Alright, so... my muse has apparently taken a vacation. So instead of updating "Who Says You Can't Go Home," I wrote this instead. Because Kendel said I had to write something, and she was rather persistent about it. So Kendel, here ya go!
The title comes from a Keith Urban song, if anyone is interested.
Read.
Can't Stop Loving You
The sun was sinking lower on the horizon, creating a beautiful sunset that was a rarity in Seattle. It was almost as if nature was aware that this was her last night in the city and was trying to make up for the terrible rainy weather it had made her suffer through over the past year or so.
Addison stared out the window of her office at Seattle Grace, thinking about how the next sunset she would see would be off the coast of California. That thought made her scared and excited all at once. While she knew she didn't really have a place in Seattle anymore, she was still terrified to start all over again in a new place. She had gotten used to her routine here, and even though she hated the weather and had been living in a hotel for the better part of three months, she was still nostalgic about leaving. It had been a rough year spent here, but despite all that had happened, she was going to miss everyone.
Well, almost everyone. She was more than ready to get far, far away from Alex Karev. What the hell had she been thinking? Ever since that night that he had blatantly told her that she was not his girlfriend, she had been kicking herself for ever thinking that he could actually be in a real relationship. That was a big, stupid mistake on her part… just another to add to the list of stupid things she had done lately and wished she could take back. A list which already included her 60-day no-sex pact with Mark. Seeing Derek with Meredith that evening after everything that had gone on earlier day had made her so emotionally exhausted that she hadn't been thinking straight. She never actually wanted to give a real relationship with Mark a try. She just hated to throw away that much history. Again.
No matter how hard or how much she tried to convince herself otherwise, she was still totally and completely in love with Derek. She hated the part of herself that couldn't get over him and move on. The part that still reached out for him in the middle of the night, despite the fact that they hadn't slept in the same bed in months. She missed him talking in his sleep and waking her up. She missed getting ready for work together. She just missed… him.
She sighed and turned back to the paperwork that she had to finish up before she left. She only had a few notes left on this patient and some other papers to sign off on, and then she'd be out of here for good.
As she was signing her name at the bottom of the patient's chart, there was a knock at her office door.
"Come in," she called.
The door slowly opened, and Derek stuck his head in.
"Hey."
"Hey," she replied, surprised to see him there.
"Wow… your office is… empty."
"Well, I'm leaving in the morning. Didn't want to leave all the packing until tonight."
"Makes sense," he said. He paced around slowly in front of her desk as she watched him curiously.
"Do you need something, Derek?"
"Oh, um… no. Not really. I just wanted to come by and wish you good luck before you left." He paused. "So… you're really leaving?"
"Yeah, I'm really leaving. My plane takes off at 8:00 tomorrow morning."
"Oh," he said, and she thought she could detect the tiniest bit of disappointment in his voice. He sat down in the chair across from her desk. "It's just… well… I never thought of what it would be like without you here. As much as you think I want you gone… it's not going to be the same without you."
"I suppose I'm going to miss it here, too… but I have no reason to stay anymore. And Naomi offered me a great job in L.A. I can pick my own hours and not have to wonder if I'm going to be able to sleep through the night without this damn pager going off. Plus, it's sunny there. A lot." she said with a tiny smile. And I won't have to see you and Meredith Grey all the time and feel sick to my stomach, she added silently to herself.
"Sounds like a good deal," Derek said quietly. "Well, I guess I better go, then, and let you finish your work so you can go."
"Yeah…"
"Good luck, Addie," he said as he came around the other side of the desk to hug her.
"Thanks," she replied, forcing herself to hold back the tears that were threatening to come.
"Call someone when you get there, okay? Just so we all know you made it alright."
"I will," she promised. "Bye, Derek"
"Goodbye, Addison," he said as he pulled the door closed behind him.
Addison sank down into her chair and let the tears flow freely now. She almost wished he hadn't come because now it felt about ten times harder to get on that plane in the morning. You have to go, Addie, she told herself. You have to start over. There's nothing left for you here.
On the other side of the door, unbeknownst to Addison, Derek was still there, thinking about how much he didn't want her to leave. He almost went back inside her office three times, but stopped himself from doing so each time he reached for the handle. She was moving on, and he had to accept that.
As he turned to walk away, he whispered quietly, "I love you, Addison."
- - - - - - - - - -
It was 6:28 a.m. when Addison's taxi pulled up to the Seattle-Tacoma International Airport the next morning. She paid the driver as he pulled her luggage from the trunk and slammed it closed before driving quickly away. She stood for a moment outside the door, looking around and taking one last look at the city before going inside. This is it, she thought nervously.
