Opening Montage

Music: "Overprotected" by Britney Spears

We first see Quinn walking on a sidewalk. Her pace quickens as the music picks up. Next, we see her in the halls of Lawndale High talking with the former Fashion Club. This is followed by her being praised by Mr. DeMartino while Sandi stares daggers at her. Afterward we see her getting more attention from Helen and Jake than she either wants or needs. The next shot is Quinn being followed by the three J's. Next, we see her hanging out on Dega Street with Jane and Lindy. Montage ends with Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Beneath that we see the title.

Quinn

in

"Beauty Quinn"

Story by

WildDogJJ

Act I

Scene 1

Ext. Shot: Lawndale High, afternoon

Music: "Mammals" by Wilco

Int. Shot: School Library

We see freshman Sam Griffin seated at one of the computers. He is alone and stares intently at the screen. We don't see what he is looking at but we hear...

Male Voice: (coming from computer) Ugh...Ugh...you...like...that...Ugh...Ugh...dontcha...

Female Voice: (also coming from computer) AH...oh...yes...yes...YES...

Close up of Sam's face shows his expression to be a lecherous grim.

Sam: Whoa, this is hot!

Just then we hear a loud beeping noise coming from the computer. From Sam's POV we see the following:

WARNING: MALICIOUS SOFTWARE DOWNLOADED. THIS COMPUTER AND ALL CONNECTED DEVICES INFECTED!

We now see a panicked look on Sam's face.

Sam: OH, NO!

He immediately runs out of the place to avoid getting busted for using a school computer to view online porn.

Scene 2

Int. Shot: Ms. Li's office

We see Mrs. Bennet seated in front of Ms. Li's desk pouring over the school budget while a very displeased Ms. Li sits behind the desk.

Ms. Li: ...so now we need a team of professionals to fix every computer in the school.

Mrs. Bennet: Well, we had an emergency fund set up for these kinds of occurrances, but the money seems to have disappeared.

Ms. Li: The original funds were unfortunately needed elsewhere.

Mrs. Bennet: What do you mean?

Ms. Li: Do you have any idea how much it costs to equip all of the surveillence cameras with X-ray technology?

Mrs. Bennet sighs. Of course Ms. Li would consider something like that more important than IT maintenance.

Mrs. Bennet: I guess a fund raiser would help. How about another Medieval Fair?

Ms. Li: (accusing tone) You mean like last time when a riot broke out in the auditorium?

Mrs. Bennet looks dismayed yet understanding.

Mrs. Bennet: I see your point.

It is at this point that Ms. Li gets an idea.

Ms. Li: I remember the bridal expo went off without any problems. So did the mother-daughter fashion show. We'll do something similar. Something that will restore the honor and glory of Llllaaawwndale High.

Scene 3

Int. Shot: Mr. DeMartino's classroom

The class is discussing the Civil War.

Mr. DeMartino: So as you can SEE, the Civil War was not as SIMPLE as the issue of SLAVERY. There were many other FACTORS involved and the fundamental QUESTION was national PRIMACY verses states rights. Can someone point out the core differences that DROVE this nation to WAR? Someone who's last NAME isn't Morgendorffer.

From Mr. DeMartino's POV we see that the class includes Quinn, Sandi, and Kevin. Kevin has his hand raised.

Mr. DeMartino: Yes, Kevin.

Kevin: Like, the real question was whether or not America was one nation or a collection of several. Like, are we the NFL or one team?

Mr. DeMartino is very impressed.

Mr. DeMartino: A very astute, if LOW BROW, observation. You are CORRECT, the question was one of NATIONAL unity. I see that being TUTORED by Miss Morgendorffer has benefitted you TREMENDOUSLY.

Quinn smiles proudly at Kevin while Sandi stares daggers at Quinn.

Ms. Li: (Intercom VO) Attention, students. Due to an unanticipated budget shortfall the school is going to be having a fundraiser that if successful could become an annual tradition: the Miss Lawndale High Beauty Pageant. Entry in this compettition is open to all female members of the senior class. All others must either voluntarily purchase a ticket or voluntarily take a full point deduction in their GPA. That is all, you may resume learning.

Quinn and Sandi both smirk while Mr. DeMartino grows irritated.

Mr. DeMartino: It would appear that relying on your LOOKS takes precedence over a SOLID EDUCATION. My attempts to impart WISDOM are constantly drowned in a SEA OF SUPERFICIALITY!

