This will be the epilogue to my first story, If Only. So if you haven't read it, you'll have no idea what this is about! To all of you who I hope will come back, I thank you and hope you like this story about the aftermath of the day no one in the hospital will ever forget. This story will start just a few days after the shootings, the day of the funeral.
Keep Holding On part one
He didn't understand why any of this was happening, or how it even started. For what seemed like the millionth time he was there again, face to face with his best friend, hearing the last words she said over and over: just close your eyes.
Why had he? He could have saved her if he hadn't. He could have done something, anything, but instead he just sat there and let it happen.
What could you have done? A fair voice said in his head. He would have done the same to you as he did to her. And all this happened in just seconds, remember? You could hardly register what was happening.
In his head a stronger voice said just close your eyes. So he did. And then it had started, and when he finally opened his eyes he realized what he had to live with.
Just close your-"George!"
He woke with a start. Callie was up and moving around the room. She had laid his things out for him.
"We're going to be late if you don't get up."
With dread dawning on him he remembered what day it was. He reluctantly sat up and looked at the clock. He sighed and got out of bed.
Callie looked at him but didn't say anything. She had kept her mouth shut often the last couple days, though she was bursting with things to say. She found out it was better to just keep her mouth shut, because George wanted to talk about anything but what had happened, and tried his best to act like everything was just fine. She supposed she would just have to wait until he was ready.
She hesitated, then said, "Are you ready for this?"
He looked at her. "Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?"
She said nothing.
"So you're okay?" Derek asked Meredith as she frantically ran around the house.
"I'm fine," she said firmly, and finally stopped so he didn't have to chase her anymore. "You go and do what you have to. Cristina and everyone will be there. I'll be just fine."
"Okay," he said. "I'll be back later, alright? And you can call me if you have to."
"Okay," she said exasperatedly. "Now go ahead. Get outta here."
He sighed and did what she said. He gave her a kiss then went down the stairs. She heard the door close.
She sighed and sat down on the bed. She suddenly felt extremely lonely. It had been so weird without Izzie here with her, and it still seemed that she was merely on a vacation and would be back soon.
"But she's not," Meredith told herself out loud. "You have to get that in your head."
She felt embarrassed at this, but really didn't care. After all, she was alone.
"Cristina-"
"I'm going now," she told him, throwing on her coat. "I'll see you at the hospital later."
"Cristina listen to me," Burke said, grabbing her arm. She sighed impatiently and looked at him.
"You're not as okay as you think."
She pulled away from him. "I'm going to Meredith's now," she said, ignoring what he said. "Goodbye."
She left before he could say anything else.
George looked in the mirror. He was starting to get extremely afraid. He didn't think he could do it. It was too much. Hadn't he suffered enough? Why couldn't he just go back to his life? Why did this keep on coming to haunt him?
"Are you ready to go?" Callie asked.
"Yeah," he said, turning away from the mirror. She was worried about him. He hadn't shown any sighs of emotion since the night Izzie died, even now as he was going to her funeral. He walked past her and led the way out.
Cristina and Meredith sat next to each other as they silently drove down the road. Neither of them had any idea what to expect when they got there, and neither of them liked thinking about it.
"I really don't want to go to this," Meredith said.
"Me neither," Cristina agreed.
The rest of the ride was silent.
"You didn't go?" Burke asked Shepard in the hospital.
"No," he said. "Too much going on." He gestured at the board.
Burke nodded. "Too much."
George and Callie arrived first. They sat in the car.
"Ready?" Callie asked.
"Yeah."
They got out of the car.