A/N: Hey guys! This is just a quick something I wrote to get over my writer's block. I've had this idea lingering in the back of my mind for a while, and man does it feel good to have it done! Enjoy!

P.S. (9/29/14) Chapter 4 of All's Fair coming soon! ...soon-ish. I may post the first chapter of a new Bionicle epic before that. But All's Fair WILL get finished. I promise. Oh, and I'm working on a collab with PikaCutie25! It's on her account. Link's on my profile page.

Enjoy!


His Own Medicine

"Whoa-EEK!" Wendy screamed. She had just been helping Mira by carrying a large bucket of ice to the guild hall's bar. Of course, being the klutz that she was, the Sky Dragon Slayer had managed to trip along the way, falling face- and arms-first into the ice. "Ohhh…" she moaned, shivering as she sat up and brushed as much crushed ice as she could off of herself.

"Oh, poor thing," Lucy commented. She was sitting at the bar with Natsu, who was sound asleep, and Happy, who was entertaining himself by tying knots in Natsu's hair. Lucy put down the book she had been reading and reached for her keys, preparing to summon Aries to dry off Wendy with the spirit's magical wool. She stopped, however, when she saw none other than Romeo rushing to help the young Dragon Slayer.

Lucy got an idea. Grinning evilly, she turned to Happy, who had somehow sculpted an effigy of himself in Natsu's pink hair. "Happy, I need a favor." She leaned in and whispered instructions in the Exceed's ear. Happy soon wore the same evil grin as Lucy. His mission clear, he left to set about his task.

Meanwhile, Wendy was still cleaning herself up. "Wendy, are you alright?" Wendy looked up to find Romeo offering her his hand.

She took it gladly, and he helped her to her feet. "Th-thank you, Romeo," she stuttered, partly from embarrassment and partly from the cold.

"Here, let me help you," the young Fire Mage said. She gave a small squeak as he held his hands just over her shoulders (C-cute, he noted) and summoned a small purple flame over each hand. He slowly moved his hands down her arms, the mild heat from his fire serving to warm and dry her skin.

Without thinking, Romeo moved his hands to just under her chin to dry her face, noticing for the first time that Wendy was blushing heavily and trying to look anywhere but back at him. Equally embarrassed, he looked away and tried to hide that he'd noticed her blushing. "I'm, uh, not making it too hot, am I? I don't want to burn you or, uh, make your face red or…" he trailed off.

Wendy, secretly not wanting him to stop, stuttered, "N-n-no! It's fine!" Their eyes met, causing both mages to blush even further, unsure how to properly react.

"You liiiiiiike herrrrr…"

Wendy and Romeo shot their gazes at the blue Exceed, who was peeking out from behind a nearby column. "HAPPY!" they shouted in unison.

Happy flew toward Romeo and continued the onslaught. "You liiiiiiike her!"

Romeo formed a fist coated in yellow fire. "Knock it off!" he shouted, swinging at Happy, who flew out of reach just in time. The Exceed dashed back toward the bar with one last "you liiiiiiike her!"

"Ugh, that cat…" Shaking his head and sighing, Romeo knelt and picked up the still-half-full ice bowl. "Come on, let's get this cleaned up." He gave Wendy a cheerful smile.

Wendy smiled back. "R-right!"


Lucy and Happy, meanwhile, were nearly dying of laughter.

"Oh, those two are so adorable together!" Lucy said, stifling her giggling and trying not to make a scene. "Good work, Happy!"

"Aye, sir!"

"And as promised, one fish." Lucy held up a smoked fish, taken from a pouch she kept with her for whenever she needed her little blue henchman to do some dirty work. Happy took it and began munching on it gleefully.

Getting another idea, Lucy looked around the guild hall. She saw Juvia fawning over Gray (as usual), Levy leaning on Gajeel's muscular arm and reading (as usual), and Elfman ranting about something involving manliness (as usual) to the Thunder God Tribe.

"Say, Happy?" Lucy asked, getting the blue cat's attention. "How'd you like to earn a few more fish?"


Gajeel would never ever EVER admit it, but he didn't mind having Levy sit against his side like she usually did. It's not that he liked it- he had NO OPINION about it, got it?- but it wasn't bad or uncomfortable or anything. I mean, sometimes his arm would go numb, but that wasn't bad. And it's not like it happened often. All in all, he didn't really care whether or not she was there, got it? It just wasn't unpleasant.

Levy shifted her position a bit, catching his attention. "Ya alright down there, Shrimp?" he asked. (Not that he really cared, remember?)

The Solid Script Mage m-hmed in response. "Just had a little itch in my back is all."

Gajeel grinned for no reason at all and teasingly nudged her in the back with his elbow. Levy only looked at him with a really? kind of grin on her face. Pantherlily, who sat on their table cleaning his Musica Sword, also grinned and shook his head, though neither human noticed.

