An Angel's Freedom A/N: I saw Frozen last weekend and when I heard "Let it Go", I instantly downloaded it and then decided to write a small fic about it. I really think Tifa would suit this song, except I put my own twist to her story. I had a bit of a writer's block when it came to the Fantasy Games so I decided to write this instead but I will be uploading another chapter to the other story soon.
I had to take out the lyrics because of copyright issues but the song inspired this fanfic.
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VII or the song 'Let It Go'.
It was well into the Winter season as the city of Midgar was covered in a thick blanket of snow. Barely anyone dared to brave the cold as there wasn't a stranger walking in the freezing night. Small shadows in the shape of dots floated over the huge layer of snow that covered the ground as the snowflakes floated towards it. The snow hadn't been cleared off the road yet so no cars could access the area around Seventh Heaven.
Tifa stared out the window of Seventh Heaven with a tired expression gracing her features as she dried a glass that hadn't been wet in the first place. She needed something to keep herself busy seeing as she had no customers because of the snow. The kids had been staying with Barrett for the week so she had no one to talk to or care for. Normally, her customers would keep her company, telling her about their problems in their drunken state and asking random questions about her life. Some tried to flirt with her but she never paid them any mind, just gave them their drink and moved on. She found herself blushing though when a particularly charming customer referred to her as the Princess of the Bar or as Reno had once said during an extremely drunken state 'the First Queen of the Seventh Heaven." It was good to have that kind of company, even though it wasn't the best it was good enough for her. The kids normally did their own thing together, whether it was homework or play, sometimes they liked to cook with her or ask her how Cloud was. She enjoyed their company and she enjoyed Cloud's when he was around. But he never really came home anymore anyway...
She felt tears sting her ruby eyes despite her efforts to fight them back as she thought of her childhood friend. She had given him everything she could offer yet it still wasn't enough and though she kept on telling herself that she accepted the fact, the pain that assaulted her heart every time she thought of it still remained. She couldn't take much more of the pain, the stress... her heart couldn't take much more...
The sound of cracking and glass shattering resounded in her ears and caught her attention. A single tear fell as she turned her eyes downwards. Glass shards lay sprawled around her feet along with a red liquid substance that was dripping from her left hand. She inhaled a sharp breath as she stared at the shards stuck in her palm, not because of the pain but because she'd done it again...
She picked the glass out, ignoring the small pain she felt before looking around the empty bar cautiously. It was stupid really, she knew no one was there, no had been in for the past few nights because of the snow but she couldn't take risks, especially not now. Digging into her back pocket, her hand closed around a small spherical shaped object and she gently took it out. She pressed the master spell materia into her skin quickly and cast cure on her hand, watching as the skin healed quickly. Quicker than it ever healed before...
Her breathing came quicker as her brow creased in worry while she tried to get the materia out of her arm. She shouldn't have tried it, she should've just put it in the materia slot on her glove like any normal person would do but she didn't have them in her back pocket. They were somewhere else in her cluttered house.
Her nimble fingers nervously shook as she tried clawing at the soft skin of her wrist however she halted her movements when she sensed something fall to the floor. She looked down, praying to Aerith that the feather on the floor was just a trick of her mind, but it wasn't. It lay there, almost innocently, with its jet black body and red tips shining in the false light of the room.
Sweat gathered on her forehead as she suddenly felt light-headed and dizzy. She grabbed onto the counter for support, feeling more tears sting her eyes as she felt her walls slowly breaking and crumbling to join the feathers now gathering at her feet. Why was this happening now? She had tried so hard, worked so hard to keep control. She had tried to be the perfect girl, pretty, strong, positive and hard-working but above all motherly... but no one, not even Cloud knew the darker side of her. The side she had concealed for seven years, concealed since the day at the reactor...
She was sure they knew that she was hiding something, she would always lock the bathroom door when showering and never wore anything that exposed her back. Marlene definitely knew, she had questioned her guardian about her strange nervous behaviour that had slowly been getting worse over the months. She had been fine until the episode with geostigma had brought it all back. She had had everything under control, she had figured it all out but seeing him again...
Her control had just slipped.
She stumbled over to the door, taking her leather vest off exposing her white strapped top in an attempt to cool down. It was too warm yet her back was freezing as was the ugly scar that ran along her chest.
