So, this is the new ByaRen I mentioned on LJ that I was thinking about. Rated M for lemons to come. This is a yaoi, so if you do not like yaoi, I would advise you didn't read. I will accept constructive criticism and even a bit of flaming as long as you have a point to back it up.

Off the serious note, please enjoy and review. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, for if I did it would be a lot dirtier. I just like to mess with its characters.

Summary: Soul Society is recovering after the devastating betrayal of three of their Taichou's. In the middle of it, Byakuya has to deal with his recent revelations of his real feelings for Renji, while Renji struggles to confess his own for his Taichou.
Chapter One of Part One. This Fic will be seperated into three Parts of four chapters each.
Chapter Two will come tomorrow.

"You must be wondering why I am still alive."

Renji looked up from his shoes and sighed. He sat at his Taichou's bedside, both elbows resting on his knees, his hands dangling in between.

"No way." He replied. "If you were to die, who would I have to surpass?"

Byakuya said nothing. He sat up, straight and dignified still, despite his injuries and despite the fact that he was sitting in a bed at the 4th Division. The silence stretched on, and Renji had to speak. He had to say it, had to tell Byakuya eventually, and now seemed like a pretty good time. He had a lot to apologise for after all.

"Taichou... I-"

"RENJI!!"

Renji jumped at the sudden noise. Ichigo was suddenly hanging in the window right beside Byakuya, and Renji could have killed him there and then for the damn near horrified expression on Byakuya's face. He jumped up and ran across the room to confront the bastard.

"Shut up!!" He shouted nearly as loud. "What do you want?! I was about to say something nice..." He trailed off."

"Oh.. Oh, sorry..." Ichigo conceded, quiet at last. "Do you know where Rukia is?"

"Huh?" Rukia was missing? Renji suddenly didn't feel angry anymore. "Why, did something happen to her?"

"Ehhh..." Ichigo began backing off. "Never mind if you don't know."

Renji was about to grab him by the scruff of his neck and force him to elaborate when yet another voice joined them.

"Kurosaki-kun!" Inoue's head suddenly appeared beside Ichigo's elbow. This just got weirder. "It's dangerous to climb up to the third story window you know..."

"What the?! What about you? Come to think of it, how did you get up here?" Ichigo turned away from Inoue and looked back at Renji, who was thoroughly freaked out at this stage. "Sorry, Renji! Byakuya! We're out of here."

"Sorry to bother you, Renji-kun, Byakuya-san!"

With that, the two of them disappeared again, with no word on why they were looking for Rukia in the first place. Was she missing? Renji leaned out the window and watched as they ran off down the streets of Seireitei.

"What the hell is up with those two...?" He mumbled. It didn't even need saying that at totally wasn't the right atmosphere for him to continue what he had been saying. Ichigo had messed it all up, he thought with a curse. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Byakuya shift slightly, and turned to see him poised with his hand on his chin, a deeply troubled expression across his fine features. Renji's chest tightened at the sight.

"What's wrong, Taichou?" He asked, his voice heavy with concern.

"Nothing..." Byakuya murmed, then spoke up louder. "Is that man... Going to keep referring to me in the familiar?"

Renji stared blankly for a moment, saying nothing, then a smile broke out across his face. "Hehe..." He chuckled quietly at first, then gradually the volume of his voice increased until he was standing there, laughing at his Taoichou. Stop, you idiot! He told himself, but he couldn't help it. It's just so Byakuya to be worried about something like that, Renji thought affectionatly. He was glad to see his Taichou was coming around to himslf again.

"I'm sorry, Taichou..." He said as his laughing died down. "I couldn't help it..."

Byakuya frowned, but he didn't look angry. He looked amazing. "What did I say that was funny, Renji?"

Renji's laugh died down and his grin was replaced with a round 'o' shape. Did he just call me Renji? In all his time as Byakuya's Fukutaichou, he was always referred to as 'Abarai' or 'Abarai Renji', or 'Abarai-Fukutaichou' if Byakuya was in a very authorative mood, but he was never just 'Renji'.

Byakuya rose his eyebrows slightly and Renji realized he'd been staring. "Uhhh... I guess it was just funny how you were worried about something like that..." He said with an embarrassed grin.

Byakuya stared at him for a moment longer, then down at his own hands. Obviously he didn't find it funny. "You were speaking before Kurosaki interrupted?" He prompted suddenly.

Renji froze. Shit, he thought he would have forgotten. He felt like cold water was slowly trickling down his back. What's wrong with you? He thought. You were all hyped up to tell him five minutes ago.

Byakuya still wasn't looking at him, so luckily he didn't see Renji's blush. "I was... Uhhh.. You know what? Wasn't important." He felt angry at himself for chickening out, but he just couldn't tell him. Not now. Besides, he had no idea what to say. How would he even begin? 'Well, you see, Taichou, I think you're hot. Unbelievably hot.' No way.

"Uhhhh I gotta go Taichou. I'll be back in the evening with some of your tea." He said hurredly and fled from the room.

Byakuya didn't look up until Renji was gone. He stared at the door for a good few minutes after he'd left, his eyes round although he didn't realize it. Then he sighed and looked down at his hands in his lap again.

Part One Chapter One down, Chapter Two will come tomorrow. You know what to do ^_^ Press the lovely green button.

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