Kevin: Um...Mr. D.

Mr. DeMartino: Yes, Kevin?

Kevin: What's superficiality?

Both of Mr. DeMartino's eyes bulge in response to Kevin's stupidity relapse.

Mr. DeMartino: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Scene 4

Int. Shot: School Hallway

Music: "I'm Every Woman" covered by Whitney Houston

We see Sandi and Quinn walking and talking.

Sandi: This is the perfect opportunity for me to demonstrate that while I am no longer President of the Fashion Club I still have an impeccable sense of style. I am, after all, the most beautiful young woman at this school.

Quinn is visibly annoyed by Sandi's massive ego. It awakens Quinn's compettitive streak.

Quinn: Sandi, what if you don't win? Especially if you lose to a friend. A friend who happens to be just as, if not more, good looking than you.

Sandi: (Angry) Excuse me, but everyone knows that I am a shoo in, or whatever. (She smirks) However, if you don't think you can handle it you can simply refuse to enter.

Quinn now gets quite peeved.

Quinn: Oh, I'll enter alright. I just hope you're not a sore loser.

Sandi defiantly folds her arms.

Sandi: You're the one who needs to worry about losing.

Quinn: I beg to differ.

Sandi: (icy) You're going down.

Quinn: Bring it, bitch.

The two girls eye each other angrily for a moment.

Sandi: Perhaps after I win you'll finally show me proper respect.

Afterward, Sandi gets in line to sign up for the competition. Quinn waits until one more person gets in line before doing so herself.

Scene 5

Ext. Shot: Morgendorffer House, evening

Int. Shot: Morgendorffer Kitchen

Quinn, Helen and Jake are seated at the table. It's Quinn's turn to make dinner, which means they're eating something other than microwave lasagna or some concoction unfit for human consumption. Quinn is talking about the beauty pagaent.

Quinn: So, like, now both me and Sandi are in this thing. I can't wait to see the look on her face when I'm crowned Miss Lawndale High. It'll be a dream come true.

Jake reads the paper and tries to tune out the conversation. Helen looks disapprovingly at Quinn.

Helen: Quinn, you know how I feel about such competitions. They just play into the old stereotype of women as sex objects and I've raised both you and Daria to be better than that. A truly enlightened society would prize talent and character above appearence.

Quinn: The pageant recognizes the importance of both. The competition has a talent segment and a Q and A about academics as well as contributions to the community. I know you're big on gender equality but the fact remains that women are judged by looks first and that's never going to change.

Helen let's out an exasperated sigh.

Helen: Jake, I could use some help here.

Jake looks at his watch.

Jake: (nervously) Oh, gee, look at the time. I need to call a client.

Jake starts to get up out of his seat while Helen clearly isn't buying his excuse.

Helen: (sharp tone) Sit down, Jake!

Jake nervously sits down.

Helen: I want you to help me explain to Quinn that she shouldn't enter a competition based on looks and paying only lip service to the important things.

Jake's face darkens, as if an unwanted memory has just crept up to the surface.

Jake: (angry) Oh, I know all about that attitude. I remember my father telling me "son, when her looks start to go get a mistress" and "looks are what make a woman, you can beat the rest into her later" or "HOW DARE YOU LET THAT COMMIE SLUT TURN YOU INTO A HIPPIE, YOU'RE NO SON OF MINE". OLD MAD DOG JUST COULDN'T STAND TO TREAT PEOPLE LIKE HUMAN BEINGS! (Jake looks at the floor) BURN IN HELL, OLD MAN!

Helen is visibly annoyed. The last thing anyone needs right now is another rant about Jake's father.

Helen: JAKE, CALM DOWN THIS INSTANT!

This immediately snaps Jake out of his rant. He now looks embarrassed.

Jake: Sorry. Um...What were we talking about?

Helen let's oout an exasperated sigh.

Quinn: Muh-om, I'm doing this to show up Sandi. She needs to be, like, taken down a peg.

Helen: I thought you and Sandi were friends?

Quinn decides to play her trump card.

Quinn: We are, but she really needs to learn that she's not the goddess she thinks she is. Besides, what would her mom say if she was in the pageant and I wasn't?

This ignites Helens own compettitive instincts.

Helen: Well, I'm still not entirely comfortable with this whole thing but you have my full encouragement and support. (Under her breath.) Like I'm gonna let Linda win this one.

Scene 6

Ext. Shot: Lawndale High, morning.

