-cough cough- ...Well...This was a birthday fic for a friend who wanted to see the Hosts (or at least the twins) on LSD...XDDDD Which I was more than happy to supply. With multipul references to Tsubasa, of course! Anyway, please no flames. This is purposfully horrible! (Much love!)

SEE THAT PRETTY RAVE BOY

Stove lights. Neon body paint. Ecstasy. Pulsating music that was so loud you could feel more than hear than hear the erotic techie beats. The smell of sweat and the feel of skin to skin contact though overly tight skinny jeans and fishnet stockings was ever apparent, especially on the dance floor made of tiles transparent enough to just make out the blurry shapes of fornicating teenagers and young men and women in the underground rooms. People spun their hands, scraping wristband to wrist band in not pulling off differently colored sex bracelets before sneaking away to fulfill the act of the jelly band they snapped.

Various different colored lights flashed across the crowd, illuminating the sparkles and glitter that was falling from around the classic disco ball and then more lights started up, blinding white lights. Just as the mass of undulating bodies was about to become something better resembling a riot than an actual dance, two well dressed people in skin tight clothing that greatly accentuated their reddish brown hair pulled from the middle of the mass and over to another random figure who sat closer to the bar than was almost humanly possible and glaring at the group of girls and girly boys that had crowded around a sexy (and currently shirtless and covered from head to toe in neon pink and green body paint) blond.

One red head was dressed in blueish, almost black skinny jeans with several glow-stick necklaces looped around his waist as a belt, a black tank top with various extra shoulder straps underneath a baggy blue tank that hung loosely on his thin frame. The second boy favored a bright green pair of skin tight jeans under a red, tiny plaid miniskirt - purely for appearances sake - and an orange fishnet top that hung just above the bottom of his ribcage; his glow-sticks were looped around his neck, bouncing against a pale chest as the infectious music play tricks on his steps.

Lazily, both twins flung themselves on either side of the moody looking brunette in glasses. One took to spinning around wildly on the bar stool, while the other flung friendly arm (that he, honestly, should be more concerned about losing) around the taller boy.

"Why so down?" he asked, grinning from ear to ear and giggling garishly. Laughing even louder, the twin in the skirt spun faster, echoing, "Sooooooo~ down."

"Get off me."

"Awww, that's not very nice!"

"We were just - hic - asking~"

"You're wasted."

"You're sexy!"

Kyouya rolled his eyes and pushed Hikaru squarely in the chest. "I knew this wasn't a good idea to come here."

"Awww, you're just pissy 'cause - hic - Tono's attracting more attention than ya want him ta! Can't blame those girls, though - or the boys. It's those European....eyes!" Kaoru supplied in a sing-song voice as he spun, adding a quite "Wheeeee!" after each completed turn.

Adjusting his glasses, Kyouya seemed just about ready to smack the red head, but stopped himself as - across the room - two medium sized brunettes looped their arms around a thoroughly inebriated Tamaki and began to molest him right in the middle of the dance floor. His expression, if possible, soured.

"So..." Hikaru whistled, twiddling his thumbs and pretending to look contemplative. "Wanna lap dance?"

"I will kill you, you know."

Looking dizzy and as if he were about to throw up, Kaoru finally stopped spinning and tottered around for a few seconds after his feet touched the ground. "Hey, where'd Hunny-buns and Haru - hic - hi get off ta?" He spread his arm out and seemingly revolved on the spot, completely messed up and grinning like a love drunk (oh, if only it were love) idiot for a matter of seconds before snorting. "Hehe, ya don't think that they're -"

"- In the back rooms," Hikaru finished, crackling and identical grin. "Hehe, yeah! What do you think, Kyouya-senpai?"

"I think you two should go find out," he hissed, an underlying 'and leave me alone' implied as the brunette also slid off his chair and began to shoulder his way through the dancers.

Watching him go (and shouting plenty of rather unnecessary encouragement after their upperclassman's retreating back) the twins were threatened to be engulfed by another fit of glorious giggles and the urge to smoke something. Arms wrapped around each other's waists in a sign of good comrodery, they swayed rather than walked to the bright purple door that lead to a winding staircase that was more illuminated then the dance floor. Eventually (although the stairs proved to be a bit of a problem when drunk and high) the two happened upon the fabled back room of the Hexagon, where more bodily fluids and STDs were exchanged than names and phone numbers. Lights flickered from the dancers feet on the transparent glass ceiling. The place smelled faintly of sweat, alcohol, perfume and a fourth smell that was more of unmentionable rather than indescribable.

Moans, muffled grunts and the rhythmic 'thump-thump' of backs (or fronts) making contact with the walls came from behind the various doors that the lounge (used primarily for making out, under the table blow jobs and unsupervised drug use) lead off to. The Hitachiin twins were just about to begin the random process of picking a door and seeing if Hunny and Haruhi were behind it when shoelaces caught beneath their feet and the two tumbled face forward into the long white couches (white for a reason). More insane laughter of these stupid actions before Hikaru managed to pick himself up and begin to move toward the maroon doors marked with golden stars again.

Quietly, behind him, Kaoru stared up at the ceiling, making fishy faces (he honestly felt like a fish in a bowl of water - like he was floating! And it was wonderful!) before he listlessly started singing, "Oh, I wish I were and Oscar Meyer wiener..."

"Ssshhhh!" Hikaru said, stopping in his tracks. He held a painted finger up to his mouth and attempted to shush his twin again, although making the sound was rather hard while attempting not to laugh. "Ssshhh! Shhh! We gotta be sneaky!"

"Like ninjas~?" Kaoru sang.

"Yeah!" Hikaru agreed, shouting his approval before clapping a hand to his mouth. "I mean, yeah! Haha! Yeah! We gotta...gotta catch them in the act. Else they don't ever....learn."

"Puppies!" The younger twin agreed, sitting up. "Oh, I feel sick."

His brother generally ignored him and started moving toward a random door.

As soon as Kaoru caught up to him, the two of them placed their hands clumsily on th handle and turned, pushing the door open...

"Oh, oh! Oh, fuck! Fucking hell - Harder!"

"Shuddup, Flourite!"

SLAM!

....They blinked.

"Wrong door," Hikaru giggled. Still giggling quietly, they tried the next door:

"Holy shit, that's big!"

"You suggested the Viagra..."

SLAM!

"Hehe! Wrong again!"

"We - hic - Maybe this one will be it."

They tried again:

"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to talk with your mouth full?"

SLAM!

Needless to say, they didn't have the best of luck on the next few doors either.

"Oh, Dr. Rondart!"

SLAM!

"Just because we're fucking vampires doesn't mean we have to actually bite!"

SLAM!

"Oh, fuck me harder!"

"I said shut up, Flourite!"

SLAM!

And just when the (entirely drugged out) red heads were beginning to lose hope, they found one more door.

"Oh - Fu - fu - Oh, god! Mitsukuni!"

"Haru-chan, is that all the cake frosting?"

SLAM!

Together, the twins just stood there, faces curiously blank - so blank, in fact, that they didn't even notice when Kyouya dragged a violently neon Tamaki down the stairs, past them and into the 'Shuddup Flourite' room. They...had not wanted to see that.

"Did you just -"

Hikaru nodded. "And we are -"

Kaoru nodded. "So does that -"

They both nodded, and then sighed (with a few hiccups thrown into the middle).

"Maybe we - hic - shouldn't drink anymore."

Kaoru shrugged. "You know what they say. The Hexagon's like Vegas!"

"What happens here stays here!"

They grinned, in tandem, and also moved toward - what they thought was - the 'Shuddup Flourite' Room.