Title: A Mother's Strength

Rating: G

Characters: Sachiko Yagami, Light Yagami

Genre: Angst
Summary: An AU story where Sochiro Yagami was not present in Light's life. Is he still just as strong as he would have been with a father?

September 12, 1993

"Mommy...why is daddy leaving?"

It was the question no woman of any age wished to hear from the tiny mouth of her very small son, with his wide cinnamon eyes and messy auburn hair. His clothing had sand and grass on them...he'd just finished playing in the sandbox. Sachiko watched her husband waspishly before turning slightly dewy eyes to her son, so young and so small. His eyes watched her before sliding back to his father until they reentered her gaze questioningly.

"Mommy...?" He asked again, and she placed her hands on her sons fragile shoulders – he'd always been so sick, so delicate as a infant. She'd almost lost him twice because of health issues. Backed up with debts, her fragile heart could no longer take her husbands standoffish view to the problems involving their son. Her daughter, Sayu, slept so soundly through this while the door opened behind Sachiko.

"..Daddy is...daddy is going on a trip, honey..." She bit her lip, hating herself powerfully for so easily lying to her child. Her sweet little boy, with his sunshine-smell and his sparkling eyes. "Daddy is going out of town, for...for awhile." She told him, brushing her trembling fingers through his hair lightly, as if trying to calm him though she was trying to calm herself more.

"Well..well how long is daddy going to be gone? I have a football match tomorrow! He promised he'd come and watch me!" His eyes lit up at such a prospect...Daddy cheering him on, standing in the outside bleachers with pride radiating off him like blanket-heavy waves. Sachiko could hardly suppress a sob at such innocent happiness in her child's voice.

"Daddy...won't be back for a very long time, Light..." She said in a weak voice, and her son's curious eyes almost killed her. He looked so confident all of a sudden, crossing his arms against his small chest. Light looked stricken for a second or too before he regained his composure "Mommy, he promised..." He said quietly before perking up suddenly with the enthusiasm only a 6 year old could attain.

"Well, he'll be back though. Daddy always come back. He wouldn't just go away...he loves us to much." He said then gave his mother a dazzling smile, proud of himself for sounding so grown up...Sachiko's heart broke in a million un-mendable pieces, collapsing to her knees to cry into her son's tiny shoulder. Little Light was so confused as his mother clutched at him, shaking his diminutive form with the force of her sobs.

"Don't worry, mommy...I'll be strong. You gotta be strong too!"

11 years later

"...Did you ever stay strong, mom?" It was the sound of her son's voice that startled her from her morning reverie. She looked up from her coffee, staring at her sleep disheveled son, almost boggled by the lackluster appearance had on him this morning. Normally he was so groomed before he came downstairs – it was naturally a shock to see him in his rumpled pajamas with his hair sticking out everywhere. Dark caramel eyes regarded her with curiosity and only a little contempt, and she felt her heart tense.

"W...what? Light-kun...what are you talking about?" She asked, guardedly as her son pulled out a chair in front of her, interlocking his fingers before leaning over them a little. He looked so...broken? Beaten down perhaps...how? He was only still a child. But he sound so old...so very, very old.

"...I suppose, really...I couldn't be as strong as you possibly are. Eleven years of solitude and a broken heart...I would have gone bat shit insane-" He blushed a little at the heated stare from his mother, "Sorry, mom..um...I would have gone absolutely crazy, if I were in your shoes. You're...you're so much stronger than I ever was..." He looked at her, after taking a soft but shuddering breath. "I...I never did handle it well, did I...?" His voice was sadly amused.

His screams could be heard across the neighborhood. 13 years old and a grudge against his mother. He hated her, oh how he hated her, and he let her know every second of every day with his hateful stares and crass words against her.

'You drove dad away. I hope you're happy. Don't be surprised when I run away from you too.' Oh the acid he'd spat at her, and she'd sat there and absorbed every single venomous word that spilled from his lips. He vowed he would be better than his mother. Perfect. He would be perfect.

"And you are..." Came Sachiko's voice, touching her sons hand. "You are the most perfect boy a mother could ask for..." She said smiling at him with that ever present world-weariness. "You're respectful and kind..." Light's smile was tense, not reaching his eyes. If she only knew...if she knew about that tempting little black journal hidden safely in his drawer...she would realize how imperfect her boy was. And her world would come crashing down around her feet, once again.

"Thanks, mom...really." He caught her hand and squeezed it. "Stay strong alright?" She looked at him startled, watching as his face brightened from the ever present darkness that seemed to take over his expressions. "You know...like I said when I was little...dad'll come back. He'll see to his senses, and come back to us, then we'll be perfect together. All of us." His voice trembled, broke but buoyed back from the turbulent sea of emotions it had been sinking into, leveling out. Sachiko watched the tears pricking her son's handsome eyes as he stood up with a smile that would make angel's cry.

"He'll be back...because...because you promised." He said, looking at her with failing inner strength. "He...you promised he would...come back. And...and I know he'll come to his senses, and apologize for leaving us. I know it. I know." Sachiko was moving quickly enough towards her son as she watched his face crumbled and his body collapsed into his mother's tight embrace, her small hands on his broad shoulders with her nose in his silken hair as she listened to the distressed sobbing-whimpers that fell from her son's rebelling throat. Light Yagami never cried, never shed a tear...but perhaps, in this quiet moment between mother and son, he had found the strength in his mother to finally let go.