Lee-Lee
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters but that doesn't mean I don't love them none the less. Well some I may love more than others. ^_^
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Leah Clearwater, my Lee-Lee, always has been and always will be considered one of the most beautiful girls in La Push. She was always a ball of sunshine which is where Seth got his cheerfulness and carefree attitude from. Maybe it had to due with the fact that their father was the laid-back fishing type. Her laugh was music to my ears and her smile brightened the cloudiest day. I loved her before I really even knew what love was. All the boys had a crush on her but no one was brave enough to act on it. Even though she was a girl she just wasn't your normal girl. She was a tomboy at heart and would fight any guy and/or girl on the playground in a heartbeat. She wasn't a bully but rather she was the protector of the playground. Hell, she ran the playground and anyone who got out of line was quickly put back in their place. That was the girl I fell in love with and promised myself I would strive to be the type of guy who'd she love forever and ever. I studied hard to be just as smart, worked out to prove I was strong, and did everything the Elders told me to without question. Her father was on the council and I definitely had to impress him.
Finally one day I just decided to suck it up and Samuel Levi Uley at the age of 16 asked Leah Clearwater out on a date. I'll never forget how scared and terrified I was. Paul laughed at me saying that it was just Lee-Lee and the worst she could do was laugh at me, knee me in the balls and walk away leaving me to nurse my hurt pride. Paul definitely didn't help to calm my fears. But I asked her during lunch and to my surprise and joy she said, and I quote, "Yea, sure. Why not?" She was so cool and calm about it. I don't even remember how the rest of my day went after that. Somehow I wound up with detention but I didn't give a shit – I was going out with Leah Clearwater.
Word got out fast about our upcoming date and needless to say I was hated and envied by ever guy on the rez. Even some of the grade schoolers were angry – especially Jacob Black. Like I cared what he or anyone else had to say. Me. Samuel Levi Uley, was going on a date with the beautiful, feisty, proud, strong-willed, every guy's fantasy Leah Clearwater. I spent the rest of the week planning out the perfect date because after all the hard work I went through over the last 5-years I be damned if I wasn't going to get another date and another and another. My Mom and grandma helped out and by Saturday afternoon I had planned a day at the beach (meaning Leah in a bikini), picnic lunch on the cliff (meaning she and I were alone). Seriously I had to intimidate half of the school to keep them away; just glad Leah never caught wind of it. And then I'd take her home on my dirt bike (the best part Leah would have to wrap her arms around me).
The date went off without a hitch – I was funny, charming, polite and listened to everything she said. I hung on to every word she said as if my life depended on it and in a way it did. She was going to be my future – I promised that day as I walked her to her door debating on whether or not it was alright to hold her hand? Was it okay to kiss her? Kiss her where? On the lips, cheek, forehead? Where? One of the few times I wished my father was around to have answered these questions – the bastard. But she picked up on my anxiety and she lightly touched my arm and smiled up at me. Seeing her eyes sparkle and that smile which was directed at me only stopped my heart and I swear it felt as if time had stood still. "Relax Sam." She told me while rubbing my arm and I know I got goose bumps because she laughed even more. "This was fun. We should do this again sometime." That was how our first date ended as she squeezed my arm and went inside giving me that beautiful smile one more time.
From that moment on I was hooked. I found my confidence at her words and asked her out every Friday night and to every bonfire, party, dance…anything. Eventually, she became my Lee-Lee and I loved every single moment of it. My whole life was perfect: I had the perfect girl, we were the perfect couple. Nothing could ruin what we had together and I defiantly challenged anyone and anything to just try and tear us apart. I regret those words really late at night when I'm feeling restless or I let my mind wander to the past. There was something and someone strong enough to tear down everything that I had worked so hard to build up.
