A/N: I don't own House. Many thanks to sparrowlove over on LJ for the beta. This was done for wilsonfest on LJ.
Wilson hadn't told Dr. Paper about Amber. He wasn't sure why he was avoiding it, but he knew he couldn't for long. Dr. Paper had killer observation skills and the ability to make Wilson feel guilty for keeping things from her, just like his mother.
Wilson wished he could just tell his therapist about his new, young, pretty girlfriend, but he felt like something was wrong with him and Amber whenever he tried just talking about them. He couldn't keep House's words out of his head. Wilson hadn't told the good doctor about that either.
"Good morning, James!" Paper said loudly as Wilson walked though the office door. She smiled her smile- the one that made Wilson wish he'd bothered to find another PhD. One that didn't pry quite as much.
"Hello, Dr. Paper." Wilson said, trying to be polite. He sat on Paper's dark blue patient couch. She settled down in her lilac easy chair. Wilson wondered whether the way they were seated is supposed to make him feel better about spilling his inner most thoughts. It didn't.
"James, I'm going to cut to the chase." Paper frowns at Wilson. "You've been keeping yourself from me. For over a month. You talk about your patients and your administrative work, but you've stopped talking about your friend."
Wilson and Dr. Paper had spent most of the sessions before Amber talking about House. Sometimes Wilson would worry that House would find the notes from his sessions the way he found Stacy's. He didn't think he could live through House's egotistical reaction.
Paper watched Wilson patiently while he debated what to say.
"I started seeing an ex-fellow of Houses," he began. "He calls her Cut-Throat Bitch."
"And how long had this relationship-"
"Four weeks or so."
"And you kept it from House?"
"Yes."
"Why? Did you think he wouldn't approve? You wanted to play mind games?"
Wilson stopped and leaned back into the couch. He whipped his palms on his knees. "He… well, you know. We talked about it before. He. He likes to help me ruin my relationships."
Dr. Paper waited for Wilson to say more. When he didn't she said, "Do you remember when we talked about not letting him rule your life? And not blaming him for your infidelity?"
"Yes. That's why I didn't tell him." Wilson sighed, "but he found out."
"How?"
"He followed me." Wilson said bitterly.
"Then what happened?" Paper asked, leaning forward with her chin in her hands.
"Nothing important. Well. Until he invited himself on another date. That… that didn't go well." Wilson sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. "He was listing all of her more… undesirable qualities when he came to the conclusion that it might as well have been him I was sleeping with."
"I hate to be cliché, but, how does that make you feel?" Paper asked after a moments silence.
"I wasn't. I'm not… really sure. And the more I think about it, the more confused I get. Amber is House. I did comparisons and I thought about it for hours." Wilson shakes his head. "And then he goes and says he doesn't mind me dating Amber. One could assume he's being self-sacrificing, right?"
"Yes."
"He said he would never do that! I mean. I just don't get it!" Wilson rubbed the back of his neck. "I mean, how can you be self sacrificing without sacrificing self?"
"I don't know. " Paper admitted. Wilson shrugged. He hadn't really expected her to. "So… how do you think this will effect your relationship with House?"
"We've… been through worse. I can't see why this would change things to much."
"James, can I ask you a very personal question?"
"That's what I'm here for."
"Are you in love with your friend?"
Wilson gave her a look, but thought about it. "Maybe. Err- no! I mean no. No, I'm not."
"Well, do you think he loves you?"
"He… he doesn't love a lot of things. He stresses and obsesses about me the same way he obsesses over Stacy and Cuddy. I don't know. I really don't." He did though.
"Do you wish he did?"
"Not really."
"Do you love Amber?"
"I think I do. Or I could. I feel like I could, given the time." Wilson smiled. "I think it could really work out."
"Why? Because your relationship with House has lasted so long?"
"Yes and no. She's everything I love about women and all the qualities House has that has made our screwed up friendship work."
"So you don't love House, but you may love the girl who's just like him?"
"Um, yes."
"Don't take this the wrong way, but have you ever felt a strong loving emotion for House?"
"…Sometimes… well, I don't… randomly. I don't know?" Wilson remarked uncomfortably, shifting in his seat.
"How randomly? Is it a regular random? Everyday, once a week?"
"Few times a day." He admitted.
"Do you link stress or aggravation with this random compassion?"
"Sometimes. I mean, not all the time."
"Do you have these feelings for Amber?"
"Yes." Wilson replied firmly. He was both unhappy and a little irritated by that conversation.
"How often?"
"A couple times a day. When I see her."
"More or less then House."
"Less," he mumbled.
Paper sighed, leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs. "Can I give you my honest opinion?"
"That is what I pay you for." He cringed at the sound of his own voice.
"You have a choice. You can develop a loving, lasting relationship with House or Amber. Either would work as well as the other. All you have to do is some deep soul searching. You'll make the right choice for you."
Wilson nodded. He hadn't really thought of it that way.
And suddenly he knew what he wanted.
Mary Paper, PhD smiled as she saw the look on Wilson's face.