Author's Note: Hello everyone! So welcome to another new story that I have written! With this one, this is my attempt at humor. Well really another attempt years later...

Anyway what was supposed to be a crack fic turned into... I don't know what this is. I guess it still is a crack, but it also has humor (perverted some as warning), joking about some stuff, a little parodying, and a little romance.

Still I hope that you will enjoy this story!

"As I sat there watching her, I felt like I should have done something, but I didn't. The way she moved mesmerized me like that dancer girl who was in that chair and then water came down, or the moment you knew when the drunken girl at the party was about to pass out, knowing you shouldn't take advantage. Either way, it was amazing like a fairy tale. Still… maybe I shouldn't have bitten her." As Hope sat on the bed, his eyes widened, staring like a kid sitting too close to the TV who just found a toy that he would later aggravate his mom to buy then or at Christmas. He watched as the transformation happened.

Cute, pointy, white ears.

Cute, fluffy white tail.

Cute, pink haired soldier that would kill him horribly later once she woke up.

Seconds later, she landed face first on the mattress of her bed.

"Uh-oh…"

Chapter 1: A Girl and Her Cat:

A few feline days before…

"Why me?" The saddened emerald eyes of the former human man traveled around his desk. Various women were circling around his desk with "awes" and "oohs", and the occasional "I'm going to take him home with me!" followed with "Back off! Get your own! I saw him first!" His eyes lowered dully wishing that this stare fest was over. "They just won't go away will they? Even as this, I'm still too cute." Hope checked his hand to make sure that no one drugged him again. Instead of a hand, it was a silver, fuzzy paw. Everything was there. The thin, pointy ears, the long tail, the urge to mark territory to let others know that this was his office. He had to face facts. Somehow he got turned into a cat and he had no clue in the world how. More than that, he had no idea where all these women came from. Uneasy, he glanced at the women that would possibly pull him apart before they even got out of the office, either trying to take him home, or that would torture him by making him dress up in hand made clothes that he rather be choked by.

Outside in the hall, Lightning was heading toward Hope's office when she saw two girls run passed her with giggles between the both of them. Surprised, she peeked in his office and saw the crowd of women. She stepped back toward the wall instantly getting suspicious of what they were doing there this time. "Great. What did Hope do now?" She crossed her arms against her chest as she looked in on the crowd. "This happens way too much. At least once a month. You would think that he would hire better security unless he wants to get kidnapped again. I don't know what he's into anymore..."

Lightning leaned back against the wall as she closed her eyes. She debated whether to go in or not to clear out the crowd. Who was she kidding? Might as well. With that, she let out a loud sigh. "Here we go again. Why do I listen to him? Hey Light! I'm the leader of the Academy. Hey Light! I control the free world. Hey Light! I'm not fourteen anymore and I know what to do with it now. Let's try an "experiment"." Lightning replied mockingly in her mind. She peeked around the corner again upset. "Please... It would take a miracle for him to get into my pants and I'm not wearing any so the real miracle is when?"

Soon, Lightning stepped into the office behind the crowd. "What's going on here?!" Her voice alone sounded threatening. All that was left was the famous glare that made everyone run away. Only this time, the women glared back. "You all need to leave right now! This isn't some shoe sale!"

"Get lost lady!" one of the women in the crowd shouted.

It was then that the glare began to intense, and here she thought it would be a good morning. She pulled out her gunblade and shot toward the ceiling. A few short screams later, all the women rushed out except for three. Lightning was surprised by who was left behind. "Serah? Fang? Vanille? What are you guys doing here?"

Fang crossed her arms. "Geez! All you had to say was please! Do you have to pull out that thing every time?"

Serah placed her hands at her sides as she was upset. "You could have shot someone."

Lightning looked upset at them. "Listen! I don't play by the rules. Shoot first then ask questions later if they're still alive. So what is everyone doing in here?"

Vanille who looked cheerful as usual stepped aside. "Lightning! Look what we found! Isn't he cute?"

Lightning's eyes traveled down to the cat that was sitting on the desk. She had no idea how happy Hope was that she scared off the women. "Thank you!" He tried to say it out loud, but all that came out was a meow. Lightning stared at the cat stunned. Hope walked over toward her at the edge of his desk and rubbed against her waist. "Maybe this isn't so degrading as long as if it's with her. Thank you crazy gun sword carrying, but nice smelling woman."

