This is my 1st attempt at, as I have heard it put, ficking a song. All things in single quotation are the words to the song in this fic, Sarah McLachlan's 'Angel.'
`So tired of the straight line'
My name is Draco Malfoy. I'm a student of Hogwarts, but a Malfoy through and through. And so, when I heard the news of Voldemort's sudden rise to power and Cedric's death, I knew I had to decide my loyalties. Ordinarily it would've been an obvious choice: my family over Albus Dumbledore. But with Cedric's death came the realization that, for all the respect I had for my father, he was wrong to follow Voldemort.
And yet I feared to disobey my father's orders. I hated admitting it to myself, but I didn't really want to follow Voldemort- no, that was what my father wanted for me. That thin line between right and wrong is so easy to cross, and I didn't know really which side I was on, or which side I really wanted to be on.
'And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back'
There's always been my will, and my father's. He always got his way. I accepted that as the way things were. But never had there been this big a space between us. Never had I been so close to openly disobeying his will, his plans for me. But somehow, something had changed me, changed me so much that to go to Voldemort and pledge my loyalty to him would be simply impossible for me to do. I have always been good at hiding my emotions but even then I knew that my fury, my disgust for what Lucius would have been making me do would've spelled a sure death sentence for me, at Voldemort's hands.
There was nowhere to turn. I knew for a fact that everyone else at Hogwarts had already branded me an enemy for life, never even considering that I might not want to join the Dark Lord. My last name was Malfoy, that would have been enough for them to condemn me to Azkaban if that had been within their powers.
`And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack.'
Lying seemed to be all I did. Lies to my father, to Professor Snape, and to myself. I consoled myself that I had not yet made my decision-that was my excuse for lying to my father, and Snape wouldn't have been able to take it, I don't think, if I'd told him outright that I planned to join Voldemort. Because I knew more about Snape than most; even my father didn't know the things I did. I had seen the look in Snape's eyes every time he went with Father to see Voldemort, and I knew he hated what he was doing, but was too scared to stop. I didn't want to be like that. I didn't want to waste my life on one decision, and forever pledge my freedom, even my life, to a man I didn't trust and could never learn to like.
'It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time'
What was I supposed to do, though? There was nothing I could do. Even if I decided not to join Voldemort, what would it prove? I knew there would always be the skeptics who would refuse to believe I had really renounced the Dark Arts, but would it always be like that, if I chose to turn my back on my father and Voldemort, and fight for Dumbledore's side?
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees'
It was so much easier to believe that by joining Voldemort I would be doing what was right, so I would never have to face my father's fury. But even as I thought it, I knew I was fooling myself. What Voldemort and my father was doing was wrong. If I joined the Dark Lord, hundreds of innocent people would pay for my mistake.
But did I have the strength to do what was right? Or would I remain a prisoner of the life I had always known? Only time could tell.
And wishes collide....
`So tired of the straight line'
My name is Draco Malfoy. I'm a student of Hogwarts, but a Malfoy through and through. And so, when I heard the news of Voldemort's sudden rise to power and Cedric's death, I knew I had to decide my loyalties. Ordinarily it would've been an obvious choice: my family over Albus Dumbledore. But with Cedric's death came the realization that, for all the respect I had for my father, he was wrong to follow Voldemort.
And yet I feared to disobey my father's orders. I hated admitting it to myself, but I didn't really want to follow Voldemort- no, that was what my father wanted for me. That thin line between right and wrong is so easy to cross, and I didn't know really which side I was on, or which side I really wanted to be on.
'And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back'
There's always been my will, and my father's. He always got his way. I accepted that as the way things were. But never had there been this big a space between us. Never had I been so close to openly disobeying his will, his plans for me. But somehow, something had changed me, changed me so much that to go to Voldemort and pledge my loyalty to him would be simply impossible for me to do. I have always been good at hiding my emotions but even then I knew that my fury, my disgust for what Lucius would have been making me do would've spelled a sure death sentence for me, at Voldemort's hands.
There was nowhere to turn. I knew for a fact that everyone else at Hogwarts had already branded me an enemy for life, never even considering that I might not want to join the Dark Lord. My last name was Malfoy, that would have been enough for them to condemn me to Azkaban if that had been within their powers.
`And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack.'
Lying seemed to be all I did. Lies to my father, to Professor Snape, and to myself. I consoled myself that I had not yet made my decision-that was my excuse for lying to my father, and Snape wouldn't have been able to take it, I don't think, if I'd told him outright that I planned to join Voldemort. Because I knew more about Snape than most; even my father didn't know the things I did. I had seen the look in Snape's eyes every time he went with Father to see Voldemort, and I knew he hated what he was doing, but was too scared to stop. I didn't want to be like that. I didn't want to waste my life on one decision, and forever pledge my freedom, even my life, to a man I didn't trust and could never learn to like.
'It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time'
What was I supposed to do, though? There was nothing I could do. Even if I decided not to join Voldemort, what would it prove? I knew there would always be the skeptics who would refuse to believe I had really renounced the Dark Arts, but would it always be like that, if I chose to turn my back on my father and Voldemort, and fight for Dumbledore's side?
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees'
It was so much easier to believe that by joining Voldemort I would be doing what was right, so I would never have to face my father's fury. But even as I thought it, I knew I was fooling myself. What Voldemort and my father was doing was wrong. If I joined the Dark Lord, hundreds of innocent people would pay for my mistake.
But did I have the strength to do what was right? Or would I remain a prisoner of the life I had always known? Only time could tell.
And wishes collide....