The Marriage of Nerissa and Phobos
"And you said I had no VISION! You just ran around your home planet blowing shit up!"
"What good is ultra power if you can't have a little fun?"
"It's no good at all!"
"Says you who has four preteen girls as sidekicks! I have a giant snake!"
"Excuse me? We are in our early twenties you asshole! How old are you? Forty?"
"I AM TWENTY THREE!"
"HA! I'm twenty TWO!"
It had been four hours since the fall of Meridian. In a weird twist of fate, the Seal of Nerissa/Scepter of Phobos had cracked open during the fighting releasing those captive inside of it. Suddenly, Phobos had a rival for the conquest of meridian. Kadma was able to separate the Heart of Meridian from the Heart of Zambala since she was its rightful owner. Only to have Nerissa steal it back, however, to settle her personal score with Phobos and regain her full power.
"You actually felt BAD for killing that stupid redhead? What kind of super villain are you? I've killed hundreds of civilians and do you see me regretting it? NO!"
"What I SEE you doing is sitting all prissily on your stupid throne so you won't sweat out your hair gel"
"I DO NOT wear hair gel!"
"Just like you don't bleach your hair?"
"I DO NOT BLEACH MY HAIR!"
"You expect me to believe it's that color on ITS OWN?"
"Actually…" Elyon piped up from her bubble.
"SHUT UP!" they both shouted at her simultaneously.
"Dickheads" Elyon grumbled leaning back against the wall of her bubble. Nerissa had imprisoned half of the fighting forces using her Heart's power while Phobos imprisoned the other half. Of the actually important people, Phobos held the four ex-Guardians, Will, Matt, Julian and Caleb while Nerissa held the real Yan Lin, Elyon, Cedric, Miranda and I.T.C.H.
Holding equal ransoms for one another, having Hearts with equal power and each wanting both those Hearts just as much as the other had kind of brought a lull to the battle. After an hour or so of just attacking each other which proved unsuccessful because of the balanced power, they had reverted to standing ten feet away from one another and shouting insults until they could think of a better plan.
Three hours later…
"So what if you've been stuck in some rat-ass mountain for ninety years, I—"
"It was FIFTY years!" she corrected.
"Who the hell cares?! I WASN'T EVEN BORN!"
"Good thing too! Then I would've had to deal with your ASS UGLY FACE for all that time!"
"Oh yeah? Well…" It dawned on Phobos that he didn't have a decent witty comeback. He'd used almost all of them in the last five hours. "WELL YOU'RE STUPID!"
"I've got a question" Hay Lin commented to Aldarn, Drake and Elyon, the other occupants of her bubble. "Are they going to rip each others heads off or rip each others clothes off because at the time being, I really just can't tell"
"I know" Elyon seconded. "I mean, Caleb and Cornelia fight just as much and just as tacky. You can't tell if they love or loathe each other"
"Are you kidding me?" Cornelia retorted, floating in a bubble nearby containing Yan Lin and some Lurdens. "Even I come up with better comebacks than this"
"I'M STUPID? YOU'RE UGLY!"
"YOU SUCK!"
"BASTARD!"
"BITCH!"
"DICK!"
"TRAMP!"
"YOUR MOTHER WAS THE SIZE OF A WHALE!" Nerissa's voice broke as she shouted.
Hay Lin clamped her hand over Elyon's pissed off mouth before she could say anything much to the amusement of Aldarn and Drake.
"MY MOTHER IS DEAD! YOUR MOTHER DIS-OWNED YOU!"
"MY MOTHER IS DEAD TOO! YOUR MOTHER DIS-INHERITED YOU!"
"WELL YOU'RE STUPID!"
"YOU SAID THAT ALREADY, JACKASS!"
"I CAN SAY IT AGAIN IF I WANT TO! I CAN DO WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT! I—"
Then, out of the complete and total randomness of nowhere, Nerissa filled the ten foot gap between then in one swoop and kissed Phobos. Dazed a bit at first, Phobos kissed her back.
"…my…god….are….they…?" The words wouldn't come out of Will's mouth. Julian's jaw was unhinged in such a way, that he wasn't sure he'd be able to close it ever again. Matt covered Mr. Huggles eyes and basically everyone stopped what they were doing to watch the weirdest sight in the world. The only one that seemed un-phased was Irma and only her bubble companion Taranee caught it with her telepathy.
"IRMA!"
"They're shouting was starting to give me a migraine" she responded with a shrug. "So I suggested they shut up for a bit"
"Well I suggest you un-suggest it now" Cassidy demanded, snapping her fingers in front of Caleb's face. "I think Caleb's fallen into a coma"
Thought it was a good place to end it. I've read it over maybe fifty times and I laugh my ass off every single time. :)