"You liiiiiiike her…"

Gajeel and Levy spotted a certain blue furball peeking at them from the other side of their table just before darting away. Glaring sternly in Happy's direction for a moment, the two soon resumed their prior business.

Pantherlily, suspecting something was going on, hopped up and followed his fellow Exceed in the direction of the nearest Water Mage.


"Oh Gray-sama… Juvia thinks Gray-sama is looking even more handsome than normal today," Juvia crooned.

Gray rolled his eyes. He couldn't quite put his finger on just why, but Juvia's advances had seemed more ridiculous than normal lately. Though he had to admit, she was certainly flattering him…

"Juvia is so glad that Gray-sama beat Lyon-san and kept her here in Fairy Tail! Juvia is so happy here…"

Gray couldn't help but smirk. That's a new one. "It was nothing, Juvia. I'd take on Lyon any day…" He stopped himself when he realized what he was saying. Before he could clarify, though, a teasing call interrupted him:

"You liiiiiiike her…"

Gray jerked his head angrily toward the source of the voice, but saw only a blue blur speeding away by air, and a calm Pantherlily following on foot.


"I've told you Elfman, I have no intention of harming your sister. I view Mirajane with the utmost respect." Laxus sighed. He knew Elfman had his… eccentricities, but this conversation had been going in circles for the past twenty-five minutes.

"Good!" Elfman bellowed. "That is MAN! Just remember that if you do ANYTHING wrong to her, you'll be SORRY!"

Laxus facepalmed and sighed again. Behind him, Freed raised his rapier. "How dare you insinuate such a thing?! Laxus-sama would have less trouble with you than Mirajane herself!"

Bixlow chimed in. "And that is to say that he would have NO trouble with EITHER of them!"

Evergreen gently grabbed Elfman by the arm. "Elfman, please calm down…"

At Evergreen's touch, Elfman loosened up. "… I suppose I have made my point." He couldn't help but smile at her. Seeing this, Laxus rolled his eyes.

At that moment, a blue exceed hopped onto the nearest table, this time in full view of all present. "You liiiiiiike her!"

Both Elfman and Laxus smirked at each other at this remark. However, upon seeing the other's reaction, both turned to Happy, pointed at the other, and asked, "Wait, do you mean him or me?!"

Happy extended his wings and flew over both men. "Aye, siiiiiiir!" was his only reply.

Pantherlily followed him, this time also flying. "I apologize for that!" he called back.


Between laughing her head off at each couple's expense (especially the double whammy toward the end!), Lucy had been undoing the knots in Natsu's hair. When he had finished, she idly ran her fingers over the Salamander's scalp. She had always admired how soft his hair was.

A few moments into this, Natsu stirred and sat up. Lucy giggled at him. "Welcome back, sleepyhead," she teased, brushing his hair back into place with her hand.

"You liiiiiiike him…"

Lucy had failed to notice Happy's arrival. He was helping himself to fish from Lucy's pouch. "HAPPY!" she screamed, blushing. "It-It's not what it looks like!"

Happy merely laughed and flew off with the whole pouch of fish. "HAPPYYY!" Lucy called after him.

"Happy!" Pantherlily also called, stopping midair above Lucy and Natsu. Giving up his fruitless pursuit of the elusive blue Exceed, he sighed and landed on the bar next to the two mages.

"Who the what now?" a still-groggy Natsu asked.

"That got out of hand…" Lucy moaned.

Pantherlily raised an eyebrow at her. "You mean to say you somehow instigated this?"

Lucy waved her hands and laughed innocently. "No, no, no! I have NO IDEA what you're talking about!"

The black Exceed hmphed. "I'll take care of this," he said matter-of-factly, hopping off the bar and walking away.

Deciding that this was her problem to solve too, she followed, leaving a still-tired Natsu behind.


Happy found Carla sitting with Wendy and Romeo, who were still chatting happily. Ignoring his former targets, he landed next to Carla and pulled a fish from Lucy's pouch. "Hello Carla!"

Carla greeted him with a soft smile. "Hello, Happy."

Happy held up the fish. "Would you like a grilled salmon?"

Carla's smile disappeared. Trying to woo me again, she thought. "No thank you. I've told you I don't like fish," she said bluntly, flying off. Happy put the salmon back in the pouch. "I still don't believe her," he said to no one in particular. "A cat could never not like fish!"

Happy was about to take off to try again when he heard a faint whisper:

"You liiiiiiike her…"

Looking around, he saw no one who could have said it, so he decided it was his imagination and went on his way.

Romeo and Wendy, on the other hand, were fully aware that Pantherlily and Lucy were following Happy. Deciding to help the black Exceed, they stood up and likewise (subtly) followed Happy to his next destination.


Carla had made her way to Levy and Gajeel's table and was chatting with Levy about the human mage's book when Happy arrived. This time, he offered a different fish. "Smoked trout?"