Not many people know this but the day I transformed was the same day I was going to 'officially' propose to Leah Clearwater. I had been working hard; two jobs and doing odd jobs around the rez saving up money until I could afford to buy the engagement ring that my Lee-Lee deserved. I was so nervous that day and on top of that nothing seemed to be going right. Every little thing was just ticking me off and with every little tick I came closer and closer to just losing it. I finally lost it when my Mom's fuckin' cat, Hogan, clawed my favorite shirt; it was the shirt I wore on our first date. Sure it didn't fit the same because I had bulked up but Lee-Lee said I looked good in it. Everything from there was a total nightmare – a nightmare I couldn't wake up from. I cried, I never cried even as a child but I did then. I was so scared and had no idea what to do. I wanted; no I needed my Lee-Lee. She always knew what to say and do to make me feel better but how was I supposed to talk to her? I couldn't even yap out a simple 'I love you'. Weeks later I calmed down and went back to my human form but I was scared – scared of myself, scared for Lee-Lee. I had become a monster despite the legends and Lee-Lee didn't deserve a monster, a freak of nature.
It broke my heart and I know hers but I stayed away from her. It wasn't safe and I couldn't live with myself if I had physically harmed one hair on her beautiful head. I died inside when I broke up with her and the look in her eyes just ate at me. I felt like the lowest creature in the entire universe because I had taken away her smile, her laugh, and that sparkle in her eyes. But, if anything Leah Clearwater is persistent and she never gave up on me. She was patient with me, gave me space and yet still told me that she loved me and would always be there for me. It took a couple of months and some talks with the Elders but I finally had enough control and understanding about what I had become. I went back to her on my knees begging her forgiveness and she laughed at me giving me the biggest hug ever saying, "Sammie you never have to ask for my forgiveness. Just no more running away." I promised her I would never leave her or hurt her ever again.
Promises. I had made so many promises to her that I swore to keep. Then along came the second force of nature to tear us apart. It came in the form of her cousin, someone who was like a sister to her, one of her best friends, Emily Young. When I first laid eyes on her it was as if everything else didn't matter anymore. She was suddenly my whole world, this girl I had never seen before, this girl I knew absolutely nothing about. I was brought back down to earth by Lee-Lee's voice and I ran. I ran away. I was frightened by what I thought and felt towards this stranger. I ran right to Billy Black's and told him and Quil Sr. what had happened. Unfortunately, they also called Harry Clearwater and I had to find out with him sitting across from me that I had imprinted, not on his daughter but on her cousin. He was livid and it was the first time I had seen Harry lose his temper. It was easy to see where Leah got it from. No, she was still my Lee-Lee!! I told them I was going to fight it. I loved Leah, Lee-Lee, too much for far too long to just throw everything away. I had bought an engagement ring for Christ's sake and I was not going to let the best thing that ever happened to me get away.
Words. That's what they were. Nothing but big words from a big man. I lasted three weeks. Three weeks to change back into a human and three weeks to give in to the imprint. Huh, never thought about it but it took me three weeks to kiss Leah. Three seems to be my unlucky number. But, after three weeks I couldn't fight the imprint pull anymore and I confessed my undying love to Emily Young. It took me three weeks to convince Emily that I was sincere and another three weeks to work up the nerve to tell Leah I couldn't be with her anymore. Some sick, twisted and idiotic part of me believed that it'd be easy, that some day she'd forgive me.
How dumb could I be? It would've been easier if I wasn't so bi-fuckin'-polar. I still held onto my Lee-Lee and the promises I had made not just to her but to us. When I would see her I didn't have the heart or the courage to tell her. I became desperate in the end to hold onto the dreams that we had built and convinced her to sleep with me. She had convinced me to wait until marriage before we had sex but in my desperation I didn't want to wait that long; I couldn't. Seeing it through her eyes I knew I looked so desperate, sad and needy that she gave in and gave me the last bit of herself. It was wonderful finally getting to be with Lee-Lee in that way. I never wanted to leave her and prayed to God, someone, anyone that the feelings I had for her in that moment would never leave me and would overpower the imprint. Lee-Lee, as always, put her entire self into that one day. She always told me to 'either come hard or go home'. It was this saying that governed her life; she never half-assed anything. I've never forgotten that night and every curve, gasp, moan and move she made is forever burned into my mind and heart. I've refused to let that memory go and so did she. That was the problem. We gave each other our all and no matter what neither of us could get it back. I didn't want to but she did.