She should've known better, she never should've attacked him, but she had been blinded by anger and hatred, her thirst for vengeance had been too strong. She could never have known his sword had been covered in Jenova's cells from where he had cut himself beforehand. She could never have stopped the infection from triggering a fault in her genetic make up..
She couldn't hold back the tears now, they flowed freely down her face as she walked barefoot through the snow. The cold was soothing, it made her feel human, it reminded her that she could truly feel. The sound of the door slamming behind her echoed through the empty streets as she fell onto her knees in the deep snow. She curled over, letting her tears and sobs go, she had held them in for seven years, she deserved to let them go; there was no there to see her.
There was no one there to see her. She was completely alone... maybe she could do it... just for a minute, maybe she could just let go for one minute. It couldn't hurt it might even help her problems. Who said she might not feel better after it? She could do with a bit of stress relief right about now; business hadn't been doing too well and the bills were due soon...
The sound of a pillow exploding resounded through her ears as feathers fluttered to the ground, floating slowly to land on the snow. She had never shown anyone her secret and she would never let anyone see but sometimes she just needed to go wild.
She felt her wing catch the wind as she complied with her inner wants and needs, jumping up from the ground and allowing her wing to support her in the air. The snow continued to fall, it's flakes catching in her long hair and wing but she didn't mind, she didn't feel the cold not when she was like this.
She flew higher and higher, twirling in the air and catching some snow on her tongue. Looking down, the destroyed city seemed so small and vulnerable, just as she had felt. She had felt like she was a monster, no better than Sephiroth. She was the same creature after all, born in the same way and discovered her mother's pregnancy's dark secret just as he had.
Except she hadn't gone insane, she had been scared but she'd controlled it when she found the details of Project Lockhart. She had hidden the documents from Cloud when they were searching the mansion's basement for Sephiroth and she had tested her theory that night.
She hadn't known what to do that night in her bedroom, back dripping blood from her first time sprouting her wing and feathers damp from the red liquid lying bout the floor. She remembered crying her eyes out and covering all the mirrors, not wanting to see the monster she had become... No, the monster she had always been. She had lied to her friends, saying she didn't feel well and not opening the door to her room. Aerith had tried to help her, offering her healing magic since she thought Tifa had been sick but the fighter had let no one in.
After three days and nights of tears, fear and rage she had strengthened her resolve to conceal her wing and her secret.
But now as she was up in the air though, high above the humans of the world, she felt free, free of responsibility and free of her fears. A smile crept onto her face as she twirled and dived through the clouds, cutting through the falling snow faster than a bullet. Why had she ever tried to contain the freedom of flying?
She had never opened her wing since that night, she had been too scared to. She had learned to purposefully ignore it, making sure her eyes never saw the ugly scar on her back and making sure no one else would either. Her fingers never touched it and her long hair always hid it from her view when she was in the shower. She knew she could never completely forget it was there but that didn't stop her from trying.
The effort of forgetting it also made her overlook the fact that she perhaps she could do some amazing things with it, like what she was doing now. When she thought of angels, she pictured glowing, majestic creatures with beautiful pure white wings and halos flying through the sky. She was far from an angel and she knew it but flying for the first time, really testing her skills, it made her feel just a tiny bit closer to heaven.
Growing bold she flew down, directly onto the streets and trailed her finger along the snow covered roads as she flew a few centimetres above it. Returning to the sky, she spiralled upwards, hair whipping and clothes flapping in the wind. She stopped flapping her wing, closing it around her body as she let herself free fall, enjoying the adrenaline rush as a child would enjoy the feeling of disobeying its parents.
She shouldn't love it, she should be punishing herself for giving into her desires, for being so carefree, but it just felt so good.
Her energy never drained as she twirled shooting fire from her hands in a display of magnificent fiery light. Its colour reminded her of Reno, the Turk that was now working so hard to rebuild Shinra with his comrades. He called into her bar every now and again, he claimed it was because she had the best beer but she knew that wasn't the reason. She felt that he knew about the troubles that was going on with her family and business, she needed all the customers she could get.
