Disclaimer: I don't own anything and am very sorry for my defiling of all characters from Tolkien's and Peter Jackson' respective works. All mistakes are mine.
Just Do It!
You could do this!
You really, really could do this!
It was like… like…well like destiny had come a-knockin' at the door! It was something you could do with your eyes closed, and very often you did.
Pop it on, close your eyes and let it thrum through you, overtaking your senses and losing yourself.
And seriously, right now the Company of Thorin Oakenshield could use all the help they could get.
You'd lost nearly everything in Goblin Town. Well, except what you had in that silly little over-the-shoulder bag you bought one summer from Animal.
Inside were all the little bits you needed when hazarding a shopping trip or like now, thrown into a fictional world.
Keys, purse, minty mouth spray, tampons and lots and lots of receipts from Starbucks. Oh God, you missed Starbucks so much!
And there, right at the bottom, as you fished about in your bag, lay the holy grails of your possessions. Your iPod Touch and the tiny plug-in speaker shaped like an owl.
After that soul-stealing kiss from Thorin, you'd stayed with the company trying your hardest to be more useful. You still ground your teeth a little at Thorin helping you all the time. Though it wasn't so bad when he would take your hand to help you up a hill and forget to let go.
At night, you would sleep near him, not too close, as it seemed Dori wasn't happy about the impropriety of Thorin and you being in a touchy-feely relationship. Personally, you wanted a more touch-feely-licky-bitey-sucky relationship. Thorin, however, was Mr. Perfect and would in no way touch you inappropriately. You tried to explain that there wasn't one damn inappropriate thing he could do to you. It earned you that a raised brow and the feeling that maybe you were pushing things.
Now, here, in this town you finally had the chance to earn your stripes amongst dwarves, wizard and hobbit.
You'd taken a chance. Like any good capitalist, you invested wisely to gain a larger profit return. A handmade white top, gypsy style off the shoulder, with a corseted look running up the front, with laces. It showed off your boobs tremendously when tightened!
A skirt in wine red, a bit long for you but you could shorten it with the little knife you'd been given.
Thorin, Gandalf and Balin were talking in the corner of the small pub the company had taken over with only enough money for only a few meals that all of you would have to share. They were discussing how to replenish food, blankets, and other supplies needed for their quest.
The drawback to this, they didn't have the money or anything else to barter with. The world of men, you were surprised to learn was not that charitable to dwarves. In fact, they were just plain mean.
But, men in middle earth had a weakness that you were about to exploit. After doing the impossible and convincing Bofur into lending you his hat. And you seeing that clearly, the hat should never be removed unless under dire circumstances – whoa, that dwarf's hair made yours look like an elegant coiffure!
You made your changes to your shirt, cutting a good length off, and doing the same for the skirt. You squeezed into both and made your way to the other side of the pub dominated by men. Making sure you were out of sight of the dwarves.
Yeah, you could do this, but that didn't mean you wanted Thorin to see this. Not in public anyway.
Taking a deep breath, standing a little out of the corner, placing your iPod and speaker behind you.
And in the words of Nike, you told yourself, "Just Do It."
The noise blared out and the men went quiet staring at you. Sounds of sitars and clapping mixed in with drums. You closed your eyes, letting yourself fall into the dance you knew so well.
It started with your hips, matching the beat, channelling your inner Shakira. Knowing that every hard sway made your body move in long graceful curves, showing off goods that weren't allowed to be touched.
When that voice came out, "Jai Ho!" you stepped it up.
You didn't look at them as the words sang out behind you, losing yourself in the sensation of the dance. Whirling, twirling, arching. Feeling your hair brush against the curve of your back as you arched indecently, knowing they were getting their show.
You heard the coins then, tip-tapping into the hat on the floor.
Standing straight, whirling around you risked opening your eyes. You expected the dirty, bearded, yellow-teethed lecherous grins. One or two of them hand slipped a hand into their pockets and… yeah, you weren't going to follow that thought up.
You looked away and met artic-blue eyes.
Oh, Shite!
You turned away, a bit frantically losing the rhythm forced to improvise as your mind went blank. The song was belting out its harmony, so you turned to the one thing you knew how to do very, very well. And it would get those coins filling Bofur's hat.
You needed inspiration though and turning to that frozen stare you looked Thorin in the eyes.
His beautiful face, angry at the moment, but you remembered his kisses, his hands, his hot breath whispering to you on cold nights.
Standing perfectly still, legs apart, you pulled your skirt a bit lower and you could see the Dwarf ready to lurch in your direction.
Head lowering, looking up at him between sooty lashes you began your mesmerising dance.
How do you make twenty men, thirteen dwarves, a Hobbit and a Wizard freeze, with their tongues hanging out?
Easy!
You introduce them to the wonder that is…Belly Dancing!
You knew they were all drooling, and throwing their gold into the hat. Nori even whipped out some stolen booty and threw it in.
Thorin was frozen. If his eyes opened wider, they'd be falling out and rolling on the floor. He was too dignified to drool, but his bottom lip was wet.
You moved closer to a patron, rolling the muscles in your stomach, creating that delicious wave of skin, down then up, shimmy those hips, turn around, twerk that arse and listen to him part with his coin.
You did it to another man, the same effect. You were hot right now, flammable, and you wanted to see them all burn.
Especially your Dwarf.
You moved closer using your fancy footwork, arms outstretched, wrists twirling, you wished you had some bangles. You were close enough to touch him. You saw him rub his fingers together on one hand, he wanted to feel you.
The song was coming to its end, and you twirled giving him your back, before ending this dance with your own big finish.
You didn't have to look to know he was captivated by your arse. You would soon see his face as you kept those hips moving, as you curved your back and the upside down view of your lover met your gaze.
The song finished in a crescendo, and you stayed as you were as men clapped and cried for more.
Thorin unfroze and the artic glare came back as he turned and walked away from you.
Well, you shrugged, you knew he wasn't going to be jumping for joy. But, as you picked up your stuff and the half-filled hat, shoving it all in your bag, and slipping it over your head, you figured you should go apologise and give Balin the money.
The Dwarves, bar a few were warm and funny as you came over. You hitched your skirt off your hips and back up to your waist. Going straight to Balin, you took out Bofur's hat and tipped lots of gold coins out, and a silver salt shaker courtesy of Nori.
You rolled your eyes at him. It was yours now and could be sold or bartered with for more supplies.
"Will this help?" Balin frowned at you, "To buy supplies," you explained.
The old Dwarf squinted a little at you. "You did that," he pointed to the far end of the pub, "To get money for us?" his voice was raised enough that all the Dwarves could hear.
Bless you, Balin, the old adviser knew how to turn any situation on its head. You took in the thoughtful looks as you glanced around, noticing straight away that Thorin was missing. You sighed, smiled at Balin and walked away to go change your clothes.