| Dying to Be With You'
By: Shadow@ngel
Rating: Pg 13
Summary: Some fairy Tales don't have happy endings . . .
A Hilde/Duo fic. Sad & really Waffy. Possible Angst?
Note: This takes place right before Duo leaves Hilde
to go and fight up in space.
Duo waited in the doorway, watching Hilde. She was sitting in front of the TV watching something she had been waiting to see for quite a while now. He was finally going to tell her. He had been putting it off until the very last possible moment to tell her. Leaving a note would devastate her. If he was going to tell her, he was going to do it in person.
He was leaving tomorrow afternoon, and he didn't have much time. The battle was already starting to heat up. It looked like Treize and Zechs really wanted to massacre each other and they wanted to do it fast.
"Hilde?" he said her name once more before she finally turned her head. It was hard getting Hilde to get away from her shows, and it took a lot of pestering on Duo's part to get her to actually look at him.
"What, Duo? Can't it wait? I've been waiting to see this for a long time. There ain't no way I'm gonna wait for the series to start over to see it," she muttered and looked back at the TV.
(Okay... that was great, Duo.) he thought to himself sarcastically. Duo sighed and came up behind the couch, and behind her. He placed his arms around her neck and rubbed his cheek against hers.
Both of them didn't move for a few minutes. Hilde, in shock had dropped the controller and had her eyes wide open.
After a moment there was a gasp. Duo opened his eyes abruptly and looked at Hilde.
"H-Hilde? What? What's wrong?" Then as he noticed her pale face, he realized she had been holding her breath the whole time. Her pale color was replaced by a deep red blush.
"You have my attention now," she whispered, almost to herself. She still had that surprised expression plastered on her face. Duo laughed lightly and patted the top of her head. Hilde looked disappointed for a moment before she smiled. Duo felt satisfied.
Well… sort of…
"I have something to tell you," he said. Hilde suddenly noticed the lack of 'bounce', as she called it, in his voice. He was being dead serious. He was almost NEVER serious, so it was a good thing to listen to him ever time he was.
"Duo." she said. Her eyes drooped a little bit. "You're leaving to fight again." Duo didn't answer. His eyes were poised on the floor as well. "Aren't you." He was still silent.
"I thought so. But it's-um- okay. I know you have to," said Hilde. She took a step back. "It's your duty." She finally turned a headed out of the room, her footsteps suddenly incredibly loud. She closed the door softly behind her. Duo snapped his head up as he realized she was out of the room.
"Dammit, why can't she just…" Duo threw his hand up into the air hopelessly. He tried to look mad, but failed miserably. He treaded into the kitchen and took an apple off the table. He wiped it on his shirt and looked at it a brief moment.
"Hilde, you stubborn jerk." he muttered and took a humongous bite out of the defenseless apple.
She sat on her bed and stared at herself in the mirror. Her features were pursed up in an ugly frown. Duo's voice suddenly appeared in her mind, taking the form of her reflection in the mirror. He mocked her.
(You keep making faces like that and it'll stay that way) She threw a pillow at the mirror and fell back against her bed.
He was leaving her. Again, she might add. He'd been doing that an awful lot lately. One of these days he was going to leave her for good. She could feel it in her bones. Duo was the kind of guy who'd use a girl to get something he wanted. At least that's how Hilde analyzed him the first time they met.
And so far, Duo hadn't proven her wrong. And how Hilde wish he would already. She'd hate to be right.
He still hadn't changed either. From the first day she'd laid eyes on him, he was a punk. He was still a punk to this day. He was never going to change, but it wasn't like she was going to stop trying to make him change. Giving up would just mean that she was weak, and couldn't take up the challenge. She wouldn't want to be seen as weak. Being seen like that was humiliating.
Not that she ever experienced something like that, no. And thank goodness for that. Hilde looked up at the ceiling and sighed, much like the way Duo had in the living room where she was watching that new Soap Opera. It was a good one two. And Duo had just plain ruined it for her.
She wanted to go back out and watch it, but she didn't want to face Duo again. Most likely, they'd end up in a fight if they saw each other too soon.
She hated when she got into fights with Duo. Secretly, they hurt. Duo always won the arguments. She always let him win. And it was just because he was so cute. He knew it, too. Hilde glanced at the mirror one more time and wondered whether she was pretty or not. She got to her knees on the floor and scooted toward her reflection.
