Winds of Absolution
"So this is where you have been." A deep voice commented in the nursery where a newborn, only a few hours old lay in the hospital supplied crib. "You had the Allspark concerned for your welfare, but I see that you left of your own accord."
Gurgling happily at the large humanoid robot standing next to his crib, the infant gave a toothless grin when a metallic finger rubbed softly against the silky skin of his cheek. A faint shimmering began to appear on the opposite side of the crib, its light growing in intensity until the glow faded, leaving a young transformer in its place. "Primus." He said quietly, his blue tipped wings twitching behind him in agitation. "How is the Allspark?"
"Her Spark is fading quickly, and a new container for her power must be found before it does fade." Primus answered, crossing his arms over his chest plating as he spoke. "But then I believe you were already aware of that particular dilemma, weren't you lost Spark?"
"Cybertron is lost to us." The flier admitted softly, his hand rising to retract the visor shielding his sightless blue optics. "At least this way I am able to ensure that your children will find a new home and will have a future."
"He will find you."
"He would find the new host no matter who is chosen." The younger mech replied. "At least this way I will have gained an opportunity to know my Creators, whereas before there was no chance of my Spark ever leaving."
"And there is nothing I can say that will dissuade you from this path you've chosen?"
"Why would you want to dissuade me?" The young transformer asked, his voice reflecting genuine curiosity. "It is an honor to even be considered for this. Had any of the other Sparks succeeded in their attempts to leave, they would tell you the same. His time to be called to rest has arrived, and I would be beyond honored if you allowed me to be the one to help our people find a new time of peace beyond the surface of Cybertron."
"Very well, sparkling." Primus conceded with a defeated sigh as blue optics lit up in triumph. "But if I am to do this, you will need to return your Spark back into its casing."
Watching silently as the flier left in the same manner in which he had arrived; Primus let loose a weary sigh. "You say that to become the Allspark is an honor, or that to even be considered is one as well." Primus murmured, his hand pulling a small cube covered in glyphs from subspace. "But in all honesty, it is you who honors me by choosing to take action in the manner that you did. There are not many others who would have seen and chosen to act for the good of others rather than for the benefits that such power could grant them."
Pressing the cube gently against the soft skin of the sleeping infant, Primus remained silent as the cube slowly allowed itself to be absorbed into the fragile skin. As the cube disappeared from sight, metallic lines began to spread out from the point of absorption creating an intricate array of tattoos matching the ones that had decorated the cube before fading in the same manner in which they had appeared. A wave of energy pulsed from the infant alerting all of those who held Sparks and were on the planet to its presence. Optics shuttered closed as Primus brushed his hand lightly over the tiny head of the newborn, his head bowing slightly as he whispered quietly to the infant before leaving.
"Forgive me for giving you this burden and for allowing you to believe that it is an honor when I know that for a time it will be anything but. I can only hope that when the time comes for us to meet again that you will not hold this against me, young one."
NcN
Days, weeks, even months after that day in Mission City and Sam would swear that all he remembered as he pressed the Allspark into Megatron's Spark casing was the feeling of burning pain and the blinding light that radiated outwards. The minutes that he'd spent talking with the ageless being wouldn't be mentioned until nearly a year after the fact when he was forced to accept the conversation that had taken place in those few seconds of time.
He chose to keep the details of the conversation close to his heart and with every fiber of his being had intended on taking the unmentioned conversation to his grave with him rather than speak of it to anyone else. But it seemed as though no matter how hard he tried to ignore the words that had been spoken so softly to him; with those vivid blue eyes staring piercingly into what felt like his soul, they seemed to follow behind him like a puppy would.
"You are not yet ready to accept what I offer to you and that which you have already sworn to do." Sweat beaded on his forehead as Sam tossed fitfully in the confines of his blankets as he slept and revisited the day he destroyed both Megatron and the Allspark. "But know that there will come a time when you will be driven to acceptance and when that time arrives, I shall await your decision. My Creations believe me gone, and only you will know otherwise my chosen child." Even in dreams Sam could still see the brief flare of pain that had illuminated those ancient eyes as the being spoke the last words he could remember being uttered.
"The Chaos Bringer returns and much that you hold dear to your Spark will be ripped from you. I pray to Primus that the light you hold within is enough to light the way for my Creations."
NcN
"I still believe that you should tell them before you do this."
Glancing down at the metal cube held tightly in his hands as he crept through the darkened base, Sam shook his head as he replied to the voice. "I can't." He whispered softly, his hands tightening unconsciously around the cube. "What would I tell them? That I'm going to die because I went running with you at Mission City? Or maybe that I'm housing a Spark that by all rights shouldn't even exist?"
"They deserve to know." The voice persisted, its firm tones echoing in Sam's head as the teen came to a stop in front of the empty med bay. "They cannot stop what we both know will happen, but at least they would be better prepared to deal with the aftermath of the consequences for your choices."
