As Sarah stood gazing at her teenage daughter through the bars separating them at the station, she didn't feel anger. She felt disappointment. She was disappointed that her daughter had gotten arrested, she was disappointed that her daughter had also gotten her cousin arrested, and that she had embarrassed her in front of her brother and his wife. Oh, the stories they could make of this one – Sarah's kid messing up Adam and Kristina's perfect one once again. But, most of all, she was disappointed that she hadn't been able to stop her daughter from making the same mistakes that she had.

Her heart was heavy with the burden of feeling she was a horrible mother. How could she have screwed up like this? Had she let her daughter down? She had made a promise to herself that her kids would be better, better than she and Seth had been.

She made some lame apology to Kristina, knowing even as the words came from her mouth that it sounded pathetic. She then walked to the bars, her hand reaching out and grabbing one of them. This brought back memories… but that time she had been on the other side of the bars…

Berkley Police Station, 1988…

Sarah sighed as she tapped her foot rapidly on the unclean tiled floor. She was also tapping her fingers on her leg to a silent melody. It was a nervous trait of hers. She glanced over at the clock. Nine twenty three… it had been three minutes since she had checked last.

She quashed the overwhelming urge to get out a cigarette to calm herself down. She was in a police station after all, probably not the best idea. Although, considering that she had already been arrested it wasn't like she hadn't already…

The doors to the outer area of the station opened and two rather harried looking people walked – more like stormed – in. The man, wild-eyed and angry, went to the desk before spotting her. She instinctively slumped in her chair, unable to look him in the eye. The woman followed, she was calmer, though the disappointment in her eyes made a lump form in Sarah's throat.

She sat in frustration as her parents, Zeek and Camille, talked to the police. She was fidgeting under the gaze of her mother. She couldn't take the disappointment in her eyes. Yeah, Sara realised she had screwed up – once again. Wasn't it just one more thing to reiterate how much of a screw-up their daughter was?

The police-man unlocked the barred door and it swung open with a painful screeching sound, like nails on a chalkboard. You'd think they'd clean even the bars once in a while, but apparently they didn't.

"Sarah Braverman," the man said. It all seemed familiar to her, this procedure.

She stood up with a sigh, grabbing her things. Her companion didn't bother to move, just watched her as he tapped his hand rhythmically against his thigh, probably thinking about his next gig.

"I'll call you," he said, as though nothing had happened. As though he hadn't just gotten her arrested because he couldn't go a day without a hit.

She felt like screaming at him. She felt like saying 'Screw you, Seth'. She felt like just throwing things. But she didn't. She said nothing. She was enough of a screw up, she may as well live up to that.

Sarah followed her parents silently to the car. Neither of them said anything, her father's anger and worry had dissipated and was now replaced with that now all-too familiar look. She'd let them down, again.

The car ride home was silent, and felt long, longer than she remembered it ever being. She sat close to the window in the back, watching the trees on the side of the road go by. It wasn't because the trees were particularly appealing to her, just that she couldn't face looking at the other occupants of the car.

They arrived at the house, finally. She could see lights on in the upper windows of the place. Her siblings were up waiting to see what was happening. Of course, another instance for which they could make jokes about their rebellious sister. Julia would give her a lecture – as though she needed a lecture from her little sister. Adam would give her that look of disapproval. Crosby was too young to know that his sister had been arrested for drug possession. He'd think it was way too cool. She was such a great role model.

Zeek went straight out to the guest-house. He would disappear there for the night, no doubt, as he usually did when Sarah did something particularly bad. He would emerge the next morning, and either yell or give her the silent treatment. Sarah wasn't sure which was worse right about now.

"Mom…" Sarah said, as her mother made her way slowly up to the house. "Please… it wasn't mine." Her mother turned slowly, her arms were crossed.

"Oh, I feel so relieved, Sarah," Camille said, sarcasm dripping from her tone.

"I… I'm sorry," Sarah said, she could feel tears prickling her eyes. "I feel so bad…"

"Yeah, well," Camille said, "Maybe you should have thought about that before you went off with your boyfriend to smoke weed. What the hell were you thinking, Sarah? I thought it was going to be different? I thought you were cleaning up your act. I didn't even know you and Seth were back together."

"We're not… really," Sarah shrugged. She looked up and saw the faces of her sister and big brother in the window. They ducked away when she looked up.

"I'm trying to understand, Sarah," Camille said, "But I don't know where my little girl has gone. I don't know what to do anymore."

"I'm trying…" Sarah said.

"Not hard enough," Camille said.

Sarah watched as her mother walked into the house. She stood in the cold, revelling in the slight biting chill of the night air, with her arms wrapped around herself. Only a few tears managed to escape her eyes before she wiped them away.