AN: While trying to update this all I could do was cringe at my old writing so I have just decided to completely rewrite this. Hopefully this version will be much better than the previous one, but it's still very RomComish. Anyways, Happy Holidays, guys!
He decided it the night before. It seemed genius in the moment, the idea striking him suddenly and blowing him away by how easy of a solution it was. Easy, he told himself. Natasha had his back, of course she would say yes. Easy.
Then morning came.
After serving two tours in the army, his internal clock always had him waking up before the sun had even risen. In the four years they had lived together Steve could count on his hand the amount of times she had been up as early as he was, and of course that morning was an exception. Good. Convenient. Besides the company, it had been normal enough. She had been pouring coffee into her mug shaped like a cat that Wanda had given her for her birthday, and wrapped tightly in a blue jacket that looked suspiciously like the one he had lost a few months before. "You're up early," he commented.
"Not by choice. Had to get to work earlier today."
"You going like that?" He teased while placing another coffee cup next to her. She filled up his cup as he got the cream from the fridge and sugar from the pantry.
"It can count as professional depending on who you ask."
"If you're asking me, my jacket doesn't scream 'lawyer'. My stolen jacket, mind you," he pointed out while stirring his coffee until it swirled into a lighter brown color.
"You have no proof."
"I can take you to court," he said, "my roommates a lawyer."
"I bet she's horrible at her job." She started shrugging out of the article of clothing in question, revealing a grey camisole underneath.
"Keep it," he was quick to say, "it looks better on you." She smiled at him in thanks and they went on with their morning routines respectively. He felt the words wanting to come up, felt the nervous energy in the pit of his stomach every time there was an opportunity. They didn't come out though. Couldn't come out.
Before he knew it, she was gathering her things and turning back to her room. Just like that his window was closing. "Nat," he called. Ask her. She'll say yes, he knew she would. It was Nat. Just Nat. Or... or he could go for a run. Which seemed a lot more appealing in the moment. "Have a good day at work," he said instead.
"You too, Steve."
Steve heaved a sigh as he stared at the illustration in front of him. The same illustration that he had been trying to work on the entire morning, and after hours of work it left him creatively frustrated and with only a few markings on the page to show for it. Nothing was working. The pencil strokes were not moving how he wanted them to, the lines looking nothing like how he envisioned. He pushed off his desk, his chair rolling away from his work as he ran a hand through his hair. His phone vibrated loudly from his satchel. Usually he would be so invested in a drawing that he never checked his phone during work, but he was frustrated to say the least and his hand was cramping from the pencil and at that point he was thankful for any distraction.
Heading out for a coffee and wouldn't mind company.
It was from Natasha, and the lack of emojis was alarming to say the least. So he didn't hesitate to send a quick reply to her before grabbing his bag and setting his supplies aside. When Tony had first offered him a job as a graphic designer he had been hesitant to accept. He didn't like the idea of mixing business with personal, or the idea of Tony giving him a hand out when he came home from the army. Ultimately he had taken the job, and as he was walking the few blocks to him and Natasha's usual coffee shop he was grateful for the flexible schedule Tony (well, Pepper) had given him.
Natasha was already there when he pushed the doors open, her blouse and dress pants a stark contrast from her morning appearance. She occupied a table in the back, a scowl written deep in her features as she glared at the empty seat across from her. Yet her features softened a bit at the sight of him, and he didn't know why that made him feeling something warm in his chest at the thought. "Rough morning?" He asked when he sat down.
"Nothing I couldn't handle," she shrugged.
"Want to talk about it?" There was a coffee waiting for him, the writing in marker on the side showing that she ordered him his usual. "Thanks, by the way."
"Don't mention it. And no, it's nothing."
"Doesn't seem like nothing."
She hesitated as she contemplated sharing. He was patient, his attention completely on her as he waited. "Rumlow hit on me again," she said finally, "I worked hard to get where I am, and some sleazy coworker treats me like garbage." There was a fresh wave of anger on her face, and if Steve had never seen her in her pajamas with a face mask on then he might have been slightly intimated.
"You don't deserve that," Steve assured her. She's mentioned him enough times that he was familiar with the man, and he knew enough that if he ever actually met him he wasn't sure he could stop himself from taking a swing at him. How Natasha had not managed to do so herself, he would never know.
"It's nothing new, you know? That's the worst part. If it's not Rumlow then it's just some other guy crossing a line." She sighed, her eyes dropping to the table with a shake of her head. "Doesn't matter," she insisted, even if there was still that veiled anger. It did matter, but she clearly didn't want to talk about it so he was willing to drop it. "What about you? Something's bothering you this morning."
Of course she'd catch on, she probably only took one look at him and instantly knew. "That obvious?" He asked.
"You're an open book. What is it? Work?" She guessed.
"No. Well, I barely got anything done today but no."
She leaned forward with her chin propped up on her hand as she analyzed him. "Has to be something more personal then. It's not anything with Bucky. But maybe something with your mom- no," she said suddenly, "It's your love life," she declared.
"Fine. I broke things off with Sharon."
"I thought it was going well?"