I was trying to keep both girls and a small fantasy wanted them to just come together and agree to share. Sharing is caring, right? Wrong. Leah found out that was confessing my love to Emily while in the meantime taking her virginity. She kicked my ass, literally. I told her I didn't love her anymore. That I couldn't love her anymore and I was sorry about the sex – that was a lie. The only truth I told her that day was that I couldn't love her anymore. She just glared at me. She didn't say anything. There were no tears, no questions, demands or anything. She just stood there glaring at me with hate, anger, and betrayal in her eyes. I know I cowered from her because this wasn't safe – it was suicide. My instincts were telling me to run away, cover the boys, beg for forgiveness, jump off a cliff – DO ANYTHING BUT DON'T STAY HERE LIKE THIS! But being the idiot in 'imprint love' that I was stood there because I had Emily and she had me. Leah just walked past me and before I could even breathe a sigh of relief she whirled around and kicked me in the ass. I dropped to the ground and all hell broke loose. She started beating me like there was no tomorrow and for a second, completely forgetting my ability, I thought the same thing. She broke my nose, some ribs; she found a way to shatter my knee cap – why I didn't piece together that she would be going through the same transformation as me I'll never know. After she was done she kicked me in the gut for good measure, spit on me and walked away.
After that she changed – I had changed her. She was no longer sunshine but a dark thunder cloud, her beautiful smile was a bitter and angry smirk and her laugh was now harsh and full of sarcasm. I had changed her from Lee-Lee to just Leah. She wasn't even the old Leah that other people knew just in passing. I lived with that regret for years until she finally forgave me, genuinely. Emily felt so bad that she wanted to fight the imprint and this along with the anger and guilt I felt caused me to lose control. That's how Emily got the scar because I hated myself for hurting the one girl I ever truly loved. I've never told anyone but the scars are a reminder of the pain I inflicted on Leah Clearwater, my Lee-Lee, years ago. As sick and twisted I see them as a reminder of the love I held and still hold for her.
Years later Leah came back to us. She's refused to hear me call her Lee-Lee still but that's a small price to pay to have her back in my life. Sometimes we sit up and talk about our younger years together and I can't help but tell her that I wouldn't change a single moment. "Except for that day I kicked your ass?" She asks with a smug grin on her face and I fall out laughing and she laughs with me. In the end, after all the bull shit, drama, heartache, headaches, leeches, wolves and magic, I'm glad to see Leah Clearwater back. I didn't think it possible but after everything she's been through her smile, her eyes and her laugh are even more beautiful. She's been through hell and high water coming out on the other end better than ever. I never hated her even when she was making my life and the pack's lives a living hell. I couldn't blame her – hell I was more than pissed off at the hand Fate had dealt me. I was a pissed off, bitchy, SOB for months until I went back to Leah the second time. The anger, angst and bitterness she put everyone through I had already dealt with on my own.
I just regret not getting to be the guy who brought her back. I didn't care too much for him when we were younger; he was just some dumb kid. When I saw them getting closer I remember becoming filled with so much rage and jealousy. I tried to convince him and the others to not get to close to her. I didn't want to see her give her all to anyone else like she did me. I wanted to keep that claim on her. He even called me out on it but the only thing that kept me from phasing right there and killing him was her smile. She was so happy with him and I didn't want to take that away from her. I resented, correction, I still resent him and envy him for what he's done. He brought La Push's Lee-Lee back and for that I will always be grateful.
Leah Clearwater, my Lee-Lee, always has been and always will be considered one of the most beautiful girls in La Push. She back to being a ball of sunshine. Her laugh is music to my ears and her smile still brightens the cloudiest day. I loved her before I really even knew what love was. And it's because of her that I know and have experienced what true love is.
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Well there goes the first installment to 'Leah Clearwater: Through My Eyes'. The idea came to me when I was listening to some voicemail messages. One from my brother and one from my ex-boyfriend each talking about how I was on their minds and how much they love me, yadda, yadda, yadda. ^_^ I'm kidding. They both made my day but it got me thinking about what the guys really think about Leah. I can relate with Leah but my ex-boyfriend is the only person outside of my sister and best friend to really tell me about myself. Like when I'm being a bitch, a brat, a Daddy's girl, princess, witch, super villian and the list goes on and on. But I thought I'd start off with Sam and it just kind of wrote itself from there. But I'm working on a poll to see who's POV you want to see next. They'll also be a poll to see who this guy is that Sam mentions in the end. I have my choices but I'll let you guys battle it out in the polls. ^-^ Keep in mind the skies the limit.