Author's Note: I refuse to accept the ending of the "Trigun" anime. I can accept it in the manga because it was better fleshed out but that's about it.

[Written on February 28th of 2002]
[Last Edited 8/14/15]

"Revival"
A Trigun one-shot

The church door swung open, and a man clad in black paused in the doorway, struggling to breathe steadily. "Forgive me for intruding," the priest muttered quietly, clutching the Cross Punisher desperately as his legs threatened to give way. No, I can't die here. If I am to expire, at least let me die before the eyes of the All Mighty Lord.

Whatever the reason, Nicholas found strength and began to walk down through aisle, suppressing whimpers of pain. Crimson drops rained down from his abdomen, staining the floor below him. Silently, Nicholas cursed. Dammit it all! I'm sorry for bringing bloodshed to this holy place...

He reached the altar, gazing at it with saddened eyes, hoping for a glimpse of some miracle. Some sign that he wasn't alone here. "In spite of the profession I've chosen, I've never actually made a confession before. It's these times we live in. I did what it took to protect the children at any cost. That's how I always justified my actions."

His lungs struggled with the effort to inhale and expand. "I took many peoples' lives, all that time believing there was no other way..." Nicholas took a deep shuddering breath, and the words slipped out of his mouth without thought. It was getting easier now.

"My sins are so heavy. Too heavy. Too heavy to ever atone for." Pain shot through his body, and Nicholas couldn't help but moan. His legs buckled beneath him, and he collapsed to the floor, clutching the cross closer. His vision darkened and he struggled to keep focus on the altar before him.

"And yet somehow I feel happy...at peace with myself today. It really can be done. Once you stop to think about it, th-there are plenty of ways to save everyone! Why didn't I ever listen to him? Why did I see before it was too late..?"

Damn. He was dying. He reached for a cigarette in a well-practiced movement and put it to his lips. He lit it, inhaling deeply before grinning. "That tastes good."

Though his body was failing, his mind was as sharp as ever. He was walking with Milly again, helping a girl escape from the bad guys. Milly took the cigarette from his very lips and smiled brightly. "You know cigarettes are bad for the baby, darling."

"I'm sorry, honey." The cigarette, as if agreeing with the memory, slipped from his lips and out of his line of vision. "If I am reincarnated, I'd like to live somewhere where life is easier. Somewhere with nothing but peaceful days. Somewhere with no stealing, no killing."

The vision of the dream fully overtook him, and he smiled. "Eden. In Eden, I can live happily with him...and the girls."

A mad seizure took hold of his body, and he coughed roughly. No use in getting lost in dreams. This is reality, and you are dying, Nicholas.

Sudden determination gripped him, and his eyes hardened. "I'm not ready yet! There's still much more left to be done! I want to stay! With them! I don't want to die!" His breathing turned ragged, and his vision went black. Images of the people he cared for swarm through his hazy mind. That needle noggin of an outlaw, his best friend. The Insurance girls but most of all Milly. Aqua eyes threatening to shallow him whole.

"I'm a man." His life flashed before his eyes. His parents' murder, the first life he took, the training he received from Chapel. "Was everything I did in my life a mistake?!"

He was crying now, but they were not tears of sadness rather tears of anger. He glared harshly at the altar before him. "Would I be wrong now to ask for your forgiveness?"

"I do not want to die this way!" The shout came gruffly from his throat, and sunlight spilled in from the windows, framing his face in a dreamy haze. His grip loosened from the cross, and limply, his hand fell to the floor.

His eyes suddenly felt heavy, and slowly they drifted closed. Darkness...

The first thing he remembered was Chapel. His own mentor pointing a gun at him, eyes wavering in panic. The sound of gun shots piercing the air. His flesh, suffering the consequences. His eyes opened, and slowly, Nicholas realized he wasn't dead. The white he was staring at belonged to the ceiling above him. He was alive, dammit.

"Thank the Lord!" he cried out happily, brief smile overturning his lips. It slipped away a moment later and Nicholas began to think. How was it possible?

"Mr. Priest is awake!"
"It's about time! I was getting sick of fluffing his pillow, feeding him-"
"Now, now. Milly is the one who did most of the work."
"Ow, that hurt! What was that for?!"
Small chuckle. "For undermining me, you idiot."
"Please, Mr. Vash, Ma'am, be silent. Mr. Priest needs peace and quiet."

Slowly, Nicholas laughed. Little did Milly know that idle chatter was exactly what he needed. It was heaven to hear those familiar voices again. He was in paradise. When he'd confronted Vash, the Humanoid Typhoon had made him promise to never take another life again. He was going to keep that promise from now on. Struggling to sit up, Nicholas's hand automatically reached for his pocket for a cigarette. It only found bandages.

Growling, Nicholas put his feet to the floor and stood up. A grunt of pain escaped his lips, and he fell back against the bed heavily. "Dammit, I'd give anything for a cigarette." That was when he realized he was not alone. On the other side of the room lay Vash's brother Knives.

"What the hell...," Nicholas muttered under his breath, seeing Knives clad in bandages not so different from Wolfwood's. Suddenly, he grinned and laughter spilled out of his lips for the second time. Tongari had done it. The lucky bastard!

"Shall we leave him to his own devices or go help him out?"
"Help him, of course!" Cried Milly in her sweet innocent voice.

I thought I'd lost all this, Nicholas thought silently. It's good to be home. Damn good to be alive.

The End