Disclaimer: Not mine

A/N: Meant to be snippets. Not meant to have much of a conclusion. Just for fun. They are a little OOC, but there is a reason why. Socks.

"Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey," was the greeting that accompanied the pinch to her toes.

"You'd better have eggs and bakey or I'm going to kill you."

"We agreed on this last night, Scully," Mulder said, flopping down on the bed next to her.

"Was I still awake when you suggested-" she raised her head a little to look at the alarm clock. "SIX IN THE MORNING ON A SATURDAY?"

"I didn't know someone could scream in capital letters."

She hmph'ed and buried her face in the pillow.

"Scully, you were the one who said we needed to get that paperwork done. You were also the one who said you were too tired to do it last night," he reminded her, tugging on her hand.

"I'm too tired now; does that count for anything?"

"No. Now I have been up for an hour, I brought donuts, and the coffee is perking as you growl."

"Remember when I said that someday, you would get on my last nerve? That day is today."

"Good. The anticipation was killing me."

She sighed and sat up, running a hand through her hair.

"Remind me never to agree to anything when I'm half asleep."

"Why would I do that? This is working out great for me."

"You're just going to sit on the couch and watch me do paperwork all day, aren't you?"

"You don't trust me with pens!"

"Fine, but we're listening to my music."

"Fiddles and bagpipes in rock music is kind of my idea of hell on earth."

"Well getting up at six on a Saturday is mine."

He stood up from the bed, looking down at her with determination.

"You have 20 minutes to get out of bed, shower and get dressed, or I am eating the apple fritter."

She tossed a pillow at his retreating back -and missed- then got out of bed. He was going to pay for this. Big time.

"Mulder?"

"What?"

"You are not allowed to do expense reports ever, ever again."

"Good. Why not?"

"Because you can't add. Or use logic. Or keep receipts."

"Maybe that's all an attempt to keep you around."

"Right. Do you think you could organize these pages without disaster?"

"Yes I can. Be nice."

"I'm always nice, you're just overly sensitive."

He rolled his eyes and took the stack of papers from her.

"What kind of order do you want these in, Scully? Chronological, alphabetical, size, length of reprimand?"

"Chronological will be fine."

"Good. Now should I go by the date they were written or the date they were filed?"

"When did you go to secretary school?"

"When you weren't looking."

It was either her lack of sleep or the 4 cups of coffee, but the flippant comment cracked her up. She actually had to take her glasses off and wipe her eyes.

"Mulder, that doesn't even make sense."

"And yet she laughs."

She glared at him, but a grin won out.

"I know I always talk about killing you, but I never will because replacing you would be a lot harder than living with you."

"Was that a compliment?"

"Wrapped in an insult."

"Intriguing."

"Hey Scully, your phone is ringing."

"I know that; I can hear. Why don't you answer it?"

"It's not proper to answer a lady's phone."

"Answer my phone you moron."

There was a long pause and she finished rinsing their lunch dishes.

"Hey Scully, it's your mom. She seems half confused and half excited to hear me answer the phone."

Scully grabbed the phone from his hand.

"Hello my mom."

"Dana, why is Fox answering your phone?"

"Because it rang."

"Don't be smart."

"But mom, that is not the way you raised me."

"Dana."

"He answered the phone because I had sudsy hands."

"You know what I mean," Maggie said, most probably rolling her eyes.

Scully sighed and walked back into the kitchen, knowing this was going to turn into a conversation that she didn't want Mulder to hear.

"He's here because we're doing paper work. Believe it or not, the FBI has to file taxes too, and we have to get our expense reports for the year together."

"I just thought maybe..."

"You always think maybe, mom."

"I'm old and widowed. I'm allowed to live vicariously through my daughter."

"I didn't read that in the handbook."

"It was in the fine print."

"I'd better pay more attention next time."

"Good. Now, I was calling to see if you would like to go out to lunch tomorrow."

"Of course I would. I never turn down lunch when you pay."

"And that's the way I raised you?"

"That's the way dad raised me."

"So, lunch?"

"Sure, I'll be there."

"Tell Fox he's invited too."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes."

"He won't come."

"He will if he knows what's good for him."

"Mom, first rule about Mulder; he never knows what's good for him."

"Hey, I heard that," Mulder shouted from the other room.

"I meant it as a compliment."

"How?"

"I don't know yet."

Maggie cleared her throat before speaking.

"Honey, it sounds like you're uh... busy, so I'm going to let you go. Vintello's at noon?"

"We'll be there."

"Bye, Dana."

"Bye mom."

She turned the phone off and returned it to its base.

"We?"

"Yes."

"No way of getting out of it?"

"Not even."

He sighed and put the pen down on the stack of papers in front of him.

"This is not how I was planning to spend my weekend."

"Oh yeah? Well what pray tell were you going to do instead?"

"Basketball. Nintendo with the Gunmen. Crappy TV. Eat junk food."

"Mulder, that's what you do every night after work."

"Not the basketball!"

"Scully, are you seriously going to sit there and fold your laundry?"

"No, this is just for fake."

"I asked you seriously."

"In that case, yes."

"But-"

"Hey, I can't finish my half until you get that stack of stuff done. I might as well do something constructive while I wait."

"You could help me."

"Yes, I could. But I won't."

"Why not?" he whined.

"Because that defeats the whole purpose of splitting things 50/50."

"Where is it written that things have to be split 50/50?"

"In the Bible."

"It is not."

"It is too! In the book of Hezekiah."

"Hey, there's no book of Hezekiah!" he shouted after a moment.

"How do you know that? You don't read the Bible."

"I took History of Religion in college. And you don't read the Bible either."

"I have though. Just because it's not a continuous read doesn't mean... that... oh shut up, Mulder," she grumped, throwing a pair of socks at his head. He deflected it, and it landed on the couch next to him.

"I never pegged you for hot pink socks, Scully."

"Oh yeah? Why not?"

"I don't know. You just don't strike me as the kind of person that would wear hot pink anything. Besides, I usually see you in nylons, so socks are a little out of the ordinary."

"I don't generally go casual to a crime scene."

"Exactly. And we don't really spend time together outside of work. When we do, you're rarely casual."

"I am pretty uptight most of the time I suppose," she commented. He wasn't sure if she was teasing or not.

"Scully, I didn't say that."

"I didn't say you said it. I didn't even say you thought it. I was just... adding to the observation."

"Hey, don't talk about my best friend that way."

"I'm not saying anything negative Mulder."

"It sounds negative," he countered, moving from the couch to join her on the floor. "You're not uptight, Scully. You're structured. And you have to be that way because I am insane."

She smiled a little and he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Scully, I don't care what other people say or even what you think. I love the way you are. I like you when you're in suits and you're serious, and I like you when you're in socks and you're silly."

"But do you like green eggs and ham?"

He smiled.

"Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"Good. Now, do you want to help me with stack of papers?"

"Nah. I have socks to fold."