Hello! This is not my usual style, due to this being a collaboration wth my nine year old sister. Due to that fact, this is full of, Extreme OOCness, blatant disregard for what technology existed in Death Note's timeline, and Crack. Proceed with caution.
L texted Watari on his cell phone.
L:Watari please pick up some cake on your way home. : - )
Watari: What kind of cake, sir.
L: Cake, cake. Duh… -n-
Watari: Don't duh me, mister. Do you remember the last time you 'duh''d me?
L: We do not spell of this.
Watari: Sorry, sir.
L: So, you are going to kick up some cane, right.
Watari: How do I kick up some cane, sir.
L: Sting auto connect.
Watari: What is auto connect?
L: Just prick up my car, okay.
Watari: Okay
L: TTYL
L went back to work. Watari went to the cake shop. Suddenly Light sneaked up behind L and took his phone. "Who ya texting", Light said. "Watari", said L. "Let me see", said Light. L tried to get his phone back but, Light was to quick. Light read the texts, well, at least attempted to read the texts. The auto correct butchered L's… however, Sayu's phone had the same problem, so the messages were decoded quickly. While reading, Light murmured, "So is Watari, like, your guardian? He's wicked old." "NOOOO! I have parents.", said L. "You do? Where do they live?" said Light. "I don't know", said L. "What's your phone number?", said Light. "8675-309", said L. "Great! Now we can text each other!", said Light. "Can I have my phone back now", said L. "No, I'm putting your phone number in my phone", said Light. "What is your number?", said L. "3.14926535, I will put it in your phone.", said Light. They texted each other:
LIGHT: Hey, L!
L: Light-kun, can you get me some strawberry take?
LIGHT: Isn't that, like, Matsuda's job?
L: Matsuda is tunnel an unusually long time in the bathtub.
LIGHT: BTW, did you see his clothes today? They were so tacky, ewwww. The fit's so unflattering, and they reveal everything.
L: I do not spend time booking at Matsuda's pants while I'm supposed to be working.
LIGHT: Sooooo, what did happen last time you duh''d Watari?
L: That is classified information.
LIGHT: Okay…
"L, let's stop texting each other.", said Light. "Okay", said L. Just then Watari came into the room with strawberry cake. "Great! Now we can eat! Do you want some Light-kun?", said L. "Okay, why not.", said Light. Watari cut the cake and Light and L sat down to eat. Matsuda came in the room. "Matsuda! Where have you been?" Light asked, as L smirked in amusement. "Oh, ah, well, I was in the bathroom, and my pants weren't fitting right, so I, ah, changed them" Matsuda said, turning bright red. Light mumbled something under his breath, but Matsuda didn't catch it, and if L did, the detective didn't say anything.
"Sorry L, I forgot your cake", said Matsuda. "That's okay, Watari brought some. Do you want any?", said L. "No, I ate some on the way over here.", said Matsuda. "WHAT? You ate some of my cake without my permission!", L said, while Light smirked in amusement. "Hey, Matsuda what is your phone number?", said Light. "Mine…123-456-789", said Matsuda. "Okay I'll put it in my phone", said Light. "I will put it on my phone too" said L. "What are your phone numbers", said Matsuda. "8675-309", said L. "Mine is 3.14926535", said Light. "Now we can text each other!", said Matsuda.
MATSUDA: HEY LIGHT! HEY L!
LIGHT: HEY MATSUDA!
HEY L!
L: You goats are ageing like children.
MASUDA: Aren't you the one stuffing his face with cake?
L: I'm L I can do whatever I want.
LIGHT: No you can't, L.
L: I'm done with this constipation.
MATSUDA: Now, you are acting like a baby.
L: NO! I'm not!
LIGHT: Yes, you are.
L: I'm getting off.
"Light, it is time to go.", said Soichiro. "AHH! Dad can't I stay longer?!" said Light. "I don't know, is it ok with L?", said Soichiro. "Oh, it's okay.", said L. "Soo…Can I stay", said Light. "Sure, I guess so.", said Soichiro. "I'll stay too!", said Matsuda. "Bye, I'm going to get going.", said Sochiro. "Say hi to Sayu for me!", said Matsuda. "WHAT!", said Sochiro. Sochiro leaves. "YAY! Sleepover!", said Light. "YAY!", said Light. "You two are acting like babies again.", L said as he rolled his eyes.
MEANWHILE
Sochiro got home and opened the door. "Where is Light?", Sayu and Sachiko asked at the same time. "He, L, and Masuda are having some sort of slumber party. Sayu, Matsuda says hi.", said Sachiro. "Should we bring him extra clothes?", said Sachiko. "Yes I think we should", said Sochiro. "Here go run to the hotel to give him some clothes.", said Sachiro. "You have extra clothes on hand!?", said Sayu. "Yes, yes I do", said Sachiko.
