Hitokiri of the Bloodless Moon: Hay all. Sorry for this...fic. I got the idea yesterday and so I just needed to write it. I promised Bloody Akiko that I would write it yesterday, but I didn't, I just felt very lazy. Anyway, please review. and since this was partly her idea, she is posting this on her login.
Disclaimer: I do not own RK. But...and I don't own this plot....or a plot-less fic...this belongs to Bloody Akiko Nagi the Insane.
It just happened to be a beautiful summer day in Tokyo. The blue birds hopped along the roof top of the main house of the Kamiya Dojo while singing their morning songs. Finch birds flew threw the air catching moths at a top speed and butterfly's sailed from one nectar sweet flower to the next.
But, what none of these creatures noticed, were the five bodies laying in various places and positions on the floor. That though, did not go un noticed by the two teens who walked into the Dojo yard.
"Oi! What happened here?" one said, she had dark hair that was shoulder length and bright blue eyes, she was Akiko.
"How am I supposed to know?" the other asked, she had cropped red hair and emerald eyes, she was Hitokiri.
"Look's like someone beat the hell outta them," Akiko said as she shook her head.
"Oro? Where's Kenshin?" Hitokiri asked as she looked around the dojo yard. They heard a singing from the kitchen; they crept up silently to the door that led to the kitchen. "SHE THINKS MY TRACTOR'S SEXY! IT REALLY TURNS HER ON!" Kenshin was singing as he cooked some rice and chopped up veggies. The two girls looked at each other and then back at Kenshin, who had started his song over again. "PLOWIN' THESE FIELDS IN THE HOT SUMMER SUN, OVER BY THE FENCE, LORDY HERE SHE COMES, WITH A BASKET FULL OF CHICKEN AND A COLD JUG OF COLD SWEET TEA!" "SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO REALLY UNDERSTAND'S WHAT GETS ME, SHE THINKS MY TRACOR'S SEXY!" Kenshin sang.
The girls then started to giggle.
"I didn't know you liked that song, are you drunk or somethin'?" Akiko asked.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&FLASHBACK&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Hiko took a swig from the jar of sake at his side; in fact, he always had a jar of sake. BY him sat, Aoshi Shinamori, Seta Soujiro, Enishi Yukishiro and the 'Rooster-head' Sanosuke Sagara. Kenshin was buisy in the kitchen, like always, and the five men were sitting on the porch. No one talked for a while; it was a peaceful evening that the Kamiya Dojo did not get all the time.
Hiko smiled a little as he thought about the way he had initially gotten here. It was all because the women of the Kenshin-gumi had taken a little trip to Hokkaido, so they would be gone for a while. Soujiro had wondered in with Enishi, and Aoshi had come here because Misao was trying to get him to marry her. He just wanted some time to think about it. And Sanosuke, well...he always hung out with Kenshin so who could tell what he was really there for?
"Where is the food?" Sano asked, that was when Kenshin popped out of the kitchen with some rice and other things; and plenty of sake. Kenshin served everyone before himself and the dinner went on peacefully with occasional insults form Enishi. Soujiro smiled like always and Sano tried to get seconds. Which Kenshin happily let him have.
It was while Kenshin was back in the kitchen cleaning dishes that he got an...idea...of sorts. It was while he was listening to the conversation that his guests were having.
"Tell me Soujiro, can you hold your drink?" Hiko asked, always the one to know such things about others.
"Well, I don't know, I've never tried," Soujiro replied cutely. Kenshin shook his head, he remembered the time he had told that to Hiko...Kenshin shook his head. That was a story for another time and place.
Enishi rolled his eyes, "Gives a whole new meaning to 'Drunk Master',"
(Hitokiri of the bloodless Moon: what do you expect? Hiko is kinda of...into himself!) Enishi rolled his eyes again, and Aoshi just ignored them all.
Kenshin smiled to himself, his idea had just taken on a form that he was surprised at, he desperately wanted to try it out. Kenshin walked over to the cupboard and pulled out many jugs of sake. He smiled evilly at himself and then walked (innocently, I might add) out to the porch where the men were currently sitting.
"Hay Kenshin, more sake!" Sano said asked as he jumped up to relieve Kenshin of some of his burden. Kenshin smiled his 'Rurouni smile' as he sat down.
"Sessha thought that we should relax, that he did," Kenshin replied.
Sano smiled at Hiko, "How much you wanna bet that I can out drink ya?"
Hiko smiled back, "How much are you willing to pay?"
Kenshin shook his head, his plan was coming together greatly, now he had to get the other three into it.
"Enishi, would you like some?" Kenshin asked. Enishi looked at his brother-in-law like he had gone crazy, but accepted the offered sake. It didn't take long for Seat Soujiro to have some and Aoshi hesitantly agreed.
"Well, that is very...musical," Soujiro said, still smiling.'Something tells me that this wasn't at all a good idea' Kenshin thought miserably.'I wonder when I can kill that roster-head and roast him' Enishi cringed.'I wonder when I can get away to meditate' Aoshi thought as he fingered his kidachi, wondering if he could knock out Hiko and Sano long enough for him to get away.
Then, in the middle of a verse, Sano dropped dead, well not dead exactly, but he had fallen over and was now unconscious. Hiko roared with laughter and glee, and then he dropped cold too. Kenshin and the others gratefully took their hands from their ears.
"What the hell was that?" Enishi scowled."A flying monkey?" Soujiro asked helpfully."I think it is a favorite song of Hitokiri of the Bloodless Moon- dono's," Kenshin replied."Have some more?" Kenshin asked as he held sake out to the other three."How much have you had?" Enishi asked."About four sessha thinks," Kenshin replied."I bet you can't drink me!" Enishi encouraged."All right, Sessha will accept your challenge," Kenshin replied.
Enishi and Kenshin then raced to drink as many mini jugs of sake as they could: all the while insulting each other. Soujiro cheered on Enishi while Aoshi watched silently. It was the thirtieth jug of sake.
"May the, hiccup, luckiest man win," Enishi drawled slowly. Kenshin nodded while hiding his evil smirk. Enishi and Kenshin drained their cups at the same time, then, Enishi fell over and was out cold.
'Only two left' Kenshin thought evilly to himself.
"Soujiro, Sessha will teach you how to drink if you like," Kenshin said to the brown haired boy. Soujiro thought about it for a moment before nodding his head, something weird was going on, he knew, but, he wanted to drink like Kenshin.
(HOTBM: Really, who would not want to drink like Kenshin?)
It didn't take long for Soujiro to become drunk. After a shortened version of a drinking game with Kenshin, the boy was hopping around like a bird...or stork...or whatever it was he said he was.
"Look at, hiccup, me!" Soujiro laughed as he pretended to fly.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&THE END&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Hitokiri of the Bloodless Moon: Okay, yeah, that was stupid, but, I wanted to make Kenshin a little evil. Besides, I have read a couple of fics where Kenshin can't even hold his sake. So, in this fic I made it so that Kenshin could drink and not get to drunk at the same time. Either way, please review.
Note: the song that was used in this is called 'She thinks my Tractor's Sexy' by Kenny Chesney.