STAY
I love this place
But it's haunted without you
My tired heart
Is beating so slow
This house was still as good as before, our home in The Victors' Village. I called it 'our home' because this had been where you came back every time you were released by the Capitol with a very limited time. You never went back to your own house, even though the distance was only a few houses away. Somehow I always accepted it, without question or suspicion. Always believe in you even though I could imagine how many women have dates with you out there. Perhaps because it was just you who always believe in me as well.
But now it felt lonely and strange. Each wall reflected back your voice, every window reflected your face, and every cup exuded your smell. At first I was hesitant to go back, thinking maybe I'd better stay in the care of the hospital doctors in the Capitol. But it reminded me of your sufferings. So I could not. I chose to remember you in a good memory, the happy you. That's what makes my heart still beating, weakly.
Our hearts sing less
Than we wanted, we wanted
Our hearts sing cause
We do not know
We do not know
The first time I got here, I tried not to cry, but failed. You cheered me up, but you also failed, because you're hurt too. For months I could only confined within my own fears, ignoring you who never gave up trying to restore my smile. My fear never ends; Finn, but your existence arrested me from falling. At least, in the following years we could still sit on the porch in the morning, breathe in the air a lot, hum our favorite childhood song—Swimming Fish. Your expression was so funny when imitating the fish. Your laugh was so happy. Gaze of your eyes was so soft. Only seeing you, I could feel the future.
Really, you're a cunning actor.
To light the night, to help us grow
To help us grow
It is not said,
I always know
No need to tell how it felt to lose you. It hurt more than losing me. Oh, I did not even intend to live anymore. The only reason I kept my heart beating—rather than stabbed it to end this misery—was because I knew you're not going to allow it. I knew you're going to suffer if I hurt myself. I knew, although sometimes still could not believe the wonder of it; the miracle that you loved me.
But now I've got one more reason to sustain life: this baby, who kept moving in my stomach in a way that made me comfortable as being in your arms. I could not leave him, the only mine left, the only one I loved besides you. I was going to see him born into the world. What a sigh of relief each time I realized that he, our son, would not feel the horror and anxiety that we felt as teenagers—he could be happy.
Well, he's kicking again, sending waves of warmth to my body. He's strong, like you.
You can catch me
Don't you run, don't you run
If you live another day
In this happy little house
The fire's here to stay
After hearing the news of your death, my biggest question was: why did not you engage me? Why did you go alone? Did not you say I'm your only happiness? Did not you know I gave myself completely to you—in sadness and in happiness, in sickness and in health? You're supposed to take me away from this evil world!
I understood it much later, Finn. When I first heard the cries of our son, then I figured it out. You did not leave me. You wanted me to prepare our home—real home, a place to live for a family, because eventually you came back. When I looked into his eyes that were yours, I knew you're alive again in him. This time, I smiled.
Please don't make a fuss, it won't go away
The wonder of it all
The wonder that I made
I am here to stay
I am here to stay
Stay
"Mom...? You really will not go to the Capitol? You can shop while I meet with the man who will buy my boat." Finnick Jr. turned to his mother. Annie shook her head, smiling.
"No, honey. I will stay here."
Please comment/share/favorite/anything! I'm widely open for criticism! English is not my first language so my grammar and structure are not perfect, but I've tried my best! :) Thank you ^^