Chapter 1: Barbie dot COM, First Ask Dad or Mom
Written by: Kawaii-babi
Edited by: A magical unicorn
Disclaimer: Don't own CSI: NY or anything in relation to it. I also don't own I did though… HAHA HAHA… not funny… ok ok… umm… in this fic, Danny and Lindsay ARE MARRIED and have a kid, so yeah. Evangeline is a figment of my imagination. Oh and I am writing this with an injured finger… so let's time this… right now its 9:13 pm….
A young girl, around 4 years old, with dirty blonde pigtails and electric blue eyes named Evangeline sat in the break room of New York's crime lab, watching Teletoon, more specifically, Gerald McBoingBoing, (BEST SHOW EVER!) when all of a sudden, a commercial popped up. More specifically, a Barbie commercial.
"… Barbie dot COM, first ask dad or mom. Please ask your parents before going online." The commercial said. Evangeline popped out of her seat and ran out of the room looking for her parents. Unfortunately, being the little kid that she is, she ran a little too fast and rammed into Stella, who had a cup of steaming hot coffee and a white t-shirt.
"OWW! That burns! OWW! Oh, hi Eva… umm… what made you run into me sweetie?" Stella said as calmly as she could, without cussing. Evangeline just looked up and pondered for a second, and then she remembered.
"Hi auntie Stella! I'm looking for my mommy an' daddy 'cause there's this thingy on the flashy picture thing about this thingy called 'Barbie dot com' an' I wanna go on 'cause I like Barbies but I need my mommy an' daddy's permission an' I can't find them anywhere, do you know where they are?" Evangeline asked then smiled up at Stella. Stella just looked down at the little girl trying to understand what she said.
"Umm… no Eva, I haven't. Have you checked their office? Maybe they're in there. You want me to walk with you? I'm going in that direction anyway. I need to get a new shirt before the guys start gawking." Stella said angrily. Evangeline just raised her hand.
"OOO! OOO! What does 'Guw-king' mean?" Evangeline asked curiously, making Stella laugh.
"First, babe, it's pronounced 'gaw-king' and secondly, it means to stare and sometimes drool." Stella said, trying to make the definition as simple as possible. Evangeline raised her hand again.
"OOO! OOO! My daddy 'gawks' at my mommy when she wears her black undies but I don't know why. When my daddy helps me get dressed he doesn't 'gawk' at me." She said as innocently as possible. Stella just laughed and they walked down the hall together. They got to Danny and Lindsay's office and walked in, but they weren't there. Evangeline's smile faded quickly. Stella noticed this, so she bent down to Evangeline's level and hugged her.
"Hey babe, it's all right. You can come to my office and I'll change my shirt and you can go on my computer, and we're going to call your parents and get their permission for you to go on that site that you wanted, ok?" Stella suggested. Evangeline dashed put of the room to Stella's office, making Stella laugh hard. Suddenly, her pager went off.
"SHIT! I am SO not in the mood right now. Eva, sweetie! I gotta go somewhere. Why don't you go find uncle Sid? I'm sure he'd LOVE to show you how to cut a person open. At this, Evangeline dashed to the elevator and pressed the 'down' button.
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"Hi uncle Sid! Hi! Hi! HI!" Evangeline exclaimed as she got out of the elevator. Sid looked up from the body that he was examining and smiled.
"Why hello princess! I was wondering when I would get to see your lovely face around here again! It gets quite lonely just having dead bodies around here…" Sid said, trying to sound sad. Evangeline just grabbed a chair out of nowhere and stood up on it.
"My face isn't lovely, it's gor-eh-geous! And you're not lonely. Doesn't everyone else come to see you at some point during the day? And dead bodies are cool!" Evangeline exclaimed, taking the scalpel from Sid's hands. Sid gave a hearty laugh.
"Oh so you want to help?" Sid asked. Evangeline nodded. "And Danny wanted a son…" Sid said under his breath. Evangeline looked at him quizzically.
"Who's Danny?" She asked, fiddling with the scalpel. Sid noticed this and quickly took it away from her.
"Oh that's your daddy's first name. But you wouldn't know that, because all you hear all day is 'dad', 'daddy' or 'detective Messer'." Sid explained. Evangeline just nodded.
