Pansy woke slowly, the coming-to-awareness of a very tired person. Mind you, Tom was a good source of exhaustion…he was good. He was also, incidentally, gone. Pansy sat up, shivering in the cool morning of the room, noticing that the balcony doors were wide open, even if he wasn't standing on the balcony, which he wasn't.
Pansy pushed the covers aside and got out of the bed, padding barefoot and naked to the chair across the room over which hung her black and cream silk kimono dressing gown. She wrapped it around herself, tying the long black sash, and then headed downstairs.
The dining room was empty. Her parents were in Italy, and goodness only knew where Tom had gone. Only one place was set on the long mahogany dining table, and the only light streaming through the floor to ceiling windows.
Through the windows, she could see the extensive gardens, bathed in bright sunlight. Then she turned away. She wasn't entirely sure what her mood was today, and until she had worked out it was better not to act cheerful and appreciative of August morning sunlight.
As she sat down on the chair, pots of tea and coffee and baskets of rolls, muffins and fruit appeared before her. Taking a selection, she began eating, using the silence of the room to help her think. After all, it was roughly two weeks until she went back to school for her seventh and final year, and now was as good a time as any for self-evaluation. Not that that she put a lot of weight on self-assessment.
She paused from eating temporarily, staring moodily out of the window. Moody was as bad as cheerful, really. Seeing as she hadnt decided on a mood and all. It seemed introspective would be the mood of the day. Well, her weapons master would certainly be pleased. She was less likely to include fatal errors in her routine if she was feeling introspective.
Not that she had ever actually killed anyone, though. That was when the use of magic and shielding spells came in very useful. Fewer people died because of them, funnily enough. Pansy rolled her eyes at her thoughts and pushed her plate away from her, leaning back. The room was silent, though the faint echo of birdsong came in from the gardens. Pansy sighed and pushed back her chair, standing and making her way out of the dining room. This house really was too big, she reflected. Considering her parents were rarely in residence, and there was only her, and occaisionally her older brother Lucas. Mind you, Lucas was twenty four and 'independent', despite the monthly donation from father to boost his ever-small bank balance.
Pansy walked silently down the hall to the double doors at the end, her bedroom. Inside was the four-poster wrought iron bed, hung with pale-green cotton curtains that billowed at the slightest hint of wind. The walls were a pale gold-cream, and the floor was polished wooden boards. Her sheets were forest-green satin, as was her duvet. The furniture was all wrought iron and glass, with the odd dark green velvet cushion dotted around in random places.
Pansy shed her robe over the stool by the vanity and wandered into the bathroom, pausing to stare at her reflection in the big mirror over the gold and cream marble surface. She was medium height, with an oval face and pale skin. She had long gold-blonde hair that was more wavy then curly, due to its length and weight. Her blue eyes were wide and framed with gold lashes. She had sculpted cheekbones and a small mouth, and a small upturned nose.
Her torso was long and fairly lean. Her stomach was mostly flat and her hips bones stuck forward against her skin. She had long legs and small feet. Her hands were small and narrow, and her nails perfectly manicured. Pansy didn't like to think of herself as vain, but she had lost a lot of weight over the summer and was fairly pretty. She also had money, and enjoyed taking care of herself. Why have money, after all, if you didn't spend part of it on yourself?
Pansy stepped into the hot shower, standing still under the pounding water that ran over her body. Then she stirred herself from her motionless reverie and washed her hair and body before stepping out and wrapping the huge white towel around herself. The mirrors were all steamed up.
Pansy moved into her bedroom, dropping her towel on the floor behind her and standing before the wardrobe thoughtfully. What to wear…god knew she had a huge selection…there was the stand-alone wardrobe she was looking at now, full of the stuff she usually wore, and then there were the two walk in wardrobes crammed with clothes that were considered 'last season' by her parents, who were more fashion concerned than she was. They were the clothes that she took to school, the last-season ones. At school, the expensive labels and the nearly up-to-date fashion made everyone think that she watched fashion like a hawk, when actually all her clothes were all last-season. Mind you, the school was so last century, last season must seem like only seconds ago.
"What do you think?" Pansy asked out loud.
"Depends what you're doing today Milia." The mirror said over her shoulder. All the furniture called her Emilia or Milia, which was her real first name. Pansy was her middle name, but the one she went by. It was less remarkable, and Pansy suited the bimbo-like character she played at school.
"I thought I'd ride out to the grove and then meet the Master there."
"Then wear active clothes."