He had already been through the entire conversation with Bucky already. He didn't understand why it was so awkward talking about these things, it was dating. Just dating. Even if he was embarrassingly new to it. In high school he had never caught anyone's attention being as skinny as he was. After graduating he had gained some muscle so he could join the army, where he gained even more muscle and it felt like he had an entirely new body in a way. But then he was back home, and suddenly, women and men were slipping him their numbers and not-so-subtly flirting with him more than Steve ever expected. Still, it was strange talking about it. Some things were just personal. A relationship should be shared by the people in it, not Bucky handing him a beer and clasping a hand to his shoulder while saying "that's some shit" after Steve told him about another failed relationship. Now he had to go through the whole thing again with Natasha of all people. He looked at the garlands hanging from the ceiling, the Christmas light necklaces the workers were wearing, and the poster with the Christmas drinks, anywhere but Natasha. "It turns out she's Peggy's cousin."
"No."
"Yes."
"God, Rogers, you just can't catch a break," Natasha laughed.
"This is so comforting, I enjoy our talks so much, Nat." Steve said, running a hand through his hair.
Peggy was still a very sore subject. It was possibly the worst breakup Steve had ever had, he had hurt her so badly that she didn't even want to see him face to face, and he still was not sure what he did. It started over the phone when she had expressed her discomfort over Natasha. Which still, Steve did not understand. She was Natasha. Just Natasha. His roommate that he found on Craigslist, who told dad jokes that made him roll his eyes, and roped him into movie marathons that she quoted along to every week. Peggy had told him that they should just get together, that she wouldn't stand in their way. Steve's confusion and her despair only led to a breakup through the phone that night.
"Look, I'm sorry," Natasha said, cutting into Steve's thoughts, "I shouldn't have laughed."
"It's fine," Steve assured her before he chuckled and said, "It's pretty funny, though." Which had Natasha laughing into her coffee cup, Steve was sure if she were anyone else it would have spilled all over her. Natasha was strangely graceful and coordinated after years of ballet, something she revealed to him after he brought up her grace. He had instantly been able to picture her dancing, his hand twitching to draw the image in his mind out. He never did though. He felt like it would be intruding on Natasha's life back in Russia. She rarely shared anything about that time to him, and he was not going to let his mind think about it if she did not want him to.
"You're pushing it, Nat."
"Sorry, I'm sorry," Natasha said, her laughter dying down.
"The worst part about it is she was going to spend Christmas with me."
Natasha raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"I let it slip once that I was seeing someone to my mom, and she kept telling me to invite her on Christmas. Then I told Sharon about it because I thought she'd think it was funny, right? Well she didn't think it was so funny, and thought it would be fun I guess. So I accidentally invited Sharon to spend Christmas with me because I couldn't say no." He felt idiotic saying that out loud, and hearing himself say the words just made him realize how weird it really was.
"Sounds clingy," Natasha commented.
"I was actually kinda looking forward to it," Steve mumbled.
"Cliiingy," Natasha said in a sing-song voice. "You tell your mom yet?"
"No," Steve trailed off. Now or never. "I was wondering if you wanted to come with me."
"I'd be intruding," she was quick to say.
"You wouldn't. We go to this Christmas party every year at Bucky's mom's place anyway." It would be the perfect time to ask the question, yet he hesitated. It felt creepy on his end, especially after the morning she had at work. He was no better than Rumlow, like every man in Natasha's life that saw her beauty and thought it was a reason to not treat her like a person. His mother raised him better than that. If he was going to be embarrassed showing up single again, then so be it.
"Hold on, are you asking me to pretend to date you?" Well. He didn't say it. How she always managed to know everything he'd never know, but it was too late to back out. He'd take no as an answer if she understandably didn't want to.
"I was."
"This means a lot to you doesn't it?" Natasha sighed. "It's what was bothering you all morning."
Maybe it was a little pathetic of him to ask his roommate to pretend to date him on Christmas, but he couldn't go through another year of having to tell everyone that he's still single. Because, really, he was getting damn sick of it. "It does," he said, "and even if you don't want to, the normal invitation still stands."
Natasha's eyes searched his face, and he squirmed under her gaze. He was not exactly sure what she was looking for, but then again he was not going to pretend like he understood her. She seemed to find what she was looking for as she sighed and slumped into her chair. "Fine."
"You'll do it?" He asked, surprised.
"I'll do it." She confirmed. "I don't know how any girl has broken up with you. You turn into a golden retriever when you're sad. You're a grown man, the eyes shouldn't work," Natasha grumbled.
Relief washed over Steve, except- "Why do you assume that I'm always the one dumped? Never mind, just thank you, Nat. Seriously, thank you."
"I'm going to regret this," Natasha said, pulling on her coat. She rose from her chair, "I need to get back to work, I'll see you back at the apartment."
"See ya."
He watched her leave, still in disbelief, and she seemed to be in a better mood when she stepped out into the winter air, even if she had to go back to her firm. Steve felt better too, like a weight had been lifted off his chest. But then it felt like it had been put right back in place when a man gazed at Natasha as she left. He was surprised she didn't notice, but what surprised him most was the pang of jealousy it sent through him.
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