Haymitch Abernathy - District 12 - Victor of the 50th Games

Eleven months it has been now since I was lifted from a land of rolling green hills and sparkling brooks, and even longer since I last laid eyes on the girl who, albeit somewhat unwillingly, followed me to the edge of the world. Nearly a year it has been, but the fear has not left me. Each time I dare to shut my eyes for even a moment, it abounds tenfold, clawing at me with icy fingers, searing images I have tried hard to forget on the back of my eyelids.

Maysilee Donner, splayed on her back in a grassy field, screaming in pain as a flock of sickly pink birds dig into the mangled flesh that was once her stomach. My intestines, nearly spilling out from between my fingers, pain wracking my abdomen. The girl from District One, an axe buried deep in her head.

Only two weeks after I won, President Snow himself came to dine at my house in Victor's Village, which I shared with my mother and my little brother. I was more than a little suspicious, of course, but I could not refuse to host him. To my relief, the night passed without incident.

It wasn't until the next morning that I learned why he had journeyed to District Twelve.

When I awoke, I found my younger brother bedridden with a terrible cough and a fever of 104 degrees. My mother wasn't much better. I knew instantly that it was my fault, that President Snow was punishing me for my inadvertent stunt with the force field two weeks before. I knew it would not matter what I did. Whether or not I tried to heal them, if President Snow wanted them to die, they would die. It is the worst feeling in the world, knowing that you are the cause of a loved one's suffering, and knowing that there is nothing you can do but wait.

Still I tried to heal them. I summoned the district's doctor, but none of the medicine he provided had any effect on either of them. All I could do was feed them broth and sit by their bedsides, assuring them that they would be fine.

My brother died first. Twelve years and three days into his life, he fell into a labored sleep and did not awaken. I buried him alone, as by that point Mother was too weak to leave her bed for even a minute. The next morning, she was gone, too.

Their faces will haunt me forever. My mother, my brother, Maysilee, and each of the forty-seven children who entered the arena with me twelve months ago and never made it out. They will haunt me forever, every night for the rest of my life. I will never escape them.

Fifty years it has been. Fifty years now the districts have paid dearly for the struggles of their ancestors. The blood of yesterday has left a stain that will stay with us forever.

A knock at the door startles me. My hand goes instinctively to the knife I now keep strapped to my belt wherever I go. And then I remember: it's reaping day.

"Haymitch!" a high, familiar voice calls from the doorway. "It's Lucia! It's twelve-thirty on the dot! You haven't forgotten, have you?" Two more voices chime in with identical greetings.

I groan, not caring if the trio of Capitolites hears me. "I'm coming!" I call back, slowly getting to my feet and weaving through the expanse of hallways leading to the front door.

When I reach the door I pause, knowing that when I open it I will be assaulted by a barrage of Capitol chatter and whisked off to be dressed up for the reaping in an hour and a half. I can only delay the inevitable, though.

I unlock the door, and Lucia immediately pushes her way in, landing a messy kiss on my cheek and throwing her arm around me. I jerk backwards, my hand going to my cheek, which now bears a sticky blotch of Lucia's lipstick. The other Capitolites follow her inside, each luckily staying away from my now marred face.

Lucia is already chattering. "Oh, Haymitch, it's been so long! Did you miss us?" She flashes me a wide grin, revealing two rows of purple stained teeth, each bearing a different golden design.

"No."

Lucia just clucks her tongue disapprovingly. "Well, we'll be making up for all the lost time in the next few weeks. It's Games season! Aren't you excited?"

"No."

She pulls me into a room just off of the main hallway. Inside is a plain cherrywood desk and a wide mirror. I have not been inside in eleven months. Mother used to use it as a dressing room, and my brother did his homework here. I stumble backwards as we reach the threshold. This room bears too many memories.

Lucia grabs my arm impatiently. "Oh, come inside, Haymitch."

