A/N: I've been meaning to upload this forever! This is so random and just for laughs, hope you all like it :3 I'm trying to be more active, so expect more from me soon! WOOT! HTF! :)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

Messin' With Splendid

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, Cha-Ching!" the announcer's voice rang loudly into the microphone as the crowd roared with pleasure. Lifty stood on the stage, grinning. 'This is gonna be epic!' he thought. He looked around at the band and saw his brother and a few other people who were strangers to him. He didn't really care right now because his inner child was winning his excitement.

The band began to play; Lifty had a guitar and began to strum away. He could barely see his brother in the back playing the drums. When they started playing, Lifty knew something was off. He wasn't sure what chords he was playing, the A chord? The G chord? What song were they even playing? And his brother's beat was completely off. He wanted to yell over to him "can't you play any better than that?" But the crowd kept on screaming just as loud as when they had started.

Lifty was starting to become upset with himself, not just because of the fact that they were all horrible, it was that he couldn't even remember when or how they had even gotten on this stage in the first place. The stage was probably ten feet tall and he didn't see any steps anywhere. Then Lifty knew something must be wrong with him, maybe anxiety or something, but he could have sworn the lights were changing colors. Or maybe that was normal at concerts? How would he know? He couldn't think straight when the beat was this erratic. Then Lifty got a sudden feeling of hunger and then- no way. The crowd was turning into French fries?

"What is going on?" he said out loud. He really wanted to scream. Yes, this was definitely a feeling of anxiety; he thought he'd pass out. Wait was that possible? Was he-?

"Woah!" Lifty opened his eyes and blinked. 'Ah, only a dream,' he concluded as he got out of his bed and shook his dark green hair. His room was small, only room for a single bed. His twin brother, Shifty, had about the same size room next door to his. Lifty maneuvered his way out of his room through the piles of junk on the floor. Various stolen items and such lay scattered on the ground. Shifty's room was the same way. In fact, pretty much the entire apartment was that way. Lifty sighed. 'No use cleaning it up anyway.'

On his way out, he narrowly stepped out of the way of an old, rotten dish of who knows what, it looked like chili. Considering Lifty didn't eat chili, he assumed his brother had placed it there. Being his older brother, Shifty thought it was his duty to be the one to mess with his younger brother, even though they were only of few minutes apart. He often took trash or leftover food and threw it into his brother's room just to annoy him and make him clean it up. So when Shifty had started that, Lifty just usually took it and threw it right back at him.

When Lifty made it out of his room and into the living area, there Shifty was lying asleep on the couch, snoring away. He was most likely up until 3am watching TV and fell asleep on the couch, which happened a lot. Lifty was almost tempted to go back to his room and grab that bowl of chili and dump it on his brother's lap and say "here, breakfast is served."

Too late. His brother snorted awake to see his brother standing near the couch.

"Ugh, what time is it?" Shifty asked, groggily.

Lifty glanced at the clock. "12:36." he said. With that, Shifty threw his head back on the pillow. Assuming he was trying to go back to sleep, Lifty snatched the fedora hat off his brothers head and headed off to the kitchen. Shifty noticed this and quickly went after him to retrieve his hat. Lifty did this many times to get his brother up and out of bed because he wouldn't put it past Shifty to lie on the couch the entire day. He didn't know what was up with Shifty and that hat. Sometimes he thought he cared more about it than his own brother. 'Well when one day, he loses that hat, he won't be crying to me about it!' Lifty thought.

In the kitchen, Lifty grabbed some cereal and ate it straight from the box. When Shifty came and got his hat, he too searched he cupboards for something to eat, not having any success.

"Geez, quit eating all the food, Lift!" he complained.

"Me? I'm not the one who stays up the whole night and eats it all!" he replied.

"Then who else would?" said Shifty, obviously trying to keep the blame off himself. Lifty just rolled his eyes at his brother's comment. "I'll be right back," Shifty said and walked out the door. Lifty just continued to eat his cereal until his brother came back with a bag of potato chips.

"Where'd you get that?" Lifty asked.

"The neighbor's down the hall are on vacation, so I took it from their room. Heh, I found their car keys in there too, you can get just about anything there." Shifty replied.

"Nice!" Lifty made a mental note to go raid the neighbor's place later. The twins continued to eat their breakfast until they were finished. Now to plan on their daily activities. It was Saturday, so they didn't have to go to school, even though they skipped whenever they wanted.

"What are we gonna do, Shift? I'm bored."

