Wanting
Disclaimer: I do not own the movie or book series.
I tuck my little boy's hair behind his ear and smile as he runs onto the bus. I can only think that his father should be here. I stand in the same spot for ten minutes watching the dust of the bus take my child away from me.
I go home only to find another man's hands on my body. The bathroom sink drips as he toys with my body. I close my eyes and tell myself that this is all to protect my son. Everything I am is for my child. Once spent he lets me go, reminding me to have dinner ready. My hands clinch into a fist. I hide this from him-not that he notices me unless he wants something.
I check the fridge for something suitable only to find that it is empty. I grab the market basket and my purse. Double checking that enough money is in it I move on from my tiny home to find a dinner.
The fish market is empty for being afternoon. A lot of the stalls are closed. I move through the clutter of sound, my hair tied at my back, the sun sending tiny prickles of sweat down my neck. I wipe the image of memory from my neck as I wipe the sweat away.
I stare at the dead flesh and my control flips off from me. Suddenly the streets are too loud, what little people there are, are too many. The basket drops from my hands as I press them to my temple. Voices scream around me and I fall. A strong hand helps me up and I flinch from it. I know what I want the most.
I pay for the flesh. And catch a ride to the ferry. The waves touch the boat as it carries me further out. I wonder about jumping in. Letting go. A ticking clock reminds me of my duty and I ride the ferry back, never stepping off. The temptation haunts my body.
I wash my hands in the sink. The water soft against my skin. The fish lies on the counter. I cut it and wrap it in breading. The aroma fills my small kitchen as it bakes in the oven. My son hugs me and I know that it is all worth it. I look into his eyes and see his father. My smile falters for a second but the buzzer distracts me.
The man lies with me at night. He climbs on top of my body and leaves marks of his claim on me. Spent again I move quietly into the bathroom waiting until the tub is full and the door locked to weep.
All water leads back to you...Is it a bad thing to want?