Lightning frowned at the cat as she crossed her arms. "Don't call me crazy."

Hope reacted stunned since she responded. "Wait! You can understand me?!"

"No. Only this time…and last time…and maybe another time in another chapter by accident."

The two stared at each other until Hope spoke again. "Meow." She didn't respond.

Serah's eyes traveled downwards and placed her finger to her chin. "We think that it might be Hope's cat, but we're not sure. We couldn't find a tag or anything and we can't take him to the shelter. He'll just get put down. Actually maybe we should do that."

Excited, Vanille reached over toward Hope. "Well until Hope gets back, I'll take the cat! I'll play with it! Take baths with it! Hopefully, I won't forget to feed it." Before Vanille could reach over, Lightning slammed her hand on the desk before she could reach Hope. Vanille started to worry once she saw the dark glare in her eyes. "It would be better if I take the cat."

Fang crossed her arms. "She's right. You can't take care of a cat. What about your pet robot in our old village?"

Vanille turned to Fang saddened and fists baled. "It died and came right back."

Fang arched her eyebrow. "But do you know where it is right now?"

Vanille looked down toward the ground. "No…"

Serah became concerned. She hadn't exactly seen her sister take care of a pet before. "Lightning are you sure about this?"

Lightning couldn't believe she asked that. "Am I sure about-?! Look who you're asking!"

The three looked at each other, but then shrugged. Less responsibility and guilt to feel if he dies. Fang looked over toward Serah and Vanille. "Well what's the worst that can happen other than her getting mad and possibly killing him?"

Vanille moaned in disappointed. She really wanted to take the cat. "I guess..."

Hope looked at all four girls. "Wait a minute! Maybe I should go with someone else that won't kill me. Maybe they all would. They all have weapons and possible anger issues." Then, a thought crossed his mind as he grinned. "Then again maybe bath times with Vanille wouldn't be so bad at the risk of starvation." His gaze turned from her chest to Lightning's. Instantly, he became more excited as he closed his eyes. "Maybe bath times with Lightning might be better. If I'm at risk of drowning, I could use hers as floating devices. Wait a minute. This is no time to think like some pervert..." Hope relaxed taking a few seconds to think about this calmly like a gentlemen only that quickly went away. "Who am I kidding? I may never get a chance like this ever again. I could get away with this without being killed."

His eyes traveled back to Lightning. It might have been his best choice. "I guess I could just run away if she ever pulls out that sword and hide. There might not be enough time to win her over with the piercing stare of my eyes." He took a second to think about it, but then put his head down in defeat before he even got the chance to test it out. "Nah! Not enough time. Just run with my tail between my legs."

Afterwards, Fang, Vanille, and Serah headed toward the door. Vanille looked over at Fang. "Oh come on Fang! I could have taken care of a pet!"

"Tell you what. I'll get you some kind of fish and we'll see if that can last more than a week." The door closed behind them.

Quickly, Lightning's glare turned to Hope which made him jump. An expression of fear came on his face. "Oh no. She has that she wants to kill me look or that she'll skin my fur for some kind of fetish boots."

Lightning bent down to where she was eye level with Hope. "You little bastard."

Involuntarily, his tail retracted between his legs. Everything inside of him told him to run or at least not release his bowels in front of her. Did she know that it was him? But how? Was his eyes alone enough to give him away? Her hand reached out for him.

Hope was ready for death to take him away. Maybe it would be a better place where he wouldn't get fleas and definitely won't be a cat. "You…" Suddenly, he felt a soft hand stroke the fur on his back. When he opened his eyes, he saw a sight rarer than the world being in danger. His eyes widened in surprised. "What the-?"

"You are just the cutest thing I've ever seen." Lightning was grinning as her fingers rubbed the top of his head. "Yes you are." She started scratching underneath his chin.

Hope couldn't believe it. "This is so weird… I've never seen Lightning act so…" What was scarier than turned into a cat was the way she was coddling him. Lightning stood up and walked around his desk. She sat down in his chair. Hope followed along with her. Lightning picked him up and placed him in her lap. How was this happening? For years, he tried to get on her lap or at least the other way around.

As she continued petting him, he suddenly noticed that he was making some kind of weird noise. It shocked him. "Am I actually purring?"

