Lily Evans stared into the fire in the Gryffindor Common Room. At seventeen she was spending her first ever Christmas without her family and she was lonely.

She could, of course, join the rest of Hogwarts in the Great Hall for the Christmas feast, but she was perfectly content to wallow in self misery alone in front of the fire. Crowds weren't conducive to self pity, and darned if she would be caught laughing right now. Pouting and sulking were much better.

Plus, James wasn't in the Common Room and he wouldn't be able to resist trying to cheer her up. Sometimes she just didn't want to be cheered up and she felt bad saying no to her boyfriend. She'd said no for so long that now that she had finally said yes she didn't want to revert back to old habits. She couldn't bear to see his dejected look. Of course, when it got down to it, he never really did get dejected. He just sort of…smirked…and went on with life. Lily wasn't sure that he had ever quit anything, even pranking Snape, although he swore on his dead puppy's grave that he never tormented the Slytherin anymore. Even so, Lily had her suspicions.

But right now she did not care about that. In fact, right now she did not care one lick about James Potter. She was far more interested in herself and generally feeling gloomy.

During the summer her sister Petunia had gone and gotten married to a whale of a man. Lily figured he had more flubber than internal organs, and she'd heard that the small intestine could stretch out pretty far if it was unraveled. He also had a personality to match his work (he worked with drills; nobody was quite sure what he did with them) and a temper to match Lily's hair. He and Petunia were spending Christmas with the Evans, the reason why Lily had remained at Hogwarts this year for the holidays. She had no interested in being ridiculed for "being a freak," especially by the Dursleys.

James dear had decided to stay at Hogwarts too once he realized Lily would be remaining. It was rather sweet, actually, and showed how much he cared about her, but Lily did not wish to dwell on how sweet he was. She wanted to be miserable.

James Potter.

James Potter.

James Potter.

JAMES POTTER.

Lily growled out a few choice words. It was hard to be miserable when thinking of one James Potter. Darn his charm, wit, good looks and amazing kisses. Even when he wasn't in the room he wouldn't leave her alone. How was she supposed to wallow with him on her mind?

The portrait hole opened and said messy-haired boy waltzed in and collapsed on the couch next to her. "I heard my name being thought and knew my presence was needed," he announced. "All right, Evans?"

"Go away, Potter," she ground out. "I'm trying to wallow. It's hard enough to do when you're not in here; your presence makes it infinitely harder."

He rearranged himself so his head was in her lap. "But I don't want my pretty girl to be miserable. Look at me and smile, love; you know you want to be happy basking in the Potter aura."

Lily pushed him off the couch. This wallowing thing was getting harder by the minute. "Don't start with me, James. I don't want to say no to you."

"Then don't," he called up from the floor. "And next time you push me off the couch, please don't make me land on your shoes. It's rather uncomfortable." He sat up and put his head back on her lap, but the rest of him remained off the couch. "C'mon, Lily, smile for me. Please? Pretty please, Lilykins?"

The corners of her mouth twitched up. No! Don't smile, Evans! Control yourself! You want to be miserable! Think depressing thoughts. Petunia won't let you come home this Christmas. You're missing your favourite holiday with your parents. Your sister married Vernon Dursley. That one did it. The half-formed smile on her face dropped into a scowl. Of all the wretched people Petunia had to marry. Lily would never see her sister again, she just knew it.

"I said smile, not scowl," James said, frowning. "You're not still upset about your sister, are you?"

"Very good, Potter," Lily snapped. "I'm still upset about my sister. You're so astute." Hurt flashed across his eyes briefly before disappearing, but it made her feel horrible. Great. Now I'm a bad person, too. She wanted to go hide herself in a hole somewhere and remain there until after she hit menopause. Maybe then she could forgive herself for hurting James. Or maybe she would stay in that hole forever so she wouldn't hurt him anymore, and she'd be able to avoid the Dursleys.

Of course, her wonderful boyfriend wouldn't allow that, and even though she would be hiding in a hole to avoid him he would find her anyway and keep her company, rendering useless her reason for solitude. Which she wanted right now—solitude, so she could wallow properly. But she owed him an apology first for being an incorrigible bat.

