Breathe
Bella POV
The house was quiet with Charlie asleep. I lay on my bead, under the covers, trying to get away from the misery that flowed through my veins. However, my attempts have been unsuccessful.
"Take care of yourself," he breathed, cool against my skin.
There was a light, unnatural breeze. My eyes flashed open. The leaves on a small vine maple shuddered with the gentle wind of his passage.
He was gone.
My eyes squeezed shut in a hope to rid myself of the memory. Unfortunately, the last image of his face was permanently imprinted on the inside of my eyelids; embedded in my mind.
No one, not even Charlie, would have guessed that the Cullens would just up and leave. Though the Quiluetes surely enjoyed their absence.
Just weeks ago—only days before he left me in the forest—Edward loved me. Or at least he was very good at acting like he did. Yet, in the forest, he made it clear that he didn't love me. I guess people just change their minds.
I've only known him for around eight months, which is not a big amount of time in the long run, but it felt like I've known him my whole life. And it pained me, from the tip of my head to the point of my toes, to see him go.
I decided that music and movies were off limits, somehow they would always remind me of him. No matter what the song is about, it brings me back to memories and moments with him. No matter what is going on in the movie, my mind clicks it with something that ties to him.
I don't know what to be without him around. I'm just useless and lifeless.
"A clean break," as he said, would be easier. It's never easy. No matter what way he left, it would never be as simple as he had wished. Never.
There's no one here to save me anymore. Why? Because the person I depended on to catch me when I fell was gone.
I knew him so well, more than I knew myself. But I suppose it still wasn't everything about him.
I never, in a million years, would have wanted him to leave. I never tried to hurt him. I never wanted to see him hurt. Every time an obstacle came in between us, we were able to swerve around it. We could have done anything. I know it. But, I guess, people are people and sometimes it doesn't work out. There's nothing I could have said that would have made him stay.
It's two o'clock in the morning now, and I'm still lying in bed, without the ability to fall asleep. It has been like this since the night he left me. I haven't been able to get any sleep without him lying next to me, humming my lullaby.
He was my best friend—along with Alice—but he was also my love, and I lost both. I'd given him everything I had, and I lost it all when he left, leaving me with no way of getting it back. I hope he knows that it isn't easy without him. Nothing is.
I'm sorry for whatever it is that made him leave. I'm sorry for what I did that stopped him from loving me. I'm sorry for anything and everything. I'm sorry.
I can't breathe without him, but I know I have to.
Suddenly there was a rapping on my window. The only way to reach that window was to climb up the tall tree outside the house. I didn't know anyone strong enough, or brave enough, to climb it.
The knocking at the window was with the same rhythm Edward would use when he came to stay with me at night—before he left.
I tiptoed over to the window and pulled back the long blue curtains to reveal who it was…
"Breathe" by Taylor Swift
I see your face in my mind as I drive away.
'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way.
People are people and sometimes we change our minds.
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time.
Mmm mmm mmmmmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm
Music starts playing like the end of a sad movie.
It's the kind of ending you don't really want to see.
'Cause it's a tragedy and it'll only bring you down.
Now I don't know what to be without you around.
And I know it's never simple never easy.
Never a clean break, no one here to save me.
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand
And I can't breathe
Without you
But I have to
Breathe without you
But I have to
Never wanted this, never wanted to see you hurt.
Every little bump in the road, I tried to swerve.
But people are people and sometimes it doesn't work out.
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out.
And we know it's never simple, never easy.
Never a clean break no one here to save me.
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand.
And I can't breathe
Without you
But I have to
Breathe without you
But I have to
It's two A.M.
Feeling like I just lost a friend.
Hope you know it ain't easy, easy for me.
It's two A.M.
Feeling like I just lost a friend.
Hope you know it ain't easy, easy for me.
And we know it's never simple, never easy.
Never a clean break no one here to save me, oh.
And I can't breathe
Without you
But I have to
Breathe without you
But I have to
Sorry, Sorry.
Sorry, Sorry.
Sorry, Sorry.