She scanned over herself. She was so ugly. The hair was too short, her eyes were too large, her lips were too small, her head was a horrible shape. What an ugly appearance! Why couldn't she be pretty. Like Noin.
Now Noin was so pretty. If Hilde could look like her, she would die on the spot. She sighed and wondered just what Duo was thinking. "If Hilde wasn't so cute, I'd smack her real hard." he whispered to himself. He got up from the stool and paused for a freethrow.
"And Duo is ready for the final shot. If he makes this one…. uh…" he smirked. "Hilde will kiss him!" He shot the apple core into the air, and it began to fall toward the trash can.
It missed.
"Damn thing moved!" he said to himself. He walked over to the apple core, picked it up and chucked it into the trash can at close range. "And Duo makes it anyway." She finished imitating the Russian announcer and walked into the hallway toward his own room.
He stopped at Hilde's door. He stared blankly a moment. He brought hid hand up to the door, but hesitated before finally calling her.
"Hilde? Hey Hilde. Lemme in. We gotta talk," he said. He listened closely. To his surprise he heard her footsteps come up to the door.
It opened in front of him to reveal a curious Hilde.
"What Duo? I already told you, it's fine." she said. "I understand perfectly fine. You need to do this-."
"Just shut up for a second Hilde." For the second time that day, Duo got Hilde's attention in 0.006 seconds flat. He grabbed her hand. "I'm sorry, Hilde. But I have to do this. It's not like I wanna go back up to space and fight, but its just something I gotta do. I will come back to you. I promise."
"Is that-,"
"I'm not done yet." He interrupted. "I need you to make me a promise now. I want you to promise me. That you'll stay down here on Earth."
"Duo, I…" Duo looked at her with pleading eyes.
"Hilde, please. I want someone to come back home to," he said to her, placing his forehead against hers. He stared into her eyes and squeezed both of her hands within his. "Promise me you'll wait for me." Hilde closed her eyes.
"I promise…I promise I'll be here for you if you need me," she said. Duo failed to notice the choice of her words and thanked her.
"Thank you Hilde. Wait for me. I'll come back to you no matter what it takes," said Duo. Hilde hoped for a goodbye kiss. Duo came in closer, but Hilde suddenly backed out. She'd see him again. She wasn't going to say good-bye until the very end.
"Why are you saying your farewells? You know you'll see me again, Duo," Hilde smiled, and by reflex, Duo smiled with her.
"How do I know I'll see you again," asked Duo. Hilde hugged Duo tightly.
"You will." It was a promise. ******** Heavy breathing filled the silent void of nothingness. A young woman resided inside of a cockpit, her eyes darting back and forth as several dolls circle around her.
"I don't have TIME for this!" she cried. She charged forward straight through the line of mobile suits that littered in her path.
Hilde glanced around her. This wasn't the first time she had been in space, but it still felt as if the hands she was using to pilot the suit was inept and clumsy. And her emotions were playing tricks on her. Lastly, words could not describe the how alone she felt.
War was wreaking havoc around her that very moment. And purely by instinct, she knew it was a battle that would surely determine the winner, and the loser, of the long waged war between Earth and space. As determined as she felt, she was still scared. She wasn't scared of dying, no, but she was actually scared of failing. And she was scared of the black tone of space. Not even the darkest corners of the earth were like it. For a brief moment, Hilde wondered whether any one else fighting the battle felt like she did. Perhaps.
Her mission was to find Duo and give him the data disk. She couldn't afford to- no, she would not fail. She would not fail. She would not fail.
She repeated the hopeless words to herself over and over. She felt the urge to cry as she remembered just how 'big' space was. She held her tears back by closing her eyes and making a dash for Peacemillion. She summoned all her courage and pushed the throttle forward.
Keeping both her eyes on her destination, she barely noticed the two mobile suits that were launched from Libra. She knew exactly what those two mobile suits were. They weren't dolls. They were new models. One red, one blue, both out to destroy her.
Was she going to make it at all? Did she have a chance?
"No! No I can't! I have to make it!" God, she had to. At the thought of her death being meaningless, she did cry. She sobbed hard as she reached toward the small console. Maybe. Just maybe she could contact Peacemillion. It was her last resort, but it was something that she had to do if she wanted to live.
She was so weak, no wonder Duo left her at Earth in the first place. She grunted out of frustration and ripped the back of her palm across her eyes, roughly wiping away her tears.
