Author's Note: This is a seriously random burst of insanity. I thought of
it on a family vacation that included a six-hour car drive. After six hours
alone with my parents and siblings, can you really blame me for writing
senseless things?
Gambit: Yes. Yes I can.
Oh, yeah. See apparently somewhere along the six-hour drive, Gambit picked up residence in my head. I have no idea why. None. He's my best friend's favorite character, not mine. But, oh, well. He's here. So he gets to star in this story! Lucky him.
Gambit: You hate Gambit, don't you?
Anyway..Let's see.I know there was something else I was supposed to put in here..Oh, yeah! I don't own X-Men Evolution. I thought maybe I could use mass hypnotion to make everyone think I owned X-Men Evolution, but before I could figure out if it worked or not, someone stole my mass hypnotion device. Gambit says it wasn't him, but I have my doubts.
Gambit: *sliding shadowy object underneath the bed* Gambit has no idea what you're talking about.
Uh-huh. Okay, I think this Author's Note has gone on long enough. On to the random series of sentences that I call a story!
The Bus To No Where
The first thing that Remy LeBeau noticed when he found himself slowly drifting back into the waking world was just how incredibly hot it was. He forced one eyelid to peel back and immediately regretted it, slamming it closed again. Spots still danced on the inside of his closed eyelids, the remainder of the bright light that was outside. Remy licked his lips and wasn't surprised to realize he had very little saliva left.
Once the spots faded from his eyesight, he attempted to open his eyes again, widening them in a very small crack. Sunlight streamed through, blinding him for a moment. When his vision cleared, he opened his eyes the rest of the way. Directly in front of him was a dirt road, continuing on to his left and right as far as he could see. Beyond that was nothing. Just empty, flat, boring dust. And the occasional weedy-looking plant bush thing. But no one cares about those.
The object he had been sleeping on appeared to be a bench, covered with peeling green paint. His trenchcoat was on the bench beside him, and next to the bench was a sign that read 'Bus Stop.' That was it. Just 'Bus Stop.' No name of a town, no state, no indication of any sort about where he was.
For that was the big problem. Remy had absolutely no idea where he was. Or why he was there in the first place. The last thing he remembered was fighting with Sabertooth over the last bowl of Cheerios for breakfast.No, wait, he vaguely remember Magneto getting all pissed off about something or other. Something St. John had done, like blown up another microwave. Yeah. And then Buckethead had called a meeting.And that was it. So what was he doing on a bus stop on the middle of nowhere?
He stood shakingly. Apparently whatever had got him out here had left his limbs stiff as well. He looked around again, as if hoping he would see something that hadn't been there before, then sighed and fell back on to the bench. He was contemplating exactly how he was going to get out of there when he heard the distant sound of an engine. He sprang up again, looking down the road with hope.
Sure enough, in a few minutes a bus came trundling along the dirt road, dust billowing all around it. It pulled to a stop in front of him and Remy eagerly grabbed his coat and climbed up the stairs. The doors snapped closed behind him, nearly catching the end of his pants. He jumped, then calmed himself and approached the bus driver, a grumpy looking man with brown hair that looked to be in his mid-forties.
"Excuse me Bus Driver Person." Remy started, but was interrupted when the bus driver tapped a sign posted on the dashboard with his right index finger.
Remy peered at it and discovered it read, 'Welcome! Your Bus Driver Today Is Larry.'
"Oh. Well den, Larry, where exactly is dis bus going?" Remy asked.
Larry tapped another sign posted next to the first one. This one proclaimed 'Don't Talk To The Bus Driver.'
Remy blinked. "But, you see, Gambit is sort of lost and needs very much to know where dis bus is headed."
Larry tapped the sign again, more irritably this time.
"Yes, yes, don't talk to de bus driver. But you're not driving de bus right now and." Remy was cut off again as the bus lurched forward and he nearly fell on his butt. "Fine. Remy can see when he is not wanted."
Remy walked down the bus aisle, stopping at the first empty seat he saw, which happened to be next to a very sweet looking old lady.
