it is a fateful rainy day out in the sun and you are watching watering plants. your house is drenched soaked in all this rain must be foreboding of your body later. you go into the bathroom and look at the morror and look at your perfectly styled hair and look at a comb and you take that comb inside of yor hand and you put in in your hair and vigourously rub it back and forth and look in the mirror agen and your hair is perfectly coifed.

the combs name is comburt because your name is kurt this is klaine fic ok.

you go back into the normal part of your house that is not covered in wet things like towels and toothbrushes. your dad, BURT, is out of town for the daily car festival in october. BURT left some things behind for you and blaine, such as a copy of The Land of Stories written by Chris Hemsworth. among other things he has also left with you a box of condominiums because BURT knows whats up.

the doorbell is ringing these notes that remind you of singing, so you sing and sing and sing some mariah carey until the doorbell wrings again and you relazie oh shit the doorbell is ringing?

"and i~ will always love you~" you are operaing at the top of your cavernous mouth voice when you open the door and it. is blaine here.

"hello kurt i love you", he says with a cheeky grin and is also wearing some equally cheeky clothing with a cheeky bow made out of actual butt cheeks print but that's fashion for you and you picked out his clothing.

"bolin i was just combing my hair please come inside," you stutter like the typewriter mysteriously twittering away in the background, "because you know how much i love my hair."

"i love your hair like i love you because you are the love of my life," blaine sighs. but his sighing is audible enough to make out that sentence. you go over to the couch together and casually sit on his legs and pick up the book.

"you are so sweet blaine i could just eat you right up."

"yes you should do that."

he is nodding eagerly looks like things are about to take a dark turn.

so instead of reading this perfectly nice book you whip off your pants and whip off your shirt and whip off your shoes and whip off your socks and you almost get whiplash but luckily in this au blaine is a doctor and you have nothing to worry about.

"this is why they invented masturbation," blaine screams in amusement, clapping his hands in a distracting way. he rips off his jumpsuit and starts touching all over of yyour body.

"blaine that is my body don't do that," you are moaning because people moan during sex.

blain goes over to the penis region and starts licking that thing too plus he uses his hands. it seems like he is not listening but that's ok because now you are starting to feel all over his butt. you are butt touching.

"blaine do you want me to sex you"

he releases your bologna pony so he can say, "yes please kurt stick that thing into me please that sounds like a good idea."

you realize in the heat of this battle of dick licks you forgot to close the door. sebastian and a piano are there watching you two get it on like donkey kong.

blaine looks at your 100% all meat thermometer and puts a condo on that heat rod. he does this using his mouth because he read a cosmo tip that that is way cool. you whip him around and aim right for his assbutt and push your dickens into this chickens. and you grunt alot.

"homosex is really interesting kuURT and i love it like i love you" he is screaming

afteter sexing your peen in blaines holy place for about 5 hours now and asking sebpaino to leave for a bit you start to feel this feelings coming on not in your heart like normal but this time in your cock heart.

"blan i'm going to sperm"

"ok"

you sperm all up in that place. he is sperming as well. and then you put your pajamax on and kiss each oother goodnight because what are friends for