(A/N: I do not own Naruto or anything else you read in this fic that is in fact owned by someone else.)
"Humph, Sasori-danna is soooo mean, he wont even let me paint his nails. I'M AN ARTIST DAMNIT I NEED TO WORK!" Deidara of the Akatsuki organization complained, while spending some alone time with his side projects. Hey, there had to be at least one prankster in Akatsuki right? Deidara was in a room filled with his first clay creations from when he was a child, framed of course, in a glass cabinet. Also there was a machine that worked day and night, producing Deidara's preferred type of clay. Then of course, all of the things he used to get on the others members of Akatsuki's nerves, among which were stacks of clay pizza's ridden in a corner, which reminded him that it was his turn to cook dinner, he smiled at this knowing it would cause everyone else to be worried about what they were about to consume, never anywhere else would you see a 5ft 5 venis flytrap in a black cloak with red clouds be afraid of what he was eating.
Deidara had begun hating Sasori to an extent where he detested going out on assignments with him. Lately the puppet master had just become seriously moody with everyone else within Akatsuki. Well, he originally was seriously moody, but this was like 24/7 period moody.
"Fine" He schemed "I'll just have to get back at him for being such a moody ass"
Fifteen minuets later…
"GOT IT!" Deidara bellowed, running out of his storeroom.
In another area of the hideout, Sasori from the hidden sand village and Itachi from the hidden leaf village were sitting at a table, Itachi was currently reading an ancient text, almost near impossible to read by human eyes, and Sasori was slumped over onto the table, looking very depressed.
Deidara walked in…
"Hey danna!" He perked ruffling Sasori's red hair
"What?" He sneered back, shooting Deidara a glare
"Put you hands up in the air and wave 'em like you just don't care" Deidara demonstrated what he meant, as Itachi arched an eyebrow and began carefully rolling up his scroll.
"…no" Sasori replied
"Then just put your hands up in the air like this danna" Deidara's hands stopped moving around, though they were still in the air.
"…no"
"Please?"
"…no"
"Pretty please?"
"no"
"Pretty please with sugar on top?"
"No"
"Pretty please with two sugars on top?"
"No!"
"Pretty please with two sugars on top, and three scoops of chocolate ice-cream?"
"NO!"
"…vanilla?"
"NO!!!!"
"Pretty please with two sugars on top, three scoops of STRAWBERRY ice-cream, and one of those 99p flake things jammed in the side?"
NO!!!!111!!!!?!! $!!!!11!
"…please?"
"ALRIGHT FINE, FOR FUCKS SAKE, BUT IF I DO THIS! WILL, YOU, JUST, FUCK, OFF!!!!!"
"Yay danna" Deidara began clapping.
After signing in annoyance, Sasori sat up, and raised both his arms in the air. "Like this?" He asked
"Yeah!" Deidara though as his eyes went all shifty and evil, he made a lunge for Sasori's arms, and succeeded in pulling them from the shoulder sockets of his red haired partner. Itachi, silently watching this entire fiasco suddenly went googly eyed.
Deidara blitzed out of the room in possession of Sasori's arms screaming, "RUN AWAAAAAAY!" As this was happening, the aura around Sasori burst into flames.
"DEIDARA, GET BACK HER NOW!!!!"
"Haha, you'll just have to catch me first Sasori-danna" Deidara cocked from the hallways, Sasori then belted off in hot pursuit off his blonde haired teammate.
Itachi who was still sat down at the table, blinked a few times, then had a moment or two, to himself, then totally pissed himself laughing.
Five minuets later…
Zetsu walked into the room to find Itachi rolling about the floor like he was having full body seizures.
"…Itachi-san?" Almost instantly, Itachi composed himself and launched back into the scroll he was reading, "I just missed something didn't I Itachi-san?"
The Uchiha nodded silently.
"Damnit…" Zetsu walked back out again.
(A/N: I made this chapter on a spur of the moment situation while sitting on a coach coming back from France on a history trip, this one-shot was based on something that more-or-less actually happened on the coach, so thank you to Nuno, spaz, little Chris, Sam B, Sarah C and I think Izzy (can't remember if you were asleep or not sweatdrops)
(A/N: I KNOW, FOR FUCKS SAKE I KNOW, it's been a long time since I've written fanfiction, that's because I've had waaaay too much stuff to do in the real world, to be pissing around writing stories that barley anyone will read! But I'm back, for a very short while, and I'm beginning my arc of collective one-shots known as Akatsuki lifestyles. I hope you all enjoy them, AND GIVE ME SOME DAMN GOOD REVIEWS!!! Speaking of which, each chapter is more or less, going to be based on completely different members of Akatsuki, so to avoid confusion of the author, please can you review all chapters individually and not, lets say, make a review of the first five chapters in a single review! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy the later instalments)
The Jar Head