"Excuse me, ma'am, is it okay if Remy takes dis seat?" Remy asked.
The old lady smiled kindly up at him and replied sweetly, "Of course not, sweetheart. This seat is for my change purse." She set a small purple change purse down on the empty seat.
Remy stared at her for a moment, then moved on. The next empty seat he came to was by a very pretty blonde girl. He smiled charmingly.
"Hello, there, chere, is dis seat taken?" He asked.
She smirked prettily back at him. "Only if it's taken by you, doll."
He grinned and sat down. "So, where is dis bus headed?"
She punched him lightly in the shoulder. "Oh, you're silly! You can't fool me with that pick-up line. Who would get on a bus without knowing where it was going?"
"Err..right." Remy replied. "Why are you going dere, den?"
"Oh you sweet thing! You don't know?" She asked.
"If Remy knew, would he have asked?" He questioned, looking confused.
She grabbed him by the arm and hugged him close. "Why, I'm going there to be married, sillygoose!"
Remy tried to peel her off, liking this less and less. "Really? Dat's nice. Remy is sure de groom is a lucky man." He commented absently, trying to get her away.
She giggled. "Of course you are! And we're going to live happily ever after with two point five children!"
Remy gaped at her, then jumped up and tore off down the bus. When he thought he had gotten far enough, he started looking for empty seats again. He spotted one by a large man with a brown ponytail and hesitantly started over.
"May Remy have dis seat?" He asked the man carefully.
"You may." The man replied.
Relieved, Remy started to sit down. Before he could, however, the ponytailed man raised a hand.
"If," he said, "you can answer me these questions three. Question the First: Where wouldst thou go if I requested a hypo-crystalline sword?"
Remy stared at him, then slowly began inching away.
"Hey, where are you going? You haven't answered Question the First yet!" The man informed him.
Remy broke into a run yet again. He began wondering exactly how long this bus was when he slowed. The next empty seat he came to was by a small white kitten who was staring out the window. Sighing, Remy sat next to the kitten.
"Remy don't suppose you know where dis bus is going?" He asked the kitten absently.
The kitten stiffened, then very slowly turned around. Its eyes glowed red as it spotted Remy and it hissed loudly, baring fangs and slashing at him with a claw. Remy jumped out of his seat and began running again.
The kitten stared sadly after him. "Oh, damn, I came on too strong again, didn't I? I'm just so lonely.."
Remy stopped by a handrail to catch his breath. "Remy must be dreaming. Yes, dat's it, it's all a dream. Now all Remy has to do is wake up." He pinched his arm, then slapped his cheek. When that didn't work, he began hitting his head against the side of the bus.
"Remy, mate, what in bloody hell are you trying to do? Kill yourself?" A familiar voice called.
Remy glanced up to see St. John sitting in a bus seat, staring at Remy as if the Cajun was a little insane. Remy bounded up and dashed over to the pyro, hugging him tightly.
"Damn is Remy glad to see you!" Remy informed him.
John pushed him away, staring at him as if he was a lot insane now. "What the hell is up with you?"
"Dese passengers are all insane." Remy replied as he sat down next to John. "Where are we going, anyway?"
John looked out the window, then back to Remy again. "To Oz, of course. Remember? Where else would we go to see the wizard?"
Remy looked at him for a very long time, then nodded. "Oh. Yes. Of course. Oz. Right." He continued to murmur to himself as he sat back in his seat.
John patted his shoulder. "It's all right, mate, you'll remember when we get there."
Author's Note 2: Yes, it's me again. Forgot two more things I don't own. The first passenger and the third passenger are from the Simpsons. Very funny show. Okee, well, this is the end of the first chapter.Not sure if this is a one time thing I wrote on my brother's laptop in a hotel room at 1 AM or if I should actually continue this.Opinions, anyone? Oh, and ideas are welcome.I'm still not exactly sure why Remy and John are on the bus. So go ahead and review! You know you want to!
