A/N: AND IT'S DONE! This is the sequel for Let's Wait Until It's Over (which is a sequel for Let's Pretend Until It's Over) and it's the conclusion that I've been writing since last year. I think I could've done better, but after so much time I just wanted to come to closure. However, I feel satisfied with this (it's not angst, I promise) and I hope I can write more about them soon. Hope you all enjoy it!
She shines.
She's the woman who once gave him all the promises in the world. She's the one who once was his entire universe, she was his sun and he was a mere planet orbiting around her.
She's the one who once betrayed him and tried to kill him. She's the one that seduced him with pretty words of vast lands and only gave him a shot in the back. She's the one who kept coming back into his mind while he was incarcerated, while he paid for the mistakes he made when he was with her.
She's the one who discarded him, the one who saw him just as a sacrifice, a stepping stone to her empire.
She's the one he loved when he was just a boy.
And yet, she shines.
She shines and, despite him now being a man, she makes him feel like a boy on the inside. He looks at her, standing in front of him, and can't help but feeling the longing, the magnetic attraction that always drawn him to her. She shines like the sheepish girl she once was and the woman she became, and it takes all his willpower not to run to her.
Feelings won't change the past, he thinks.
His face hardens (his heart flies) and he tries to keep his voice cold.
"What do you want?" it's all that leaves his mouth. He fears what he might say if he speaks anything more than that.
She looks down at her feet and he suddenly has flashbacks from the end of the war, when he last saw her. The memory he couldn't erase during all the time he spent on his cell, the tiny thread of hope. The stab in his heart when he sees the sadness in her eyes.
She's thinner, he realizes then. She's thinner and despite her posture being the same as always, she looks like she is broken. Her voice was also slightly weaker when she called his name.
She's changed.
But she still shines and makes his world shake.
"I thought you'd want to have this back." she manages to say, and a small thing shines on the palm of her hand, drawing his attention from her eyes and he freezes.
He's shocked, completely shocked. So shocked that the only thing he can do is to look fixedly at the round jewelry she holds for him and his heart melts inside his chest, feeding that continual feeling he'd been trying to kill all those years.
She kept it, she kept it, she kept it, she kept it.
He takes the ring from her and for a moment their hands brush, skin touches skin and he tries really hard to pretend that he didn't feel the electric current between them, stirring once again the past feelings he started to feel when he was younger. And during that one moment, so fast that it's like it never happened, he is a boy once again.
He is just a boy, falling in love for a girl.
No, this isn't right. He should have already fallen out of love. He should have forgotten what it was long for her. He should have killed all those butterflies that now fly freely on his stomach. He should have overcome the sensation he felt every time those eyes glowed at him.
She shouldn't have kept it.
He looks at the ring, then back at her, his hand closing on a fist, without saying a word. He doesn't trust himself to say anything. He doesn't trust himself to do anything. Anything except to look at her, his heart threatening to escape from his hands.
She looks back at him, and a second knife finds its way to his heart.
He didn't know what to expect when he found out that she had left prison. He didn't know what to think when he read her last speech, just after she was set free. He didn't know how to act when he heard her voice calling out his name after so much time.
He didn't know, but it definitely wasn't this.
Her eyes are teary, but knows she won't cry, she never cries. And yet her sad smile is even more heartbreaking than when she fired a weapon at him. The regret that paints her face, but barely touches her voice. And he can notice the hurt she'd rather die than let anyone see hiding behind her well crafted mask.
"Goodbye, Baatar." her voice cracks, then she starts to leave.
This isn't right, he thinks again.
Nothing is right, he tells himself.
His world has been a mess since she decided - they decided - to leave Zaofu behind and create a better nation, but ended up installing a dictatorship and starting a war. Now he's walking on a tightrope, never completely trusted by his old friends - or even his family - as he struggles to face the judgement eyes of the entire world without a giant killing robot, or a strong and collected fiancée.
A murderer cold hearted fiancée.
And yet, despite everything she did - everything he did - he just can't deny the fact that he's still tied to her, after all that time.
You should let her go, he thinks.
You'll never let her go, he tells himself.
"Wait." he calls her in an anxious voice, then her eyes are turned to him again "Where are you going now?"
"I'll figure it out." she shrugs "I always do."
He swallows and sighs, bracing himself for what was going to happen next.
His mother was so going to kill him.
"You don't have to." he hopes he doesn't sound too eager, but he knows that if she leaves he'll never see her glow again.
She takes a deep breath before scolding him.
"Now, don't be a fool. I'm certain that Su warned what would happen if you got yourself into more trouble." The words are harsh, but he can hear something in her raspy voice.
A tiny thread of hope.
"I'm sure mom's used to me not doing as she says by now." He smiles, putting the ring in his pocket.
He has no obligation to the woman in front of him, no need to try to help her, but he is going to do it anyway. Even though she gave her back to him once, he just can't do that. Not now, when she needs him the most. (But of course, she's not going to ask for help, ever.)
Besides, it's not like he didn't do anything wrong either, being his accomplice in everything. If he could be forgiven and taken back to his family, then so could she. It was going to be harder, of course, the scars of their battles still too strong, but perhaps two ex-prisoners could have better luck than just one.
After all, even the most resolute people can regret their actions and their choices, rethink their priorities and be willing to start over again, making everything right this time. Maybe not. All he knew was that if the butterflies didn't die after all that time, then he'd never get rid of them.
He was okay with that.