Bill sat on the cold metal floor, her legs stretched out in front of her and her back pressed against the wooden doors. Her eyes were glued to the fabric of her jeans. Somewhere in front of her, the Doctor babbled about something in a long-winded, excited manner. Bill didn't know what he was talking about, probably due to the fact that she wasn't paying attention. Strange, that; as much as she loved his lectures and lessons, she couldn't even begin to pay attention. Not right now. Not after what had happened.
The loud banging sound of something hitting against metal almost drew her attention. Almost- but not quite. Instead, her eyes shifted from her jeans to the metal ceiling above her. Why was it metal? Why was almost everything in the TARDIS metal? Who had thought of calling the TARDIS the TARDIS? These were all questions that Bill had, and usually, she'd be up on her feet pacing back and forth across the floor, eyebrows raised and eyes bright with curiosity, asking them as more possible questions popped into her mind, barely giving anybody time to answer the first question before the second had found its way out of her mouth. But not right now. Not after what had happened.
Sighing, Bill shifted slightly. Sitting on a metal floor was not comfortable, to say the least. She was too stubborn to move, however, and so sat in her uncomfortable position on the floor, eyes still on the ceiling.
Unbeknown to her, the Doctor had noticed the quiet atmosphere of the TARDIS (once he had finished babbling); a quiet atmosphere that was certainly never present when somebody else was in the TARDIS. He turned away from the screen he had been staring at with boredom interest, and let out a high pitched whistle. Bill reluctantly moved her line of vision from the ceiling to his face, cocking an eyebrow.
"Are you okay?" He asked, trying to make the tone of his voice as casual as possible, lest she think he was even slightly concerned. Which he most definitely was not. Not at all. Maybe he was, just a little.
Bill forced a grin. "Me? 'Course I am! Never been better, actually. I mean, i'm in a spaceship. A spaceship that looks like a police box and time travels! Not everyday something so utterly Star Trek happens, is it?" The doctor chuckled, nodding. Bill's grin faded. "Actually, i'm not okay," The Doctor was no longer chuckling. He furrowed his brow. "I'm dying for a nice strong cup of tea." She added seriously, before erupting into giggles. The Doctor rolled his eyes as she stood up and stretched before walking over to him. "What's a girl got to do to get some tea in space?" She asked with a lop-sided smile.
"I'm not making you tea." The Doctor said before turning back to his screen. A gasp came from behind him.
"Please, Doctor? I've been through a traumatic experience!" Bill whined. The Doctor snorted, tapping icons on the screen that looked like circles. Bill didn't know what they meant or what they stood for, but she wanted to. That's when she had an idea. "If you make me tea, I promise not to ask any stupid questions." She declared. This got the Doctor's attention, and he half turned his head towards her.
"How will you know if it's a stupid question?" He asked her, wondering just how badly she wanted the cup of tea.
"I'll think 'Would the Doctor ask that?' and if you wouldn't then I won't ask the question." She affirmed. The Doctor stared at her for a few moments before sighing and hanging his head in defeat.
"Fine, I'll make you tea." He agreed. Bill clapped her hands together, smiling. "But you had better keep up your end of the bargain." The Doctor added, before turning around and walking through one of the various doorways. "Now I just have to find the kitchen, wherever it's gotten to." He mumbled.
The second he was out of the room, Bill put a hand to her forehead, sighing. She hadn't really wanted tea. Well, she had, but she'd wanted the Doctor gone more so. She just needed a moment to calm her thoughts, which were all over the place. She had left in the middle of the night without telling anyone. Her mum would be worried sick. She could forget about her job at the university still being there if when she got back. What would her friends think? Her thoughts were mainly about these issues, but there were others. Most of which were about Heather.
Heather, who Bill had seen from across the pub. Heather, who had returned Bill's gaze. Heather, who Bill thought was beautiful. Heather, who had left Bill inexplicably speechless when she had tried to talk to her. Heather, who had a beautiful star in her right eye. Heather, who had hated that star. Heather, who had left Bill all smiles and giggles. Heather, who had obsessed over a strange puddle. Heather, who had promised she wouldn't leave. Heather, who had disappeared. Heather, who hadn't been herself when she had returned. Heather, who had followed Bill across the world, across the universe, and across time itself. Heather, who had been intent on keeping her promise. Heather, who Bill had been forced to let go of. Heather, who had said goodbye. Heather, who Bill would never see again.
