Disclaimer: Don't own.
AN: Spoilers to episode 80.
It was raining. All the shinobi in Konoha were gathered, and it was raining. It was the third Hokage's funeral, and everyone was paying their respects in the customary block formation. There was a break in the rain, but the clouds stayed overhead.
Naruto made his way back into block and turned back to the memorial,"Iruka-sensei"
Iruka looked up from comforting Konohamaru.
"Why do people risk their lives for others?" he continued.
Iruka moved his gaze from the young boy to memorial in front of them, and thought about the question before answering, "When one person dies…he disappears…," he said softly, "Along with his past, current lifestyle, and his future. Many people die in missions and wars. They die easily and in surprisingly simple ways," his heart suddenly ached as his eyes roamed over the framed pictures in front of him, but he continued, "Hayate was one of them. Those who die have goals and dreams. But everyone has something as important as those. Parents, siblings, friends, lovers…" he could feel Naruto's gaze on him, and another that felt just as familiar, "People who are important to you. They trust and help each other. The bond between the people important to you ever since birth and the string that binds them becomes thicker and stronger as time goes by. It's beyond reason. Those bound to you by that string will do that. Because it's important…"
"Yes…" Naruto looked away from him and instead looked at the ground, "I think I understand somewhat. But…" he looked up at the memorial, "It's painful when someone dies."
"The third didn't die for nothing," Kakashi said from behind him, "He left something important in all of us. You'll find out what eventually."
Naruto gave him a sideways glance, and smiled, "Yes, I think I understand that, too, somewhat."
Iruka smiled fondly at him, as the silence took over again. Slowly, the clouds began to open up and it stopped raining.
The gathering slowly began to disperse. Naruto said his goodbye to Iruka before heading to his team, where Kakashi spoke to them and dismissed them for the rest of the day.
Iruka watched as everyone left the monument, some with masked sorrow on their faces, others showing it willingly.
He's gone, he thought solemnly. He didn't want to think about it, he wanted to live in denial for at least a while longer. At least until he got back home. He didn't notice when Kakashi walked towards him and silently stood beside him.
"Iruka?" he said softly. Iruka snapped away from his thoughts and instead looked at the masked older man, "Ready to go?" Iruka looked back at decreasing number of people that were leaving and then back at the older man, and forced a smile on his face, and nodded.
There was a silence between them as they walked to Iruka's apartment, that was only broken as they walked through puddles. Kakashi gave his lover concerned glances as they walked, from what he could tell, Iruka wasn't tense, if anything, he was sad, but he was trying to hide it. As they arrived at Iruka's apartment, the younger man hesitated as he opened the door.
"I…" he said softly, looking down at the doorknob instead of the older man, "If you don't mind…I would…I would like to be alone." Kakashi was taken aback a bit by the request, he wanted to be there for the younger man, and he had no doubt he would let him, but this, this was sudden.
"Are you sure?" he asked after a while. Iruka nodded. He gave him a considering look, hoping that the younger man would look at him, "Alright…" he said reluctantly, and Iruka opened the door to let himself in, "Iruka," he called him before he entered the apartment, the younger man finally looked at him, but only for a second before averting his gaze, "I'm here…if you need me."
Iruka gave him a small nod, "I know, thank you." He entered his apartment and let the door close with a soft click. Kakashi looked at the door for a while, before heading back to his own apartment.
Iruka entered his bedroom and changed out of his black attire and into a pair of sweatpants and a worn t-shirt. He wandered into the kitchen figuring that he should eat something, but once in the kitchen he realized that he didn't have much of an appetite. He sighed and instead went into his living room and lay down on his couch. He stared blankly at the ceiling as his train of thoughts led him to the day's events, and let reality hit him. The fact that the man that practically took him in after his parents died is gone. The man he respected and in turn respected him. The man that did so much for the village is gone.
Iruka pressed his palms against his eyes as he felt tears sting them. He could hear the rain hit his window with a soft patter as he rolled onto his side.
Everyone dies, he thought, echoing his own words from earlier, It's the strong bond that breaks in the process that hurts so much, silent tears rolled across his face and a sudden longing for his lover hit him square in the chest, bonds like the one we have, he choked back a sob when he thought of the pain losing the jounin would cause. Suddenly, he needed the other's warmth. The other's embrace. To know that the other is alive and still with him. He abruptly stood and slipped on his sandals before running out of the door and into the rain.