Normally when she thought about her dying business or the strain on her family, she'd cry and curl into a protective ball when she was alone. She'd never cry in front of the children or any of her customers, she had to be strong for them. She wanted to be strong like Cloud, he had always kept the, going and had been the bravest leader they ever could have asked for. It was one of the reasons she loved him.
But now she felt stronger than ever, she felt stronger than Cloud. Genetically, it was more likely that she would be stronger. It was true Cloud had reacted to Jenova cells but that was when he had been a teenager, she had had them her whole life and when Sephiroth had sliced her with his masamune all those years ago, that was when they had started to really come alive. Her wing had not appeared but when she had awoken in Midgar, she had felt stronger and better. The doctors had been amazed she even survived the incident, no one had ever survived a blow from Sephiroth's masamune. But her strength had helped her survive and it would help her fight back her tears.
She vowed she'd never cry again.
She felt as though she could break titanium or she could lift the Shinra building with one hand as lightning circled her body, sprouting from the materia in her wrist. She didn't care who saw her, she wasn't hurting anyone, she was just having fun. The joy that escaped her cracked heart seemed to fill in those cracks and give her the confidence to take on the world. Who said she couldn't?
She had never felt so powerful in her life, even when she was fully powered for her limit break 'final heaven'. It was ironic how she was more of a demon than an angel and yet her limit break was to do with heaven. She found it more ironic that her ultimate weapon was called 'premium heart' and monsters don't usually have any.
But that was in the past, she always thought she was a monster but now she was coming to realise that it wasn't what you were that made you a monster, it was what you did. Sephiroth was a monster because he slaughtered an entire town and tried to destroy the universe, she wasn't. She had stopped Sephiroth and she had never hurt anyone. Her DNA prevented her from being classified as an angel of heaven but she could damn well try to be one.
She would take on the world, she'd grow her business, she'd hire entertainment to attract customers. She'd hire help so she could spend more time with her children. She liked the sound of that; her children. Well they were hers, she took care of them and she did it mostly without a father. She knew Cloud wasn't doing deliveries, there were no more phone calls for him but that was his problem. She loved her childhood friend with all her heart but it was time to move on. She was twenty-three now and she would not wait for the one man for all of her life. It was about time she let go of the past and embraced her future.
Laughter full of joy escaped her as an aero spell escaped her lips and sent her shooting upwards, leaving the world below behind. She couldn't remember the last time she laughed out loud. The only time she ever really laughed was when she spent good quality time with Denzel and Marlene or when Reno messed up one of his corny jokes when he was half-drunk. She loved the feeling and she would make the most of it, she'd face anyone who tried to stop her.
For years she had concealed this side of her, she'd tried to be the best friend, the shoulder to lean on, the pillar of support but no more. She couldn't hold up everyone's problems, of course she would try to help them but she would take care of her own first. She wouldn't go back to being the barmaid who hid her emotions from the world or covered everything up with a fake laugh and smile. She would produce real smiles and real laughter, she'd do things her way, the way she considered to be right. It was time for a new Tifa Lockhart to shine.
She wrapped her wing around her body, falling as fast as a bullet towards the Shinra building and opening her body at the last second so she could land with a safe thump on the roof. It had the best view of Midgar in the world and she'd be long gone before anyone found her there. The old Tifa Lockhart would've been more cautious but this new one knew there wasn't much to worry about, she'd just enjoy the moment.
She felt so powerful as she played with a small ball of flare between her fingers, watching as the non-elemental magic danced along her nails and curled around her pale skin, like a snake that obeyed her entirely. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this free and happy. No one would bring her down ever again. She would make sure of that.
She laughed out loud once more, not caring who heard her. She probably looked like a maniac, out in the cold in nothing but shorts and top that covered noting except for her midsection with a red and black wing protruding from her back. But she didn't care, she would let them think what they liked, it didn't bother her, she wouldn't let it bother her.
She cast an eye to the horizon, seeing the sun begin to peak out over the hills. She sighed contently feeling the need for a nice nap but grinned like a Cheshire Cat as one last idea crept into her mind. She sprinted towards the edge of the roof like an excited school kid as she jumped off, diving over the edge and pulling up at the last second before continuing to fly home. She never saw the figure, hidden in the shadows cast by the large helicopter, watch her beautiful performance with an unidentifiable emotion glittering in his greedy eyes.