Bill felt a tear slip onto her cheek, and brushed it away instantly. She didn't want to cry. Her brain seemed intent on making her do so, however, as it told her how she could have prevented what happened. You could have dragged her away from the puddle. You could have convinced her that it was nothing to worry about. You could have done so many things! But you didn't.
She begged her brain to shut up for once and turned at the sound of footsteps, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket. "You took your time, didn't you?" She commented, hoping her voice didn't sound in any way shaky.
"Yes, yes, well it's hardly my fault that the kitchen's beside the game room now when it used to be beside the music room." The Doctor replied in a tone that was simultaneously sarcastic and exasperated as he walked up to her, a chipped blue cup in his left hand. His right hand behind his back. Bill gave him a puzzled look as he handed her the cup.
"You not having tea?" She asked before taking a sip of her own. She had to stop herself from grimacing. It wasn't that the tea was disgusting, it just...wasn't good. Bill decided there and then that she'd have to help the poor, clueless man learn how to make a decent cup of tea.
"Hm? Oh, god no. I've no idea how long the teabags have been there-it's been a few decades since I went shopping." He replied casually. Bill paled, staring down at the cup with disgust.
"Are you serious?" She asked, praying he wasn't. The Doctor simply shrugged before moving his right hand from behind his back, revealing a matching blue cup. Bill let out a laugh of relief before hitting his arm.
A comfortable silence filled the space between them, one in which the Doctor returned to his screen and Bill stared at the metal ceiling again. The silence remained until Bill had a thought. "Doctor, this is a time machine, right?" She asked, hope in her tone. The Doctor sighed.
"You promised you wouldn't ask any stupid questions." He pointed out. Bill scoffed.
"Rhetorical stupid questions don't count." She informed, sticking her tongue out at the back of his head. "Anyway, I was wondering if you could take me somewhere back in time." The Doctor turned to face her, his eyebrows raised.
"How far back in time?" He asked, watching her hands fiddle with the handle of her cup.
"To back before Christmas." She told him, worried that he would say no. "I have to meet someone." Bill added hesitantly, hoping that it would work in her favour, even if it didn't make sense. He sighed.
"How long will this meeting take?" He asked, putting his cup down on one of the control panels.
"Five minutes." She replied quickly. Almost too quickly. "Just five minutes."
The Doctor sighed. He knew. He always did. "Fine." He mumbled. "But if I do, no more stupid questions. including rhetorical ones." Bill laughed behind him.
"Deal." She said, knowing full well that she would be asking plenty of stupid questions, rhetorical or not.
"Good. Now, come over here and tell me where you want to go."
Bill hesitated for only a moment before walking over to him, gripping her cup tightly in both hands.
The Doctor's heart had sunk when she'd told him. It shouldn't have. He'd known where she wanted to go and who she wanted to see, but it hadn't stopped him from wanting to tell her not to. Of course, if he had, he would have been the biggest hypocrite of them all. As he punched in the coordinates and date, feeling the familiar hum of life beneath him and hearing the comforting whirr of his one constant companion, he thought about others who hadn't been so constant, and who he'd give anything to see again.
Clara, who had puzzled him and sacrificed herself. The Ponds, who had put up with him for some reason, and would have torn apart heaven when the were separated just to see each other again. Martha, the girl who walked the Earth. Donna, who had appeared in his TARDIS in her wedding dress, and would never remember him. Rose, the girl who he'd burned up a sun to say goodbye to. River, his wife who was full of spoilers. Susan, his brilliant granddaughter. Those were just the people who came to mind first, there were so many others, so many who he had failed, so many who, if given the chance, he'd return to; and the few to whom he had. But now there was Bill.
The whirr came to a sudden stop, signalling the TARDIS's materialisation. He turned to face Bill, taking her cup from her. She turned to face the door. He cleared his throat.