Kakashi laid on his couch trying to read his book, but his mind kept wandering back to his lover, should I go check on him? He shook his head at himself, No, he asked to be alone…still, I can't help but worry about him. A knock at the door interrupted musings, Who could that be? He frowned as he slipped on his mask and opened the door. A wet body hurled itself at him, nearly knocking him back. It wrapped it's arms around his neck and buried his face into his neck. Kakashi instantly wrapped his arms around the trembling younger man.
"Iruka," he said softly against the younger man's neck. He managed to kick the door closed before slipping off his mask. After a while, he gently pulled away to have a better look at the younger man. He was soaked; his hair clung to his forehead and cheeks, as his shirt and pants clung onto his body. He was trembling, either by the cold or anxiety, he wasn't sure.
"Stay right here, I'll get you dry clothes and a warm blanket, alright?" Iruka gave him a small nod in response, still averting his gaze from him. Kakashi rushed into his bedroom and retrieved a pair of sleeping pants and a t-shirt that Iruka had left there in the past, a soft old wool blanket and a towel from his bathroom. He came back to the trembling chunin and pulled off the soaked t-shirt before helping him into the dry one and throwing the blanket over his shoulders, nearly folding over the chunin twice. A soft blush crept onto Iruka's cheeks as the jounin tugged off his wet sweatpants from underneath the blanket, holding on to the older man's shoulder for balance and he stepped into the dry pair.
Kakashi toweled dried the chocolate strands and smiled as the younger man closed his eyes under the ministration, but his heart ached when he realized that he chocolate eyes were rimmed red. He threw the moist towel over onto his shoulder and rubbed the chunin's, trying to warm him up. He took a tan hand into his and led him to the couch, sitting down and pulling the chunin across his lap. Iruka shifted and rested his head on the older man's shoulder. Kakashi soothingly kissed the younger man's forehead, and Iruka shifted again to wrap his arms around the older man. The jounin tugged the falling blanket over the chilled chunin and held him closer. He rested his cheek on the brunette's moist hair and subconsciously ran a soothing hand on the chunin's back.
This; this warmth, this person, this love, is what Iruka is scared of losing. Scared of the day that the jounin doesn't come home, when his skills are out classed, but he knows that he would never be able to give this up.
"Many people die in missions and wars. They die easily and in surprisingly simple ways…"
His own words echoed in his mind and he felt tears blur his vision. He buried his face into the jounin's neck and tightened his hold.
"K-Kakashi," he choked on his sob and felt the arms around him pull him closer.
"Shhh, Ruru, it's alright," he said gently, trying to sooth the trembling man in his arms.
"Ka-Kakashi – I – I d-don't want to l-lose you-"
Kakashi's mismatched eyes widened and he felt a clench in his chest, "Iruka…"
"I-I love you, K-Kakashi -," he choked another sob as he tried to steady his voice, "I love you s-so much – if I w-were to lose you –" he didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to think of that pain. He didn't want to but his current vulnerable heart felt it anyway. He began to sob uncontrollably making the jounin's heart ache and tried to hold him closer.
"Ruru…," his throat felt tighten with emotion and tears threatened to spill, how it pained him to see his lover in such state, "Iruka," he cupped the younger man's face in his hands and looked into the tear stained face, and into saddened red rimmed eyes, "Iruka…you will never lose me," a small smile tugged on his lips, "because…because no matter what happens…" he dropped a hand and held it above the chunin's beating heart, "I will always be with you…I will never leave you, Iruka," the chocolate eyes welled up with fresh tears and the dark brows furrowed. A pale thumb swiftly wiped away a tear, "Please, Iruka, don't cry…"
Iruka's hand entwined its fingers with the pale one above his heart, holding it in a firm grip. He couldn't speak, he didn't trust his voice so instead he leaned in gave the jounin a tender kiss, one that tasted of salt and was filled with unspoken emotion. He pulled away and the older man kissed away his tears.
"I love you, Iruka," he said through the tightness in his throat.
Iruka tightened his grip on the pale hand, "Forever…" he said softly.
A soft smile grew on the jounin's lips, "Forever."
Iruka smiled at him through his tears and kissed the jounin again. He rested his head on his lover's shoulder as his emotional exhaustion began to take a toll on him. Their fingers stayed entwined as the older man watched his lover drift into sleep in his arms. He softly brushed his knuckles on a tan cheek.
I promise you that I will love you forever, Ruruhe smiled fondly at his sleeping lover, I promise that I will always stay with you.
"Those who die have goals and dreams. But everyone has something as important as those. Parents, siblings, friends, lovers… People who are important to you. They trust and help each other. The bond between the people important to you ever since birth and the string that binds them becomes thicker and stronger as time goes by. It's beyond reason. Those bound to you by that string will do that. Because it's important…"