"Yeah, we can't rob the bank because we just did that and there's no money left to steal." Shifty said. Being the thieves of the town, they regularly stole from banks and other venders throughout town. "Wanna go to the park and see if we can mug someone?"

"Sure, sounds good," Lifty replied. The two brothers made their way to the park; of course they were using the neighbor's car since Shifty coincidentally had the key. They could have taken their van, but that wasn't nearly as fun as taking someone else's car. When they got there, there weren't many people at the park to begin with. They saw many people from school, like Cuddles and Giggles who were sitting by a bed of flowers analyzing bugs for their science project, which the twins had no intentions of doing. They also saw Russell by the pond and Handy and Petunia, who waved at them, sitting on a bench chatting.

"I can't believe people actually come here to have fun," Lifty said.

"I know. It's a strange world out there, brother," Shifty replied to his brother's comment as they continued to walk on. They didn't see anyone particularly easy to steal from so they ended up with nothing.

'This bites' Lifty thought. Then they saw another familiar face. "Hey, check out Mr. Do-gooder." He was referring to another classmate of theirs, Splendid. Splendid was what he referred to himself as the town hero. When there were thieves, such as themselves, there had to be someone to stop them, and that was Splendid. He very much irked the two when he tried to foil their schemes. In school, his cheery attitude was almost too much for them to handle.

"Of course he would be doing community service," Shifty snorted. Splendid was speaking to a park manager, who was probably thanking him for his work and dedication to keeping the town beautiful, which people like Lifty and Shifty could care less about. The town was clean and tidy enough as it was if you asked them. If people really wanted to do community service, how about they come clean out their apartment!

"Tch, it irritates me how he thinks he's the greatest thing about his town," Lifty complained.

"Just ignore him, his head is full of hot air," Shifty said and they walked on. Lifty could almost feel the blue hero's eyes burning into his back. They quickly picked up the pace until they were out of Splendid's sight.

Lifty sighed. "We should really put that guy in his place, bro."

"Hell yeah," Shifty replied. "You know, that's actually a great idea. We could rough him up a little, till her stops acting like a girl half the time." Shifty chuckled at his own comment. "Seems like you're getting smarter every day, little bro," he said, ruffling Lifty's hair like he was a little kid.

"Dude! Not in public!" Lifty said embarrassed because he brother often liked to make him look ridiculous in front of people.

So the duo made their way back to their apartment to plot their newest scheme in finding a way to weaken Splendid. On the way back, Shifty rammed the 'borrowed' car into another one in the parking garage.

"Ahh, damn it!" Shifty cursed.

"At least no one's here to see it" Lifty said.

"Yeah, you see a camera anywhere?" They searched around.

"Nah, let's go before someone shows up." So they abandoned the newly dented car and headed up to their room. Shifty got to work in gathering things for their mission.

"Ok," said Shifty, "here are notebooks and pencils, bags to steal stuff, a camera, and a bag of chips. Oh, and I've got some other goodies for destruction of property."

"Cool," Lifty said looking over all the stuff, "Let's go!" So the twins scurried off downtown towards Splendid's house. It wasn't very large, but they could tell it was much nicer than their scrawny apartment. They hid in a bush by the window so they could peek inside.

"See him in there?" Shifty asked.

"No, but there was a car in the garage," replied Lifty.

"Whatever," said Shifty, "Meanwhile, we can graffiti his house." He tossed a can of spray paint to Lifty.

"Aww nice!" Lifty cheered.

"Yeah, but whatever you do, do not put your name anywhere."

"Got it." So they got to work on spray painting the hero's house. Lifty wrote on the siding some not appropriate messages while Shifty worked on drawing a giant middle finger. After about an hour, they'd finally finished.

"Good work my brother!" Shifty said admiring their work.

"Yeah, you too. This is truly a work of art," replied Lifty.

"Come on, let's see if he's there," Shifty said as they ran back to the window. Lifty hoped that none of the neighbors would become suspicious, even though the houses in this area of town were spaced out from each other at a good distance. When they made it back to the window, they saw that Splendid was watching TV, facing the other way, so there was no way of him seeing them. The window was now cracked so Shifty set up his mini camcorder so he could get a good picture and sound for when they'd need it. "Now, we wait for something interesting to happen." After a few minutes, they heard a 'ding' and Splendid got out of his seat and went into the kitchen. Lifty exchanged a confused look with his brother and continued to watch. They saw Splendid take a batch of cookies out of the oven.