"Bill," He began. She turned her head slightly. "I...I'm sorry." It was all he could say. She turned to face him, smiling. Why was she always smiling? How could somebody find so many reasons to smile? He didn't know, but he wanted to.
"Don't be. Heather told me she wanted to leave, I guess she was finally able to. I just want to give her a proper goodbye this time." And with that Bill was off, marching with purpose towards the wooden doors; hesitating for only a moment before gripping one of the handles and pulling the door, continuing her march out into the rare autumn London sunshine.
The Doctor was left alone in his TARDIS with two cups of terrible lukewarm tea, and many ghosts. He could almost here River's voice in his head saying, 'Getting soft, sweetie?' He huffed slightly, trying not to laugh as he considered telling Bill that the last time that he'd actually been shopping was 1973.
Bill was running towards the fence, trying to time herself perfectly. As she crept behind a wall, she saw Heather sneaking out in front of her. That was how she'd disappeared so quickly after showing Bill the puddle for the first time. Resisting the urge to shout her name, Bill jumped forward, grabbing Heather by the shoulder and dragging her back behind the wall. Great going, Bill. Not creepy at all.
Heather stared at her with wide, confused eyes. "Bill?!" She exclaimed, looking as though she'd seen a ghost. Bill smiled at her gently, trying not to see dead eyes, pale skin and dripping water.
"Hey!" Bill said, laughing nervously. Why was she nervous? "So I know this is a bit..weird because I was just over by the puddle and now I'm here, in front of you, but I can explain!"
Heather raised her eyebrows and Bill paused. "Well, no, actually I can't. Just think of it as magic! Like I apparated! Wait you know what that is, right? Please tell me you've read Harry Potter." She stopped to take a breath and Heather nodded slowly.
Bill grinned. "Great! But if you've forgotten because, you know, odd situation at the minute, just think of it as..." She paused for a moment before an idea came to her. "Back to the Future! Easy one to get your head round; everyone loves Back to the Future!" Had she just given it away? No. No way. Impossible. Heather smiled awkwardly.
"Okay?" She said, not understanding what Bill was trying to say at all.
"So, listen, Heather I have to go somewhere for a while, I don't know how long for but, I just wanted to say goodbye." Bill's voice shook as she spoke.
Heather frowned as Bill stuck her hand out for the other girl to shake.
"Bill are you okay?" She asked, staring into Bill's eyes as though she were trying to spot a crack in the surface of a wall.
Bill felt that beautiful star examining her soul. She cleared her throat as she lowered her hand.
"Me? 'Course I am. I'm standing in a dodgy alley talking to a pretty girl, why wouldn't I be okay?" A small blush decorated Heather's cheek and Bill realised what she'd said. She forced herself to keep her grin in place as emergency alarms went off in her brain.
"So, where are you going?" Heather asked, changing the subject. Her blush remained. Bill shrugged vaguely.
"Everywhere, I suppose."
Heather smiled and nodded.
"When are you leaving?" She asked again. Bill was certain that this was as many questions as she'd ever heard the girl ask. Once again, she shrugged vaguely.
"Sometime soon." Bill tried to sound casual. Heather's blush deepened ever so slightly and her eyes darted to the concrete beneath them. She was nervous. Why was she nervous?
"So, would you...maybe have time for a coffee? Or te aif you prefer?" Bill wanted to faint. Instead, she counted to five in her mind, trying to make it look like she was thinking. Heather laced her fingers together anxiously. Bill decided that the doctor could wait, even if she had told him it'd be just five minutes.
"Um..yeah. Yeah, I think I have time." Bill had meant for the sentence to sound serious, she honestly had. But halfway through, she'd broken out in a grin and began giggling like a school girl.
Heather looked relieved, and, to Bill's surprise, she herself started to giggle. Bill had never heard Heather laugh before, let alone giggle. As she stared at the beautiful girl with the beautiful star giggle, mouth turned up and eyes scrunched shut, Bill decided that she liked the sound of Heather's giggle very much, and would even dare to call it beautiful.
"Come on, then." She said, unable to stop herself from grinning like the Cheshire cat.