"I'd never have thought of that." Pansy muttered under her breath, pulling out loose cotton hipster yoga pants and a cropped stretch support top, plus blue and white lacy underwear. She quickly dressed, her eyes scanning the shoes racks for her riding boots, finally spotting them in the corner under a pile of expensive–last-season' slippers. Personally, as long as it was pretty and she liked it, Pansy was quite prepared to wear the same clothes forever, regardless of the season.
She braided her long blonde wavy hair, pulled on her boots and grabbed her riding crop before heading downstairs to the stables.
She met Tom on the stairs on his way up, and she smiled a greeting. He paused, touching her arm to make her stop too.
"Pansy, we need to talk."
Pansy sighed. She didn't need this right now, although to be absolutely truthful, if he hadnt broken up with her, she would have had to break up with him. He was a good fuck, but he had the personality of a brain damaged goldfish.
"I'm sorry, but I don't think we're going to work." Tom began. He eyed Pansy apprehensively. She had a reputation for tantrums and unwarranted and unexpected violence after break ups. She didn't look like she was preparing to throw anything, though. "We want different things. I want…well, money. And you…well. You want other things."
Pansy waited. She was pretty sure there was another part to this speech. There was either the 'stay friends' bit, or the 'let's not tell anyone" bit. It varied from boy to boy, really.
"But I don't think we should let this get around." Tom finished. Pansy raised a single blonde eyebrow.
"Ashamed?" She asked mockingly.
"No! We had a great time."
"No we didn't. You had a sexual rollercoaster, which is what you wanted, and I got a sexual distraction, which is what I wanted. We didn't have fun. And the summer's nearly over now, so I'm glad you got the break up out of the way. I'll tell the house-elves to have your things by the front door in two hours. I'm going out. Goodbye, Tom." Pansy leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek, then walked past him down the stairs, tapping the riding crop against her boot with a small smile, remembering the way he had flinched as she kissed him.
The stables were empty except for the huge dun stallion. Pansy patted him on the nose before tacking him up and leading him out the stables. She quickly swung up onto him, and then cantered out of the stable yard, and across the field towards the wood.
Just inside the wood was a rocky outcrop, and Pansy slid off the horse and went around the outcrop to where a standing stone covered in moss stood alone in a green patch of grass. On the stone, just visible through the moss, was etched eleven words.
'How fearful to love that which can be touched by death'
This was the Parkinson family secret, which, if it ever got out, would totally destroy their reputation.
The thing was, the woman Pansy currently called mother was actually her aunt, the twin sister of her mother, who had died giving birth to twin sons. At this point in the story, it was James Parkinson who was the culprit. Until of course you realised the twin boys were not actually his. This in itself would be bad, but not unusual. The terrible part came from the fact that their father was the stable hand.
Of all the ways to sink to a scum-sucker, sleeping with the stable hand and then getting pregnant had to be one of the worst. So when Juliana Parkinson died giving birth, Lorenna Greenfeather, the identical twin sister of Juliana, agreed to take her place, thus making her way to the top of wizarding society in a way she had never done before, and inheriting lots of money as well. It was a brilliant idea.
And of course, it covered up the scandal pretty well, too.
Pansy kissed her fingertips and then rested them on the stone for a moment. "Seventh year, mother." She murmured. "I've decided to stop pretending now, arent you proud? You never did like me pretending. You never said anything, but I could tell. Even when I was six." There was no response from the stone, and Pansy sighed. "I have to go now. I'll tell Lucas to come and see you and maybe he will. It would be a first. I'll come back before I catch the train, I promise."
Pansy bent and touched the grass at the base of the stone with her hand, feeling the cool grass. And suddenly, she felt like someone had poured ice water over her, and she recognised the sensation from school.
She fell back with a yell, staring at the white spectre that hovered above the grave where she had stood moments before. It was her mother, certainly, dressed in the white satin gown and pearls she had been buried in. Her hair floated around her head, and her eyes were sad.
"Emilia."
"Mother." Pansy stood up slowly, cautiously. "Why…why are you a ghost? Why now? You've been dead ten years."
"Emilia, a time has come." The voice of the ghost was empty, hollow. "A time when you will have to find yourself, despite what anybody else might tell you is right. A time to betray all to walk the right path. In this time no longer can you play the child Pansy. You now have to become the woman Emilia Rose DeMarktopf."
"Rose DeMarktopf?" Pansy asked. "What on earth are you talking about?"
"You were not born to continue the Malfoy family line, Emilia. You were born to aid a Child of Light agains the child of dark."
"Potter?" Pansy asked incredulously. "Against Voldemort? But we support Voldemort, remember?"
"James Parkinson supports him, which is why he could never be allowed to make me conceive."