Music: "What a Girl Wants" by Christina Aguilera.

Int. Shot: School hallway.

Quinn and Stacy are talking on their way to class.

Quinn: So, I'm in the pageant now.

Stacy: That's so cool, Quinn. Did I tell you I'm covering it for the paper?

Quinn: Really, that's great.

Quinn suddenly looks thoughtful.

Quinn: Um, Stacy.

Stacy: Yes?

Quinn: You don't think I'm, like, relapsing, do you?

Stacy: What do you mean?

Quinn: You know, turning back into a shallow airhead. I mean, my mom did have a point. This whole thing is kind of silly and superficial.

Stacy: Quinn, it's just a school fundraiser. Wanting to be recognized for your looks isn't a bad thing. It's not like you plan on...

The conversation is suddenly interrupted by a very nasal, and familiar, voice.

Voice: (Offscreen) OH, LADIEEEESSSS!

Quinn and Stacy both stop in their tracks. They, and we, know that voice all too well. We see them turn around and gasp. From their POV we see that it is none other than Upchuck. He approaches them with that trademark sleazy grin of his.

Upchuck: No, you're lovely eyes do not decieve. The Don Juan de Lawndale has returned.

End Act I.

Act II

Scene 1

Int. Shot: School hallway

We see Quinn and Stacy stare in horror and disbelief as Upchuck approaches them. Especially since he was supposed to be away at college.

Upchuck: Why, my loveliess, your even more ravishing than I remember. Sweet Stacy and the ever so sexy Quinn. It's ever so delightful to see you beautiful ladies again. Who wishes to get re-acquainted with Senor Suavecito?

Stacy: (sounding surprised and suspiciously upbeat) Chuck, I thought you were at State U?

Upchuck: When I heard that the school was hosting a beauty pageant I simply had to offer my services as a host and DJ. I am also willing to offer you lovelies services of a more...erotic nature.

Stacy: (very unconvincing) EWWW! No way!

Quinn: In your dreams, creep.

Upchuck: GRRR! Feisty! That's such a turn-on.

With that, Upchuck leaves. Quinn and Stacy both look dismayed.

Quinn: How'd you put up with him when you helped him with that magic show last year?

Stacy: It was easy once I realized he was all talk. He can actually be a real gentleman when he wants to be.

Quinn: If only he'd be like that in public. At least he wouldn't creep us out.

Stacy: He just gets like that when he's nervous, to make himself seem more confident. There's a lot about him you don't know.

Quinn has an odd look on her face. If she didn't know better she'd think Stacy was actually defending Upchuck.

Quinn: (Thought VO) To each their own, I guess.

Scene 2

Ext. Shot: Lane House, afternoon

Int. Shot: Jane's room

We see Jane and Quinn seated on Jane's bed watching something on TV. Next, we see the TV screen with an image of two very attractive teenage girls holding hands and gazing affectionately at each other.

TV announcer: They were the most popular girls in school and frenimies. Now they're a hot lesbian couple. Mean girls in love, next on Sick, Sad World.

Now we see Quinn and Jane again. Jane looks unfazed but Quinn, for once, is more curious than disgusted.

Quinn: That's the second lesbian love story in as many weeks. What's with these guys?

Jane: The writers must read a lot of lesbian erotica, or someone just has a twisted sense of humor.

Quinn: Well, it is a little ironic given my current situation. I'm in a beauty pagaent to one up one of my friends. One who's also my enemy sometimes.

Jane: Sandi Griffin, Lawndale High's Queen of Mean. How can I help?

Quinn: The pagaent includes a talent competition. I used to do ballet and gymnastics back in Highland. In fact, when I started at Lawndale High I briefly concidered trying out for Cheerleading and Dance Team. So I decided my talent would be an interpretive dance.

Jane: Sounds interesting. I might actually turn up for this one.

Quinn looks worried, which Jane notices.

Jane: Don't worry, I won't embarrass you. I'll keep the true nature of our association a secret.

Quinn: I'm not worried about that. My popularity is damn near untouchable. I'm worried you'll be too disinterested to help.

Jane: Your concerns are unfounded. I'm always a supportive friend, even when being supportive involves enduring torture. Besides, I like where this is going. Please, continue.

Quinn: For my interprative dance I need a costume and music. That's where you and Trent come in.

Jane: While I can certainly deliver on the costume, I suggest looking elsewhere for music. Me and Daria learned the hard way just how unreliable Trent can be when we enlisted his aid for a school project our Junior year.

