I needed this. Don't get me wrong. I love looking after Harry, but raising a two-year-old was definitely not in my plans for myself at age 22. So obviously I had to take this chance.
Here I was, on a date for the first time in forever. Not gonna lie, having a toddler in the house is the definition of a cock block. Aside from that, having Harry Potter in your house (no matter how young he might be) can be rather distracting to witches these days. Yep, you guessed it. I was on a date with a Muggle.
Clearly, I hid the fact that I was a wizard from this girl. I just wanted some adult company. More particularly, adult female company. I spent hours de-magicking this place before I went to meet her. Just, you know, in case she came back. I've never seen 12 Grimmauld place look so normal! I even pulled off a complicated little bit of magic to hide the fact that the place is normally invisible to Muggles. I'm pretty sure I put more effort into this date than I ever did into every school exam I've taken combined. Kreacher was ordered to be out of the way and silent, Hagrid was watching Harry, nothing could go wrong.
I took the girl, Brittany was her name, to some fancy Muggle restaurant. We ate, drank, had a good time. I didn't slip up once in keeping the whole magic thing a secret, even when it came time to pay the bill in Muggle money. When the date was over, I offered to walk her home but it was she who suggested we go back to my place. I could hardly believe it!
When we got to my block, she did seem a little suspicious. I guess that's a bad Muggle neighborhood. However, when we got inside, she looked all around the entrance hall. I was so nervous I'd forgot to take down one of the elf heads or something.
"This is not what I expected for a house in this neighborhood," she said curiously. She was gorgeous. Something about being an amateur model working at a coffee shop until she got her big break. I'm not sure; I wasn't really paying attention. She was wearing some low cut top that was a little distracting.
"Oh, yeah. I don't know I guess the house was here before the neighborhood built up. Been in my family for ages," I was trying to let this slide without too many questions and prayed to God Kreacher was taking his orders seriously.
"Hmm, cool!" that must have been a good enough answer for her.
"C'mon, I'll show you to the sitting room and I'll get us drinks," I led her out of the entrance hall and to one of the rooms. I showed her to one of the couches in the most normal-looking sitting room in the house.
"Very Victorian," she said. I had no idea what the hell that meant (something Muggle I'm sure) but I just smiled and nodded, "no television?"
Shit. I forgot all about all of that stuff. TV's, phones, whatever.
"Oh, no. I, you know, don't have much time for all that being a writer and such," over dinner I decided that was a good profession to make up seeming she didn't seem like a girl who read very much.
Before she could ask any more questions, I went to the kitchen. I'd bought some Muggle alcohol because I figured firewhiskey might be a little strange to her. At least I was prepared there. I poured us each a glass and went back to the sitting room.
"So, Brittany. Did you have fun tonight?" I asked her, giving her the most charming look I could pull off. Not to brag, but I'm good at that, Muggle or witch.
"Of course I did. Did you?" she smirked, taking the glass I offered her as I took a seat next to her.
"Well, I don't know. You tell me," I replied, pulling her towards me and kissing her softly but passionately. It was nice to finally kiss a girl again rather than being slobbered all over by a baby.
That seemed to be all the invitation she needed because she didn't break the kiss even when I tried to pull away. She let her tongue slip inside my mouth and wrestle with mine. As my hands began to wander down her body, I almost was able to forget about the fact that I was trying to hide a huge secret from this girl. Almost.
Just as my handed began to slip under the hem of her shirt, she pulled away.
"What was that?" she seemed alarmed.
"What was what?" I replied. God only knows what it could have been.
"Something out in the hall was moving!" she pointed to the doorway of the sitting room. I had a bad feeling about this.
"I'll go check," I said, trying to sound calm. This had Kreacher written all over it.
Sure enough, when I went out to the entrance hall, Kreacher was there, putting the severed elf heads back in their place.
"Oh no. Mistress would not like this. Mistress would be proud of Kreacher. Mistress would say 'good Kreacher, very good Kreacher' putting Kreacher's ancestors back in their places. Filthy little blood traitor. No wonder Mistress disowned him"
"KREACHER!" I whispered in the sternest possible tone I could muster without raising my voice. I'd kill that elf.
"Oh, master," said Kreacher, bowing low to the ground while rolling his eyes.
"Get out of here! Didn't I tell you stay hidden and quiet!?" this was unreal.
"Master told Kreacher not to be seen nor heard. But Master did not tell Kreacher to go back on his Mistress' orders," the elf replied.
"WHAT ORDERS?" I needed to make a mental note to buy every piece of clothing in the world for this elf.
"Kreacher's mistress told him to make sure the Black family heirlooms remained on the walls even when she passed. Kreacher is putting them back where they belong," he replied.
"Alright, well I'm telling you to get out! Now!" I didn't care where he went as long as it wasn't here.
"Yes, master" and with a crack, he was gone.
I took a deep breath to compose myself and went back to the sitting room. Brittany looked up at me, clearly confused.
