This has to be the most random story idea that has ever popped into my head. I got the idea from, strangely, something I heard on VH1's Best Week Ever. It's dedicated to ole' Dumbledore because, honestly, I couldn't think of any other character to do this for. Hope you guys read, enjoy, and review! I know Dumbledore may seem a little OOC, but it was necessary.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Dumbledore's closet.
Out of the Closet
Professor McGonagall stood in front of the staff room. She reached for the door handle, then pulled her hand back. She repeated the action five times before giving up. Should she really tell them? Would she be betraying Dumbledore? Briefly, her mind pictured what she saw in the office and she shuddered. Those images would probably never leave her.
"I have to tell them," said the Professor to herself, "I need to help Albus." She finally gathered the courage to open the door of the staff room. Trelawney, Filch, Madam Hooch, Sprout, Fliwick, and Hagrid were in there either eating or reading the paper. They all looked up as McGonagall.
"What's wrong, Minerva?" asked Madam Hooch. She thought the other Professor looked shaken, a bit pale.
"It's Professor Dumbledore. He-He..." stammered McGonagall. She couldn't say it out loud.
"What happened," said Hagrid, instantly worried. It must be bad if McGonagall couldn't even say it. Finally, the words came rushing out of her though.
"He...He's locked himself in his bedroom closet and won't come out!"
Everyone in the room froze and stared at her. They were all at a lose for words, even Hagrid. The first one to speak was Sprout.
"Um, excuse me, but did you say he's locked himself in his closet. Why?," she said, sounding extremely, extremely confused. Who wouldn't. One of the world's best wizards locked himself in a closet.
"Well, I was going to his office to ask him something and when I went in I saw him and Snape doing some...things."
"What type of things?" asked Madam Hooch, a little afraid of the answer.
McGonagall closed her eyes, took a deep breath, opened her eyes, and then walked to the table. She quietly told them exactly what she had witnessed. The emotions ranged from shocked, a little disgusted, and frightened.
"He-you-that actually happened?!" said Hagrid. After all the years he had known Dumbledore, he never would have guessed.
"I would have never guessed Dumbledore and Snape would do things like that together, either. But from what I saw, this wasn't the first time and they were very experienced." said McGonagall. The images once again appeared in her head.
"You don't see Snape locking himself in a closet, though," said Madam Hooch.
"Actually...he locked himself in his dungeon and threatened to kill anyone who came to talk to him. That's not the problem, though. We all need to get together and get Dumbledore out of that closet," said McGonagall. She looked around the table and saw every avoiding her gaze. Apparently they weren't to thrilled with the idea.
"Maybe we should get Harry to talk to him," suggested Hagrid. McGonagall shook her head before explaining.
"I tried that. I told him what happened and had a slight panic attack and ran to his dorm. Weasley almost threw up and followed Potter. Granger said that I scarred them for life."
"I wouldn't be surprised, though. They are kids and they wouldn't understand this type of thing, yet," said Professor Sprout.
"Or would they..."
"Filch!"
"Just sayin'."
"Come on everyone. We have to go to Dumbledore's room." After a lot of convincing and pep talks McGonagall finally convinced everyone to come to come with her to Dumbledore's room. Everyone except Filch, who claimed he had "other things to do". (Yeah, Filch. You and your cat go take care of those other things together.) As soon as they got to the Headmaster's room they all turned their attention to the closet. Cautiously, they walked to the door. McGonagall glanced at the others before going to the closet and knocking on the door.
"Professor, are you alright? I brought the entire staff with me and we are really worried about you."
At first no sound came from the closet, but after a moment a muffled reply came.
"You...told them?"
"Umm...yes."
"How could you, Minerva! You betray me!"
"I had no other choice! You wouldn't listen to me! Listen, I-"
"You're dead to me, Minerva. Dead."
McGonagall sighed and hit her head against the door. She moved and desperately looked at the others. She motioned at the door, expecting someone else to get Closet Wizard out. Hagrid, the braze soul that he is, took the challenge.
"Erm...Professor (I'm gonna have Hagrid talk properly in this fanfiction. Go grammar!). It's nothing to be upset about. We don't think any different of you," he said, hoping his words sounded sincere enough.