"I won't let them blame themselves." Fingers entering the override code for the med bay, Sam glanced down at his watch taking careful note of the time, knowing that he had only minutes before Ratchet would make his way down to the med bay to check on the intrusion. "Regardless of what the both of us know is going to happen, they wouldn't stop until they found some way to fix it…to fix me."
"Youngling…"
"It's better this way." Sam insisted stubbornly, his brown eyes darting around the med bay as he stealthily made his way to the berth concealed by the curtain partitioning. "I made a promise that I would do this, and I'll be damned if I don't keep it.
"I would apologize," The voice admitted quietly to Sam as the cube in the teen's arms began to glow softly, the lines etched in its surface becoming brought into prominence by the light, "but I do not believe that an apology is adequate for what we have all asked of you."
"Hey, I told you that I'd do it. The only regret I have is not being able to tell my parents." Sam replied as he ducked beneath the curtain hung around the solitary berth in the med bay, intricate lines beginning to form on the surface of his skin. "Besides you didn't really ask anything that I hadn't already volunteered years ago. We always knew what would happen, that eventually my Spark would be too much for me to handle. I was always meant to return to my Creators… and for that to happen…"
"For that to happen, you would need to die as an organic."
Their conversation came to a halt as Sam began to climb up onto the operating berth that Ratchet had laid Jazz onto as soon as the Autobots new base had been constructed. He'd been watching and waiting patiently for the past month as Ratchet painstakingly repaired the damage caused by Megatron. Today the medic had finally announced that the repairs were completed and in the morning Optimus along with the rest of the Autobots would gather in the med bay and attempt to pull Jazz's Spark from the Matrix using the shard of the Allspark.
It was all well and good in theory, there was only one problem with that; the shard of the Allspark that Optimus had pulled from Megatron's Spark casing had disappeared nearly two months before. And the same night that it had disappeared, Sam had awoken from a dream to find the renewed form of the Allspark held in his arms as he was kept for observation in the med bay after the incident with the Decepticon Seekers. To be honest, he hadn't reacted very well to realizing that the conversation he'd had in his sleep had been all too real, as well as the gradual choices he would be faced with.
Standing on top of Jazz's newly reconstructed form, Sam reflected on all of the anxiety that he'd been feeling for the past two months and chuckled at the fact that now he felt nothing but peace. Here he was about to kill himself and he felt more at peace with it than he'd ever felt about anything in his life. How strange was that he mused quietly to himself.
"We haven't much time." The voice reminded him, reluctant to pull the teen away from his thoughts. "If we are to do this, then it must be now."
"I know."
Kneeling with a heavy sigh, Sam stretched his arms out and held the Allspark over the chest plating that concealed the unused Spark casing of the mech beneath him. He remained unaware of the door to the med bay sliding open, as well as the bulky form of the Autobots CMO rushing in. All he could see and hear was the light emanating from the Allspark as well as the sounds of Jazz's armor pulling back to reveal the Spark casing.
Sam held no concept of time as his body began to lose energy and he started coughing violently, the armor beneath him becoming stained with his blood. In spite of the pain, he felt warm and safe as though he were still at home with his parents, sound asleep in the comfortable security of his own bed instead of being inside the med bay doing something that was supposed to be impossible. A small smile tugged at his lips when the Spark casing began to react to the glimmering ball of blue that was beginning to form.
Sam's breath caught in his throat at the same moment that blue optics came back online beneath the visor concealing them from view. The Allspark disappeared even as the teen clutched at his chest, his breath coming in short gasps as he bit his lip and winced in pain. No amount of warning could have prepared him for the pain of changing from an organic sentience back into an inorganic one.
His eyes fluttered closed for the last time as Sam began to feel the pull of another Spark calling to his own newly released one and he let go. Let go of what he didn't know, all he knew was that to go where he needed to go, he had to let go of whatever was holding him back. Slamming into the beckoning warmth, he registered the shocked surprise of the other Spark as he nestled himself into it snugly.
"Sam! Oh Primus no…"
NcN
Jazz was shifting his feet impatiently as he tried to gain entrance into the med bay against the (for once) rather vehement protests of his bond mate. "Jazz, Ratchet is still attempting to finish the protoform. We will only be in his way should we attempt to enter the med bay. Not to mention that I have no desire to drag your unconscious form back to our quarters when he loses what little may remain of his patience and incapacitates you in the most expedient manner available to him."
"Why doncha jus' say that th' Hatchet'll knock me out with an arc welder?" Jazz asked his bond mate curiously as he stopped fidgeting long enough to meet his bond mate's blue optics. "And what d'you mean drag my offlined frame back to our quarters? What happened to chivalry and all that stuff when your bond mate's carryin' your sparklin'?"
"As you have informed me on numerous occasions since we first learned of the sparkling in question, the sparkling is ours and should not under any circumstances be referred to as solely my Creation." His bond mate replied dryly. "And as for dragging you back to our quarters rather than carrying you; were you not the one insisting that 'you weren't some whiny little femme needin' to be carried around'?"
