Yami doesn't know what to get Seto for Christmas.
Disclaimer: I still don't own it…
Warnings: Perverted Kaiba, somewhat shy Yami… I so rarely get to see a Seto that isn't saying 'Hn' all the time, so I made him almost completely OC…
Seto Kaiba's Christmas Wish:
Seto Kaiba sensed Yami Motou's presence behind him, following him stealthily. Or more accurately, trying to follow him stealthily. It had been like this for most of the day (and part of the week) and he was getting increasingly irritated. He purposefully walked down an empty staircase and could see Yami sneaking after him. The Pharaoh was rather pathetic at concealing himself in the nonexistent crowd.
Finally unable to take it anymore, Seto abruptly stopped and strode a few steps towards Yami.
"I don't enjoy being stalked, midget."
"I'm not stalking you," Yami sounded resentful.
"Then go away. I feel like I'm trapped in a low-grade horror movie."
"I will as soon as you tell me one thing that'll make you happy, so I can get over and done with my Christmas good deed!"
Silence. Obvious glee spread across Seto's face. You couldn't really see it but his eyes changed. They looked somewhat…lighter.
"Oh, so you're my secret Santa?" A bark of derisive laughter.
"Shut up." Yami's voice was strained. "This is a stupid idea and it's just my crap luck that I got you."
"The bad karma had to catch up with you one of these days," Seto said smugly.
"What bad karma? All I ever do is save people!" Yami made a strangled noise. "Just tell me what you want for Christmas and get it over with."
"You sound like a very disgruntled Santa. Are they not paying you enough?"
"I wouldn't be doing this - at least not for you - even if they paid me."
"What are you doing here, then?"
"Which part of 'picked' and 'ultimate bad luck' do you not understand?"
"Hmmm. This is very interesting, porcupine. So let me get this straight. I tell you what will make me happy and you'll do it for me. Is that it?"
A hesitant pause. "Um, I think there are some limits on what you can ask for, Kaiba..."
Seto looked the happiest Yami had ever seen him. Not a very good thing for him though…
"Can we please just get this over with?"
"Oh, Pharaoh! You're begging me!"
Horrified. "I am not!"
"You've never said 'please' to me before."
"And I don't intend to make a habit of it. Can we please get to the gift giving?"
"You seem awfully eager to please me."
A pause. "That sounded really bad, Kaiba."
"I know. Let's see now, you're here to carry out my wildest fantasies..."
"Kaiba! Yugi and Mokuba said 'make the person happy,' not 'be his sex slave.' Get it right."
"How about making the person happy by being his sex slave? Oh, I can see it now. I could duel you while you're wearing a-"
"KAIBA!"
Snickers. Yami looked extremely distressed.
"You're a pervert, you know that?"
"I wouldn't be rushing into the labelling thing, if I was you, considering that you do have to pleasure me in some way or the other."
Angrily, "Can you not say it that way?"
"All right, all right. I'll be really nice and give you a choice here. You can either throw yourself over the edge of a cliff, or you can get down on your knees and-"
"Kaiba!"
"Relax, I was going to say 'lick my boots,' but I'm open to suggestions."
"Well, neither option seems viable." Yami groaned.
"Okay, I'll revise your options. You can either let Wheeler hear you call him a mutt, or run through a street naked shouting 'Seto Kaiba is a greater duelist than I am.'"
"You're awfully difficult to please, you know that? Can you choose something that's not so…?"
"Well, I am a pervert, you said so yourself."
A sigh. "Can I just babysit Mokuba and give you a night off?"
"That's not counted – you're not really going to be there to make me happy. You're supposed to be personally involved…"
"Okay, okay, scratch that," Yami said.
Kaiba smirked wickedly. "You look your best when you've got that pained expression on your face, has anyone ever told you?"
Yami just glared.
Kaiba tapped his foot against the floor; he was clearly having a good time.
"I've got another idea - why don't you dress up in a mini and sashay up to the mutt? I think he has a fetish for short skirts…"
"Argh," Yami could only respond with a strangled sound.
"Or, why don't you take off your-"
Yami had enough.
"You know what, Kaiba? Your time is up."
The next thing Kaiba knew, Yami seized him by the shoulders and jerked him forward and their lips met with a startled 'umph.' Kaiba blinked, dazed. Which was actually a first for him…
Yami kissed him thouroughly and pulled back, breathing heavily.
For a moment, Seto Kaiba was speechless. That was another first. Finally, rather breathlessly -
"Wow, porcupine. I never thought you had it in you."
A deep breath. "I hope you're satisfied now, Kaiba, because that's all I'm going to do."
"Oh no worries. It's more than I expected anyway."
"Ugh."
Yami was getting irritated with Kaiba's gaze.
"Well, I'm outta here. See you later, Kaiba.."
Casually, "Whatever - oh, just a minute...here."
Kaiba tossed something in Yami's direction. Yami caught it easily and opened it with a shocked look. Two words were written on it, only two. Yami Motou.
Yami stared at it with a vacant look on his face. It took a moment before realisation finally sank in. He lifted his eyes and stared incredulously at Kaiba, who gave him a rare, genuine smile.
"Merry Christmas, Pharaoh."
…The End…
I can't believe I made him smile. I'm such an idiot sometimes. Anyway, review and shout at me if you want… XD