"Come on, you can do better than that!"
What a line to go out on;
But how many people can say that their last words
Were their own epitaph?
The sum of ones own life,
Uttered before death.
Not many,
No, not many at all.
That one line, not even directed at myself,
It's what everyone through my life thought of me.
Teachers at school,
Mumbling that line all the time.
Family members all,
Shouting it at me.
I could never satisfy them,
They all said I should stop wasting my time,
I should knuckle down and work.
I disappointed them all, I think.
Teachers, as they knew I could do better,
Family, as I didn't hold to their values.
It seems, that in all things that mattered to the world,
I was more Grey than Black.
Now, with all of them so far away,
I remember.
I can remember laughter and good times,
- I'll never have them again –
The only times I ever felt alive.
The only times I ever did my best.
That only happened with those called friends.
The only ones who really cared.
Those were the only times colour did not matter,
White, Grey, Black
None mattered whilst we were laughing.
They didn't care if I was more Grey than Black,
Forever unable to obtain White.
Now, here in the unrelenting inky darkness
Awaiting the final judgement,
That's all that seems to matter;
The colours of ones life.
But I will not pale infront of the Judge.
I will not relent.
I will go before the Judge, and
I will be ME.
Not the colour life wanted me to be,
Whichever that may be.
A/N -The firstline doesn't belong to me, it's the last thing Sirius says before Bellatrix shoots the curse at him causing him to fall backwards into the veil in the Department of Mysteries. This line belongs to the wonderful J.K.Rowling and I earn nothing at all from using it, or from this poem either. No profits are made at all by this fanfic/poem.
On a different note, reviews are all welcome, so just push that little lavender box below and leave me your reviews please :-) They make me a better writer and hopefully'll speed up the stories I'm trying to write :-)