Gambit: No, no, no.You don't want to. If you don't review she won't write any more of dis thing!
Ignore him. Review!
Gambit: Yes. Yes I can.
Oh, yeah. See apparently somewhere along the six-hour drive, Gambit picked up residence in my head. I have no idea why. None. He's my best friend's favorite character, not mine. But, oh, well. He's here. So he gets to star in this story! Lucky him.
Gambit: You hate Gambit, don't you?
Anyway..Let's see.I know there was something else I was supposed to put in here..Oh, yeah! I don't own X-Men Evolution. I thought maybe I could use mass hypnotion to make everyone think I owned X-Men Evolution, but before I could figure out if it worked or not, someone stole my mass hypnotion device. Gambit says it wasn't him, but I have my doubts.
Gambit: *sliding shadowy object underneath the bed* Gambit has no idea what you're talking about.
Uh-huh. Okay, I think this Author's Note has gone on long enough. On to the random series of sentences that I call a story!
The Bus To No Where
The first thing that Remy LeBeau noticed when he found himself slowly drifting back into the waking world was just how incredibly hot it was. He forced one eyelid to peel back and immediately regretted it, slamming it closed again. Spots still danced on the inside of his closed eyelids, the remainder of the bright light that was outside. Remy licked his lips and wasn't surprised to realize he had very little saliva left.
Once the spots faded from his eyesight, he attempted to open his eyes again, widening them in a very small crack. Sunlight streamed through, blinding him for a moment. When his vision cleared, he opened his eyes the rest of the way. Directly in front of him was a dirt road, continuing on to his left and right as far as he could see. Beyond that was nothing. Just empty, flat, boring dust. And the occasional weedy-looking plant bush thing. But no one cares about those.
The object he had been sleeping on appeared to be a bench, covered with peeling green paint. His trenchcoat was on the bench beside him, and next to the bench was a sign that read 'Bus Stop.' That was it. Just 'Bus Stop.' No name of a town, no state, no indication of any sort about where he was.
For that was the big problem. Remy had absolutely no idea where he was. Or why he was there in the first place. The last thing he remembered was fighting with Sabertooth over the last bowl of Cheerios for breakfast.No, wait, he vaguely remember Magneto getting all pissed off about something or other. Something St. John had done, like blown up another microwave. Yeah. And then Buckethead had called a meeting.And that was it. So what was he doing on a bus stop on the middle of nowhere?
He stood shakingly. Apparently whatever had got him out here had left his limbs stiff as well. He looked around again, as if hoping he would see something that hadn't been there before, then sighed and fell back on to the bench. He was contemplating exactly how he was going to get out of there when he heard the distant sound of an engine. He sprang up again, looking down the road with hope.
Sure enough, in a few minutes a bus came trundling along the dirt road, dust billowing all around it. It pulled to a stop in front of him and Remy eagerly grabbed his coat and climbed up the stairs. The doors snapped closed behind him, nearly catching the end of his pants. He jumped, then calmed himself and approached the bus driver, a grumpy looking man with brown hair that looked to be in his mid-forties.
"Excuse me Bus Driver Person." Remy started, but was interrupted when the bus driver tapped a sign posted on the dashboard with his right index finger.
Remy peered at it and discovered it read, 'Welcome! Your Bus Driver Today Is Larry.'
"Oh. Well den, Larry, where exactly is dis bus going?" Remy asked.
Larry tapped another sign posted next to the first one. This one proclaimed 'Don't Talk To The Bus Driver.'
Remy blinked. "But, you see, Gambit is sort of lost and needs very much to know where dis bus is headed."
Larry tapped the sign again, more irritably this time.
"Yes, yes, don't talk to de bus driver. But you're not driving de bus right now and." Remy was cut off again as the bus lurched forward and he nearly fell on his butt. "Fine. Remy can see when he is not wanted."
Remy walked down the bus aisle, stopping at the first empty seat he saw, which happened to be next to a very sweet looking old lady.
"Excuse me, ma'am, is it okay if Remy takes dis seat?" Remy asked.