Quinn thinks this over for a moment and sees Jane's point.

Quinn: Lindy has some friends who are into music. I'll ask her.

Scene 3

Ext. Shot: Griffin House, afternoon

Music: "She's on Fire" by Deborah Harry

Int. Shot: Living Room

We see Sandi and Tiffany on the couch. Sandi is reading lines from a script while Tiffany applies makeup.

Sandi: (horribly fake Cuban accent) So say goodnight to the bad guy. You never gonna see another bad guy like me again, tell you what. (She looks up and returns to her regular voice) Um, Tiffany, why'd you recommend a monologue from "Scarface"? That's so not me.

Tiffany continues to touch up her makeup as she speaks.

Tiffany: Robert...said...iiit...waass...a...gooooodd...moovie.

Sandi: Tiffany, dear, romantic movies are good. An eighties gangster movie is just plain garbage.

Tiffany: Soorrryy...(she puts up her makeup) Does...this...eyeshadow...maake...my...face...look...faat?

Sandi let's out an exasperated sigh. We then see her mother, Linda, enter the room.

Linda: Sandi, I couldn't help overhearing. Why not do Juliet's lines from the famous balcony scene? Or better yet, a monologue from "A Streetcar Named Desire". After all, you must win this.

Sandi looks annoyed by her mother's statement of the obvious.

Sandi: I know, mother. I will win.

Linda: You'd better. No daughter of mine will finish second, especially to that Morgendorffer brat. You need to regain your lost status.

Linda leaves. Closeup of Sandi shows her with a very nervous expression that shows that she's feeling the pressure.

Scene 4

Ext. Shot: Lindy's place, evening

Int. Shot: Lindy's kitchen

Lindy and Quinn are seated at the kitchen table. Linby has what appears to be a scotch on the rocks by her side but she's not drunk, yet. Quinn has just told her about the pagaent.

Quinn: ...so Jane's doing my dance costume and I need your help with the music.

Lindy: Why not just use a song from your endless collection of bad but danceable pop music?

Lindy's tone seems a little snide, which Quinn chalks up to the booze.

Quinn: Because that's too obvious a choice. I'd like to wow the judges with an element of surprise.

Lindy's face lights up with an idea.

Lindy: I might have just the thing. Wait here a sec, okay.

Lindy gets up and goes to her room. Quinn apprehensively looks at Lindy's half-finished scotch, knowing she won't stop at one or two. Lindy returns with a discman that she hands to Quinn as she sits down.

Lindy: This is the latest album by an all-girl rock band out of California. They're a little poppy but still rock hard.

Quinn puts the headphones on.

Lindy: Go to the second track, it's the most energetic.

Quinn presses the skip button on the discman and listens intently. She begins to lightly nod her head to the music as her face lights up. She then shuts off the discman and removes the headphones.

Quinn: Lindy, it's perfect! Thanks.

Lindy: Glad to be of service.

Quinn looks at the drink in Lindy's hand and is visibly worried as Lindy takes a too big gulp.

Quinn: Um...Lindy, I don't mean to nag but how many is that.

Lindy: Just one. I'm not going crazy anymore.

Quinn's expression indicates that she knows Lindy's lying.

Scene 5

Ext. Shot: Lawndale High, evening

Music: "Unpretty" by TLC

Int. Shot: auditorium, backstage area

We see Quinn walking in a sparkling pink gown. She's soon approached by Sandi in a sparkling blue gown. The two cross paths and eye each other cooly.

Sandi: (catty tone) Gee, Quinn, pink, how original.

Quinn: (icy) Don't you have better things to do than put me down, or have you come to conciede rather than suffer humiliation.

Sandi glares menacingly at Quinn.

Sandi: Oh, no, Quinn. I just came to wish you luck...(her tone turns very sarcastic)...not that you'll need it.

Sandi continues to walk in the opposite direction as Quinn stares daggers at her.

Quinn: (Thought VO) Bitch!

Quinn continues to walk forward when she notices the door to the prop room is open. Out of curiosity she peeks inside. She immediately gasps. Next, from her POV we see Stacy and Upchuck...Making Out!

Quinn: EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

This startles both Stacy and Upchuck, who immediately end their embrace and both gasp in horror.

Stacy: EEP!

Upchuck: (very nervous) Um... We can explain.

End Act II

Act III

Scene 1

Int. Shot: Prop room in the backstage area of the Lawndale High auditorium.