"I can't," I insist, tearing my arm from her grip. "Find somewhere else. Not here. I can't."

The Capitolite sighs. "And I suppose you have another room with a mirror of this size?" When I don't respond, she says, "Exactly." She grabs my arm again and propels me inside.

This chair has not been sat in since the day before my brother sickened eleven months ago. I remember the day as if it was yesterday. He had been irritated that on his twelfth birthday he was required to complete his homework. He had locked himself in this room, not coming out until the President arrived for dinner.

Behind me, Lucia lets out a small cry of indignation. She rubs the sole of her foot, wincing. My eyes glide to the floor, where a solitary pencil lies, the red one with the gray gripper that was my brother's favorite. Lying in the corner, as if thrown there in a fit of rage, is a narrow black binder.

My fists clench, all of my muscles stiffening. So many faces. So many memories. I can't do this. I can't.

I jump from the chair and hasten out of the room, running up the stairs three at a time. I slide into the closet of my room and dig my overgrown fingernails into my palms. The pain distracts me, and for a moment the faces fade. I breathe deeply, calming myself down.

And then they begin knocking at my door, asking me if I am all right, and I remember the reaping. Today two children will be chosen for the Games. It will be my responsibility to see one of them out alive. To replace their death with a lifetime of memories and nightmares.

Perhaps it will be better if they die. I do not want a child to go through what I go through, to be reminded night and day of the blood on their hands. There can be no winning the Games. Some survive, but there are no winners.

"Haymitch!" Lucia calls again from the door, now sounding more than a little irritated.

I cannot hide here forever. I take a deep breath, steel myself, and walk out into the waiting hands of the prep team.

Tributes:

District 1 Female: Chitrali Menison, 15 (Emi the Dark Kitten Prince)

District 1 Male: Thorin Arvin, 18 (threelittlemockingjays)

District 2 Female: Soma Grise, 16 (SPACE MAN OH SPACE MAN)

District 2 Male: Maxon Stark, 15 (FalknerBlue)

District 3 Female: Aria Kovaćić, 17 (IronManRidingaNimbus)

District 3 Male: Finian 'Finn' Lockhart, 15 (silentwolf111)

District 4 Female: Ember Wade, 17 (JGrayzz)

District 4 Male: Mateo Corrigan, 14 (bearclaw1212)

District 5 Female: Marina Dangora, 16 (candy95)

District 5 Male: Luthen Mire, 12 (SlightlyBlackSheep)

District 6 Female: Blaesa Sparc, 15 (xPoptartsx)

District 6 Male: Jackson Ford, 14 (DaughterofApollo7)

District 7 Female: Acacia Aspén, 18 (JoshEm)

District 7 Male: Levi Dornan, 17 (Remus98)

District 8 Female: Terrance "Terra" Rusk, 18 (Perksofbeingminho)

District 8 Male: Ralin Adano, 17 (JoshEm)

District 9 Female: Arable Tillage, 14 (Vhagor)

District 9 Male: Donny Ichor, 16 (grimbutnotalways)

District 10 Female: Channas Grayline, 16 (SlightlyBlackSheep)

District 10 Male: Jayke Rodriguez, 17 (sillymoose13)

District 11 Female: Sparrow Greene, 14 (Megan Hermione Lovegood)

District 11 Male: Birch McGrove, 12 (Perksofbeingminho)

District 12 Female: Faith Harbourough, 17 (TheOnlyPotato)

District 12 Male: Alai Corinth, 13 (threelittlemockingjays)

Hey, all. This is my third SYOT. If you haven't already, check out my last one, Blood on Stone. We started out with 96 tributes between 5 and 18, and now we're down to five.

Anyways, the form is on my profile. Submissions are open until 12:00 noon EST on Friday, March 13th. You can submit as many tributes as you'd like, but most likely I won't accept more than one per submitter. Please be as detailed as you can, especially in the personality section.

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Please submit!