BACK AT L'S HOTEL ROOM
"L! You're being a party pooper", said Light. "Let's just act a little more like adults", said L. "Yet, your stuffing your face with cake", said Matsuda. "Matsuda, you've been mentioning the cake all day. Do you, by any chance, want any?", L asked in monotone. "Um, no, not really…", Matsuda murmured, and blushed a bit. L made his cake fork dance, as he replied, "You wouldn't be getting any, anyway. The strawberry cake is mine, I bought it with LABB money." Light snickered at that, and took a bag of potato chips out of the pantry, opening them and putting them in an outrageously pink bowl. As he grabbed a few, Matsuda snuck his hands over to it. Light was anything but amused. After receiving a killer glare, Matsuda decided to not take any chips, for the sake of his limbs not being broken.
"Hey, Light!" The young and idiotic detective said, avoiding L's cake, which was lying on the floor. "Do you have the latest issue of Shojo Beat, I wanted to catch up on Ouran High School Host club, but I didn't have the chance.", he asked embarrassingly loudly. Light nodded, "Yeah, but I'd have to steal it from Sayu again, Father wouldn't be pleased to see his son buying and collecting it.", he said in an amused tone, and Matsuda snickered. "Yeah, leave it up to the Director, am I right?", he said in fits of giggles. L was not minding them, and eating his cake instead. It didn't stop him from making observations of the percentage of Light being Kira dropping rapidly as he acted more and more like a tweenage female.
Oh, he just got an email from Mello. Since Light and Matsuda were so distracted by manga directed to the demographic of teenage girls, he opened it, and didn't like what he saw.
Goddamnit, the greatest detective ever has been Rick Rolled. Mello should be in hysterics right now, since Matt was most likely watching his computer by illegal means. He facepalmed and cursed as colorfully as he could in Latin, receiving a glare from Light, which quickly turned into an amused expression. Light laughed, "I Rick Rolled my dad a million times.", he said. "Oh, I Rick Rolled him a billion times.", said Matsuda. "It seems like you guys like too Rick Roll Sochiro", said L. BEEP! "Oh that's my phone. My dad texted me.", said Light.
SOCHIRO: I'm bringing extra clothes for you.
LIGHT: K.
"My dad is bringing me extra clothes.", Light said after reading his text and reposing. "OOOO! Can I text him.", said Matsuda. "Sure?!", said Light.
LIGHT: I don't need extra clothes.
-MATSUDA-
SOCHIRO: WHY IS MATSSUDA TEXTING ME ON YOUR PHONE, LIGHT?!
LIGHT: …..Because I'm awesome like that.
SOCHIRO: Matsuda, you know that I could get you fired at any time. If you know what's good for you, you should give Light back his phone.
LIGHT: Sorry, dad. Matsuda took my phone and wouldn't give it back. Ryuzaki's snide comments didn't help, either.
SOCHIRO: Light, you're fine, right? I'll bring you some extra clothes, damn Matsuda.
LIGHT: Alright, thank you. See you in a bit.
"Okay, Sochiro's coming over in a bit. Matsuda, it would do you good to put those Shojo Beats away so he won't flip.", Light said, closing his phone. Matsuda blushed sheepishly and locked the Shojo Beat magazines away in L's empty sock drawer. Light made other preparations to ensure that Sochiro wouldn't go nuts ("L, get those strawberry cakes off the floor!" Matsuda, put those chips away!" "L…put that magazine away. As a matter of fact, flush it down the toilet. I don't care. My god, you're insufferable! I don't care if it's 'yummy'!"). In a total of fifteen minutes, Sochiro was going through security, and everything was fine.
Or so Light thought.
As Sochiro headed upstairs, Matsuda was watching on surveillance cameras to make sure nothing was wrong. When he opened the door, L turned over to him and greeted the detective. "Yagami-san, you have Light's clothes, correct?" The man nodded and replied, "Yes. I think they will be at least somewhat satisfactory. Um, hey, L, what are you reading?" "Oh, this?", L said, flipping through the book, "The magazine said that Valentine's candies were good for a loved one, I thought it'd be good to get one for Watari." The world's greatest detective was somehow shocked by the stares he received. "…I assure you, it's completely platonic." Everyone sighed with relief. "By the way, where is he?" Sochiro asked, looking for the old man butler person. "Ah, he's asleep." L said, "I think we should go to sleep, too." Matsuda and Light nodded at that, and Sochiro left. In a bit, everyone except L was sleeping on the couch or wherever. L however, was quite enjoying the magazine.