We see Stacy and Upchuck, who were just caught making out by Quinn, shake nervously while Quinn stares in total shock and disbelief.

Quinn: OHMYGOD! Upchuck...your...hand...on her ass...Stacy...arms around him...kissing...with tongue...EWWWWW!

Upchuck: (sheepish) It's...well...you see...

Stacy: OH,GOD! OH, GOD! Quinn, please don't tell anyone.

Quinn now eyes them both with a mixture of suspicion and curiousity.

Quinn: Just how long has this been going on?

Upchuck: Um...well...you see...

Stacy: We're just friends.

Quinn doesn't buy it.

Quinn: I don't recall you and me ever playing seven minutes in heaven.

Upchuck: But it's true.

Quinn gives him the most lethal death stare she can muster. It's so intense that Upchuck actually flinches.

Upchuck: EEP!

Stacy: It started last year when I helped him with his magic act. Remember when I told you he's not really the total sleaze he pretends to be? Well, it's true, he just acts that way to look more confident. We actually have alot in common. We've secretly been friends since then.

Quinn: And your secret friendship includes sneaking off to make out?

Stacy: No! I mean, yeah, we've flirted a little but that's all. What you saw was a spur of the moment thing. We were just talking, one thing led to another and...and...

Quinn starts to get a sinister suspicion of how it played out.

Quinn: He grabbed you and kissed you.

Upchuck blushes at this point while Stacy suddenly beams proudly.

Stacy: Actually, it was the other way around.

Quinn is visibly shocked.

Quinn: Stacy!

Stacy: Look, Quinn, you don't know him like I do. I still think it's creepy when he's being Upchuck, but I know he's not really like that. Once you get past Upchuck he's actually really sweet.

This causes Quinn to have a flashback.

Flashback

Quinn is in Daria's room crying to her sister over David's rejection of her.

Daria: You really liked him, huh?

Quinn nods.

Daria: Well, he certainly isn't what we intellectuals call a totally buff hottie. So if you saw past his looks you can't be that shallow.

End Flashback

Quinn: (thought VO) It was really the same thing with my feelings for David. (out loud) I see your point. (She takes a deep breath) Don't worry, I'll keep this a secret.

Stacy and Upchuck both breathe a huge sigh of relief.

Stacy: OH, Thank You!

Upchuck: Thanks.

Scene 2

Ext. Shot: Lawndale High, evening

Music: "Pretty Woman" covered by Van Halen

Int. Shot: Auditorium

We see a packed house. In front of the regular seats is a panel of judges seated at a table. Above the stage is a banner that reads:

Miss Lawndale High Beauty Contest

Class of 2001

We next see Upchuck walk onstage in a ranted tuxedo carrying a microphone. Closeup of his lecherous grin shows him to be in full Upchuck mode.

Upchuck: Ladies and Gentlemen, especially ladies grrr, welcome to the first annual Miss Lawndale High Beauty Contest. I'm your host, Charles Ruttheimer the Third: Ladies Man Extraordinare, a true connisuer of all things female. I'm single, by the way, so don't hesitate to approach me after the show. I'm the man of your dreams. Lets have a round of applause for our talented panel of judges.

We now see that the panel consists of Claude, Romonica, Dr. Shar and Marco the talcom powder model. We hear half-hearted applause from the audience before the camera once again focuses on Upchuck.

Upchuck: And, now the moment you've all been waiting for. Let's meet our luscious ladies.

Shot of the audience shows Stacy giggle as she takes notes. Camera then focuses back on the stage as the curtain lifts to reveal the contestants. All are wearing sequinced gowns and their hair appears to be expertly done. In addition to Quinn and Sandi there is also Tiffany, Tori (blonde gossip girl from "The Invitation"), Brooke and five others of such little note as to not be worth mentioning.

Upchuck: Our first contestant, the angelically blond lovely, Tori Jerhico.

Tori does a catwalk across the stage as Upchuck continues.

Upchuck: The ever so delectable Ms. Jerhico is the gossip columnist for our very own school newspaper, the Lawndale Lowdown. If it's juciy, she knows all about it.

Tori finishes her catwalk as the audience applauds.

Upchuck: Our next luscious lady, the brunette beauty, Sandi Griffin.

Sandi does a very regal catwalk across the stage.

Upchuck: The ever so hot Miss Griffin is the former President of the Lawndale High Fashion Club and daughter of WSBC-TV marketing director Linda Griffin.