"Are you saying…did he have any legimate children by you? And who the hell is my father?"
"James had no children by me. Your father is Patrick DeMarktopf. You were born for a specific purpose, Emilia. You and the other DeMarktopf daughter were both born to help the Child of Light to defeat the Child of Dark."
"The other daughter? Are you saying I have an illegimate sister as well?"
"Your sister is not illegimate, nor was she born by me. She is your half sister."
"What's her name? Do I know her?" Pansy asked. The mention of a possible sister stirred something in her.
"Her name is Selena Ivy DeMarktopf. But like you, she has a more commonly used name, which is Hermione Louisa Granger."
"Hermione? Granger's my sister?!"
"Selena and you were born to be companions to the Child of Light, and it is right that you two should work together. In Lorenna's jewelery box are two rings. They are plain silver, with a single star etched on them and a single diamond in the center of the star. Take them both and give one to Selena. Mail it if you must. But Emilia, tell no one. Not Lorenna, not James, not Lucas."
"Lucas…so he's illegimate as well?"
"No. He's perfectly legimate, and he is James' son. But I did not bear him."
"So dad – James - was having an affair as well? I realise wizards don't put a lot of basis on traditional weddings, but have you never heard of 'till death do us part' and 'to be faithful only to your spouse'?"
"No. You understand the situation with Lorenna, do you not?"
"Yes."
"You've know of course about the Greenfeather sisters."
"Yeah. You and Lorenna were twins."
"Lorenna, Julianna and me were triplets."
"Julianna? But you're Julianna!"
"No. James' first wife was my sister Julianna. She died, and I was brought in to replace her. My name, until my wedding to James, was Isabella. When I died, Lorenna was brought in to replace me and her name is now Julianna."
"Oh my god." Pansy said dumbly. There was nothing else to say.
"Because we were identical, we continued to look the same as we aged, which is why no one has noticed that James has had three wives."
"But the others…surely they noticed that they kept dying?"
"Of course. It was the sad death in a minor family. Few people actually realise that Julianna Parkinson was a Greenfeather, and they are the people who would not dare breathe a word of it to anyone else."
"Oh."
"Emilia, you muse give the ring to Selena. It is of paramount importance. Lorenna will do anything to stop the Children of Light, and the only reason you're alive is that she doesn't realise you're one of them. Do not tell her!"
"I wont…" Pansy spun. The ghost had disappeared and a twig had snapped in the woods. Pansy adjusted her grip on her riding crop at her side. It wasn't much of a weapon, but it would do. The rest of her weapons were currently behind her across the clearing on the stallion's back in saddlebags.
Movement through the trees caught her gaze, and Pansy turned her head to see a large grey wolf step from the trees. The sound of the stallion snorting made her glance over her shoulder and saw that large wolves were stepping from the trees all around them. Pansy kept an eye out. Wolves barely ever snapped twigs, so it was pretty safe to assume something else was with them.
But nothing came. The wolves merely continued pressing forward and Pansy continued taking cautious steps backwards. One growled at the horse, who decided it had had enough and with a huge leap over the wolves heads bolted for the trees.
Pansy continued looking around, assessing the situation. It did not look good. The wolves were all large, and looked very strong. With an abrupt thud Pansy backed into the monolith above her mother's grave. The wolves surrounded her and the standing stone and sat down, watching her calmly. Pansy saw no way out, so she readjusted her grip on the crop, which would probably do little more than irritate the wolves, and then forcibly relaxed her body, regulating her breathing and her heartbeat.
Then something completely unexpected happened. The wolf before her stood up, stepping forward. It sniffed her feet, her knees, her crotch. Then it rose up on two legs, resting its forefeet on Pansy's shoulders, pushing her back into the rock. And then she saw the silver around its neck, the band with the single starburst on it with a sparkling diamond in the center.
"Child of Light?" Pansy whispered, her voice trembling. The wolf's nose was inches away from her face and its teeth were huge. The wolf watched her out of ice-blue eyes and then stepped back, remaining on two legs. And then it changed, as did all the wolves around it.
They turned into pale skinned men and women, with white hair and ice-blue eyes. They were dressed all in white leather trousers and shirts, and all wore a silver band around their neck with the single starburst on it. They bowed gracefully, and Pansy jerkily nodded her head in return. Scared was one word for it.
But why say she was scared when you could say she was bloody fucking terrified?
"We are the Wolves." The leader said. Pansy nodded. "We are yours to call upon as a Child of Light."
"So the other Children of Light can call on you too?" Pansy asked.