The old lady smiled kindly up at him and replied sweetly, "Of course not, sweetheart. This seat is for my change purse." She set a small purple change purse down on the empty seat.
Remy stared at her for a moment, then moved on. The next empty seat he came to was by a very pretty blonde girl. He smiled charmingly.
"Hello, there, chere, is dis seat taken?" He asked.
She smirked prettily back at him. "Only if it's taken by you, doll."
He grinned and sat down. "So, where is dis bus headed?"
She punched him lightly in the shoulder. "Oh, you're silly! You can't fool me with that pick-up line. Who would get on a bus without knowing where it was going?"
"Err..right." Remy replied. "Why are you going dere, den?"
"Oh you sweet thing! You don't know?" She asked.
"If Remy knew, would he have asked?" He questioned, looking confused.
She grabbed him by the arm and hugged him close. "Why, I'm going there to be married, sillygoose!"
Remy tried to peel her off, liking this less and less. "Really? Dat's nice. Remy is sure de groom is a lucky man." He commented absently, trying to get her away.
She giggled. "Of course you are! And we're going to live happily ever after with two point five children!"
Remy gaped at her, then jumped up and tore off down the bus. When he thought he had gotten far enough, he started looking for empty seats again. He spotted one by a large man with a brown ponytail and hesitantly started over.
"May Remy have dis seat?" He asked the man carefully.
"You may." The man replied.
Relieved, Remy started to sit down. Before he could, however, the ponytailed man raised a hand.
"If," he said, "you can answer me these questions three. Question the First: Where wouldst thou go if I requested a hypo-crystalline sword?"
Remy stared at him, then slowly began inching away.
"Hey, where are you going? You haven't answered Question the First yet!" The man informed him.
Remy broke into a run yet again. He began wondering exactly how long this bus was when he slowed. The next empty seat he came to was by a small white kitten who was staring out the window. Sighing, Remy sat next to the kitten.
"Remy don't suppose you know where dis bus is going?" He asked the kitten absently.
The kitten stiffened, then very slowly turned around. Its eyes glowed red as it spotted Remy and it hissed loudly, baring fangs and slashing at him with a claw. Remy jumped out of his seat and began running again.
The kitten stared sadly after him. "Oh, damn, I came on too strong again, didn't I? I'm just so lonely.."
Remy stopped by a handrail to catch his breath. "Remy must be dreaming. Yes, dat's it, it's all a dream. Now all Remy has to do is wake up." He pinched his arm, then slapped his cheek. When that didn't work, he began hitting his head against the side of the bus.
"Remy, mate, what in bloody hell are you trying to do? Kill yourself?" A familiar voice called.
Remy glanced up to see St. John sitting in a bus seat, staring at Remy as if the Cajun was a little insane. Remy bounded up and dashed over to the pyro, hugging him tightly.
"Damn is Remy glad to see you!" Remy informed him.
John pushed him away, staring at him as if he was a lot insane now. "What the hell is up with you?"
"Dese passengers are all insane." Remy replied as he sat down next to John. "Where are we going, anyway?"
John looked out the window, then back to Remy again. "To Oz, of course. Remember? Where else would we go to see the wizard?"
Remy looked at him for a very long time, then nodded. "Oh. Yes. Of course. Oz. Right." He continued to murmur to himself as he sat back in his seat.
John patted his shoulder. "It's all right, mate, you'll remember when we get there."
Author's Note 2: Yes, it's me again. Forgot two more things I don't own. The first passenger and the third passenger are from the Simpsons. Very funny show. Okee, well, this is the end of the first chapter.Not sure if this is a one time thing I wrote on my brother's laptop in a hotel room at 1 AM or if I should actually continue this.Opinions, anyone? Oh, and ideas are welcome.I'm still not exactly sure why Remy and John are on the bus. So go ahead and review! You know you want to!
Gambit: No, no, no.You don't want to. If you don't review she won't write any more of dis thing!
Ignore him. Review!