Kiss Me Then
...
"Dan?" He whispered, plonking himself down on the sofa next to me without so much as disturbing a pillow.
I ignored him because what was the point in replying? It was always the same.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw him sigh, reaching for my face with his hand. "Please…" Just as his fingers were about to graze my cheek I jerked away, sliding to the opposite end of the couch. Phil glared at me. "You know most people would be happy about this."
"Not me." I stated, "I think this is the worst thing ever."
Phil cocked his head to the side, like a confused puppy. "Worst thing ever?" He clarified.
I nodded. "This is just cruel, Phil."
"It can't be worse than…"
"No."
"You don't even know what I was going to say?"
I turned to him, fighting down the waves of despair that crashed over me anew. "Yes I do." I asserted, standing and heading for my room.
Unsurprisingly, Phil followed. "Don't you think maybe we should talk about it?"
"What's there to talk about, Phil? It's done." Collapsing down onto my bed I muttered into my pillow. "Why don't you just leave me alone?"
Ever so slightly I felt the bed lower as Phil sat. "Is that really what you want?" He said, pain filling his voice.
"No." I groaned, "But if you're going to be here could you just be you?"
Phil laughed, but it was as empty as me. "I am here, Dan."
"Don't I wish."
"Could you please just look at me?" He begged and slowly I turned to face him.
He was crying, tears making perfect tracks down his cheeks. I knew I was crying too; that I was the reason for his tears. I wasn't sorry, after all he shouldn't have been the reason for mine.
"I just wish you'd let me help you, Dan." He gave me a wobbly smile. "We can get past this." His eyes weren't as vibrant as I remembered, a mere pale blue through his tears.
"I can't Phil." I sighed, "And neither can you."
Phil shook his head, the stubborn bastard. "We can do anything!" He argued, reaching out to cover my hand with his.
For once I didn't flinch away and instead his hand awkwardly hovered above mine, millimetres all that separated us. "Kiss me then." I whispered, "If we can do anything then you can kiss me, right now."
Phil flinched but steeled himself. "I will then." He murmured, leaning over me.
For a second I thought he could do it. My eyes fluttered shut and I waited but nothing happened. Nothing ever happened.
Slowly I opened my eyes to see an empty room and beyond that an empty flat.
If only we'd seen that car coming… Then everything wouldn't be empty.
"Stop getting my hopes up you dick." I said to the room. "Dead people stay dead, you aren't the exception."
...
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