"Don't lie to me, Hagrid."
"I'm not."
"Yes, you are. How can you not think differently after finding out the truth."
"It's okay. I don't think what you were doing was g-OW! What was that for, Minerva!" Hagrid rub his arm while glaring at the woman who punched him.
"Don't say that word. It will only upset him!" hissed McGonagall.
"Even though I'm in a closet I can still hear you know."
Hagrid gave up and stepped away from the door. Here comes the next contestant, Madam Hooch. She approached the door and knocked loudly.
"Headmaster?"
"What?"
"Come out of the closet."
"No."
"Stop being ridiculous and come out."
"No."
"Come out of the closet, dammit!"
"No! And you can't make me!"
"Fine, then! If you won't come out, I'm making you." She pulled out her wand and pointed it at the door. If Dumbledore wouldn't come out she would just blast the door open. When she fired the, though, the spell just rebounded against the door and made her go flying against the wall.
"Ha! I put a spell on this door and you will never make me come out!"
Madam Hooch, insulted, got up and stormed out of the room. Flitwick decided that he would use he awesome charmness to get the Headmaster out.
"I can understand why you would be embarrassed, Headmaster. None of us even suspected you. If you're embarrassed about what you and Snape were wearing-"
"McGonagall told you!? Well, she's not telling the truth! Everything she's ever told you your whole life is a lie! I was not wearing a pink tutu while-"
"We don't need anymore details, Headmaster. And you can't deny what McGonagall saw. You can't stay in that closet of yours forever."
"I can and I will!"
Flitwick decided he didn't feel like wasting his awesome charmness on a stubborn wizard so he gave up. Up next? Why the one and only Trelawney! She will use her awesome vision...ness to get to the beloved headmaster out. She dramatically walked up to the closet door and then continued to speak in a dramatic, cryptic voice.
"Don't deny what is true, Albus. I had a vision of this you know."
"Of course you did." (Dumbledore can be sarcastic.)
"I saw this coming to pass. I've seen it all you know."
"Oh, really now?"
"I once locked myself in a closet. A dark, never-ending closet that was hidden in the darkest parts of darkness. A deep abyss of abyssness."
"Oh. That's nice..."
"Yes, but I came out and now I'm very happy. Never been happier."
"Er...okay. Can you please get away from my door? You're frightening me."
"I just have one more thing to say, Albus?"
"What?"
"Your brother said he would like to join you and Snape next time."
"..."
"Albus?"
"..."
Nobody knew that inside the closet Dumbledore was twitching uncontrollably.
All the professors were about to give up before the amazing Sprout came up to plate. Yes, whenever there has been trouble in Hogwarts she has always been there to stop it with her...gardening.
"Albus. You need to come out of the closet," she said in a sweet voice.
"No. I'm perfectly happy here with my long, flowing robes and pointy hats."
"That may be true, but you can't live like this. You are lying to yourself and others. If what Minerva saw is what you really like then we will not judge the lifestyle you would like to live."
"Really? Is this some sort of trick?"
"No."
"Fine, I'll come out. But if anyone says a thing I'm coming back in here and denying everythig."
At minute passed before the closet door slowly and out stepped the not crazy Headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus something Dumbledore. He took a few steps out before glaring at all the professors, like they were the ones who locked him in the closet.
"So you all really have no problem with it?" he said.
McGonagall, the ever sympathetic, walked up and put her hand on Dumbledore's shoulder.
"Albus, we don't care if you and Snape like to ballet dance together. Just make sure I don't walk in next time."
Were any of you expecting that ending? You all thought I was going to have them doing other things in that office didn't you?
Did everyone get the "out-of-the-closet" references? I thought that since J.K. finally let him out that I had to make him the character trapped in there. I'm sorry if this fic was too short, but I was running out of closet references. I guess from this story I seem very sarcastic.
If anyone is at the screen and thinking "WTF?", trust me, I would, too.
To everyone who liked it, please review. And tell me if I should make a companion fic on Harry, Ron, and Hermione's reactions when they found out.