"No. They have their own familiars to call upon. We are for you to call upon when you need help." Pansy nodded in understanding, slowly relaxing.
"What's your name?"
"You could not pronounce it. You may call me Ahret."
"Okay…Ahret. How on earth am I meant to get the Child of Light rings from Lorenna?"
"Take these. They are identical in every way apart from the extended use of their power, so they can be used once in a minor way as a Child of Light ring but then they are useless. It will be enough to fool Lorenna." Ahret held out two silver rings that felt unusually heavy in Pansy's hand. "But you must take the rings soon. Selena must have hers three weeks before Mabon."
"That's the first of September. Why, what's happening?"
"Perhaps nothing. Perhaps something that could ensure the Child of Dark's success. We cannot take that chance. Here." Ahret handed Pansy a silver chain from which hung a silver whistle. "Use this to call us, and keep it with you at all times." Pansy put it over her head, tucking it into her shirt. Ahret stepped back. "We have done all we can to help you. Now it is up to you and the other Children of Light." He fell onto all fours as a wolf, and then entire pack loped away.
After a moment, Pansy shook her head, feeling the whistle under her shirt to check it was real, and the rings in her pocket. Then she started the walk into the grove, seeing as her horse had abandoned her. Around her the silver birch woods gave way to oak, and soon even the shrubbery was gone, leaving only the great trees. In the centre of the wood the trees made a perfect circle, in which was lush grass and the place where Logan taught Pansy weapon skills.
Logan was there before Pansy, as usual. She couldn't see him, but she could feel his presence. Having met the wolves, Pansy wouldn't be at all surprised to find that Logan was a wolf, or something like it.
"I'm not a wolf, nor am I one of Selena's owls, or Orion's Ravens, or Cai's foxes. But I am of the like." Pansy watched as Logan dropped from the tree before her, dressed in soft black leather as always. He had shoulder length hair, most of it in dreadlocks, though the odd braid was dotted around in it. It was woven with beads and coloured thread until it looked like a colourful birdnest.
"Who are Orion and Cai?"
"The two other children of light besides you and your sister."
"Are they DeMarktopfs as well?"
"No. They have their own family names. Are you ready to practise?"
"I am."
"Let us start then."
They trained with swords, with staffs, with knives, with balls-and-chains and with whips embedded with shards of glass. Then they moved onto body work, fighting weaponless in hundreds of styles from around the planet. By the time they had finished, six hours had passed and the sun was setting, casting twilight across the clearing. Pansy and Logan sat cross-legged on the ground facing each other, their hands resting on their knees.
"You return to school in two weeks." Logan commented, his dark green eyes focused on Pansy's face. "I have already made arrangements with Dumbledore for me to continue your training. However, before we leave for there, there is still one other matter to attend to. At Yule there will be the Initiation of Souls, which I believe you will be ready for, should you continue working for it. I realise that you know little about the Initiation of Souls, but I am willing to teach you, should you be willing to learn."
"I am." Pansy said calmly. This had been what she had been working towards for the last three years with Logan. The Initiation of Souls was something she knew little about, but something that her heart yearned for.
"The Initiation of Souls is the ritual in which one becomes a Souler. As a Soulere, there is great potential, but great responsibility. The power to control the actions of others is there, and the power to imprison or free souls is also there. The Initiation of Souls began long ago, before the birth of Christ. Then, we were like priests. People called to us when they were dying, and we would go to them and cleanse their souls. They could die in peace, but we…"
"You took their sins." Pansy breathed. "And went straight to-"
"To hell. They say hell does not exist but it does. As a Souler you would live until you chose to die. But you would free others who were not so lucky. But you…"
"To take on such a burden is so selfless." Pansy whispered, barely listening. "You destroy your own soul to save others. Who could be that selfless?"
"A select few. Many are initiated without knowing what they take on, but it can be born. It gives you powers of your own, besides the ability to take the sins of others. You can often read minds, move more quickly that people can see, some can fly. It depends."
"Not all bad then." Pansy said with a wry smile. "I accept. I will do the training and then undergo the initiation."
"It is not something to be taken on lightly."
"I do not do it so. But it is something my heart has reached for for years, since I first heard of it. And I will accept it."
"So be it."
&
A/N So didya like it? I figured that in 3-4 years of reading harry potter fanfiction I have never read a Pansy fanfic…tho that doesn't mean that they don't exist obviously. I was prolly looking in all the wrong places…but anyway. I thought I'd write one…the girl behind the bitch so to speak. Tell me if you'd like me to update…but updates will take ages…I don't have internet access to update things most of the year so I'm limited to school holidays. I hope you like it so far…Istalindar.