"So you sayin' that if I was a femme, you'd be carryin' me back to our quarters instead of draggin' me?"
"I refuse to answer as it is becoming increasingly apparent that no matter the nature of my response, you will find some perceived slight in it."
"Ya callin' me irrational now?" Jazz asked in a low tone as he glared at his bond mate from behind his gleaming visor.
"Yes." His bond mate answered with an unusual note of irritation coloring his voice. "You are at this point in time, the most irrational mech I have ever known in the vorns since my Creation."
"I wonder sometimes how you manage to put up with him, Prowl." Ratchet's amused voice came from the entrance leading to the med bay as he noticed the look Jazz was now giving the tactician. "But if you two are done squabbling for the moment, I thought you'd like to see the protoform."
Watching as Jazz all but dashed into the med bay, Ratchet held out an arm to keep Prowl from entering. "I know that he's a handful to deal with at the moment, but just remember that his Spark's got his processor in a mess right now." Ratchet said quietly to the attentive mech beside him. "It's just the sparklings way of saying that its nearly time for it to be introduced to its protoform. Once that's done, Jazz'll go back to normal as his Spark stops sending the confusing signals to his processor."
"I know that." Prowl said in his normal emotionless voice. "It is simply that with all of the recent Decepticon activity as well as the human youngling's…"
"Prowl!" Jazz's excited voice called from inside the med bay. "Get ya aft in here and see the protoform!"
Hearing Jazz begin to talk excitedly to his bond mate as Prowl entered the med bay, Ratchet frowned as he mentally reviewed Prowl's words. Even if the mech hadn't been able to finish his sentence, he knew what the black and white had been about to say. The anniversary of Sam's death; with it being nearly a year since that day, Bumblebee had been acting increasingly depressed around the base. Not even the recent arrival of the twins had been able to shake the yellow minibot from his descent that had begun the day Jazz had been revived at the cost of Sam.
Standing outside of the med bay to give the bonded pair a chance to inspect his work, Ratchet's thoughts turned to the new Spark being carried by Jazz. He wondered if the sparkling would ever know Cybertron, or if he would know only Earth as his home planet. That, Ratchet admitted to himself, was a rather distant possibility considering that the latest reports of Decepticon activity contained a sighting of a fully functional Megatron. The Autobots had tried to keep the Spark's existence a secret, but he knew in his Spark that it would only be a matter of time before Megatron learned of the sparkling and the events behind its creation.
NcN
He missed Bumblebee. That one thought had kept playing through his mind as the months passed. He knew that by now the Autobots would have figured out what he had done and why, or at the very last Ratchet would have and by extension the rest of the Autobots. After all, it was kinda hard to miss seeing a giant glowing cube being held in the arms of an organic youngling. Being where he was, he was forced to face himself and the choices that he'd made while still 'alive'. It was amazing the kind of thinking and reasoning that could be done when you didn't have anything to distract you from it.
The determination and fervent belief that what was being done was the best for everyone had slowly come to be as firmly ingrained in him now as it was then. Occasionally the thought still surfaced that it would have been nice had he been able to make a conscious decision. But deep down he thought (or at least he hoped) that his choice would have been no different, that his actions would have remained the same no matter if he was human or transformer.
Although, Sam thought wryly, it would be just his luck to be the Creation of a pair of Decepticons. But the longer that he spent in the comfortable warmth that was his Creator's Spark, the more he came to realize that his new life would not be that bad. Especially when his Creator would center a feeling of intense love and longing directly towards his still immature form. Poking playfully at the brilliance surrounding him, Sam gasped when he felt a forceful tugging on his very being. Wincing at the unexpectedness of it, Sam's eyes closed in reaction as he realized that his time here was at an end.
Following the tugging sensation to its source, another gasp escaped him when he was flooded with a plethora of questions. Realizing that this was what his Spark had informed him was called a protoform; Sam concentrated on the image of the transformer he could remember seeing in his memories. The sleek blue tipped wings, the slender mechanical form and the blue visor that reminded him so much of Jazz's own. Yawning tiredly once the process was complete, Sam relinquished control to the impatient sparkling that was demanding immediate control and allowed himself to begin the process of melding.
NcN
Stumbling as a fierce wave of dizziness spread through his systems, Jazz was saved from falling to the floor by his bond mate's arm wrapping securely around his waist. "Ratchet." He managed to gasp out weakly as his optics offlined at the severity of the lightheadedness sweeping through him. "I think the sparklin's ready."
"What?" The medic bellowed as he rushed forward, pushing Prowl out of his way as he led Jazz to a nearby berth. "It's too soon for the Spark to be transferred."
"Well, I think the sparklin's idea of ready is a little different than yours Ratchet."
This story incorporates parts of the darker one I began writing in November. It's kinda funny but it all began with a conversation at work about how there would always be things that you couldn't control. And I just had this funny thought of Sparks refusing to be controlled and it just ballooned into this story here. I know that its rather… different, but I still hope someone likes it. If not… well I happen to like it and in then end I think that's all that really matters.