Lightning smiled as she looked down at him. "Now how could your idiot owner just leave you here by yourself?"

Hope frowned as his eyes narrowed toward her. "I'm sitting right here!"

Lightning glanced over toward the clock. "Where is he anyway? It's getting late even for his workaholic standard." A frown crossed over her lips as a thought came to mind. "He better not be taken again. If he is, I'll just let the next woman keep him."

Hope was upset with her comment. "Wow thanks. Now I know how much you care about me." He settled and lied on top of her lap as he closed his eyes. "Ha! Little do you know I'm being taken by you this time."

The two relaxed as she continued stroking his head and ears. She leaned her head on her other hand. It wouldn't hurt waiting a few more minutes for Hope to come in before she would give up. "Funny. I don't remember Hope even getting a cat. If he doesn't show up, I'll just take you home with me just because you're that adorable. I might just keep you for myself."

"That actually sounds kind of nice. If I knew you were into cats so much, I would have brought you one a while ago." Hope smiled as he closed his eyes. "Then maybe I would have been "so in there!" as my voice actor always says!"

While things were quiet, Lightning remembered something and leaned forward. "Oh right." Hope looked over curiously to see what she was up to and to avoid being crushed by her chest. She reached into her pouch and pulled out a picture. She reached for the bottom drawer of his desk and pulled it open. Instantly, Hope reacted with surprise. "Maybe this might make him try a move now."

If cats could blush, Hope would. In her hand, there was a picture of just her lying on the floor almost from a top view with parts of her uniform undone and a stare saying "come and get me". She pulled out the other pictures that he had in his desk. "Let's see if the little pervert has caught anymore of me that I don't know about."

Hope blinked surprised. "How does she know about my secret drawer?"

As she flipped through the pictures, she said out loud what each one of them was. "Let's see. A couple of shower shots, but can't really make them out with the fog. A few of me sleeping. I don't see how he even broke into my house without me knowing. There's one of Vanille." Then, she held up one picture. Her face became written with confusion. "Why is there one of me in a moogle costume and why is it sticky?"

Hope closed his eyes. "Candy…Lots and lots of candy…"

Lightning shook her head and placed it back in his desk. "I really should burn these." When Lightning opened her eyes, she saw Hope's face closer to hers. At first, she looked surprised that he was so close. He was standing on his hind legs while using her chest to support him where his arms were. "Come on Light! You have to help me think of a way out of this. I can't be stuck like this forever or else, I'll never get to anything that you were saying." His head leaned against her. Once he felt the soft surface underneath him and realized where he was, he turned calmed and relaxed against her. "Maybe a few more minutes of this won't be so bad." His sharp claws began to retract in and out.

Unfortunately, the sharp points were tearing through her sweater and scratching her skin. "Stop that!" Lightning pulled him away and held him up in the air. Hope grinned nervously as he closed his eyes. Lightning sighed. "I don't know where he is, but I'm not staying here all day waiting." Lightning stood up carrying Hope in her arms. Hope relaxed against her as he closed his eyes. "It's nice not having to walk."

In Academia, they traveled back to her one bedroom apartment. After she opened the door, she dropped Hope out of her arms, letting him fall face first onto the hard floor. She was unaware that he fell asleep on the way over. He groaned, hoping that a mark wouldn't show up later.

Concerned, Lightning kneeled down and picked him up. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?" Hope let out a sound to let her know that he was fine for now. "Wow. I guess I have to be careful with you now." She rubbed the top of his head. "You're not exactly the smartest cat there is are you?"

Hope's ears flipped back as he looked upset. "Again with the insults."

Lightning placed him on the counter and went toward the fridge. "You hungry?"

With that, Hope's stomach growled. He could go for food as long as it wasn't processed death cat food. Lightning searched through her fridge. "I don't have any of that stuff that cats eat, but I'm sure some human food won't kill you right away."

Hope smiled with relief. "I'm glad she's too lazy to go buy any. I'm safe for now."

Minutes later, she sat two plates in front of them. Lightning sat down as a thought crossed her mind that concerned her somewhat. She leaned her chin on her hand. "This has to unsanitary to let a cat eat off his own plate." Soon, she shrugged the thought off. "Well crazy cat ladies do and they seem fine. I'll just wash it really good. There's no way I'm letting this ruin my floor. Speaking of floor." Lightning turned her head to Hope as she glared daggers of death. "If you do anything that is only meant for a litter box on my floor, I'll put you down myself."

