Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, or this world. Even the plot is an adaptation of an old cartoon I vaguely remember.
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HONEY BUNNY
It was a very… quiet establishment. Set on the thin border between Diagon Alley and Knockturn, it catered to a very exclusive clientele, offering them anything they wanted.
He stepped in from the bright afternoon sun and found himself in sensuous shadows. Dense carpeting rendered his footsteps silent, and thick candles sent flickering shadows against the warm mahogany walls.
The short entryway led into an intimate supper club. Each table was shrouded in thin gossamer curtains, inviting visitors to guess at the individual delights beyond. The air was filled with the spicy scent of cloves, and decadent groans filled his ears.
A well-dressed and silent house elf led him to a table tucked away in the corner, moving the curtain aside wordlessly and offering a menu.
He waved the leather binder away.
"Honey bunny."
The elves eyes widened at his words, but no questions were asked. The elf disappeared, and several minutes later he heard the quiet creak of wheels.
The curtain moved aside on its own, revealing a waiter's cart with a large domed silver tray on top. The waiter, a wizard charmed to remain silent about anything he saw in the establishment, lifted the cover with a flourish, revealing a body.
She was dressed as a Muggle Playboy Bunny. A brief satin bodice covered her imposing assets, and as she turned to clamber down from the cart he saw a small cotton bunny tail had been clipped to the back.
She walked towards him delicately on four inch heels, smiling gently with pink tinted lips. Thick chestnut curls framed a heart-shaped face.
She moved as if to settle on the empty chair beside him, her hand poised to run enticingly down his arm, but he waved her off, irritated.
He snapped his fingers sharply. When the elf reappeared, he repeated his order, "Honey bunny."
The elf seemed confused, but nodded sharply and with a wave the girl was back on the tray and rolling away again.
He examined his nails under the weak light of the candles on the table.
The creaking wheels came again, and with another flourish, the shining dome-shaped cover was removed. Underneath was a young man, dressed in a similar fashion.
Dark denim shorts covered all that decency required, but a bright white bunny tail highlighted the rear. Long black velvet ears perched in a nest of auburn hair and the face underneath was puckish and smiling.
With a slow roll of the hips, the young man moved closer, dancing to his own sensuous beat, but he was turned away.
Another sharp snap brought back the quiet elf.
He clenched his jaw tightly, and then released just enough to grit out, "Honey. Bunny."
The elf looked, then it's expression cleared and it almost seemed to smile. The young man with the bunny ears returned to the tray, and as he heard the wheels move away, Harry smelled something sweet, like candy.
He awoke in the dark, on a cold flat surface, almost naked. There was enough room for him to lie comfortably, but he couldn't stretch out. He tried to reach for his wand, but found his hands were tied behind him.
Wriggling his fingers to find something, anything that could be a clue to his location or help him get free, he shivered. His warm woolen robe was gone, leaving him in a pair of leather pants that were almost as restrictive as the ties around his wrists.
He could hear something creaking, and it sounded naggingly familiar.
Ron and Hermione's instructions had been so clear, and they were certain this was what he needed, so he finally went along with it. Came to the restaurant, ordered what he was told to, and then had to go through the ridiculous charade. If the proprietors knew so well what their customers wanted, then what the hell was going on?
Suddenly, the walls around him shifted and he knelt up in preparation to run, or fight, or whatever made sense at the time. A sudden light dazzled his eyes, forcing him to duck his head.
When it cleared he found himself again at a table, shrouded in curtains. And at that table was a smiling man.
"Honey bunny," Draco asked, smirking gently.
Harry goggled.
"What's going on?"
Draco's smirk became less gentle, his mouth twisted, "Quieres gives us what we want, whether we know what that is or not."
The blond stood, and walked toward the cart. Harry knelt, frozen, on the shining surface of the tray peering up through his fringe as the blond drew cold fingers down his cheek.
"You want to be here, served up to me on a silver platter, and by Merlin, "Draco said, lifting Harry up in surprisingly strong arms, "I want you."
Harry heard a growl, and then Draco's lips were against his. It wasn't Harry's first kiss, but it was the most passionate. Caught up in the moment, he felt himself being pressed onto the table, and bucked up.
Draco pulled back with glittering eyes, "What's the matter? Do you want to stop?"
Harry took a deep breath and opened his mouth, but before he could say anything Draco was on him again, stealing his breath and anything he was planning to say with sharp teeth and a slithering tongue.
Harry felt himself being lifted again, up from the table, and then pulled down with Draco, to settle straddling the blond's lap.
He felt Draco's arousal against his own, leather clad one, and this time when his mouth was released he had only enough breath for a needy groan as he ground down against the other man's hardness.
Laughing, Draco peppered Harry's face and neck with tiny, biting kisses, shifting his hips in a teasing manner.
Panting lightly, Harry groaned out questioningly, "Honey bunny?"
Draco pressed him into another fierce kiss and answered, "Honey bunny."
Harry buried his burning face in Draco's neck, breathing deeply of the other man's musky orange cologne. He heard a metal zip and whimpered when cool air met his burning flesh. Cold hands wrapped around his hot length and tugged it forward to meet its match.
Harry was so turned on, and so surprised, and so happy he was almost laughing as he thrust slowly in Draco's fist, against Draco's flesh. The blond groaned heavily as Harry sucked a fiery line up his neck and met him in the first kiss he had initiated.
Moaning into each other's mouths, pulling in quick breaths whenever the opportunity arose, they drove each other to rapture with hands and hips, soft flesh and hard thrusts grinding against each other in an ancient rhythm.
They drove each other to passion's peak and when they finally fell, they fell for miles, coming back to their skin sweaty, smiling, and sated in each other's arms.
"They set me up, "Harry said quietly, as Draco loosened the leather strap around his wrists.
"I asked them to," Draco puffed out, breathless, hair mussed and lips swollen from heavy kisses.
"We should thank them."
"Later."
And it began again.
&&&
One year and four months later they were married, and if anyone asked, they met in a coffee shop. Hermione and Ron wore matching smug expressions to the ceremony.
The cake was decorated with rabbits made of brown sugar but only four people knew why.
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Note: Well, that's it. This is the smuttiest thing I've written so far and I'm kind of proud of it for that. Let me know if it's any good, okay? It's the only way I'll learn.