The applause is less enthusiastic than expected as Sandi finishes her catwalk.

Upchuck: Our next contestant, the ravishing redhead, Quinn Morgendorffer.

Thunderous applause and praise come from the audience as Quinn does her catwalk.

Upchuck: The beuatious and passionate Miss Morgendorffer is noted for her combination of beauty, brains and compassion. In addition to having a 3.95 GPA she spends her spare time tutoring her fellow students and has a noted soft spot for animals.

Joey: (Offscreen VO) Go, Quinn, Go!

Jeffy: (Offscreen VO) You rule, Quinn!

Jamie: (Offscreen VO) Marry me, Quinn!

Scene 3

Int. Shot: Lawndale High auditorium

We see that it is now the swimsuit competition. Tiffany is doing a sultry catwalk in a modest yet form flattering aqua blue bikini. She finishes her catwalk and exits the stage as Upchuck grins lecherously. The audience applauds.

Upchuck: Well, that was an exotic beauty with the moves of a sex kitten, meow. And now for our next sexy lady, Sandi Griffin.

We now see Sandi appear on stage in a black string bikini that leaves little too the imagination. As see seductively walks across the stage she stops at various points to do a suggestive pose. The only thing keeping her from being disqualified is the fact that her bikini's not a thong. Close up shows her grinning seductively at the judges as we wonder how she avoids having a nip-slip. Backstage shot shows a robe clad Quinn shaking her head in disgust at Sandi's obvious attempt to gain an advantage by arousing the male judges. Never mind the fact that there are only two male judges and one of them is gay.

Quinn: (Thought VO) Slut!

We see Sandi exit the stage to applause (and alot of cat calls from the guys in the audience). Upchuck returns to the center.

Upchuck: Well, that certainly made my blood boil. I'll be sure to to inspect that hot body personally after the show. And now for our next contestant...

Backstage shot shows Quinn untie her robe befor the camera once again pans over the main stage.

Upchuck: ...Quinn Morgendorffer.

We see Quinn emerge in a blue and white striped bikini that is a lot more modest than the slut strings Sandi had sported. She is just as sexy in her catwalk but in a girl next door way rather than Sandi's "I'm fast and easy" vibe. Quinn's vibe is more "You want more you have to earn it". Face shot of judges shows them to be visibly impressed. Quinn has clearly won this round. She exits the stage with a sweet wave to the audience.

Scene 4

Int. Shot: Lawndale High auditorium

We see Tori onstage singing "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion. She's nailing it perfectly. Behind her we see that the curtain is drawn because they're setting up foe the next act.

Int. Shot: backstage

We see Quinn looking nervous while Jane and Lindy are there. Quinn is wearing a black gymnastics leotard with an image of a pink guiter on the front (Janes idea) with ballet slippers and leg warmers. As Jane admires her handiwork Lindy offers words of encouragement.

Lindy: Don't worry, Quinn. You'll do great out there.

Quinn: Are you sure? I mean an interpretive dance to a rock song is a little unusual.

Lindy: That's what makes it so genius. They expect Britney Spears, they won't expect the Donnas.

Jane nods her agreement.

Jane: The more you stand out the better.

Quinn: Thanks, guys.

Lindy pulls a flask out of her jacket and takes a swig. Quinn looks on with concern.

Int. Shot: Main stage.

We see that upchuck is in a DJ booth as Tori walks off stage.

Upchuck: Thank you for gracing us with your lovely voice, among other things, Miss Jerhico. And now, a gymnastic dance by the ever so...limber, brrrow...Miss Morgendorffer.

The curtain lifts and wee see a balance beam, floor mats, and a ring stand. Quinn stands at the center of the beam with her head tilted back and arms outstretched.

Song: "Do You Wanna Hit It" by The Donnas

At the first drum beat Quinn claps her hands together as if in prayer. At the second drum beat Quinn snaps her head forwaor. As the music begins in earnest Quinn does a series of backflips from one end of the balance beam to the other. She leaps off and forward and lands on her feet.

"Another friday night with contraband, waiting for my plane to land"

We see Quinn spin on the tip of her right foot.

"Have a sip of this Jack and mixer, watch the Lakers beat the sixers"

Quinn jumps and lands on her knees. She then powerslides forward.

"I'm tired of hitting on you, it's about time to be getting on you"

Quinn stands up and seemlessly sways her hips side to side with her arms above her head.