"I'm sorry," she said. "You don't deserve to be on the receiving end of my temper. I just want to be miserable for a while and you make that impossible, and it frustrates me so I get nastier and say stupid things. Honestly, James, I don't know what you see in me. I find myself to be one of the nastiest people I know, if not the nastiest. I'm sorry."

James reached up and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "You don't give yourself enough credit, Lily. You're one of the kindest people I know, and most of the time I probably deserve your contempt when it comes my way. Not today, granted—you're just being mean and I'll make you pay dearly for it—but most of the time. What I don't get is why your stupid sister and her husband don't see the angel inside of you."

"Because it's on the inside," Lily grumped. "And stop that!" she swatted his hand away. "You're not supposed to make me feel better. You're supposed to tell me I'm right and then chew me out for being heartless or something like that."

James mumbled something into her lap. "What was that?" Lily asked.

"I said you're hopeless." He stood up and grabbed her hand, pulling her off the couch. "Grab a cloak, Lily Evans, and some shoes. We're going outside. And yes, I know it's snowing, I know it's cold, and I know you want to stay here and wallow. Go get your cloak or I'll take you outside without it and you'll have to share mine."

That wasn't such a bad idea, and Lily might have taken him up on the offer, except she'd tried to huddle under his cloak with him before and she somehow ended up being colder than with her own cloak. Grumbling about boyfriends who didn't understand anything, she trudged up to her dormitory, put on the required items, and went back downstairs.

James hold open the portrait hole for her and grabbed hold of her arm, half dragging her behind him. Lily wondered what he was going to do when they got outside. Hopefully not start a snowball fight because she hated losing, and that would definitely put her in a worse mood. He could kiss away her sorrows, however…that would be a welcome Christmas present…

Grinning in impish delight, she picked up her pace so James was no longer dragging her. In fact, she pulled out of his grasp and ran out to the courtyard and to the Gryffindor lawn that was covered in snow. Tilting her head back she stuck out her tongue and caught a snowflake on it. Yummy. Who knew snow could taste so good?

"Having fun yet?" James asked as he came up beside her, a boyish grin on his face. Lily nodded. She was having fun! Snow put her in such a good mood, especially falling snow. It was so pretty and covered the world in a beautiful—

She was having fun. Darn him! He brought her out here to get her out of her deep blue funk! And worse, it worked! Stupid boyfriend.

"You did this on purpose," she accused, shaking a bare finger at him that was rapidly freezing.

James gave an innocent shrug. "Well, it's possible, Lily love…"

"I hate you."

"Well that's sad, because I love you."

Ooh. Those three words sent shivers down her spine. He hadn't ever said them to her before, but she liked hearing them. In fact, she could get used to hearing them. All the time.

"Say it again," she demanded.

"Well that's sad, because I love you."

Lily smiled. She couldn't help it. She couldn't stop it. She couldn't prevent it.

Then she giggled. Like a madwoman.

"Er, Lily, this is the part where you return the sentiment, not cackle like you're planning my murder."

Cackle! CACKLE! She was not cackling! She was giggling! Trust a boy not to know the difference. She gave him a gentle smack with her hand. "My hands are cold."

Okay, not exactly what she wanted to say, but it was true.

"Lily…?"

"Well, they are. I don't have gloves."

James took her hands in his, also ungloved. Her fingers were amazingly warmer almost instantly. "Lily…" he hesitated. He was so cute when he was unsure of himself. "I hope I didn't scare you, what with…well, you know…"

Lily did know. And just knowing it made her smile all over again. How she had landed the perfect boy after being perfectly dreadful to him was beyond her, but for whatever reason he loved her. She giggled again. He loved her! Oh Merlin, what a beautiful day! And to think, earlier she had been lamenting not being home. If she had gone home she never would have received such a beautiful Christmas present.

Drawing herself closer to him, Lily pressed her lips lightly against James', then pulled back and brushed snow out of his hair. "I love you, too, you toerag."

He grinned. "Just as long as I'm your toerag."

"Always and forever. Happy Christmas, James."

"Happy Christmas, Lily."

He leaned down and kissed her, the snow falling gently around them.

Lily didn't feel quite so lonely anymore.