- - - - - - - - - -
Derek pressed his foot on the pedal harder as he raced toward the airport. He had spent the whole night thinking about Addison and how much he didn't want her to leave. Somewhere around 5:30 this morning, he had come to the painfully clear realization that he was still in love with her and that he always would be. He had to stop her from leaving. And he needed help.
He quickly dialed Callie's phone number, receiving a less-than-warm welcome on the other end. After a lot of begging and pleading, he had finally gotten her to give him Addison's gate and flight number. He had quickly showered and changed into some clothes that he hadn't been wearing for the past 32 hours, then grabbed his keys and headed for the airport. He just hoped he wouldn't be too late.
He reached the airport parking lot after what seemed like days, and he ran inside as fast as he could. He scanned the lobby areas and other places that she might be before he decided that she must have already gone through security. Damn, he thought. There was only one way of getting to her now, so he sprinted up to the ticket counter as fast as he could.
"I need a ticket!" he exclaimed.
"Good morning!" an overly chipper woman greeted him.
"Yeah, hi. I need a ticket."
"And where might you like a ticket to?"
"Anywhere, I don't care! Whatever is cheapest."
"There's no need to shout. Just a moment, please." She punched in some numbers in the computer. "How about Portland? It's quite pleasant there this time of year."
"Fantastic," he replied with little enthusiasm.
A few minutes later, ticket in hand, he sprinted toward the line to get through security. Come on, come on... he pleaded silently. The line was moving so slowly. If he didn't get through soon, it was going to be too late.
"Delta Airlines flight 1429 to Los Angeles, California will begin boarding from Gate C3 in approximately five minutes."
A few minutes later, Derek had finally gotten through security. All he had to do now was find gate C3. He saw a sign and ran as quickly as he could.
He saw her standing in line, ready to board the plane.
"Addison!"
She stopped dead in her tracks without turning around.
"Addison!" he called out again.
She turned around in line as Derek began making his way toward her. She excused herself and stepped out of line.
"Derek, what are you doing here?"
"Don't go, Addie. Please."
"What are you talking about, Derek? Did you hit your head?"
"I've been up all night. I couldn't sleep thinking about you and how you're leaving and how I'm not going to be able to see you and talk to you every day, and I can't stand the thought of that. Please don't go. I love you. I'm so in love with you. I know I screwed up, and I know I should have realized this sooner, but I'm telling you now. I love you. Please don't get on the plane."
"I—I have to go, Derek."
"No, you don't."
"Yeah, I do…"
"No," he pleaded, grabbing her hand. "You don't."
"Yes, I do. Naomi and Sam are waiting for me in Los Angeles. I can't do this right now."
She pulled away from him as she quickly handed her ticket to the gate attendant and boarded the plane.
Derek just stood there dumbfounded. He had known that this was a possibility, but he wanted more than anything for Addison to say that she still loved him, too, and to come home with him.
He walked away, heartbroken and defeated, wishing he had never let her go. If he had just realized all that he would have been giving up, he never would have thrown his marriage away. All he wanted to do now was to go home and sleep the next month or so of his life away.
He never quite made it to his car. Somewhere between Gate C3 and the security checkpoint, he collapsed onto one of the chairs in the waiting area. The minutes passed as he just sat there, watching people come and go and wondering what to do next.
Eventually, he managed to pull himself up off the chair, and he headed in the direction of the exit.
"Derek!"
He stopped in his tracks and whirled around so fast he almost made himself dizzy. He almost didn't believe what he was seeing – Addison was hurrying toward him. He caught her as she ran into his arms and hugged her as tightly as he could.
"I love you, too," she told him. "I never stopped."
"You don't know how happy you just made me. I'm not letting you go again. Ever."
She pulled back and looked him straight in the eye. "Good. Because this is where I want to be. No more messing around, okay? I don't want to screw this up again."
"Me either. We're done being stupid and selfish. It's you and me, alright? This is it."
"This is it," she echoed happily.
He quickly pulled her toward him and kissed her deeply. Pulling back a few moments later, both Addison and Derek were smiling. She held out her hand to him, and he gladly laced his fingers through hers.
"Let's go home."
Yes, that was happy and cheesy and cliche... and I don't care. I need happy Addek.
Okay, so this is just a one-shot -- I'm not going to continue it. HOWEVER... I may post more one-shots here in the future, so you might want to add this to your favorites if you're interested in reading them.
Now review.