"All messed up and I don't care, so c'mon take off your underwear"

Quinn headbangs once then backflips over the balance beam and grabs the rings on the ringstand.

"Give me one more hit (C'mon), Just one more hit (C'mon)"

Quinn rapidly spins her lege in a counter clockwise motion, expertly lifting her arms and allowing her legs to pass under, never once losing time with the music.

"Got enough to split it, do you wanna hit it"

Quinn launches herself off of the rings and does a mid-air split. She lands in front of the balance beam and without missing a beat sways her hips while banging her head.

"We're never gonna quit it, do you wanna hit it"

The crowd bursts out into wild cheers of "Go, Quinn, Go". A quick shot of the backstage area shows Sandi looking furious. Finally the song ends.

"Do you wanna hit it"

Quinn does one last knee slide and raises a fist in the air. Next we see the whole crowd go wild and burst into thunderous applause. Even the judges stand up and applaud. Next shot is a closeup of Stacy cheering wildly. Then we see Lindy and Jane applauding backstage. Finally, a closeup of Sandi looking totally demoralized.

Scene 5

Int. Shot: The Auditorium.

We see all ten contestants in their gowns once again. Upchuck is back onstage with his microphone. We see Ms. Li hand him an envelope.

Upchuck: And now the moment you've all been waiting for. Our judges have decided.

Close up of the contestants reveals Sandi and Quinn exchanging mean looks. Upchuck opens the envelope.

Upchuck: Miss Lawndale High for the class of 2001 is...Tori Jerhico.

Tori's face lights up with pure joy and excitement. Quinn and Sandi are both in wide eyed, open mouthed shock. The Judges walk onto the stage. Romonica places a tiara on Tori's head while Claude drapes a blue sash with the title "Miss Lawndale High" embroidered in yellow letters over her shoulder and Marco hands her a jeweled sceptor. Quinn and Sandi continue to stare in shock as Upchuck hands Tori the microphone.

Tori: Oh, Like, Wow, this is sooo totally amazing. It's a dream come true. I'd like to first thank God for blessing me. Mom and Dad for having and raising me. The rest of my family and friends for believing in me and loving me no matter what. Finally, Lawndale High for being such a great school with such cool classmates. You guys rule!

Everyone applauds. Sandi keeps her arms folded and looks pissed until she sees that Quinn is applauding. Sandi applauds too but still looks pissed off.

Scene 6

Ext. Shot: Lawndale High, daytime

Int. Shot: School hallway.

Quinn and Stacy are walking and talking.

Stacy: I'm so sorry you didn't win, Quinn.

Quinn: That's alright. At least Sandi didn't win either. Maybe now she'll realize it's not all about her. Besides, it was just a stupid beauty pageant. And you got your first headline story out of it.

Quinn looks around to make sure no one is in earshot.

Quinn: By the way, about you and Upc...I mean Chuck. I've had some time to get used to the idea. If he makes you happy that's all that matters.

Stacy: Actually, we had a talk after the show and decided to just be friends.

Quinn is now very curious.

Quinn: But why?

Stacy: Well, there's the fact that he's at State U while I'm still here. Also, we agreed that we couldn't deal with the damage to my reputation if it got out. So we decided to just be friends and if in the future circumstances make something more a possibility we'll explore it then.

Quinn: But what if one of you, most likely you, finds someone else before then.

Stacy: Then all I'll be is friends with Chuck. Bottom line, we both agreed a steady relationship with each other just isn't practical right now.

Quinn looks thoughtful.

Scene 7

Ext. Shot: Griffin House, night

Sam: (Offscreen VO) Whoa! Internet porn rules!

Sandi: (Offscreen VO) Sam, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ON MY COMPUTER!?

We then hear a loud beeping sound.

Computer Voice: (Offscreen) WARNING: MALICIOUS SOFTWARE HAS BEEN DOWNLOADED ONTO THIS COMPUTER!

Sandi: (Offscreen VO) WHY YOU LITTLE...

We hear sounds of a struggle.

Sam: (Offscreen VO) gack...ack...sis...choke...that...ack...hurts.

End Credits.

AN: Lyrics to "Do You Wanna Hit It" written by Maya Ford, Brett Anderson, Allison Robertson and Torry Castellano. Performed by The Donnas.

Next Time

It finally happens. Tensions between Quinn and Sandi finally reach the breaking point. It'll be the fight of the century. Also, Jane reveals to Quinn a secret from Sandi's past.