Hope looked back upset. "What do you expect me to do?! Go outside like some dog?!"

Lightning stood up. "I better find something for you to go in."

Hope's eyes traveled down. "Great! Why can't I be human again? What have I done wrong in my life to deserve this?"

Lightning grabbed him which caught him by surprise. "Well…I can't avoid this. Time to go to the store. You're going with me. I'm not having my place smell because of you."

Hours later, Lightning returned as she quickly closed the door to her apartment. Her back leaned against the sturdy, now locked structure. Her pink hair was ruffled in a mess. Under her arm was Hope with his eyes closed. The fear from what happened hours earlier was slowly dying down inside of him. Lightning let out a loud sigh. Both of them returned from the pet store with bags in her hands of stuff to make Hope at home. Hope figured if he was going to be a cat for who knows how long, he might as well live comfortably. "That cat woman at the store was a crazy one. One look at you and she automatically tried to take you from me even right out of my hands."

Hope didn't want to be reminded of the constant chasing from that strange woman. Who could be that obsessed with cats? Lightning looked over at her arm and looked upset. "Thanks for scratching me up."

"What else was I supposed to do? It was a bad reaction okay." Hope closed his eyes as he sighed. "I'm never going to live this down. The humiliating of being a cat will haunt me forever. To do stuff that I would never do in public."

Lightning placed the bags down in the kitchen. She put her hand on her hip. "I'll make up this stuff later. Now would be a good time to take a bath. Get this blood and cat fur off." She walked into the hallway.

Instantly, Hope opened his eyes, surprised. "Then again it's a great day to be alive and a curious feline." He jumped down and followed after her, forgetting everything that happened once he heard the word "bath".

Minutes later, Lightning settled into a nice and warm bubble bath. From the corner where the door was, Hope peeked in to see her relaxing comfortably. He shook his head and sat down in the hall. "This is wrong. Every woman deserves her privacy and not to stared at or possibly videotaped. I won't do it. That would just be against everything I stand for."

With his sensitive ears, he heard a soft sigh. Instantly, it caught his attention. Lightning had her eyes closed as she leaned her head back against the edge of her tub. "This is a nice, every once in a while or once in a lifetime opportunity. This warm and inviting water will turn cold eventually. I guess I'll have to get out then."

Hope closed his eyes as he looked determined. "Right! Stick to what I was thinking before. It's only right…" With his tail high in the air and ears pointed up, he was going to do the right thing. "I should go make sure that she doesn't drown. What kind of guest wouldn't do that?" He stepped into the bathroom and went over to where she was. Hope jumped up on the edge on the tub.

Lightning opened her eyes and looked over. "Oh right. I forgot I brought home the furball. I guess I'm going to have bathe you eventually too. I'm not getting bit by anything you bring in."

Hope tried to step down into the water, but once a slight touch hit his paw, he instantly backed away. "What's this? It's like I dislike water even more now than before."

Lightning arched her eyebrow. "Are you trying to come in with me?" Hope held his head down, thinking it was wrong of him to try this. He should turn around and leave right then. A gentle smile came on her face as she held her hands out. "It's okay. You can come in with me if you want."

"Well she offered." Hope tried to move in, but he couldn't. His body felt stiff as if something was holding him back. He closed his eyes tight. "Dislike… of…water and …morals…getting…in way…"

Lightning wondered what was wrong with him, but then relaxed with her back against the tub. "Great. I thought I would get lucky and end up with a cat that actually likes water. You fight me at all and I'll put you down myself." Hope sighed as he closed his eyes, giving up. He jumped off of the edge and grabbed a cloth. Lightning opened her eyes once she heard a meow and looked over to see what he had in his mouth. She gave a faint smile and took it from him. "Thanks." She wet it with the warm water and placed it over her face. She slid down a little as she relaxed.