"No, thank you," Carla answered more sternly before flying away again. Happy, undeterred, placed the fish back in the pouch, when he heard what sounded like several whispers at once:

"You liiiiiiike her…"

Again looking around and seeing no speakers, Happy took off. Pantherlily, Lucy, Romeo, and Wendy emerged from hiding and followed, this time joined by Gajeel and Levy.


Gray was happy for the distraction. Carla and Juvia were talking about something or other—he couldn't be bothered to pay attention; he needed a break from Juvia. He glanced up to see Happy arriving with a large bag in one hand and a fish in the other.

Happy landed on the table next to Carla. Once again he offered her a fish. "I want to find at least ONE kind of fish you like!" he declared with a determined tone. "Roasted tuna?"

Carla blushed the slightest bit, but again turned him down. "No thank you, Happy," she said less harshly, now that she understood his intentions. Still, she did not appreciate his advances, and again flew away to find less-catty company.

With determination that would have impressed Elfman, Happy put the fish back in the pouch. Once again, before he could fly away, he heard a number of whispers:

"You liiiiiiike her…"

Happy turned around and, seeing no one, paid no mind and left to pursue Carla.

Pantherlily and his group emerged from under the table and followed in silence. Man, do I know how Carla feels, thought Gray, who got up and joined them, with Juvia right on his heels.


Laxus, Bixlow, Freed, Evergreen, and Elfman were enjoying their drinks in silence at their table on the far side of the guild hall when Carla arrived. "Carla," Elfman said in greeting. Expecting her to be delivering news or some message, all present turned their attention to her; however, she merely sat down on the table, crossed her arms, and closed her eyes.

After a moment of awkward silence, Freed held up his fingers in a rectangle at Carla, as though he was analyzing a work of art. "You'd expect her to attack, or scream out in rage, or do something else we wouldn't enjoy at all. Instead, the look on her face is almost one of... sadness, and resignation. Almost as if she knows that something, or someone, is coming, but is hoping against hope they won't show up."

At that moment, Happy arrived. Elfman raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Happy?"

Freed raised his fingers again. "He is. Darker, perhaps, and not quite the innocent Happy or the eager cat we remember... but he is our guildmate."

Happy ignored the humans present and presented Carla with another fish. "This is the last fish I have. Broiled mackerel?"

Carla, embarrassed at Happy behaving like this in front of others and with tears in her eyes, shouted, "Happy, I've told you, I don't want any fish! Please stop it!" She quickly flew off toward an unoccupied table near the main door.

This time, Happy realized his mistake. He dropped his fish back in the pouch. "…I didn't mean to make her cry…" He tied the pouch shut and carried it to Elfman. "Elfman, can you give this to Lucy for me?"

A confused Elfman took the pouch in one hand. "Erm, alright…"

Happy, with a new kind of determination, turned and spread his wings; however, as before (but somehow still to his surprise), he heard a chorus of whispers:

"You liiiiiiike her…"

Happy turned back around to the five humans. "Did one of you say something?"

"No," Laxus said bluntly.

"That's odd," Happy replied. Without another thought, he flew after Carla.

Pantherlily and his followers emerged from behind the row of humans at the table (Laxus and Elfman's bulk provided a good hiding place) and followed Happy. Sensing what was happening, the five mages at the table stood up one by one and joined them.


Carla sat alone on the table, wiping her eyes. Why can't Happy take a hint? The fish aren't the problem… She sighed. Perhaps I should just head home for the day…

"…Carla?" Happy said from behind her. At first, she planned to ignore him outright, but she decided to be the better man- er, woman- er, Exceed and turned to face him. The first thing she noticed was that he didn't have his bag of fish with him. "I don't have any fish this time," he said, as though she couldn't see that. Still, she appreciated that he appeared to have different intentions this time around.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I'm sorry about earlier," Happy said somberly. Carla could tell he meant it. "I just… wanted to find a type of fish for you. Something you'd like." He looked like he was about to cry. "I didn't mean to make you cry, Carla… I'm sorry!..." He raised his paws to cover his eyes.

After a moment of silence, Carla smiled her trademark soft smile. She stood up, walked up to her blue companion, and took his paws in hers. "Happy…" she began. "…Thank you. For thinking of me. I'm sorry I rejected you the way I did."

Happy, still teary-eyed, smiled back at her. "Carla…"

After a moment of standing like this, the two Exceeds noticed a presence next to their table. They let go of each other's paws and turned to find a crown of human mages led by Pantherlily staring them down. This time, they didn't even whisper.

"YOU LIIIIIIIKE HER!"

Carla turned redder than Erza's hair. She was unsure of what to do until Happy grabbed her paw in his.

"Aye, sir!" he replied.

In the myriad of responses that followed, Carla could only look away, cover her face with her free arm…

…and grip Happy's paw tighter.

~END~