"So...What do you like to do to, I dunno, chill out?" Bill asked as she stirred sugar into her cappuccino. Heather shrugged as she sipped her hot chocolate. Bill found that unbelievably adorable, even though it was a completely mundane thing.
"Um.." Heather paused, brow furrowed as she thought. "Painting, I guess." Bill raised her eyebrows.
"Really? That's wicked! I tried painting, once. I say once because it was a complete disaster. I probably had van Gogh turning in his grave."
Heather let out a snort of laughter, and Bill grinned. However, somewhere, in the back of her mind, she wasn't wouldn't turn into a beautiful yet sappy and cliche filled romance. It couldn't. There wasn't enough time, and Bill knew how this ended. How they ended. Visions of a pale skinned, dead eyed, drowned Heather threatened to fill Bill's mind.
Once Heather had recovered, she reached into the left pocket of her jeans and pulled out her phone, hesitating before she spoke. "Would you...like to see one of my pictures?" She asked it with a nervous edge in her tone, as though she were afraid Bill would say no.
Instead, Bill leaned over the table closer to Heather and nodded eagerly, her eyes bright with excitement.
"Okay, then." Heather mumbled, a small smile on her face as she unlocked her phone and opened her gallery, scrolling for a moment before handing the phone to Bill. "I-It's an old one, so.." She trailed off, waiting to see Bill's reaction.
Bill was speechless. The painting was unlike anything she'd ever seen. Swirling oranges, reds and yellows made up an evening sky, with the colours fading from yellow to blue and purple just over halfway up the canvas and mixing slightly where they met. The shades of blue and purple gradually grew darker and darker the closer they got to the top of the canvas. The sun was large, with rays darting out of it like tendrils and stretching out to touch the small stars that sat where the blue and purple mixed.
"It's...beautiful." She said, not being able to find any other words to describe it. Heather looked genuinely surprised.
"You really think so?" She asked quietly. Bill nodded, still dumbstruck.
"I really like the stars," Bill began, her eyes rising to meet Heather's. "But I like that one better." She said, pointing to Heather's eye. A cheesy grin spread across Bill's face as Heather blushed, looking away. Bill wanted to kiss her. But she couldn't. She knew how this ended. How they ended.
"You should paint me something, someday." Bill had said it without thinking, and wished she hadn't. After all, she knew how this ended. Heather simply smiled, her eyes meeting Bill's once again.
"I will." She promised. A moment later, her eyes lit up with an idea. "Bill, do you have your phone?" She asked.
Bill nodded, raising an eyebrow.
Heather pretended not to notice, and continued on. "If you give me your phone, I could send you a picture of the painting when I'm finished- what with you going away, and give it to you when you get back." She suggested, her eyes on her cup. Bill smirked.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you just wanted my phone number." Heather blushed violently and began to stutter out an objection, but Bill beat her to it, laughing. "Only joking. Let me get my phone."
It had been midday when Bill had marched out of the TARDIS, and as she made her way back to the alley, Heather beside her, the sun was beginning to set. "Well," Bill began, slowing her pace. "This is my stop." Heather nodded, smiling. Bill had never seen her smile so much. As much as she wanted the moment to last, she knew that it couldn't. She took a deep breath before speaking again. "Hey, Heather, the next time you see me...I need you to pretend like what happened today never actually happened." Bill said cautiously. Past her couldn't know. Heather looked..hurt. Oh no. Not good.
"What? Wh-" She was cut off by a panicked Bill.
"It's hard to explain! As in X-Files, stuck in the Matrix, Inception and Mandela effect hard to explain!" Heather's expression didn't change. "Look, Heather..I want you to know that today was amazing. You're amazing." It all came out in a rush. Heather's expression softened. "Oh! I'll be waiting on that painting, by the way. I'm gonna get it framed." She said with all seriousness. Heather laughed. Bill relaxed slightly, her smile returning.
"You haven't even seen it yet!" Heather exclaimed. Bill shrugged.
"Doesn't matter. It's gonna be awesome." Heather took a step closer. Then another. Then another. Eventually, she stood with her face an inch away from Bill's, their frosty breaths mixing. The tips of their shoes were touching. Bill's heart was in her throat as Heather leaned in with lidded eyes and-
kissed her.