"Can we cut this body open now?" Evangeline asked. Sid looked at her.
"Now I KNOW you didn't just come down here to help me cut open a body, right?" Sid asked. Evangeline just looked down.
"Uh-uh! I'm looking for my mommy an' daddy 'cause there's this thingy on the flashy picture thing about this thingy called 'Barbie dot com' an' I wanna go on 'cause I like Barbies but I need my mommy an' daddy's permission an' I can't find them anywhere, do you know where they are?" Evangeline asked again. Sid just laughed.
"You know what? I haven't seen them. But the commercial is basically asking for you to ask an adult and I have a laptop somewhere around here, so you can first help me with this body, then I'll find the laptop, and we can BOTH go on the site together. Is that okay with you?" Sid asked playfully. Evangeline then grabbed the scalpel and smiled.
"Let's cut this dude open!" Evangeline exclaimed. Suddenly, Hawkes walked in to the room, wanting to talk to Sid, but stopped dead in his tracks.
"Hammerback, you're not supposed to let her use your tools! Did you forget what Danny tried to do last time you did?" Hawkes exclaimed. Evangeline ran to Hawkes and hugged the bajeebers out of him.
"Uncle Shelly! I'm looking for my mommy an' daddy 'cause there's this thingy on the flashy picture thing about this thingy called 'Barbie dot com' an' I wanna go on 'cause I like Barbies but I need my mommy an' daddy's permission an' I can't find them anywhere, do you know where they are?" She said again. Hawkes then looked at Sid, who mouthed back 'Uncle Shelly?' then started to laugh silently. Hawkes just glared at him and turned his attention to the little girl attached to his leg.
"No, Line, I don't know where they are. But your mom called a few minutes ago. She sends her love and says 'Don't forget to eat!' Do you want a sandwich? I got a ham and cheese with mayo in the fridge." At this, she jumped onto his back.
"I'll take that as a yes." Hawkes said, getting into the elevator with the little girl on his back.
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"Danny! Hurry up! She's probably worried sick!" Lindsay exclaimed, urging her husband to go faster.
"Chillax Montana! She's going to be fine! She has Stella, Hawkes, Sid and Flack there, and they all love her." Danny said, trying to calm his wife down.
"I sure hope so." Lindsay said, relaxing into the seat and falling asleep,
leaving Danny to think. (Wow, so rare)
I hope she's not driving everyone mad…
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"UNCLE FLACK! I'm looking for my mommy an' daddy 'cause there's this thingy on the flashy picture thing about this thingy called 'Barbie dot com' an' I wanna go on 'cause I like Barbies but I need my mommy an' daddy's permission an' I can't find them anywhere, do you know where they are?" Evangeline asked. Flack just stood there.
"What the fuck is 'Barbie dot COM'?" Flack said, then instantly regretted it.
"NO! FORGET I SAID THAT!" Flack yelled, but it was too late.
"FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK…" Evangeline yelled. Suddenly, Lindsay and Danny walked into the lobby and stopped dead in their tracks and watched the sight before them. There was their 4-year-old daughter, swearing, and Flack, looking like he said something wrong. Danny's blood started to boil.
"FLACK! I'M GONNA MURDER YOU!" Danny yelled as he lunged for Flack, but Lindsay stopped him before he could do anything.
"DANNY! I do not want my daughter learning how to swear AND kill in one day! Sweetie, could you please erase that word from your memory?" Lindsay asked her daughter. Evangeline nodded and smiled.
"Mommy! There's this thingy on the flashy picture thing about this thingy called 'Barbie dot com' an' I wanna go on 'cause I like Barbies, but I need your permission to go on, 'cause the commercial said 'Barbie dot COM, first ask dad or mom.' CAN I GO ON BARBIE DOT COM?" Evangeline asked. Lindsay just smiled.
"Sure sweetie, let me just get my computer booted." Lindsay said. As soon as she finished the sentence, the power went out.
"FUCK!" Flack yelled, then instantly regretted it…
Yay! I'm finished chapter 1! It is now 11:34 pm… wow… 2 hours and 21 minutes…lol! REVIEW!