashbacks

Yesterday had been a great day till Crabbe decided he should accidentally spill pumpkin juice all over him.He had cursed Crabbe and took his wand out, but controlled his temper and walkedaway towards the Slytherin Common room. There he had changed into new robes before his first class, which was Potions. He thought he'd better go straight to the class since there was only 5 minutes left. He was walking absent-mindedly when he bumped onto someone. The someone that he lived for. The someone he couldn't live without. His cold, icy-grey eyes had met Harry's green, deep ones, and locked for a few magical moments. His eyes had softened and Harry's had looked away, confused.

"Look where you're going scar-head." He had drawled, trying to keep things unsuspicious. /Damn! Do I always sound this stupid?/ He had asked himself. Harry had noticed the difference in Draco's voice. There had been a shake in it.

"Shut up Malfoy" Harry had said, deliberately sounding suspicious.

He had noticed this. He had felt weak when he looked atHarry's perfectly tanned hands and neck. He had suddenly found himself sweating. There was no way he was going to let Harry notice it. So he had quickly looked away and walked into the classroom just as the bell rang. Harry had followed him inside just as Ron and Hermione came up behind.

Harry had sat by his friends as usual, and he had sat with Crabbe and Goyle as usual. He had kept staring at Harry. Watching him as he sat down and took his book out. /Man he's so damn gorgeous!!/ He had thought. /His body is so flexible and graceful! Look at me now! I'm so clumsy and air-headed! Oh! Look at those rosy lips... Those green eyes... That beautiful body waiting to be explored...!/ He had sighed and that sound had made him suddenly jerk out of his daydreams. His eyes had widened and his body had gone tense and stiff. /What the fucking hell am I thinking about?!!! What the hell is wrong with me?! I must be really sick!! I need to go to the hospital wing!! Why was I looking at Potter?! And not only was I looking, I was fantasising too!!! What is wrong with me???!!/ He had gone completely rigid and had kept staring at Harry. This was the day he had found out that he was gay. But he hadn't accepted it all too willingly. Once he had calmed down, he had realized that he was still looking at Harry, which had been a bad thing by his measures then - but not anymore - and the next thing he realized had been worse; even now. He had seen Harry looking back at him with a confused and almost bemused expression. He had blinked and looked away, but that hadn't made Harry much less convinced that nothing was going on, which he had tried to do by looking away. He had looked back at those deep green eyes and had seen Harry looking weirdly at him as if he were insane. There had been a hint of confusion too, but it had been hidden behind concern of whether he had brain damage. /Oh my God! I hate myself soooooo damn bad!! Now he thinks I am mentally ill. Well, actually I think I am, I mean why else would I look at that stupid pot-head?!/ He had thought. They had been looking at each other even as these thoughts passed through his numb brain.

Ron and Hermione hadn't noticed that Harry wasn't listening to their argument concerning some stupid Jankuas; and he of course didn't know nor cared what they were. All his thoughts were once again focused on Harry. /They don't even know when their friend is not paying attention to them. Stupid Granger and Weasley!! If he would come with me, I could make his life easier. I would make sure that he gets all the attention he needs from me/ He had thought to himself as he looked into those green eyes. Suddenly he had realised what he was thinking about. Anger had raged through him. Anger, confusion and hatred. /What the hell was happening?! What the fuck is wrong with me?/

Just then Snape had come in, sparing his hair, because suddenly he had a strong urge to tear his sleek white-blond hair off his head in anger.

"Silence everyone! Silence!" Snape had said in a bored voice, though there had been really no reason to waste his breath because everyone had already gone silent.

Snape had looked around at everyone, and his eyes had come to rest upon Harry. He had given Harry his usual nasty sneer. /Why the hell does he always have to pick on Harry?/ Once again he had surged with anger at himself for what he had just thought. He had felt like tearing himself apart. This had been the first time he had called him Harry, instead of Potty or Pot-head; which had felt to him then assuring and perfectly proper. He had seethed with anger again. /NO! It's NOT proper!! You are his sworn enemy!! He's YOUR sworn enemy for God's sake!!/ he had screamed inside his head.

The class had proceeded on as usual to everyone but Harry and him. Harry kept throwing him confused and slightly concerned glances, and he had kept on stealing looks of unbearable hunger at Harry. And everytime he had looked at Harry this way, he had spilt out loads of curses on himself inside his head. He had felt this was getting way out of hand; which he still feels now. He still feels uncontrollable, unsupressable hunger for Harry everytime he looked at him.

After Potions, the day had gone by naturally, with him only thinking about Harry ten times, which now he felt too little a time, and which then felt like too much that he was going to explode. He had seen Harry only once more that day, as he had decided to skip lunch and dinner so as not to see him. Crabbe and Goyle brought food outside to the Entrance Hall where he had been during lunch and dinner, both times spending his quite time thinking about Harry which had frustrated him. But somehow, at dinner while in the Entrance Hall, he hadn't been that furious. He had felt like he was starting to understand something. And that feeling was clear when he got to bed that night.

He had lain awake staring at the ceiling with the emerald green drapes pulled around his bed. He had seen Harry's face swimming clearly in front of his eyes on a fine pool of moonlight streaming in through an open edge of the drapes. The green drapes around him reminded him of Harry and he had felt so protected by the greenness. He had heard Harry's voice as it talked and laughed. It had felt like a memory of beautiful things in the day of Spring now soon forgotten by many, for the darkness of the night now enveloped it on all sides. He had felt like the only one who could still see the shining star in the shapeless sky of blackness. He alone could see the light which was what he lived for. The shining star who was Harry.

A small voice in his head had said softly, without disturbing his wonderful vision of Spring, 'I guess you already know now, then. You love Harry Potter.' And to his surprise, he had taken it in without resistance, without fighting to hold back the truth. He had agreed with that small voice in his head that will be there with him when he was desperately trying to forget Harry, reminding him that love doesn't always have to hurt...

End of Flashbacks

The bell rang for their first lesson on their second day back at Hogwarts. Draco was still staring at Harry (A/N: He was staring at him since the flashbacks began) and when Harry turned around, he caught Draco's eye. Draco quickly blinked and looked away. Harry stared at him suspiciously for a few seconds, then walked away to his first class which was Herbology, with Ron and Hermione.

Draco turned towards the stairs with Crabbe and Goyle, as their first lesson was Transfiguration.

..........

(To be continued)

A/N : Me: I really tried my best so plz don't kill me!! runs away and whimpers away in a dark corner in Snape's dungeons while my chicken takes over

Chicken: Plz review!!(I'm only being joyful and using exclamation marks only because she threatened to cuddle me if I refused) And check back soon for updates!(for that pathetic-little-girl-who-call-herself-my-master's sake) Free disgusting-worm-candy 4 everybody!!! (she wanted me to say that cuz I really wouldn't have said anything that pathetic if she hadn't made me) So that's it and I'm going to bed. Goodnight to you all who actually bother to read her stories.

Me: Hey!! There may really be someone who loves me apart from you! smiles fondly at my chicken

Chicken: narrows eyes that always puts me under the impression that he's sleeping, and walks away grumpily

Luv,
oOo NILUoOo