Bill had to stop herself from jumping back with shock. She nearly died on the spot. Heather's lips were soft, and tasted sweet like the hot chocolate she'd been drinking.
From there, everything went in slow motion for Bill. Her heart was racing as she kissed Heather back, the other girl's hand coming to cup her cheek. Bill placed her hands on Heather's waist. Later, Bill would come to call that moment her The Fault in Our Stars moment, saying that it had happened slowly, and then all at once.
The girls stayed like that for what seemed like hours, when it reality, it had only been minutes. The only reason that they parted was for air.
Reluctantly, Bill removed her hands from Heather's waist at the same time the other girl removed her hand from her cheek.
"I'll um..text you." Heather said, flustered, before running off down the alley.
Under normal circumstances, Bill would have gone after her, but these weren't normal circumstances. So, instead, Bill grinned like an idiot and threw her arms in the air. "Score!" She yelled, not caring who heard.
"What time do you call this?" The Doctor asked as Bill threw open the TARDIS doors and skipped inside, a grin still plastered across her face.
"I call it Bill-Just-Got-Snogged time!" She declared gleefully, causing the Doctor to raise his eyebrows. "Now, come on and show me where the kitchen is, I'll make you a cup of tea."
Later, as Bill stood with the TARDIS doors open, watching stars and meteors pass (apparently she wasn't dying due to the TARDIS having an oxygen field around it, which was nice), her phone buzzed in her pocket. Bill didn't know how she had signal in space, and she didn't care as she rushed to get her phone out of her pocket.
'From: Heather 3; Since you like my "star" so much :)'
Bill felt giddy as she opened the message. Along with the text, Heather had sent an image. Bill was ready to cry. It was a portrait of her, and it was perfect. There was just one thing that Bill loved about it more than anything else. There, in the iris of her right eye, Heather had added a star, identical to hers. Bill did cry then, hugging the phone to her chest. No, she would never see Heather again; but at least she had a painting, memories of a kiss, and a star of her own. She couldn't have asked for more.
Heather hadn't understood why Bill had been so adamant on her acting like their kind-of, sort-of, not-quite-a-date had never happened. She wasn't sure why she'd kissed Bill, either. But, Bill hadn't seemed to mind, and that was good enough for Heather.
She also hadn't understood what Bill had meant when she'd told Heather that she was going away for a while, as she still saw her on campus; sneaking into lectures and giving out chips in the canteen. Occasionally, even though Heather hadn't been particularly keen on chips, she would go to the canteen and buy a plate of them, if only to be close to Bill for a moment. Once she even earned a wink from the girl, which had sent her head spinning.
One day, however, while she was contemplating the strange definitely-not-a-puddle, her mind filled with a voice that wasn't her own, she heard a familiar voice from behind her.
"Hey!" Startled, she turned to see Bill, grinning at her from the other side of the chainlink fence. Heather couldn't stop the small smile that spread onto her face. "Still making eyes at a puddle?" Her smile spread slightly as her mind drifted back to that autumn day, deciding to point it out in a non-obvious way.
"Did you ever work out what was wrong with your reflection?" She asked, the smile still on her face. Bill laughed slightly.
"Nah." The voice in Heather's mind that definitely wasn't her own spoke up.
"Bring her with you." For some reason, Heather felt like she was going somewhere, although she didn't know why. Heather's mouth moved faster than her mind.
"Come round," she began, not in control of what she was saying. "I'll show you."
Bill regarded her skeptically. "Promise you won't go?" She asked. Heather's smile grew slightly.
"Promise." Was what she had said. Never, was what she had wanted to say.
With that, Bill turned and ran, heading for the break in the fence. Meanwhile, Heather's legs were moving her of their own accord towards the puddle. Her heart began to race as she stepped down into the water, and didn't stop going. Heather screamed, water filling her mouth and lungs.
Her last coherant thoughts were of Bill, and how she would have thought that Heather had broken her promise.
AN: Hello! I posted this story to my AO3 quite a while ago, and thought it might be good to post here? I hope that you enjoyed reading it, and please be sure to leave a comment telling me what you thought of it! Until next time!