This story starts the day after the last episode of ER. Jing Mei is now a single mother of two living in Tianjin China. She reaches out to connect with her old friend John Carter. Their friendship quickly rekindles. While mainly focused on Carter and Deb, Carter and Kem are addressed as well.

T rating is due to content in a couple of paragraphs in the last chapter (Tiger, Tiger and there is a warning there too) but all else should be fine for all readers.

Her Story

The Jing Mei Chen family lives in a high rise apartment overlooking the park below and the city beyond. The décor indicates a taste for simple, yet quality furnishings. With its beautiful polished dark wood floor, cut stone accents and mill work, the apartment is inviting and welcoming. No pretentiousness here. A doll left on the sofa, and a stuffed tiger on the floor are the telltale signs that a young but successful family lives here.

Jing Mei walked into her apartment, her two young daughters in tow. She went into the kitchen to deposit the ingredients that would soon become dinner. The children were happy to be home from preschool and were noisily getting reacquainted with the toys in their bedroom.

Her day had been busy, but now it was time to wind down. She leaned against the counter and drew a deep breath as she reflected on what her life had become on this, her 39th birthday. Raised in a life of privilege back in Chicago, she was the daughter of rich and successful parents. They sent her to the very best schools, saw that she had all the right opportunities in life, did their best to raise her with the best of Chinese morals, attitudes and ethics. They did all the right things, so how did her life get so far from the traditional ideal?

She continued to ponder. Did she do the right thing? Bringing children into this world knowing she would be raising them alone. She shouldn't have hesitated to tell him for so long. Did she do enough to try and locate him and let him know that she had used his generous donation, not just once, but twice? How many children does he have now? Would their kids ever meet? Ever know about each other? What would he think if he knew? What would his wife think? What would the kids think?

The girls clamored into the kitchen hungry. She quickly refocused herself, telling them dinner would be ready soon, and got to work preparing the evening meal. Through the meal, the girls happily chatted about their day. She listened intently, prodding them on for more detail. They giggled over the day's events and made faces about the lunch they didn't like. They were beautiful. They were amazing. They were the best thing that ever happened to her. Měi Lì, four, reminded her of him every time she smiled. Měi Xiù, who will turn two next month, had his eyes. It wasn't so much the shape, which were almond like her own, it was the way she used them. Her eyes were like the window to her young soul, just like her father's eyes were the window to his soul.

But all these girls knew about their father was that he was very special to her. He was someone who loved her enough to want her to have a family and not be alone. He was someone who gave her a special gift, a way for her to have a family on her own. Someone who left to go be a doctor in a very dangerous place because the people there had no one else willing to be their doctor. She never mentioned he had a wife. It didn't matter.

After dinner she took them shopping, not for a birthday gift for herself, but for a kite for them. The Qing Ming festival was in just a few days and the girls, like most Chinese children, would want to fly a kite. As they shopped, she told them stories about her childhood, about Lǎo Ye and Lǎo Lao. She wanted them to know about her parents. She wanted them feel their ancestral connection.

Once home, it was time for a bath and then bed. Tucking them in, she kissed and hugged them and told them goodnight. At the doorframe, she turned to look over them. How beautiful they were sleeping so peacefully. What would her parents think of her girls? About the way she was raising them? About how she was teaching them to embrace their heritage? The same heritage she'd conveniently snubbed off at times? What would they think about their father who was no where in their lives? Who left his donation on deposit for her to use if ever she felt the need to start a family on her own? Who seemed content to not know whether or not she used that donation? "Don't dwell, don't dwell" she whispered to herself as she pushed her fingers thru her thick, black hair.

But it was her birthday. A day she had come to designate as her day to dwell. 363 days each year she forced herself to stay focused on what was good and right in her life, and not dwell on what was missing, what was wrong. The two exceptions: Christmas and her birthday. She made herself some tea and sat down at the table with an old photo album. This one was from her med school days, her time at County. A small smile lit her face as her eyes wandered onto a photo of the two of them. It was from her first day at County. Everyone met at Doc Magoo's that evening. They were sitting at the counter. Dr. Benton teased John about the treatment he received after she accidently shocked him unconscious. She let out a pop of air chuckling softly as she recalled what prompted the teasing. He made her do her very first rectal without any instruction. She got stuck. Boy, he had to help her then! That was some first day. Smiling, she gently shook her head from side to side as picture after picture, the memories came flooding back.

She thought about how the people at County were more than teachers, more than coworkers; they were family. Families tend to keep tabs on each other. "Hmm, I wonder if…" she got up and walked over to the desk in the other room. She sat down, reaching in the drawer, she pulled out an envelope and paper and began to write.

Dear John,

I hope this letter finds its way to you. Life got complicated sorting things out after my parents passed away. I miss talking to you. I miss our friendship. So much has happened since I've been gone.

I wish I hadn't had those legal issues to take care of here after my father passed away. There was something I really wanted to tell you in person. Though I had started treatment that Fall, I didn't think it would really happen with all the stress of my father's illness. But after burying my father, I realized I was pregnant. I have no words to express how deeply I am thankful for your amazingly wonderful gift that's brought such joy into my life. She was born on August 31st 2005 here in Tianjin. I named her Měi Lì, which means beautiful. And John, she is so beautiful! She also has a little sister who was born on May 7, 2007. I named her Měi Xiù, which is Chinese for graceful beauty. She is beautiful and also from your gracious and precious gift.

I'm raising them on my own. With the inheritance from my parents and my continuing work as a doctor here, we have a comfortable life, the three of us. Sometimes it really is tough though and I wish I still had you to talk to. I wonder where you are, what you're up to, how many kids you and Kem have now. I sincerely hope you found the love, happiness and family you were looking for.

Love,

Deb

She wrote out the envelope and stamped it. Taking out her picture box, she sought out a few photos of each of the girls. She noted on the back their name, how old they were and where the pictures were taken. She took a moment to consider what else she needed to say. There was so much she wanted to tell him, but it could wait. Taking a deep, cleansing breath, she wrote down her contact information and placed the pictures and letter in the envelope and kissed it. The next morning, she'd put it in the mail and hope someone at County would know where in Africa to forward the letter.