"Oh my gosh, they're beautiful!" Splendid squealed as he stared at his cookies with stars in his eyes. The twins outside were trying so hard not to laugh at the fact Splendid enjoyed baking. 'That's such a girl thing!' Lifty thought. The next time he looked through the window, he saw him taking pictures of the cookies!

"Dude, this is brilliant!" Shifty whispered, trying not to laugh. He reached up and pressed the 'record' button on the camera. While the camera was rolling, it was filming Splendid talking to his creations and complimenting on about gorgeous they looked.

"Ok my pretties," he said to the cookies, like they actually understood him, "I'm going to get a quick shower and then I'll be sure to make you beautiful!~" Splendid skipped off to his room. When he was gone, Shifty said:

"Ok, we're going in. Take anything that might be of value."

"Alright, now we're getting to the fun part!" Lifty said excited. They snuck to the front door. Luckily, it was open. Inside was a simple house layout: living room, kitchen, and three doors leading to what they assumed was two rooms and a bathroom. Lifty and Shifty searched the house for money and other valuables.

"Hey, hey Lift! Ya know how he was taking pictures of those cookies? Look at this!" Shifty had a large book in his hands. It was a scrapbook of everything Splendid ever made.

"Holy crap! That is sick! Bring with you!" Lifty said.

"I am! That wuss probably thinks of it as a prized possession, ha!" They continued to search. In ten minutes time, they had come up with his safe, most of the food in his cupboards, the book, the flat screen, the computer, pretty much anything electronic, his wallet, and other knick-knacks. They would have taken his furniture, but they figured they wouldn't have enough time and they didn't have a moving truck with them. The twins laughed together in their success.

"Ok, anything else we should take before we scram?" Lifty asked.

"Hmm, oh! I got it! Be right back!" Shifty ran off into the room Splendid went into earlier. 'He better know what he's doing,' Lifty thought. He looked over at the counter and saw Splendid's cookies sitting there. He grabbed one and took a bite out of it.

"Woah!" Lifty said out loud, "They're really good!" He continued eating the cookies when Shifty ran back in.

"Ok, we gotta go, he'll be out in like five minutes," said Shifty.

"Wait, wait did you take?"

"All of his clothes. I left him a dress." Shifty smirked.

Lifty laughed. "I would have never thought of that!"

"Yeah, I didn't even spare him his heart underwear," Shifty said, "Come on let's get out of here!"

"Wait! Let's take the cookies!"

"Wha-why?" Shifty asked surprised.

"They're good!"

"Dude, we are not taking that girl's cookies!" Shifty said sternly.

"But we can't just waste good cookies!" Lifty protested.

"No, we aren't gon-mm" Lifty had shoved a cookie in his brother's mouth and made sure he swallowed it. "You could have killed me!"

"Isn't it good?" Lifty asked ignoring Shifty's comment.

Shifty sighed. "Ok yeah, take em' with you."

"Yeeess!" Lifty cheered.

"Wait! Leave one," Shifty said.

"Why?"

Shifty got out from a bag a little bottle with pills inside. He took a cookie and shoved the pill in the cookie and hid it so it looked like a chocolate chip.

"Are you trying to get him drugged up?" Lifty asked.

"What? No, after he eats this and takes a drink, he'll be in for a big surprise." The twins chuckled together. "And if we're lucky, we'll have it on video."

"Great, now let's ditch this place!" So the twins ran out of the house with all the loot they'd collected. "Hey Shift, how're we gonna get home with all his stuff without looking extremely awkward?" Lifty asked.

"You're right." Shifty thought for a minute. "To the car!" he ran off to the garage door and Lifty followed him. The door was open, so they went inside. I guess Splendid has an issue with locking doors, or he's just stupid. The examined the car. They thought it was good enough so they loaded their bags in the back. Shifty sat in the driver's seat while Lifty in the passenger's.

"Aw no!" Shifty said angrily.

"What?"

"We need a key!"

"Shit!" The two sat there for, not knowing what to do next. "Oh! I got it!" Lifty got out of his seat and went to the front of the car.

"What are you doing?" Shifty asked confused.

"I'm gonna hot-wire this thing."

"You can do that?"

"Yeah Shifty, I actually watch TV when you're not hogging it." That kept his brothers mouth shut while he got to work. He attached some wires and what not, Shifty could care less, and soon they had the car running. Lifty hopped back in the passenger's seat.

"Nice work lil bro!" Shifty complimented him.

"Thanks, now let's beat it."

"You got that right." Shifty put on the gas and zoomed out of the driveway towards their apartment. Their wild laughter could be heard from all around town.