"I'm sorry," I should have thought up some excuse while I was still in the hall, "that was my…my dog! He hates strangers and was scared. It's fine now!"
"Oh, I love animals! I want to meet him!" she answered. Shit.
"Oh, no no. He's in his crate he's not friendly…or cute at all!" at least that was the truth. I sat back down next to her and wrapped an arm around her, "now where were we?"
We started making out again, this time moving a little faster. I let my hands wander up her shirt and grab a handful of her perky boobs. I couldn't wait to get her shirt off as she kissed my neck and slipped my own shirt above me head. Just as I was about to make the move to get her shirtless too, there was a loud knock at the door. I feared for the worst. When I didn't respond right away, whoever was there knocked again, louder. I jumped up and put my shirt back on, afraid that if I didn't answer soon whoever was on the other side of the door would expose the magical world to the Muggle sitting in my living room.
I got to the entrance hall and swung the door open. On the other side was none other than Hagrid, holding a bundle of blankets that I assumed to be my sleeping godson.
"Hagrid! What the bloody hell are you doing here?!" he was supposed to keep Harry until the morning!
"Aye Sirius! Kreacher told me you were feeling lonely without the little tyke and wanted him back so I had to bring him, didn't I? Soon I'll get to keep him all night I reckon now that he's older. We had a great time we did playing with—"
"Kreacher told you to bring him back?!" I really needed to word my orders to that elf more carefully.
"Yep! Well I won't bother yer too much! He's asleep the little guy is! Better get him upstairs!" Hagrid dumped the bundle of blankets into my arms and disappeared off in the darkness. I was dumbfounded, standing in the open doorway.
As sneakily and quietly as I could, I tried to get Harry upstairs to his crib, praying he wouldn't wake up. Just as I got to the landing in the stairs, he stirred and pushed the blankets away from his little face.
"Sir-us," he muttered sleepily. Any other time this would have been adorable but it was the last thing I needed at that moment.
"Hey buddy! Shhh it's night night time!" I whispered. The last thing I needed was for Brittany to hear a crying baby.
"No, no bed!" he whimpered. Good God.
"Yes, bedtime! Here's your prongs!" I put him down in the crib, shoved his stuffed stag in his arms, and ran out the door before he could protest further.
I hurried back to the sitting room where Brittany was still sitting on the couch, looking around impatiently.
"I'm so sorry…that was…the mail man!" I hurriedly lied.
"This late on a Saturday?" she asked suspiciously.
"Well, you know!" I had no idea when the Muggle post delivered so before she could respond, I stuck my tongue down her throat. She didn't seem to mind, considering soon we were right back to where we left off.
Before long, we were both in just our underwear and I knew it was time for me to seal the deal.
"C'mon, let's go to the bedroom," I whispered heavily in her ear, sure that my arousal was apparent through my boxers. She jumped up off the couch and grabbed my hand. I led her up the stairs, through the hall, and into my room. She pushed me down on the bed and climbed on top of me, just the thin fabric of our underwear separating her grinding pelvis from my rock hard manhood. I kissed her neck hungrily and moved toward the hook of her bra. It'd been far too long since I'd been with a woman like this.
Finally, I was about to get her undressed and finished what I'd started tonight. A rush of adrenalin added to the moment knowing I was about to do unspeakable things with a Muggle in the oh so sacred noble and most ancient house of Black. My old parents were probably rolling in their graves. Despite everything that went wrong, I was going to close with her. Until…
A second before I was able to unhook her bra, I heard the door creak open ever so slightly. We both sat up, startled, and I pulled the comforter over our half-naked bodies.
At first, I thought no one was there and the door had opened on its own. Then, I looked down and saw a little boy with messy black hair. Harry must have crawled (or magicked) his way out of his crib. He's been doing that lately when he not too keen on being put to bed.
"Sir-us, I no tired," he looked up at us.
"Harry, buddy you need to go back to bed!" I absolutely did not know what to do. My infant godson was standing in my doorway while I had a nearly naked woman in my bed.
"You…you have a baby?" Brittany asked. I couldn't read her tone. This could be bad.
"No, I don't! I mean, yes I have a kid! But he's not mine… I mean, he is! But, but he's my godson. I have him, all the time…I mean I raise him, he lives here! But…" this was a disaster.
"How sweet! I love kids! Come here buddy!" she slipped on my t-shirt and opened her arms, beckoning for Harry. Harry laughed and ran towards her and climbed up on the bed with us.
"Aww, you are too sweet! But, what's this on your head?" she spotted his scar. Why does this shit always happen to me?
"Scar!" he pointed to the little lightning bolt on his forehead.
"He, he likes to play with knives when I'm not looking," what the hell else was I supposed to say?
"Little buddy! That's no good! It's a wonder you haven't hurt yourself more! You're a lucky little boy!" she cooed, cuddling him as he laughed and tried to put his finger up my nose.
"Yeah, he's some kind of wizard or something," I muttered, falling backwards onto my pillow. Maybe my next date would go a little more smoothly.