Hope smiled. At least he did something to make her happy. A few seconds later, his eyes widened. In his ears, he could hear the ringing of a bell. He closed his eyes as he placed his paws on his head. What was going on with him? His body made a loud thump on the floor after he fell back. He kept his cries to his self. About a minute later, the pain stopped. Slowly, Hope began to open his eyes. When he looked at himself, his eyes noticed skin. Surprised, he sat up as he stared at his hand. He couldn't believe it and didn't know how it happened, but he was finally human again. "I'm me again!" His eyes widened as he looked down at himself. "And I'm naked!"

Once Lightning heard his voice, she turned her head and began to lift the cloth from her eyes. "Hope?"

Hope turned his head. She couldn't know that he was there out of nowhere, or that he was her cat the whole time. Quickly, Hope took her hand away before she could open her eyes and pressed her head down into the water. More bubbles came to the surface of the water with her struggling to breathe. Her legs started kicking furiously. There was a scared expression on Hope's face. "I can't let her see me like this. She'll kill me." Hope lifted his eyes toward the ceiling. "Then again I could say that it was a surprise." After hearing himself say it out loud, he shook his head. She would never believe that. "No. I got to get out of here."

While he was trying to come up with a plan, he didn't seem to notice that the struggling Lightning that tried to get out of the water started to slow down.

Suddenly, Hope started to feel weird. His hand that he had on top of her head began to loosen and shrink. Quickly, Lightning rose her head up out of the water as she took a deep breath in. When she looked around, all she saw was Hope lying on the floor as a cat. Lightning started to get worried. "What just happened? This is like what happened to that girl in that scary movie." Lightning sat up, upset. "The undressed girl in bath. I'm not being a part of some horror movie cliché."

Hope opened his eyes. In front of him, he saw that he was back to having paws again. He moaned. He just wanted to be human again. Was that so hard? He looked over toward Lightning who looked as if she was about to get out. His eyes widened. Maybe he woke up at the right time.

Lightning held out her hand and a towel flew toward her. Quickly, she wrapped it around her body and rushed out. She was going to find the one that tried to kill her. Hope lied stunned. How did she do that? He stood up on his feet and went after her.

When he found her, she was standing in the living room with her fingers to her chin. "That's weird. It doesn't seem like someone tried to break in and I didn't hear anything before. The only other explanation is… there's something paranormal going on." She placed her hands on her hips. "Great. My apartment just got haunted. Maybe I should go."

Hope gave a dull stare as he sat on the floor. "She can't serious believe in ghosts."

Then, Lightning shook her head as she closed her eyes. "That's stupid." She turned and headed toward her bedroom. "If something else happens, I'll just stay in the house and set up cameras everywhere where the times speeds up then slows down on the videotapes and something weird happens like standing up in the doorway for hours at a time like I'm possessed. Then I'll just stay here until something eventually gets me or I get killed."

Hope sighed as he closed his eyes. "I should have taken a bathroom break while I was still human."

As night continued to pass, Lightning was lying down on her bed, getting ready to sleep. Hope jumped up on her bed and went in beside her. Lightning rubbed the top of his head. "You're sleeping here with me too?" Cheerfully, Hope responded with a meow which caused Lightning to smile. "Come on." Lightning closed her eyes.

Suddenly, she felt something pounce on her stomach. "Wow! You're a heavy one."

Behind his smile was an upset look for her comment. "Let's not go there."

Lightning got used to the weight that he put on her and closed her eyes. Then she felt something moving on her. When she opened her eyes, she saw him lift up her shirt with his teeth and he slipped underneath. The fur tickled against her stomach and made her smile. Slowly, he crept upwards as if he was stalking prey, but soon he settled. She was surprised as to where he stopped. Hope let out a smile as his eyes were closed. Now he could sleep peacefully nestled between her bosoms. "They really are soft. They make the perfect pillow."

With her finger, Lightning poked him. "Hey!" She grabbed him at his waist and tried to pull him off, but she instantly heard a growl from him. She tried again, but Hope growled again. Then she felt the tip of his claws in her skin. "Ow! You little-!" Finally, she sighed and gave up. "Fine. If I roll over and you suffocate then it's not my fault."

Hope smiled as he started to fall asleep. "Never again can I be this bold."

Hours had passed by. Hope was sound asleep against Lightning. When he tried to move his head, it was hard to. His head was trapped underneath her shirt, but he still managed to breathe. Neither did he or she know that he had changed back to human that night.

Well that's it for the first chapter! I hope that you like it so far! As always let me know what you think and I'll be back to update!