"I _am_ weak…" she whispered as a blast hit the Taurus. With a cry of agony, she opened the link and began to speak.
"Peacemillion! Peacemillion! I am requesting assistance. I'm currently being pursued…" she stopped and sobbed a little lightly before continuing with even more determination pouring into her already cracking voice. Before she knew it, another beam hit her. She gave up and cried out. "D..Duo!!"
She blinked. Had she just yelled for Duo? No, she couldn't have. She wasn't even thinking of Duo at the moment. All she cared about right then was making to Peacemillion. It was stupid to think that Duo would come to rescue her. Who knew where Duo was. The boy was just about unpredictable as Heero himself.
"You aren't going to stop me! I'll make it! Just watch me!" she said. She spoke with a firm, but distant tone in her voice. As if the dolls had heard her, they let loose a flurry of ammunition at her. The blast rocked her and she sobbed once more. God, why was she crying! She was going to die one way or another, why not die now?
Because she had a mission to complete.
"Goddammit! I… why am I so weak? I thought I was strong… Duo said I … he said I was… Duo said I was strong," She couldn't find the right words. He vision was beginning to blur and her thoughts were beginning to mush together in a mix of this and that. She couldn't go on like that.
"I'll be strong. I'll be strong for Duo," she whispered. Then, a shot rang out. One of the mobile suits pursuing her exploded. Hilde looked behind her in shock. Duo was coming for her. He was going to save her…
She smiled weakly. Her grin abruptly was wiped off her face as the midnight blue mobile suit fired a large beam of power at her.
Hilde froze inside of her Taurus. Nononono… it wasn't supposed to be like this! She was supposed to bring it back safely and hand it to Duo. And Duo was supposed to hug her and tell her what a great job she had done. Duo would tell her everything was going to be all right. And he was supposed to tell her she was the woman he wanted. He'd say the three words she wanted to hear most. And right after he'd say how strong she was.
But it wasn't happening. As if in slow motion, the beam made its way toward her. She knew Duo wouldn't save her in time. The tears began flooding her eyes again. She wasn't going to live through it, not this time.
If she was going to go down, she was going to let him know. She put her hand on her heart and smiled. At least he would know she ..that she…
"Duo, I'm not going to make it and you have to listen to what I have to say… I…" she paused. She shattered her fears in an instant as the words made their way to her mouth. But she couldn't bring herself to say it.
(Tell him Hilde. You love him. Tell him that before you go…) a voice in her mind told her. She nodded and yelled the words out.
"Duo I lo-." …Static… "….Hilde?" Duo's heart stopped. More static. "HILDE??" He finally noticed the torn remains of the Taurus. And he couldn't breathe.
He couldn't breathe. No. She couldn't be gone. She wasn't dead. Trowa went through the same thing. His mobile suit exploded, but he survived. Hilde was alive. She wasn't in the Taurus. It was only someone who sounded like her.
He felt his voice crack as he let out an ear-piercing cry.
"HHIIIILLLLDDDEEE!!!!" There was nothing but silence. "Goddammit… you promised you would stay home…You promised me!" He yelled at her. But there was no one there to reply because she was gone.
"YOU FUCKING PROMISED!" He fought the mobile suit with fury and rage growing inside of him the longer he could feel the hot tears sliding down his face. They slipped off his chin and floated within the space of his cockpit.
"You promised, you promised, you promised, you promised. YOU. PROMISED!!!" he brought his scythe down on it and it exploded in front of him, rocking his Gundam hard. The silence took over once more. And he sobbed as he felt the shadows of his soul grow. He closes his eyes and brought his arms around his cold body. And he brought those same arms around his cold heart.
He kept repeating those same words over. And over. And over. As if the pain would go away suddenly, and Hilde would be there in front of him.
He kept saying the words until his voice was too raspy and cracked to chant it any longer. Slowly, he let his eyelids go lower and lower.
He sobbed once before be drifted away inside of Deathscythe.
"I …I know Hilde. I know." he whispered in his sleep.
How'd ya like it? I kno it's probably the worst fic you'll ever read in your lifetime*sigh* but oh well. Review plz. i'd like to know how the story was. I wanna kno how much my slaving over this was worth. I wrote it in about an hour, so that's the reason it sucked okay? gimme some slack. ^_^. Well, take care. I gotta jet. Bye. |
